


One Fine Life   +++ English Version+++

by Mckie



Series: One Fine Life AU [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Barely based on One fine day, Broody Carmilla, Cute daughters, Domestic Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein, Endgame Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein, F/F, F/M, Hollstein - Freeform, Laura Hollis and Carmilla Karnstein are Parents, Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein Fluff, Minor Ell/Carmilla Karnstein, Other, POV Alternating, POV Multiple, Single Parents, These two are the piniest pines that ever pined, Tiny Gay Laura Hollis, Total losers in love, alternative universe, but life happens, shared POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-10-22 08:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 123,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10693023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mckie/pseuds/Mckie
Summary: Laura Hollis’ life is a mess. The only thing giving her stability is her job as a journalist and her family.Carmilla Karnstein has her whole life sorted. She's a successful publicist and has a family she loves.They definitely don't need anything or anyone else... or that's what they thought until the moment they met.COMPLETED





	1. One fine day

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [One fine life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4937536) by [Mckie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mckie/pseuds/Mckie). 



> Hey, Creampuffs! 
> 
> So, here's my english version from my story One Fine Life, that I wrote in spanish. So, here we go. ;) 
> 
>  
> 
> Biggest shout out to my Beta Niall, he's the best and so much more! :*

You've had a hellish day at the office. In general, you know that clients are always idiots, but you’re confident that today’s one has been the worst ever. 

“Karnstein! Did you see the CEO’s face? I was on the verge of killing you when you suggested that maybe they should hire another advertising agency for their campaign. I don’t know how you saved it, but I definitely want you to stay with us forever!”

“He's an idiot that doesn’t know what’s good for his company. If he had paid more attention to our proposal the first time instead of Elsie's legs, he would have understood it correctly in the beginning.”  
At least you have fun winding up Ian, your boss. Ever since you started working with him as a trainee, he has never ceased to be frustrated by your behavior. But he’ll never let you go because he knows how good your ideas are and how well you do your job, even though he swears that his hair has gone grayer since you joined the firm. From the day you started, his business and client base has kept growing, so he knows your work is beyond reproach. Now that you're the Creative Director, his agency is the country's number one.

“Hey, sweetie… Uhm, I mean, Carmilla, you have several calls from the school.”

Elsie has been working as your personal assistant for several years. Ever since that one time that you lost your composure at the New Year’s company party and nearly slept with her, she thinks she can flirt with you all the time. Fortunately, she doesn’t try to cross any boundaries during working hours; when there are people around you in the office, she’s professional and mostly subtle about what she thinks is going on between both of you. As far as you’re concerned, nothing’s ever going to happen between Elsie and you. But apparently, she’s convinced that it’s only a matter of time.  
“Thank you, Elsie,” you reply curtly. “I’ll return the calls in a minute. You can go now.”

“‘Sweetie, eh? Now you're like the voyeuristic guy from that teen movie who sleeps with his assistant?” says Ian when she leaves.

“That was bondage” you reply to your boss who looks surprised by your correction. “Ian, anyone with half a brain knows the difference between voyeurism and BDSM,” you sigh. 

You try to make it clear that you haven’t read any of those books. That is if you can call them books at all.

“Whatever, Karnstein! I just wanted to congratulate you on getting the account, so I’ll let you make your calls ... Sweetie.”

Your boss walks out of your office laughing, and you pick up the phone to return the calls from school.

An hour later you find yourself walking through the school hall, following a secretary taking you to the appropriate classroom. When you arrive, you see three children sitting at different desks in the room. At the back, there is a child with a black eye. It's a lot worse than you expected from the phone call. There’s snot pouring out of his nose as a woman tries to wipe his tear-streaked face, while a man beside them with crossed arms looks bored and apathetic.

In the middle of the room, there seems to be a little kid almost hidden in their black hoodie, which prevents you from seeing who they actually are.

Near the main desk and beside the door, you find the reason for your presence there; a small girl with curly, honey-blond hair. But her hair is not as flawless as when you left her to the school this morning, nor her clothes as clean as expected. Stunned, you stand in front of her small desk, waiting for her to raise her eyes and acknowledge your presence. She knows you’re there but keeps her head lowered because she knows what awaits her. After watching her with folded arms for a few minutes, you bow down to look into her eyes.

“Do you want to explain what this is all about, Cupcake?”

The small girl raises her head slightly, and you can see the regret on her face.

“Sorry, Mommy,” she whispers.

When you stay silent, she continues to talk. “But it's not my fault, I swear. He started it! There was no need for him to be mean. He said horrible things. He shouldn’t have said them. We supposed to be kind to others. It really wasn’t my fault.”

“Hayley, you can’t just punch a kid because he insults you.” 

Ugh, you don’t recognize yourself. Carmilla Karnstein preaching against violence?

“He didn’t say anything to me. But he still said ugly things. I asked him to stop saying them, but he wouldn’t stop, Mommy!”

You breathe deeply before finally understanding what your daughter is trying to say.

“Wait, if he didn't say anything bad to you, then why did you hit him?”

“Because he was bothering Sloan,” said the blonde, looking towards the other child you had noticed earlier.

When you turn around, your gaze connects with the eyes of a distressed little girl who had lifted the hood of her sweatshirt. The child’s hair is almost the same intense black as yours, and her pale skin makes it seem even darker. There is something about her that draws your attention, and you give the girl a friendly nod before returning your gaze to the blonde.

“I understand Hayley, but you can’t go around the world defending every person you meet. She has to learn to stick up for herself; you’re not always going to be there to take care of her.”

“But he said horrible things! He was making fun of Sloan and said she was ugly, and I told him that Sloan is not ugly, and he didn’t need to be mean to her. But he wouldn’t stop. He said no one wanted to be friends with Sloan and that her clothes were dirty, and it was awful. I told him to leave her alone, but he didn’t stop and kept saying bad things. Then he pushed her. You always told me that no boy should lay a hand on a girl, and that’s why I hit him!” says your daughter in a rush.  
That is one of the worst things about Hayley; she can talk for hours. When Will brought her to the fair, you had to listen to her stories for at least a week afterward. And yes, it can drive you to distraction sometimes, but you had also learned to love it. 

“Hayley, you can’t do that. I know you wanted to defend the girl, but really you can’t go around hitting everyone just because they’re attacking someone else.”

“It's not fair! He was bothering my friend.”

“Hayley, today was the first day of school. You don’t even know her!”

“It doesn’t matter! Sloan's still my friend,” insisted Hayley.  
You can feel the gaze of the other child again and turn to notice her staring. You're not sure, but she seems stunned at hearing Hayley’s assertion.

“Buttercup …"

“It's not fair,” says your daughter again with downcast eyes and pouting. You’re defenseless and realize that you’ve lost miserably. You breathe deeply as you have been doing ever since the blonde came into your life.

You straighten up and start to walk towards the couple and child when something interrupts you.

The room door suddenly bursts open to reveal a flustered blonde entering the room awkwardly. The woman remains frozen for a minute when she sees you looking at her, and you manage to register a slight blush on her face when you raise one of your eyebrows in question. Her hair is just like your daughter’s, only messier, and her eyes were just as piercing as Hayley’s.

The short blonde stares at you a few more seconds before running to the black-haired girl, but not before bumping into a pair of desks on the way. 

Your mind has gone blank since you saw her but you manage to gather yourself together again before approaching the other child's parents. You easily manage to convince the father to drop the whole matter, but the real difficulty is with the mother who doesn’t want to accept that her child is also to blame for what happened.

“I think your son owes an apology to my daughter!”

The voice that interrupted your discussion with the child's mother makes you shudder for a moment. You turn around a bit to find the blonde next to you, and she’s absolutely furious.

“Rudolph doesn’t owe anything to anyone. He deserves an apology for being hit!”

You try to speak, but the tiny blonde cuts you off.

“Hayley was just defending my daughter from your son's bullying!”

You again raise an eyebrow at the blonde. She is supporting your daughter, and she says her name as if it were the most natural thing in the world. It also seems that her cheeks go red again when she sees you watching. 

Not that you've been staring at her enough to notice how cute that is.

“How dare you! My son is not a bully! Why don’t you do something about your weirdo daughter’s attitude?”

The blonde woman goes red in the face again, but this time, it’s a little terrifying and not remotely cute.

“Oh! I will not allow you…"

The blonde takes a step towards the other woman who seems terrified by her action. But you grab her wrist to stop her, even though you’re a little scared of her yourself. You still find it amusing to see how this little woman becomes a maelstrom of violence to defend her daughter. It’s humorous and cute.  
Still scary, though.  
The blonde trails her gaze from your face to your hand taking her wrist and back to your face again. Now you’re the one who’s blushing slightly, and you slowly loosen your grip to talk with the boy’s mother. 

“Look, lady, there is no need to make this bigger than it is. Hayley will apologize to your son, with the only condition being that he apologize to …"

“Sloan,” says the blonde when she sees you don’t know the name of her daughter.

“Sloan,” you add, nodding to the blonde.

The woman agrees, intimidated by the look of the blonde while her husband, who is now sitting on one of the desks, seems to enjoy the scene a little too much. The blonde goes over to her daughter, while you rejoin Hayley.  
“Cupcake, you have to apologize to the kid for punching him.”

“But Mom, that’s not fair!”

Again a sigh leaves your mouth when you get lean down to be eye level with Hayley.

“No, it isn’t, and the world isn’t always fair. But it's what you should do.”

Your daughter looks at you, still unconvinced at your words. But you know your daughter, and you know how to persuade her.

“Look, the thing is if you apologize to the boy, he will apologize to Sloan. Wouldn’t you like Sloan to feel better?”

Your daughter's eyes light up even though you see she still wants to argue the point but convinces herself that what you said is true.

“Fiiiineee.”

Your daughter walks to the back of the room to apologize to the child. You perceive that the boy cringes slightly when he sees your daughter getting closer, but when she opens her mouth to apologize, he calms down and just nods.

Hayley walks back to you, and you can see her eyes rolling while she crosses her arms. You try not to laugh in front of everyone because you know what that gesture means. Your daughter can’t stand to be told she’s wrong in her beliefs. You know she did nothing wrong, but you can’t let her go through life trying to solve her problems the way you did at her age. Being a mother means that you have to at least prevent your child making the same mistakes you did.

The other child gets up and apologizes to Sloan in a forced and blatantly unrepentant manner, while the small black-haired girl only looks at him and nods briefly.

The mother of the girl has her arms folded, and you swear that she rolls her eyes in the same way your daughter did just a few moments ago. This woman is something else.

The boy has left the room with his parents when you notice the blonde coming towards both of you, holding her daughter's hand. Sloan’s head is bowed, and again her hoodie is covering her face completely. You can almost feel the sadness emanating from the girl. You recognize something in her that calls out to you.

You look at the blonde, and you can see her concern for her daughter. But she looks into your eyes, a smile emerges on her face. 

It's beautiful.

You feel yourself smiling back, but you manage to curb it. The only one who has ever made you smile like that before is your daughter, and it mystifies you that you’d do it now to a woman that you’ve only just met.

“Thank you very much for defending Sloan,” says the blonde while leaning down to Hayley.  
“’It’s okay, Sloan’s mom. She's my friend, and I will always defend her,” replies Hayley, sincerely.

You see the woman's staring wonderingly at Hayley as she sheds a small tear. But she wipes it away quickly, and her smile is even bigger. You don’t know how that could be possible, but it is.

“I'm Laura.”

The blonde reaches out to offer her hand to your daughter, and Hayley shakes it firmly.

“Nice to meet you, Laura. This is my mom; she’s called Carmilla.”

You feel your daughter stare at you quizzically when she introduces you, as you’re still staring silently at the blonde.

Laura. That’s her name.

“She’s a publicist. No, she is the BEST publicist in the world. She’s Creative Director of the agency. Her agency is the best. I like to go with her to the agency because they have a basketball court. I am too small to reach the basket, but I like to see how my mom's friends play. Sometimes they let me play with them, and they carry me to shoot. Sloan is taller than me, I’m sure she could get baskets by herself.”

You feel your daughter is covering for you, after noticing you still haven’t said a word. And you still don’t.

Laura is listening fondly to your daughter, looking as if she wants to smother her with tender kisses. And the funny thing about the situation is that you are there watching this woman in the same way.

“Wow! That sounds exciting, Hay.”

The affectionate nickname that Laura gives Hayley makes you jump. It's the same one you use when your child is sick, and you want to show how much you care for her.

“I'm not very good at basketball either,” continues Laura. “I'm about as small as you but I like to run, and I’m very fast. I’m sure Sloan would love to play basketball because she’d be very good at scoring; there are times I ask her to throw out her trash and she shoots from many meters away and manages to score without touching the rim.”

This can’t be happening. You have to stop the cute conversation these two are having, or you’ll probably never get out of there.

You touch your daughter's shoulder to let her know that you two should go and finally Laura lets go of her hand.

Laura rises to her feet and now extends her hand towards you.

“Laura,” she says.

“Carmilla," you reply. “Hayley, we have to go,” you say awkwardly when you realize you’re still staring at Laura.

Hayley walks to Sloan and gives her a hug. The black-haired girl tenses slightly when she feels your daughter’s arms embrace her.

You and Laura are just spectators for the scene, and she smiles again at your little girl's actions.

Again she looks at you and then looks at her hand still clasped in yours. You withdraw yours immediately. Is it getting hotter in this damn room!? They were supposed to have installed a new air conditioning system, according to the tour you had to take when signing Hayley up for this school, right?

“Mom, before we leave, can I show Bagheera to Sloan please?”

You can only nod to your daughter's wishes and pass her your phone to search for pictures of the black cat that you got her for a pet.

There is a brief silence as the girls sit at a desk away from both of you to look at the cat pics. Hayley starts to tell Sloan about how you took her to the pet shelter to get the black cat and that she named him ‘Bagheera’ after her favorite book. 

“Really, thank you so much,” says Laura breaking the silence while leaning on the desk in front of you. “Sloan has a hard time making friends. She is very shy, and that makes her reluctant to talk to other kids. So they think it's weird because she's always reading or listening to her music. She has never had a real friend.”

You look askance at Laura, but you keep watching the two girls and how they interact. Your daughter is already recounting the first day that the two of you tried to bathe Bagheera. He gave you dozens of scratches while you tried to get him into the bathtub, leaving both of you wetter that the cat after the ordeal. Hayley dies laughing whenever she tells that story, and this was no exception. 

Sloan is attentive as she looks at the pictures and all she does is nod and smile at the contagious laughter of your daughter. That always happens to you too, no matter how tired, angry and frustrated you are. When you hear Hayley's laughter, you can’t help but smile.

“You know Sloan told me that Hayley had said she was her friend. Your daughter is an angel.”

She is, you think.

“I would love her to be friends with Sloan if you didn’t mind. I’m sure Sloan would love for her to come home to play.”

Now Hayley has one arm around the shoulders of Sloan who looks a little overwhelmed with the situation while she’s holding your phone and continues to show her more pictures. Your daughter has removed the hood so they can see each other while chatting and the girl lets her do it without flinching. You find yourself recognizing a kindred spirit in Sloan.

“It’s fine by me,” you finally manage to say.

You look at Laura who is still smiling, apparently heart-warmed by the actions of your daughter and your approval of the friendship.

“Whenever you want us to do it, call me,” you say.

You spit out the words without thinking, and when you realize how they sounded, it’s too late to take them back.

“I meant, when you want Hayley to play with Sloan,” you say awkwardly. “Look, just give me a call and we can schedule a playdate.”

Stupid school, it is clear that they lied to you about the air conditioners. The room is hotter than hell. Laura obviously finds it warm too, because you see her fanning herself with her hand

“Thank you. You don’t know what that means for me… well, for Sloan and me,” Laura answers as if nothing happened and you thank her silently for ignoring your foolish comment.

You nod and call Hayley again to pick up her things so that both of you can leave. Laura tells Sloan to do the same. 

“Again thank you for defending Sloan. That other child is such a brat.”

“Well, you can’t blame him with parents like that. Who the hell names their child Rudolph anyway?”

Somehow, Laura makes you feel comfortable enough to release one of your classic snarky remarks. The blonde lets out a loud laugh. Loud and melodious laughter, like choirs of angels. That laugh.

A few minutes later, the four of you are standing outside the main door of the school.

Hayley again embraces Sloan who seems increasingly comfortable with each hug and approaches Laura to hug her too as she says goodbye.

“So, The Clash, eh? You have excellent taste. See you soon, kiddo,” you tell her while you point to the hoodie.

The girl looks up to you and smiles shyly. You ruffle her hair and return the smile while saying goodbye. 

Laura extends her hand to you again.

“It's been a real pleasure, Carmilla” Laura says cheerfully.

“A real pleasure, Laura” you agree. 

 

Still smiling, you walk back to your car with your daughter’s hand in yours. After all, it has been a very good day indeed.


	2. One fine day indeed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura receives a call from her daughter's school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2 because I'm a gentle person and also because they belong together, you'll see.. :D
> 
> Again, big shout out to my Beta Niall, he's the one making this readable ;) 
> 
>  
> 
> Mckie!

You wake up with the first rays of the sun, and you smile. You think it’s going to be a special day, like every day. You have so many things to do, but surely you’re going to enjoy them. The light coming through the window seems a lot brighter than it should be.

You wake up quickly and look at the clock that is on your bedside table only to realize you've overslept and only have about twenty minutes to get ready. Jumping out of bed, you race to your daughter's bedroom, only to find her sitting on her bed, fully dressed and ready for school. It’s at times like this that it seems that she is the mother rather than you. Giving her a grateful look, you run back to the bathroom to get ready and leave. 

“Are you excited for your first day at school?” From the backseat of the car, Sloan gazes out the window without looking at you. You already know she’s isn’t excited, but don’t want to dampen your expectations of her. You love your daughter, and you’d love her to be happier. She doesn’t smile very often at people she doesn't know. That has never worked out well for her. 

“I love you. Today will be a special day, Sloan. You’ll see,” you tell your daughter when she’s out of the car walking toward the school. She nods and drags her backpack along the ground, without uttering a word. A few hours later, you find yourself in your office at Channel 3, where you’ve worked since you were at college. You started as an intern and over time you've climbed the ladder to become Chief Editor at the channel. This ensures long hours of work and great pay, but it also means less time to spend with Sloan. While this makes you feel constantly guilty, you just know that your sacrifices will pay off later. 

“Hollis, I can’t believe you broke this story about the scandal in the Prime Minister’s office!” says Sophia, your boss. 

“It’s something we couldn’t pass up. Besides, you know that we need to let people know the truth.” 

“Laura Hollis, defender of free speech!” 

You laugh at the name but secretly you feel honored that she recognizes and values your principles. You’re humble, but then again who doesn’t like to see that their work is appreciated? “Laura, you have a call on line five. It’s from your daughter’s school.” You run to the phone to take the call. Clearly, there must be an emergency for them to call you on the first day of school. 

“Laura Hollis.” 

“HI, Laura. Sorry for the call but there was a situation with Sloan…” 

“Is she okay, Perry?” 

“Yes, Laura. She's fine but she was involved in a fight, and we need you to come down to the school immediately.” 

“Thanks, Perry. I'm on my way.” 

You hang up, and you tell your boss that you have to go. Sophia knows how important your daughter is in your life and how good you are at your job. So she lets you go immediately. You drive away from the building only to run into a long line of traffic that makes you a lot angrier than it should. 

You're anxious about Sloan. She’s a sweet but very shy girl, and couldn’t make any friends during her years in kindergarten. You’re worried that such loneliness will harm her. You're a mess, and you've been aware of that since you decided to have Sloan. Over the years, you’ve tried to improve things to give your daughter the best possible life. But you're still the same oblivious and somewhat clumsy Laura Hollis of your university years. That has never stopped you from loving Sloan and wanting to do whatever it takes to make her happy. 

Perry is the director of the department of psychology at Silas Elementary School. Knowing Sloan’s situation, Perry convinced you that it was a good idea to enroll her in her school so that she could observe and help with her socialization problems. The redhead has been your best friend since college, and you trusted her enough to accept the offer. When you finally get to the school, you head directly to the main office, and they informed you what happened: A third-year boy was bothering Sloan, and one girl in her class stood up for her by striking the boy. You talk to Perry trying to find out about the girl who defended your daughter. Perry confirms that she will take the problem personally so that the child isn’t disciplined more than what's necessary for her actions. She understands that it was provoked by the boy's behavior and tells you that she’ll make sure the boy leaves Sloan alone in future. Perry accompanies you to the room where the kids and their parents are. But halfway there, she receives an urgent call and has to direct you the rest of the way. She promises to call you that evening to discuss the incident and says goodbye with a hug as she always does. 

You quicken your steps. You know you have to get there as soon as possible to reassure your daughter so that she wouldn't feel guilty about what happened. That’s typical of your little girl; being such an introverted child, she gets very apprehensive with situations around her and always ends up blaming herself for anything bad that happens. When you enter the room, you realize that you’ve been running to get there. You open the door in such a rush that you almost collide with everything in your path. You feel the stares of the group of people already there and that paralyzes you. But you can’t help but gawk at the most beautiful woman you've ever seen in your whole life. Intriguing and beautiful.

You cut the staring when you feel your cheeks getting redder than Perry’s hair and run awkwardly to the desk where your daughter is sitting. Your first instinct is to embrace her tenderly. Sloan returned the hug as tears begin to run down her cheeks, and you try to wipe them away. 

“I'm sorry, Mom,” she sobbed. 

“Sloan, this is not your fault. Are you okay? What did that kid say to you?” 

“The usual stuff.” 

You see your daughter sink deeper into despondency. During her years in kindergarten, there were some incidents where the other kids insulted and taunted her because she preferred to read by herself rather than play with them. 

“Mom, it's my fault. I don’t want to Hayley to get into trouble.” 

Your daughter throws a peek at a small girl with curly blonde hair seated at the front of the room. You feel it’s like looking at your younger self in a mirror. She’s smaller than your daughter, and it amuses you a little that she still stood up for Sloan by beating up a boy that was much bigger than her. When you turn to look at him, you think for a moment that you’d be afraid of him too, but she wasn’t. She stood up for her friend. 

“Everything will be fine, Sloan. This isn’t your fault, honey. We’ll help Hayley so that everything goes well for her.” 

“Mom…” Your daughter takes another deep breath as if the situation had the best of her. You see her debating whether to tell you more, but you nod to give her the courage to say what else is on her mind.

“Hayley said she was my friend. She told her mother that. I don’t want the only girl who ever wanted to be my friend getting into trouble because of me.” 

You melt. You go back to hug your daughter and look again at the little blonde playing now and trying to place her feet on the desk, frowning when she fails. You smile. There's something about that girl that makes you want to hug her. 

“Sloan, none of this is your fault. I promise that everything will be okay. You and Hayley are going to be great friends.” 

Looking to the back of the room, you see a raven-haired woman arguing with the child's mother while the father looks entertained without making any comment. Typical son of an irresponsible father and a doting mother, you think. 

“I think your son owes an apology to my daughter,” you say, interrupting the conversation. 

“Rudolph doesn’t owe an apology to anyone, he deserves an apology for being stuck.” 

“Hayley was just defending my daughter from your rude son!” 

You feel the eyes of the raven-haired on you while you blush again. You don’t know how you can focus properly when you look at or face the boy's mother. 

When the woman rants defending her son and insinuates that your daughter brought it on herself by her behavior, you explode. You know that children pick up many of their ignorant opinions from their parents. Intolerance is something that is taught at home, and it is clear that you will not let anyone insult your daughter or take her down just for being different. 

“Oh, I will not allow you…” you say while you point at her with your index finger menacingly. It’s not that you're usually in favor of violence, but the intransigence of this woman tries your patience. 

You’re usually a very placid person unless people mess with the ones you love. Especially if it’s your daughter. But your mind can not process what you were going to say next because you feel a hand gripping your wrist. The contact is firm, yet gentle. You return your gaze to the owner of the hand and focus on her eyes again. They are a deep brown, penetrating yet warm. Her skin is as pale as your daughters, and like her, she has black hair that makes it look even more so. It's like looking at Sloan when she grows up. You hope your daughter will be as beautiful as this woman when she gets older. You look back down at her hand holding your wrist and back again to her serious face. Serious, but also friendly. 

At this point, you know your face is redder than it’s ever been. You're stunned when you manage to hear her voice clearly for the first time. Everything she says indicates self-confidence, and it’s almost as if you felt protected by it. The woman offers the mother’s child a truce. Hayley apologizes to him if he apologizes to Sloan. You're not happy that the child will get away with just an apology, but it feels like the best deal for Hayley to save her from getting into trouble. You promised your daughter she wouldn’t, but you still think it’s unfair. 

You go back to Sloan, finding that she has the hood over her head again. She does that whenever she wants to isolate herself from the world. You can’t help thinking that this experience will make her problems worse, but you hope that Hayley still wants to be friends with her at least. You look at the small blonde child apologize and immediately the other child drags his feet over to Sloan to offer a false apology to your daughter. Sloan just nods while you roll your eyes at the child's insincerity. Yes, your little girl is definitely much more mature than you are. The child and his parents finally leave.

You want to thank Hayley and her mother for defending Sloan, so you walk towards them with your daughter in hand. You can’t help but smile at the pair. You think for a minute that the woman smiles back but within seconds her face is expressionless. Maybe she's upset because her daughter has gotten into trouble because of Sloan? You hope she doesn’t want to stop their budding friendship. You speak to Hayley first.

“Thank you very much for defending Sloan.” 

“It’s okay, Sloan’s mom. She's my friend, and I will always defend her.” 

Definitely, your heart melts again at this moment because of this girl, and you want her to be part of Sloan’s life. You will not let her leave your daughter’s life. 

You chat with Hayley, and she introduces her mother, Carmilla, who remains silent. Apparently, she’s a publicist. Interestingly, she doesn’t mention a father or partner. 

What are you even thinking of, Laura! You scold yourself. 

The raven-haired woman is as silent as your daughter, and you find yourself chatting with the little blonde as if you had known her for years. The familiarity of this girl hits you, and you can’t take your eyes off her. You keep talking with Hayley but glance sidelong at her mother. She remains still but looks away from you. When she puts her hand on her daughter's shoulder, you feel the urge to make them stay a little longer. So you finally introduce yourself to her, holding out your hand to feel a firm grip. Firm and cozy. You hear her voice and try to not close your eyes from sheer delight. 

Fortunately, Hayley distracts you when she walks to Sloan to give her a hug. And yes, more than ever, you really want the little blonde to be part of your daughter's life. You return your gaze to the raven-haired woman. You feel a chill when you notice that your hands are still clasped. Carmilla seems to be embarrassed for the first time, and you feel that the security and self-assuredness in her voice suddenly becomes nonexistent.  
Hayley takes your daughter to see pictures of her pet away from the pair of you. Both of you remain silent Feeling your legs tremble at being left alone with her… with Carmilla, you find a convenient desk to lean against.

“Really, thank you so much.” 

The silence is broken when the words come out of your mouth. You don’t know why but you feel really nervous being left alone with Carmilla. 

You pray to the gods that she doesn’t notice and realize what an idiot you are. It takes a few moments before you feel more confident with Carmilla, and you tell her that Sloan has trouble making friends. 

The publicist remains as quiet as ever; she nods but keeps a watchful eye on the dynamic between your daughter and hers. 

You can hear Hayley’s laugh and see how your little girl smiles at her. A smile, you think. Sloan smiled with Hayley, and that's not something she allows herself to do with anyone but you. Your heart swells a little thinking about the possibility that the blonde could help Sloan out of her shell. 

“You know Sloan told me that Hayley had said she was her friend. Your daughter is an angel,” you say to Carmilla.

Both of you watch the two girls interacting as if they had known each other all their lives. You can almost see a friendship blooming like Lafontaine and Perry’s at that age. 

If someday they would happen to fall in love like your friends, you wouldn’t have any problem with that. You feel you can trust your daughter with Hayley.

It's risky to speculate so early, you know, but you're used to making up such scenarios in your mind. 

Hayley has managed to remove the hoodie from Sloan’s head and keeps your daughter in a close embrace. You feel some jealousy because Sloan looks as comfortable with Hayley as she does with you. But you banish that thought because you know it's silly and you’re grateful that Hayley can do something so easily for your daughter that’s taken you years to achieve. Unable to stop smiling at them, you ask Carmilla would she allow Hayley be friends with your little girl. You don’t know if the women will accept. You’re still afraid that the closed off expression on her face is because Hayley got into trouble by standing up for Sloan. But you can’t let your daughter miss this opportunity to have her first real friend. 

Carmilla seems to agree. You can’t remember her exact words because you are so focused on looking at her lips when she finally spoke after such a long silence.

Not that you've been looking at her lips this whole time. No, not at all.

Carmilla goes on to say something like “We should hook up" and "call me" combined in a sentence that makes your face feel as warm as the late summer heat. Carmilla rectifies her sentence, and you don’t know whether to laugh or feel disappointed at the correction. 

Laura Hollis, get it together! 

But you still feel that it’s warmer inside that room than it should be, compared to the school yard in the sunshine. You fan your face as subtly as you can to cover up your embarrassment and slowly swallow because suddenly your mouth feels completely dry. 

“Thank you. You don’t know what that means for me… well, for Sloan and me.” 

Now you’re the one correcting yourself. You hope Carmilla doesn’t notice your awkwardness and the fact that you’re a bundle of nerves right now. 

When Carmilla finally tells Hayley that they have to leave, and you do the same with Sloan, you thank her again for her little girl's good deed. 

She responds with a funny comment about the bullies' name that makes you drop one of your silly laughs. You’re suddenly ashamed that this sophisticated woman has heard you laugh so childishly, but you can’t help it. Carmilla does not react in any way to your laughter. But at least she doesn’t act as condescendingly as the boy and his family. 

So it’s progress. You think. 

When you’re outside the school, Hayley hugs your daughter again, and you can almost feel Sloan trying to hold onto her. 

The blonde comes up to you and gives you the same loving act. You receive her with open arms. 

You listen to Carmilla praising Sloan’s musical taste, and you see a shy smile on the face of Sloan that seems to make it glow. It’s strange the way this woman has made your daughter smile when she has never met her before today. Nobody else had ever achieved that. 

Your heart jumps like crazy when you look at Carmilla and notice how she also has a smile to share with your daughter. She smiles indeed, you think. And it is the sincerest smile you've seen in a woman in years. Sincere and beautiful. You do not understand the reason why, but you have to see and to feel Carmilla again. So you girl the hell up and extend your hand to shake hers.

 

“It has really been a pleasure,” you say. 

“A real pleasure,” Carmilla replies with the same smile on her lips, and you're two seconds from passing out right there. 

You take Sloan's hand and walk towards your car to make the journey home. Before you reach it, you turn around for a last look and see the other couple walking away from you. You find yourself smiling again. 

 

This has definitely been a very special day.


	3. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla has an appointment at the school counselor’s office.
> 
> But so does Laura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OFL Friday!
> 
> First of all, thank you dear creampuffs for the kudos and your comments :) You're the best!
> 
> Also, know this fic is going to be a shared POV between Carmilla's and Laura's and from this chapter henceforward, chapters are going to jump from one to another. I will writing the name of the character tho, so you can know who's POV is. 
> 
> I'm saying this (and tagging it) because someone told me it wasn't their thing on my spanish version, so I thought you should know this in advance just in case you feel the same way. 
> 
> Again, I'm the luckiest girl because my dear beta Niall work is amazing. Thanks to him this can be read. 
> 
> Have a nice weekend creampuffs! 
> 
>  
> 
> Love!
> 
> Mckie.

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

You’re dealing with a client when Elsie reminds you that you need to leave if you want to make it on time to your meeting with the school counselor. So you wrap up everything as quickly as you can to make the appointment on time.

 

When you arrive, Will is sitting outside the office, absorbed in whatever’s on his cell phone. He’s probably sending messages to his latest fling, you think. Beside him, Hayley is reading a book that you recognize as Kipling’s _The Jungle Book._ Ever since she was a baby, it’s been one of her favorite books, and she enjoys it even more when you read it to her at bedtime.

 

You sit next to Will after hugging and kissing your daughter. He’s still completely focused on whatever’s happening on his mobile, and you have no intention of interfering with his fun. Besides, you don’t want to disturb your daughter’s reading, so you take out your own phone and start reviewing the emails from the office. 

 

More changes have been requested for the last tourism campaign, two customers have sent you feedback on proposed projects, and there’s some artwork that needs to be amended. That one you decide to take responsibility for, as you can’t trust your subordinates to do that properly. 

 

You’re still going through your emails when you the office door opens, and you hear a voice that sends a shiver down your spine.

 

“Thank you very much, Perry. Please don’t forget the barbecue this weekend. Danny is excited about the new grill. I think she even purchased an apron and a chef's hat. Tell LaF we hope to have some of their infamous sangria. You can’t miss it.”

 

“Of course, we’ll be there, dear. Goodbye, Sloan.” 

 

You try not to watch the participants in the conversation because that's rude. 

 

Staring at people for so long is impolite, especially when you probably look like you want to eat the very talkative little blonde. It’s extremely bad manners, you tell yourself. 

 

You try to stop, but you’re failing miserably. Fortunately, the blonde is facing away from you and doesn’t notice.

 

Sloan walks away from the redhead and over to Hayley who had waved her over to sit beside her. When she does, Hayley begins to read whatever page she was on to Sloan.Sloan smiles shyly at you watching her for a second. 

 

You can almost feel her confusion at all the information that your daughter is imparting to her. 

 

She looks a little different, maybe a little less withdrawn. You’re glad that Hayley can make her feel more at ease.

 

“Hayley, come in, please,” says the redhead, while watching the office wall-clock and trying to cut off the flow of talk from her friend.

 

“Sorry Perry, I see you’re very busy. But I’ll see you at the weekend,” says the blonde, giving the psychologist a parting hug.

 

Will and you get up from your seats and follow Hayley to the office. She placed the book in her backpack after hugging Sloan goodbye. 

 

Now you find yourself facing the blonde, and you try not to look as pleased as you feel at meeting her again. Pleased and happy.

 

You freeze because the blonde seems to be just as glad to see you and smiles in the way that only she seems to know how. You wonder if it’s the afternoon heat that’s making her cheeks look scarlet.

 

“Carmilla," smiles Laura, and you try to pretend that you’re unaffected by the way that your name sounds when it slips from her lips.

 

That your heart does not jump like it wants to spring out of your chest, or that your hands aren’t sweating almost as much as the first time you held your daughter.

 

“Hi, Laura,” says Hayley, coming forward to talk to her before you can say anything.

 

“Hi there, Hay. How have you been? Are you still playing basketball with your mom’s friends?”

 

“Ha! Friends?” says Will suddenly in a mocking tone. 

 

Will is still distracted by his mobile, but he could never pass up the chance to make light of the word "friends" where you’re concerned. 

 

You sigh because you know he will make another snarky comment but thankfully his current fling has sent him another message, and he focuses his attention on his phone again.

 

“I haven’t, because I’m grounded, so I’m not allowed to go to the agency to play,” replies Hayley sadly. “I’m also not supposed to hit anyone ever again. Mom says it wasn’t bad to defend Sloan, but it was to hit Rudolph. I think she's right. Nothing should be fixed like that.”

 

Laura looks like her heart just melted, and her reaction causes you to feel the same. It's like a chain reaction, and you don’t even know why. 

 

You try to get yourself together, grateful that Will is so engrossed in his cell than he doesn’t witness what’s happening right in front of him.

“What a pity, Hay. Hopefully, being grounded will be over soon, and you can come to visit our home to play with Sloan. Right, S? We wanted to invite you, but some important things came up at work, and I haven’t had time to prepare something for you to do with us. But I'm sure your mom can make an exception to your punishment and let you come visit us soon.” 

 

“Right, Carm?” she suddenly says to you.

 

“I…”You’re struck dumb. These two blondes mess with your mind every time they get together; because they can speak far quicker than your brain can process.

 

Wait. Laura just called you ‘Carm.’

 

Of course, your stupid heart starts to flutter inside your chest. How can she call you by this endearing and loving nickname when it’s just your second encounter? And now you have a blond duo in front of you with puppy dog eyes watching you as if they had been lost and starving in the woods, and you had the tastiest steak in the world in your hands.

 

“We'll see,” you finally manage to say after clearing your suddenly very dry throat.

 

Someone else clears their throat, and you see that the redhead is trying to lead you into her office. 

 

Your daughter gives Laura a hug and runs into the room. 

 

Will raise his eyes and for the first time seems to notice the blonde. Of course, his gaze sweeps over her from head to toe and back again. He says nothing, thank the gods, and enters the office while the redhead is waiting for you to enter as well. But you don’t, so she goes inside and leaves the door open to wait until you’re ready.

 

“Well, I think I have to go. I suspect I'm going to be more schooled than Hayley. I feel as if my mother’s going to scold me for playing in the rain,” you say.

 

Laura seems to find this hilarious and laughs out loud. God, that beautiful laughter should be prohibited by law.

 

“I hope we can get together to arrange the playdate soon,” says Laura when she finally stops.

 

“Yes, we should definitely hook up soon.” You close your eyes and mentally face palm yourself. 

 

You did it again. ‘We should hook up.’ Honestly, Karnstein? Not that you are opposed to the idea but ... No! What the hell's going through your mind? Stop.

 

“Like, schedule the play date, I mean,” you try again.

 

Judging by the crimson cheeks of Laura, you realize the blonde may not have been averse to the idea either. You smile to yourself.

 

The blonde looks sadly at you when she extends her hand to say goodbye. And there’s that electricity traveling your whole body again.

 

“We should definitely hook up soon,” she says with a smile.

 

Was that flirting? No. You refuse to believe that Laura intended to make an innuendo like that.

 

Before you finally head to the office, you turn your attention towards Sloan.

 

“The Misfits? Kiddo, you certainly have one of the best musical tastes I've ever seen,” you say as you bend down to get eye level with her.

 

Sloan lifts her eyes to meet yours and returns the smile on your face. You give her knee a friendly squeeze before you make your way to the school psychologists office. But not before exchanging a look with Laura that leaves her with one those bright smiles that you’re starting to love.

 

 

**Laura**  

 

 

You don’t have enough time in the day to take care of Sloan properly. But you’re grateful to have Danny in your life because you honestly don’t know what you’d do without her. 

 

The scandal with the Prime Minister has become a media circus, and as your channel was the first to break the story, this has made you even busier than usual. For the past two weeks, if you ever manage to see your daughter, she’s barely awake after her bath, and you need to put her to bed. Sometimes she’s not even awake when you arrive home.It shouldn’t be like this. You want to be there for her more than you are, but you're also aware that your work plays an important part in your life. But you knew what you were getting into when you decided to take the new position. However, nothing can ever replace those moments that you lose with Sloan.

 

“How was your day, Hollis?”

 

“Fine, I guess,” you sigh.

 

“You guess?” replies Danny from the kitchen where she’s cooking dinner. 

 

You take a seat across from her. The kitchen is another place where you’re a disaster. It's definitely not your thing.

 

“Danny, do you think I'm a bad mother?” you ask, tentatively.

 

“Laura, what are you talking about? You’re making halves of yourself to be with Sloan as much as you can. You're always aware of her needs and never miss any of her special occasions. You do everything you can to make her happy. Personally, I still don’t understand why she was so glad that you got her the complete Sex Pistols discography on vinyl. But she looked so thrilled when she received it for her for her birthday. There’s not a day that you don’t tell Sloan that you love her and not a day you don’t prove it to her.”

 

You smile shyly because you know that at least that much is true. You do everything possible to make your daughter happy even though you don’t always understand her. Nothing will stop you from trying to please her. Even if you had to raise Jim Morrison from the dead, you would do it if Sloan asked you.

 

“I know, it's just that sometimes I wish I could spend more time with her. I’d love to have a Time-Turner or Tardis so that I could be in two places at once.”

 

“You're such a nerd, Hollis,” replies Danny, giving you a funny look. You stick out your tongue at her in response for mocking you.

 

“Thanks, Danny. I really don’t know what I’d do without you.”

 

“Anytime, Laura.” Danny gives you a warm look at the same time putting a bowl of her famous ‘Pasta Lawrence’ in front of you. It’s your favorite, so you don’t say anything else. 

 

You let your taste buds tingle with delight with what the redhead prepared and take a break from your thoughts. 

 

Some days later, you find yourself outside Perry’s office. Sloan has an appointment with her to work on her socialization problems. As the minutes pass, you begin recalling the past few weeks. Since the bullying incident, you’ve been snowed under with work, and you didn’t have time to schedule the playdate with Hayley or her mother. Above all, you want to talk to Carmilla again. Not that you were thinking about the way she looked when you were talking to her daughter. Or how soft her hands felt when they held yours.

 

_Hollis, enough! You are at your child's school. Stop thinking about those things_.

 

Fortunately, Perry peeks through the door and asks you to come inside to speak with you and Sloan. 

 

When the appointment is over, and you leave the office, you remind Perry about the barbecue that weekend at your home. Danny has tried for months to get you to agree to have your friends over for this. She wants to try her culinary arts on the grill, and you finally yielded to her request.

 

Perry interrupts your rambling, and when you turn, you see Hayley and Carmilla are waiting. But this time, there’s a man accompanying them. You get a heavy feeling in your stomach. Hayley's dad, you think. Typical. It was too good to be true. You smile anyway because no matter what, Hayley still makes you want to hug her… and Carmilla ... maybe she makes you feel the same. 

 

_Husband in sight_ , you remind yourself, and you curb your stupid daydream.

 

But at least you can still enjoy the view in front of you. So you greet her by name, hoping that will settle you.

 

Hayley greets you back, and you try to focus on the words coming out of the little girl. You ask about her basketball games with Carmilla’s friends, only to be interrupted by the man.

 

“Ha! Friends?” He barely glances up from his phone because the beeping sound of a message catches his attention. He seems to be one of those parents that are focused on their work and don’t spend any time with their children. You pray to heaven that you never get to that state. Also, Carmilla looks distressed with the comment of her... husband? 

 

Hayley's voice interrupts your thoughts as she tells you about being grounded for her actions in defending your daughter. You give her a sympathetic smile, and you melt at the little blonde’s mature speech.

 

You mention the playdate again while putting on your best innocent face to convince Carmilla to lessen Hayley’s punishment and it seems to work. You don’t even look at the father because you're sure he's so attached to his mobile that he’s not even aware of what’s going on around him. He’s obviously one of those parents.

 

Wait! Did you just call Carmilla, Carm?

 

Where did that come from, Hollis? 

 

Surely the husband noticed? 

 

Fortunately, he’s still engrossed with his mobile. That was close. 

 

Carmilla says the playdate plan still stands and you breathe a sigh of relief. Not that you want to see her again. Oh, who are you kidding? Of course, you want to see her, but you still think that Hayley is a very positive influence on your daughter and whatever makes Sloan happy, makes you happy. 

 

Especially if it includes seeing Carmilla again.

 

Perry clears her throat suddenly, and you remember why they’re there. 

 

Hayley embraces you as hard as she can and says goodbye to you before you leave the office. 

 

The man looks at you for the first time, and you almost feel like he’s devouring you with his eyes. 

 

_Asshole_ , you think. How dare to look at you like that in front of his ... wife? 

 

Especially when his wife is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen in your life. Hell, now if Carmilla was your wife ... 

 

_Enough!_

 

_“_ Well, I think I have to go. I suspect I'm going to be more schooled than Hayley. I feel as if my mother’s going to scold me for playing in the rain,” Carmilla says.

 

She points at Perry, and you can’t help but drop another laugh. Of course, you had to get in again with your stupid, ridiculous laugh. Well done, Laura. Ugh!

 

You try to change the subject so Carmilla wouldn’t have time to make fun of you and you bring up the playdate again. 

 

“We should definitely hook up soon,” you say. 

 

You can perceive how nervous the raven-haired woman gets at the implication of ‘hooking up’ with you and you can’t do anything but smile as you feel the warmth and color in your cheeks grow. 

 

_Of course, I would love to ‘hook up’ with you,_ you find yourself thinking.

 

Oh God, being so close to this woman makes you think the most awkward things in the world. 

 

She’s a married woman, and you feel excited when she agrees to ‘hook up.' God, Hollis you're hopeless. 

 

To your disappointment, Carmilla corrects her comment. Yeah, you're completely hopeless. But you have to feel Carmilla’s touch again. 

 

Your mind convinces you that you can have it as something platonic. So you extend your hand and say goodbye. When your hands grip hers, it feels comfortably familiar. It’s a firm pressure in your hand, but you almost feel the electricity surges through your body.

 

You say ‘we definitely should hook up’ and you don’t know where that bravery come from. You only hope Carmilla understands that you’re talking about the play date. She seems to anyway, and you feel relieved.

 

Carmilla goes on her way, but not before heading over to your daughter to praise her musical taste again. 

 

Your heart sinks a little when you see Sloan getting her attention. It seems that Carmilla is not sort of person who misses the little details, but always refers to the things your daughter wears. 

 

It surprised you ever since their first meeting at the way Carmilla seems to instinctively understand Sloan. Possibly much more than you do.

 

Sloan smiles in response, and you could die of happiness at that moment. It’s as if is there’s an aura around the pair that makes them understand each other with the bare minimum of words required.

 

You couldn’t be happier. Or maybe, you can when you notice the same smile on the face of Carmilla. 

 

God, that woman will be the death of you. 

 

Your daughter is still smiling at her.

 

You smile just because you can.

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

Finally, it's Friday. One of the things that you love the most about working in an advertising agency is when Friday comes because it’s customary to leave early. 

 

You have worked so hard during the week to have everything done so that you get out early to pick up Hayley from school. 

 

No wonder your team calls you Genghis Karnstein. It doesn’t bother you much. The work must be done perfectly. As far as you’re concerned, this generation knows nothing about responsibility and obligations.

 

When you're driving toward your child’s school, you think about the last time you were there and your encounter with Laura and Sloan. Thinking about the duo makes your heart beat faster.

 

It's strange how Sloan seemed to bond with you. You feel nostalgic every time you see her wearing a shirt from one of your favorite bands. You remember how hard it was for you to fit in with people and perceive something in Sloan that calls out to you. It’s not that you don’t empathize with your daughter, but you often disagree with her opinions. Or rather, how energetically she defends them.

 

This wanting to be friends with everyone is not a situation to which you're accustomed. Hayley has given you more trouble than you would ever want. Like the time she dragged you to that Harry Potter convention, wearing a full Ravenclaw outfit and you had to be around at least five hundred people holding brooms and dressed in wizard’s robes. But secretly you enjoyed seeing your daughter playing Quidditch with her new ‘friends.' Because the little blonde needs no more than two minutes to meet someone to call them that. 

 

Case in point, Sloan. 

 

After just one day, she was her best friend and had to defend her against the bully who dared to taunt her.

 

You can almost see your daughter striking the blow in the same way that Laura threatened his mother. Because seeing Laura in action is like watching your own daughter. She calls you ‘Carm’ when she barely knows you, which makes you smile.

 

When you arrive at school, you can see Hayley run out, with her hand in with Sloan’s. They’re becoming inseparable. Your smile remains on your face nourished by the friendship between your daughter and the tiny black haired girl.

 

Hayley hugs Sloan who smiles shyly without returning the hug. It doesn’t seem that Hayley minds much either way, you think. Before your daughter gets into the car, you see her greeting someone else, and you look to see who else she’s talking to.

 

To your surprise, you watch Laura returning the greeting and receiving Sloan with a sincere embrace, in the same way that your daughter said goodbye to her. Again, the little girl only welcomes the gesture and then receives another hug from a very, very, tall redhead who keeps her arm around her until they reach the car.

 

The smile that was on your lips for several minutes disappears. 

 

Laura and the redhead get into the car, one next to the other. They happily speak with Sloan and then exchange a couple of words between them. Laura laughs. She laughs like she does when you make your snarky remarks because you are close enough to hear her melodious laughter. 

 

But you’re not smiling anymore.

 

Laura has a wife, a girlfriend, or whatever who makes her laugh like that.

 

_Damn it!_

 

 


	4. Totally unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura finally gets to spend some time with her friends. But while expecting a relaxing but dull Saturday after weeks of hard work, instead she receives some unexpected news.
> 
> Meanwhile, Carmilla is stuck in the office trying to catch up on work and wishing she was anywhere else. 
> 
> Especially as she’s not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whaaaaaat?!
> 
> Two chapters in a row again?! 
> 
> Well, thank to the best beta EVER! Niall told me this two chapters should be post together so I thought that was a great idea! 
> 
> Enjoy. 
> 
>  
> 
> Love!
> 
>  
> 
> Mckie.

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

It’s Saturday and your first free weekend in ages. But you still had to get up very early to prepare everything for the barbecue. Cleaning and tidying up your home isn’t much fun though. I

 

It’s not as if your place needs an intervention from Perry, but it was about time to impose some order on the chaotic mess in your house.

 

Danny is outside in the backyard, preparing to light the grill. It’s one of the redhead’s great passions, and you realize again how lucky you are to have her in your life. Especially as you have no idea how to even light a match.

 

"Danny, I don’t think I've seen you this excited about something since that time the Summers defeated the Zetas in the Great Pizza Battle.”

 

"Leave me alone, Hollis. You know you love my food.”

 

"Oh, yes. I’d never deny that.”

 

Danny sticks her tongue out in response while pouring so much flammable liquid over the grill that you’re not sure whether she wants to light it or burn down your house.

 

Sloan is still in her room reading her new book, the same one that she asked you to buy her after the session with Perry. That was the day that you saw Carmilla again. There’s no need to keep thinking about it, but it was still something that happened. "The Jungle Book" now seems to be Sloan’s new favorite book. She had let it slip that it was also Hayley's favorite.

 

You don’t want to pressurize your daughter into leaving her room, at least not until the guests arrive. You have learned over the years how Sloan works.

 

Some hours later, your house is full with five red-heads and one tall brunette.

 

Perry and Lafontaine have been together for years. They met as children, and it was no surprise to anyone when they finally became a couple during their college years. Months after their graduation, they decided to get married. Their children are one year older than Sloan, and although they get along together, they have never really bonded with each other.

 

Laf and Perry’s children were twins and redheads (obviously). Perry allowed Laf to name them and they chose Darwin and Jean after the famous biologists. 

 

Although they began raising them as non-binary, within years the children were defining themselves. Perry and Laf never put them under any pressure and always accepted their wishes in this regard.

 

The three of you met in college, and have been inseparable ever since, through the most difficult moments and the happiest ones in your lives.

 

Sloan finally leaves her room to greet everyone. But it isn’t long before she decides to sit on one of the swings in the backyard and continue reading as the other two kids run energetically around her.

 

Even with all these people, you find yourself thinking how different it would be if Hayley were there. How wonderful it would be if the small blonde and her mother were there with you.

 

Immediately you realize you’re kidding yourself. Not because of Hayley, but because Carmilla is obviously a married woman. She was accompanied to the meeting with Perry, and even if they aren’t married, you have to assume that he must be Hayley's father at least. 

 

“Laura. Are you okay?" says Danny, trying to catch your attention.

 

Even though there’s a party going on around you, you’re still lost in thought. All you can think of is Carmilla.

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

"I'm bored!”

 

"Hayley, I have just to update some files, and I'm all yours for the weekend.”

 

"But I'm bored now!”

 

"Why don’t you go to the play room while I'm working in my office, Cupcake?”

 

“There’s no one here! That's boring. When there's nobody here, I can’t play or score baskets because I’m too small, and I can’t reach. No one else is here to help. You never want to play basketball with me.”

 

Your daughter has a point. You're a mess as it comes to sports. You never found any satisfaction running after a ball without something to motivate you. Baskets, goals, touchdowns, pitches; you don’t know what those terms mean. It’s doubtful whether you’d be able to tell one sport from another if Will wasn’t so fond of them.

But he’s not available this weekend. 

 

Despite what everyone thinks, including you sometimes, your brother actually has a job. He works as an attorney in one of the country’s top law firms. However, you have no idea how successful he'd be if your mother weren't the owner of the law firm where he works.

 

Your older sister Mattie and Will are in charge off a major case that has kept him out of town for the past few days. Apparently, the Prime Minister’s office has been involved in some shady business, and they’ve taken on the services of your mother's company.

 

“I’M BORED!”

 

Your daughter is usually well behaved except when she’s like this. If she can’t find something interesting to do, she becomes a real pain in the ass.

 

“I’M BOOORED!”

 

You breathe deeply.

 

If there’s one thing that Hayley has taught you in all the years that you’ve had her, it’s patience.

 

Not that you bother using it with anyone else. She’s the only one that you don’t feel like killing when your patience runs out.

 

“I AM SO BOOOOOREEEEED!”

 

You count to ten. You keep searching for files on your computer, trying to ignore your daughter’s antics. You know that the more attention she gets, the more you’ll lose your equanimity. You breathe again.

 

You and Hayley normally spend the weekends together unless you have an emergency in the office, like today. You try to fulfill all her wishes. If the Harry Potter convention didn’t prove how much you love her, perhaps trips to the zoo, to camps or the beach would or even Dr. Who marathons would suffice.

 

Especially Dr. Who which you hate even more than Harry Potter. But because it’s Hayley you’d tolerate even that to make her happy.

 

Sometimes you wonder when you let this blonde take over your life. But you already know the answer. It’s been ever since you held her in your arms for the first time and you got lost in her brown eyes. Eyes as deep brown as Laura’s.

 

_Really, Karnstein? Are you daydreaming about the mother of your daughter’s best friend while you’re supposed to be working?_

 

“IIII AAAMMM SOOO BOOOOOREEEEEEED!”

 

You find yourself wondering what would happen if Laura and Sloan were there too for all the places and conventions Hayley drags you to. Or if you were at the beach, you’d imagine that the two blondes would run together between the waves while playing and chasing each other on the beach. Meanwhile, you and Sloan would sit on the shore reading together and listening to The Doors. You sigh.

 

_Seriously?_ Yes, because now you sigh when you think about Laura. Of course, it’s useless to indulge any thoughts you have about this beautiful woman. She's a married woman. She went to pick up Sloan with another woman by her side, and they looked too familiar with each other to just be friends. Sloan seemed to know her well. Laura is unavailable.

 

“I’M GONNA DIE FROM BOREDOM!”

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

The party takes goes well, and when night falls, the children go to the living room to watch a Harry Potter marathon. It’s not that the adult conversation is dull, but you’d prefer to be inside watching your favorite movies rather than being outside talking with your friends. It’s supposed to be your free day, and you don't want to think about the weeks of madness ahead of you with the ongoing scandal at the Prime Minister’s office.

 

You can see your daughter lying down on the floor with Laf and Perry’s kids, but Sloan isn’t paying any attention to the screen. She’s still absorbed in her book. You could never get your daughter to share your enthusiasm for J.K. Rowling’s books. Not even a couple of years ago when you tried to make her believe in magic with an experiment that Lafontaine taught you.

 

So you’re stuck on the porch instead with your friends, bored with the adult conversation.

 

Perry is talking about how hard it is to keep children well-behaved at school if their parents don’t put any limits on their behavior at home. 

 

Lafontaine is annoyed on how difficult it is to get permission to do experiments after they blew up the laboratory for the third time this month.

 

Kirsch is trying to prove that being a teacher of physical education in high school is harder than trying to convince a Summer to accept a compliment without believing it to be a macho demonstration of suppression that women have suffered for too long under the yoke of men.

 

Danny is arguing Kirsch’s point and adding that it is harder to be an English Literature teacher at the University. Young people today don’t read anything. Or write. According to the redhead, Shakespeare spins in his grave every time her students hand up an atrociously spelled essay.

 

Typical adult conversations in which you are not remotely interested.

 

"Who wants more of Lafontaine’s Super Special Sangria?”

 

"Honey, I think you’ve had enough.”

 

"It’s okay Perr, I have my favorite designated driver.”

 

"Then stop encouraging everyone else to drink more.”

 

"Honey, the kids need to have fun. Look at Laura’s face, it seems she haven’t heard that word in years.”

 

Lafontaine rises to prepare a pitcher of their special drink, and you laugh at the couple’s dynamic. Albeit it’s at the expense of making fun of you. You try to resist their teasing, but you’ve never could accomplish it.

 

"I know what fun is!”

 

"A Harry Potter marathon on a Saturday night is the perfect definition of fun for Laura,” replies Danny, joining in on the teasing.

 

Great, now everyone’s making fun of your boring life.

 

“Hey, little nerd! You have to look for more adult fun!”

 

"Honey, I almost never agree with Wilson, but this time he is right,” says Perry.

 

"We're old enough for those kinds of things. We have children now, and they are our fun, Kirsch."

 

"Laura, I also agree with you on that, but life is more than work and children," replies Perry.

 

“ I bet Laura would be having fun if her mysterious broody crush were here,” says Danny.

 

You look at Danny stunned, wondering where she got that idea. 

 

Actually, you do know. 

 

You haven’t stopped talking about Carmilla since you met her.

 

Starting with the day that you met, you spoke on the phone with Danny about what had happened at school with Sloan. You told her about this amazing blonde girl who had defended your daughter during one of the breaks, but somehow it had ended with you telling her about the girl’s mother. You spoke about how her hair fell like a silky cascade over her shoulders and easy it was to get lost in her eyes.

 

There was even a description of the way her skin seemed to shine in the sunlight and how her smile made you forget everything else existed, except for her because in the end only she existed.

 

The following days were no different. You told Danny about the uncanny resemblance between Sloan and Carmilla, not only physically, but in their mannerisms. It was almost as if Sloan was Carmilla’s daughter. It was in the way they shared similar gestures like the way they breathed deeply as if everything around them was out of reach or how they raised one eyebrow and looked at you intensely while searching for an understanding of the world around them.

 

The day when you came back to find Carmilla outside Perry’s office was mentioned and how easy it was to make her laugh with just one comment. Or the tender side of Carmilla when she approached your daughter to compliment her on her shirt. Or the way her hand was so warm and soft like an angels. Because yes, when you put your mind to it, you can get into that writer mode that can almost create poetry, not that you have to strive too hard because everything about Carmilla is a poem by itself. 

 

Boom! Eat your heart out, Pablo Neruda. You’re just an amateur compared to the great Laura Hollis!

 

Then there was the day before the party when you had taken time off from all the craziness at work. Danny had finished her classes, and she was to take care of Sloan for the whole afternoon. So, when you called to invite Danny to have lunch with both of you, she gladly accepted. Both of you just had to pick your daughter up from school and go to your favorite restaurant. 

 

When Sloan left the building, she was running with Hayley while holding her hand, something that your little girl never did by herself. Your devotion to the blonde overwhelmed you, and you waved hello to the girl. As you followed her with your eyes, you saw her approaching a car where you recognized the woman of your dreams. You sighed, because every time you see her, you sigh. You gave your daughter a hug and Danny did the same before letting her inside the car, while you ask how her day was. Danny made a silly comment about the color of your cheeks and your heart-eyes as her gaze followed yours. Her teasing ended when she declared that she understood everything.

 

"Mysterious broody crush?" Perry asks. 

 

You laugh. But it’s too loud and nervous to fool anyone.

 

You’re embarrassed to find all eyes on you. It is definitely the last time you talk to Danny about something, no matter how many years of friendship there are between you. She can forget about it forever after putting you in this situation.

 

"It's nothing. I met a woman who caught my attention. No big deal.”

 

You try to make the issue seem very reasonable. Anyway, it’s not like Carmilla and you could ever have anything together.

 

"Where? How? Laura, darling, you have to tell us all the details!” Perry can’t contain her excitement. You almost feel like you’re back in college when you told her about your attraction to Danny.

 

"In your school.”

 

You decide to tell the truth because in the end, it doesn’t matter. Anyway, the woman you’re attracted is married or straight at least, and nothing will change that.

 

“What?"

 

You do not know if your friends agreed, but Perry and Kirsch shout in unison. Danny is still trying to stop laughing but fails miserably.

 

"Well, Perry, it’s Carmilla.”

 

"Hayley's mom?”

 

"That’s her. But I know that nothing will happen between us. For starters, I know it's silly because I've only met her twice and to hope for something more is the stupidest thing I could think of.”

 

You say this while trying not to be so disappointed about the fact that the woman you like has a husband.

 

"And why not?" asks Perry.

 

"Because I wouldn’t get involved with a married woman. My own life may be a mess, but I’d never mess with someone's marriage.” 

 

Perry throws you a look of utter bewilderment. Kirsch and Danny exchange glances.

 

"Honey, what are you talking about?”

 

"Carmilla and her husband. The man who accompanied her on the day of Hayley’s session.”

 

Perry looks at you like you just say the funniest joke in the world. She’s trying not to laugh at you, but like all your friends, she fails.

 

"Oh Laura, honey. Will is not Carmilla’s husband.”

 

“He’s Hayley’s dad?”

 

"No, he’s Hayley's uncle. Will is Carmilla’s brother.”

 

You feel your jaw drop. You had been sure that the man with Carmilla and Hayley was related to them but never imagined he was her brother. Or maybe if you had stopped to look past him being an asshole, you’d had noticed the similarities the siblings share. Better yet, how different the blonde was in comparison to them. Anyway, it could be that Carmilla's husband was unable to attend the meeting and went with her brother instead. So you think it's better that you don’t get your hopes up.

 

"Well anyway, a woman like her wouldn’t be single. Surely Carmilla must have a husband?”

 

"What Carmilla?”

 

Lafontaine has returned with a pitcher of sangria in each hand, totally lost by the conversation.

 

"Carmilla Karnstein.” Perry is still laughing, and so are Danny and Kirsch. 

 

You wish the ground would open up and swallow you. _Karnstein?_ You did not even know what her last name was. Carmilla Karnstein.

 

"Hold on. Carmilla Karnstein? Carmilla, Carmilla?" asks Laf, giggling while serving drinks to everyone.

 

"I don’t think we know any other Carmilla, honey.”

 

"LaF, you know Carmilla?" you ask them, intrigued.

 

"Carmilla and I attended the same high school. We were even ‘friends’ for a couple of years if you could call it that. When we started college in Silas, each of us went our separate ways.”

 

_Well, tonight is full of surprises,_ you think.

 

"And Laura ... she can’t have a husband. Carmilla Karnstein is the gayest person I know.”

 

Did you think that your jaw couldn’t drop any further? Wrong, Hollis.

 

Undoubtedly, the night has given you more than you expected. 

 

Something totally unexpected.

 

 

 


	5. Sighs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla receives some interesting phone calls. 
> 
> Danny gives Laura some good advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OFL Friday! ;)
> 
> Carmilla is a dork. That's all I'm gonna say today. 
> 
>  
> 
> Love. 
> 
> Mckie

 

 

**Carmilla**

  
  


 

 

It’s getting late, and you’re still stuck in your office watching the sun gradually set. 

 

At this hour, you’d much prefer to be at home watching Netflix with your daughter rather than being stuck working at your office. Even if you had to go through the sheer torture of watching one of those films of the boy-wizard with the scar on his forehead and his battle with ‘He Who Must Not Be Named.' You've never quite understood why no one could say his name.Voldemort! That’s all it is, it’s not that difficult.

 

You enjoy your job, maybe you even love it. It would be the best job in the world if you didn't have to deal with some of the imbecilic clients. 

 

A campaign that had been accepted a couple of months ago has been put on hold because the new CEO of Dentifrice wanted to make some last-minute adjustments. Sometimes you think they are determined to ruin your life just for the fun of it.

 

"I think you and me should go for a drink to relax after all this mess," says Elsie, working beside you on the commercial sequences that were already published.

 

"Elsie, I thought I made it clear that there’s never going to be anything between you and me. To start with, I'm your boss; I could get fired for that alone. Not to mention that I have no interest in having a relationship with you.”

 

"It seems that you didn’t say the same to Miss I'm-too-blonde-to-have-brains that appeared in the jeans’ advertising campaign last month," she responds angrily.

 

You curse yourself for the umpteenth time and wish you hadn’t been so drunk at that party that kissing Elsie seemed like a good idea. 

 

Maybe that's why you refuse to have a serious relationship with a woman. Why should you have to account for your time, or be pestered with questions about everything you do or who you spoke to or looked at that day? You don’t have time for petty relationship jealousies and insecurities.

 

You’ve already lived through that once.

 

"Are you insinuating that blondes are brainless? Do you even realize how ironic it is when that offensive remark includes you?" you answer with a smirk.

 

Elsie frowns and rolls her eyes at your reply and seems to back off. For now, anyway.

 

Your phone starts ringing, and you can see that it’s your house number. Elsie leaves the office after the interruption. 

 

“Karnstein."

 

"Why is it every time I call you, I feel like I'm talking to a drill sergeant?”

 

"What do you want, William? I have a lot of urgent work to do, so get to the point already.”

 

"Sir, yes Sir! Just calling to report that private Hayley has finished her homework, has had her bath and she is in the living room with me watching her favorite program, Sir.”

 

"You're really hilarious. Anything else?”

 

"Sir, yes Sir. I want to know if your ‘urgent work’ is real work or ‘work'?"

 

You can almost see the air quotes around the word. He’s trying to find out if you are in the office or with one of the models that you usually find in the commercial castings you organize.

 

He's an idiot, you know, but you couldn’t imagine your life without him. He has played an important part in raising Hayley, and although you’d never admit it, you are so grateful to him. When that tortuous event happened, Will did everything he could to help you through it, including moving closer to you to care for Hayley in your absence.

 

"It's real work, Will. Unlike you, some people have to actually work for a living.”

 

"Sir, yes Sir. I was just wondering how much longer it will take you, Lieutenant? I too have a lot of... 'work' tonight.”

 

"I’d be finished a lot quicker if my stupid brother wasn’t calling to rush me because he wants to sleep with his latest conquest.”

 

Will just laughs at your reply. He doesn’t even bother denying it.

 

"I'll be home in about an hour. Would that be convenient for you?" you ask.

 

You hate the way he falls in love so easily. Not that he's a child, but you're worried that your brother is a soft touch for every woman that he believes he’s in love with. Women always find one way or another to break his heart. Sometimes you think it’s like having a second child. Actually, it is because you practically raised him since your own childhood.

 

"Sir, yes Sir. That would be the perfect time.”

 

"Sometimes I don’t know how you can be such a Momma’s boy. Or now that I think about it, I get it. You're an idiot just like Dad was, and we know that Mother has an inherent attraction to idiots.”

 

"Carmilla, can’t you just forget your hatred for our parents for one day in your life? Dad wasn’t an idiot, he just didn’t know what he wanted in life.”

 

"Oh, of course! Because leaving a woman with three children when you realized you wanted to travel around the world to find yourself isn’t the most idiotic thing ever. But that certainly makes him the most irresponsible parent ever. You know what that did for him? Killed him while trying to ride a 30-foot wave in Hawaii!”

 

"Ok, I understand your hatred for irresponsible parents. Please, I don’t want to hear your speech about Mother again. I already know it by heart.”

 

You close your eyes and take a deep breath to calm the annoyance talking about your parents always causes you. It’s not that you hate them. Your dad was always good to you, playing and laughing; but you never forgave him when he decided to abandon your family. Perhaps Will was right, he was not an idiot, but your brother constantly reminds you of him. He was a child, a child like your brother. A child who never ceased to be one. And talking about your mother ... Best abort the conversation.

 

"Okay. I will finish up soon so that I can come home in time. Is that all?”

 

"Sir, yes Sir. No, wait! A woman rang for you too.”

 

"A woman?”

 

"A woman. She was looking for you. She said she was… Uhm… Slash's mom?”

 

“Sloan?"

 

Suddenly your heart is filled with hope. You realize that it can only be one woman. The woman that you have been secretly thinking about in recent weeks. The one who hasn’t left your mind since your first meeting. But then you remember something else. She’s a married woman! She can’t be looking for anything other than seeking your daughter's friendship for Sloan.

 

"That's right! Sloan. Where do they get those names for their children? Anyway, she said her name was Laura Hollis. She wanted to know if Hayley could visit her home this weekend to play with her daughter.”

 

"And what did you say?”

 

"Sir, I’d never make that decision for you, Sir! I told her that the Lieutenant had to answer that directly.”

 

Yes, your brother is definitely a child who hasn’t even got over puberty yet.

 

"Please tell me you didn’t use those words.”

 

You fear your brother's immaturity made you look as stupid as him, in Laura’s eyes. Laura Hollis. You sigh. Laura. 

 

Laura, the mother of your daughter's best friend, period. That’s all she is, Karnstein.

 

“Easy there, Kitty. I told her Hayley was still grounded.”

 

"Stop calling me that. So?”

 

"Well, I just don’t know what else she actually said because she speaks so fast, but all I could do was give her your mobile number and tell her she would have to talk directly with you.”

 

"Did you give her my personal number?”

 

"Yes. She’s the mother of a friend of Hayley, I didn’t think there was a problem. Is there?”

 

"None whatsoever.”

 

Laura has your phone number, but she hasn’t called you. Or maybe she has, and you're wasting your time with your useless brother. You start thinking about all the possibilities, like how it would be if Laura were single. Ugh! A woman like Laura could never be single. Anyway, if the woman you saw wasn’t her wife, she’s probably her girlfriend. Or whatever.

 

“Carmilla?"

 

“Huh?"

 

"You’ve gone quiet all of a sudden. Are you okay?”

 

“Yes."

 

"Monosyllabic now. Wait! Is she hot?”

 

“What?"

 

"Slash's mom.”

 

“Sloan!"

 

“Yeah, right. So, answer the question. She is hot, isn’t she?”

 

“Will, stop it! You’re talking about the mother of Hayley’s best friend. A woman who’s probably married. Will you just grow up!?”

 

"Ugh! All right. It’s just that you stayed silent when I said who she was and that I gave her your personal number.”

 

"I am trying to focus on finishing my work, and you’re delaying me. I will be leaving in half an hour, one way or the other. Goodbye, you dimwit.”

 

"Sir, yes sir. See you later!”

 

You hang up the phone. But you still can’t focus on anything, except Laura Hollis. At least, not until Elsie enters your office with more coffee in hand and you decide to return your attention to work.

  
  


 

 

**Laura**

  
  


 

 

"So, what did your mysterious broody lover say?”

 

"Nothing, Danny. I couldn’t talk to her because her brother Will answered the phone. Apparently, Carmilla had to work late at her office, and she wasn’t home yet. And don’t call her that, Sloan could hear you.”

 

After a strenuous day at work, you find yourself having dinner at home with Danny. Sloan is listening to music in the playroom while reading her book.

 

"Laura, there is nothing wrong with being interested in her. Also, you say that Sloan likes your mysterious… uh, ‘Carmilla.’"

 

Danny glances at Sloan who is so immersed in her reading that the redhead is sure she can’t hear her, but she still lowers her voice so as not to bother you.

 

“Danny, I’m not going to date her. We haven’t even seen each other for weeks. With all the work I have, I hardly have any time to spend with Sloan. Moreover, what real chance there is of Carmilla having any interest in me?”

 

You remember the conversation you had with Lafontaine last weekend. Somehow you managed to sneak out for lunch, and you subtly asked them for more information about Carmilla. It seems that Carmilla always had a reputation as a heartbreaker. Apparently, she entertained an incredible number of ‘study buddies’ during high school. But at the start of her graduation year, she began a serious relationship with a girl called Ell.

 

As far as the redhead knew, the relationship was maintained throughout university. They even heard rumors that they were getting married. Although Perry insisted that the information that the school had was confidential, she confirmed that only Carmilla and Will were listed as emergency contacts. There was nothing about anyone named Ell.

 

Laf had no idea what had happened because Carmilla had stopped speaking to them while they were studying at Silas. Then you understand why you never knew of the publicist's existence in college. And your friend never knew what had happened to the couple. Laf even suspected Ell had something to do with Carmilla breaking all ties with them.

 

Either way, Carmilla’s reputation didn’t inspire confidence on the relationship front. But of course, LaF and Carmilla hadn’t spoken for more than ten years, and people can change a lot in that length of time. The woman had a daughter now. She wouldn’t be so irresponsible as to sleep with every woman going. Or would she?

 

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Hollis. You and I dated, and although it didn’t work out for other reasons, you are a beautiful, smart woman. Any woman would be lucky to have you by her side.”

 

"Thanks, Danny, but you’re only saying that because you're my friend. And need I remind you that no one has been happy to have me ‘at her side’ for a long time. Do you remember why I decided to have Sloan?”

 

"Maybe you just haven’t met the right person, Laura.”

 

“Don’t you think we’re old enough to stop believing in fairy tales?”

 

Danny gives you a fond look but just shrugs as if she doesn’t want to accept that you’re right.

 

"Well, what happened to your proposed date with Carmilla?" she teases.

 

"Ha Ha! Carmilla and I don’t have a date. It’s a playdate between Sloan and Hayley. Besides, I told you she wasn’t home. Will told me I needed to speak with Carmilla and gave me her mobile number. “

 

You think about what Danny says; an actual date with Carmilla. The thought makes you smile. It would be nice to go out with someone like Carmilla for a change. Actually, it would be nice to date anyone in general. Since Sloan came into your life, you haven’t met many people, mostly because you haven’t given yourself permission to do it. If it was hard enough to meet someone when you were single, it’s even less likely that someone wants to take on baggage that includes a journalist that’s already married to her work and a daughter who barely speaks. In fact, you've already tried.

 

Danny tried you to set you up one of her friends, a professor from college a few years ago. The first meeting went well until you realized that the redhead forgot to mention you had a daughter, and she freaked out. She lost all interest after that.

 

“And?"

 

"And what?”

 

"Laura, did you call Carmilla?”

 

“I…"

 

"Laura, you have the perfect excuse to call her.”

 

"Danny, my daughter is not an excuse. I don’t have anything to say to her, other than asking her to allow Hayley to come here to play with Sloan.”

 

"Well, maybe that's the main reason. But if she accepts, you’ll at least see her again. Girl the hell up, Hollis!”

 

"I don’t know, Danny. Maybe it's better this way. I don’t want to be under any silly illusions. Moreover, I really don’t know enough about her. Maybe I’m building her up to be something she’s not. I love how she gets along with Sloan, but that doesn’t mean that she’s compatible with me. I do not know what sort of person Carmilla Karnstein is.”

 

"Laura, none of us know the people we’ll fall in love with. Some people even started off by hating each other. I mean, did you ever imagine that Kirsch and I would end up together?" she says, jokingly.

 

Well, that’s true. You never thought that Danny and Kirsch could end up in a loving relationship after all that hatred they bore towards each other during college. In fact, it took a few years for them to be just friends, then more than friends and now they live together. And they're happy. Like, really happy.

 

"I understand, but what are the chances that Carm is interested in something more?”

 

"Carm, eh?”

 

"Shut up, Lawrence.”

 

Danny tries not to laugh at the affectionate nickname that you already have imposed on the publicist.

 

"Call her, Hollis. You have nothing to lose, and you can win a playdate for your daughter. And ... who knows, maybe a date for you.”

 

You laugh at the insistence of your friend. You know she won’t drop the matter until you promise you’ll call. Not that you don’t want to. Of course, you wish Danny's words would come true, but you are afraid of making a hasty decision. Can Carmilla even see you as anything other than the mother of her daughter's friend?

 

The sound of a car horn jolts you out of your thoughts and Danny looks out through the front window of your house.

 

“It’s Kirsch. I gotta go. I have his dinner with me. He must be exhausted from training. See you tomorrow, Hollis.”

 

Danny takes a container with Kirsch’s meal. You wonder how Danny could have become so domestic and practically a wife. Neither of them ever said that they wanted to formalize the relationship through marriage. But you are almost certain that Kirsch has wanted to do it for years.

 

Your friend says goodbye to Sloan who’s still deep in her book, and you walk her to the front door.

 

"Laura, let's just ignore all the corny parts of fairy tales. Call Carmilla, schedule the playdate and at least give yourself a chance to know her better. Maybe it won’t end up like a Hollywood rom-com, but it’s possible that you can at least make a new friend.”

 

Danny hugs you and makes her way to the car where Kirsch’s waiting for her. She gives you a last wave goodbye, and you return it.

 

"Call her!" Danny yells while she gets into the car to kiss Kirsch.

 

Give yourself a chance to know her better? Why not?

  
  
  


 

 

**Carmilla**

  
  


 

 

It took you a little longer than you thought to get home to Will and Hayley. Mostly because Elsie continued to badger you about going out together, and it took longer than necessary to finish the final edit of the commercial. You really need to hire a new assistant, but apart from her constant harassment, Elsie is very good at her work.

 

Your phone starts to ring while you're driving home. Without even looking at the number, you press the car’s bluetooth button to answer.

 

"What do you want now, you dog-face?”

 

“Carm?"

 

Your mind freezes as you turn to the dashboard display of your car and see an unknown number on the screen. Thank goodness you have to stop at an intersection because you're certain that if you’d been driving on the highway, you would have crashed. 

 

So you don’t need Will to make you look like an idiot in front of Laura Hollis; you’re doing a good job of that on your own.

 

"Laura? I'm sorry. I thought it was my stupid brother again.”

 

There’s an awkward silence after your apology. It seems eternal until you hear the most beautiful sound you've heard on earth. That laugh. Her laugh.

 

"Okay. You sound busy. I can call you back later if you want. It's not some big impending emergency. I know you have to work late at the office. Maybe you should keep working. Sorry to interrupt you. I'll call you tomorrow when you're free. Well, not that I think there's a time when you are not busy, but ... “

 

“Laura?"

 

“Yes?"

 

"I'm not busy.”

 

"Oh, good, good. So you're done working. That's good. It's really late. Although, of course, your job is very demanding. I fully understand. Mine is too.”

 

God, does she stop to take a breath, you wonder. But you really don’t want her to stop. No matter what she’s saying, you just want to keep listening to that voice. 

 

The traffic light changes to green and your head is still in the clouds listening to your favorite blonde rambling. But the sound of several horns blaring in unison and urging you to hurry up soon brings you back to earth. 

 

"Carm, are you driving?”

 

Carm? She’s still calling you by that sweet nickname, and you smile stupidly at that. You’re pathetic, Karnstein!

 

"Uh, yes. I'm heading home.”

 

"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to distract you. I call you later. When you get home, or you can call me back when you're not busy or when you can. There's no rush. It's not a life or death thing …"

 

"Cupcake, Cupcake. It’s okay. What do you need?”

 

You freeze. You just called Laura ‘Cupcake’ without thinking. This woman’s rambling sounds familiar; as familiar as when your daughter does the same thing that makes you affectionately call her the same thing. 

 

Silence. Silence on the line and you're sure that Laura has hung up on you after your brain-fart.You pull in to park at the sidewalk and hit your forehead against the steering wheel to punish yourself for your slip-up.

 

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”

 

"Ahm ... Carm?"

 

You look up at the dash display, and well that’s just great! Laura Hollis hasn’t actually hung up and has heard everything you said.

 

"Carm, is everything okay?”

 

"Uh ... yeah. A woman walked out in front of my car, and I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

 

Laura giggles. That freaking, contagious giggle. You smile again.

 

"Well, I called because I wanted to know if Hayley was free this weekend to come to our house to play with Sloan.”

 

Our house. You like how that phrase sounds and imagine how nice it would be if it could be used in another scenario. One in which Laura was referring to a house together with Hayley, Sloan, her and you. You sigh. Until you remember that Laura has a home with Sloan and probably with another annoyingly tall, redheaded woman.

 

"I think we'd really like that. I mean, Hayley. That Hayley would like that.”

 

Well, Karnstein. As if you hadn’t put yourself through enough. Please continue, no problem at all. Idiot!

 

“I’d love to have you with me. That is, both of you, Hayley and you with us. In our home, like Sloan and I.”

 

You smile even more. Did Laura Hollis just flirt with you? Nah! Carmilla, the blonde is already spoken for.

 

"Good. What day and what time?”

 

"Saturday. Eleven in the morning. I’ll text you my address and the directions.”

 

"Sure. It sounds great. We will be there on Saturday.”

 

"Thanks for letting Hayley come.”

 

“It’s no problem. I think she’s been punished enough and has learned her lesson.”

 

Silence filled the line. This time, you don’t take away your gaze from the display in case you make a fool of yourself in front of Laura Hollis again. 

 

"Good. Until Saturday then. Good night, Carm.”

 

"Good night, Laura."

 

 

 

 


	6. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s finally the day of the playdate and Laura believes she’s prepared for anything.
> 
> Everything that is except for Carmilla’s odd behavior.

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

Once Danny has left, you sit next to Sloan for a few minutes while she’s reading her book. Your daughter snuggles into your embrace, and you remember the first time that she began to read. Your heart melted to see the way she hesitated and stuttered with each word, sometimes only advancing one page per night. But it hurt to know the real reason why Sloan decided at such a young age to read on their own. She had told you a few years later when she could read a book in six or eight weeks. Sloan had learned to read for those nights when you couldn’t get home before it was her bedtime and didn’t want to be a burden on you.    
  
Seeing that the book is about to fall from her hands, you call her gently. There’s no doubt that she’s exhausted, and she should be in bed for some much-needed rest.   
  
When you leave your daughter’s room after tucking her into bed, you start thinking about how different it would be to have someone else with you to share the day with Sloan; all your joys, your sorrows, your worries, your triumphs. It’s true that you have your daughter and your friends, but it isn’t always enough. At the end of the day, you end up sleeping alone in your room without being able to share everything you have within you.   
  
You find yourself thinking that you want to share that with someone special; maybe someone like Carmilla.   
  
She’d understand what being a single mother is like, you think. From all the information you’d managed to find out, it seems that there’s no someone else in Hayley’s life except her.

  
Although you’re not totally confident that Carmilla is single, you try to hold on to that thought for a little longer. There is nothing wrong with imagining for a second that Hayley lies in the other room sleeping alongside Sloan, as you walk down the hall toward the living room where Carmilla waits for you with her sweet smile.There both of you talk about your respective days at work, your daughters and make love before you both fall asleep entwined together.   
  
Well, Hollis, the first thing you should do to make sure that’s even an option is to call Carmilla. Then you can make an appointment for your daughters to share a fun day together, while you could learn more about the woman that’s been on your mind for weeks.   
  
Taking out your phone and the paper where you wrote down Carmilla’s number, you lose your nerve. But after a few minutes staring at nothing, you remember Danny’s last words 'Call her.’

 

_ What the hell, let’s do it. _

  
The phone rings three times, and you realize that you’re biting your nails, something that you hadn’t done for years.   
  
"What do you want now, you rabid dog?”   
  
Carmilla's voice sounds pretty even when she snarls an unexpected insult that you really hope wasn’t aimed at you. You wait a few seconds before answering. And of course, you slip up by calling her ‘Carm’ again.   
  
Carmilla doesn’t answer immediately. There is silence on the line that makes you wonder if calling her was a good idea. But then you hear her voice again, and it sounds incredibly gentle and even a little bit shy. She apologizes for her rudeness and tells you that she thought you were Will. You're an only child, but you've seen many times the way that siblings usually deal with each other. But you have never been lucky enough to experience for yourself the way in which an insult can be equivalent to an ‘I love you.'   
  
You’re silent for a moment by this analysis until you laugh that ridiculous, childish laugh of yours again. It probably sounds even worse over the phone, but there's nothing you can do to stop it.   
  
You try to cover it by talking to her. Or rather, you start to ramble like you always do, and hope you haven’t interrupted Carmilla doing anything important. You intuitively realize that Carmilla is devoted to her work, so now you’re afraid of being a nuisance. The one thing you don’t want is to be a bother to her.   
  
Carmilla interrupts you and assures you that she isn’t too busy to talk. She’s probably just being polite, but it means the world to you.   
  
There’s a faint sound of traffic, and you wonder if Carmilla is driving. The last thing you want is her answering the phone without paying attention to the road. But when she confirms that she’s heading home, your mind takes you to a scene where Carmilla leaves work and heads home to you and the girls. You try to sweep those thoughts from your mind and tell Carmilla you can call later. Then something happens that makes not only your head spin but your whole world.   
  
She calls you 'Cupcake, ' and you can do nothing but bite the back of your hand to keep from squealing with joy. For God’s sake, Hollis! You acting like an excited teenager because her crush has called her a pet name. The way she says it sounds so natural, that it is as if Carmilla has been calling you that for her whole life.  And straightaway, you’re back to thinking about those crazy scenarios where the woman is more than the mother of your daughter’s best friend.   
  
What else can you say after that? Perhaps you do know, but you prefer not say a word because you know that if anything else tries to come out of your mouth, your voice will break completely.   
  
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”   
  
It's the next thing you hear Carmilla saying, and you don’t understand what just happened. You are so engrossed in the way your brain is repeating ‘Cupcake’ over and over again that you don’t have time to think about what is happening on the other end of the line.   
  
You call Carmilla by her nickname while thinking that it's not as cute as the one she has given you. But you like how it sounds, so you dare to say it again and ask if everything is okay.   
  
Carmilla says a woman walked out in front of her car, and that it had given her a bit of a shock. You laugh. You laugh because you can almost see your daughter’s reaction when she cycles in the bikeway down the street when a pedestrian starts walking in it. Carmilla probably looks just as cute as Sloan when she’s frowning.   
  
Finally, you gather your thoughts when you remember why you called Carmilla in the first place.

"Well, I called because I wanted to know if Hayley was free this weekend to come to our house to play with Sloan."

  
"I think we'd really like that. I mean, Hayley. That she would like that,” replies Carmilla.   
  
You love that she agrees to your proposal and even more pleased to hear that she seems happy with the idea of seeing you.    
  
“I’d love to have you with me. That is, both of you, Hayley and you with us. In our home, like Sloan and me.”   
  
Although you know that what you just said is totally honest, you're not certain how Carmilla would interpret it. So you clarify the comment in your usual awkward manner, promising to forward her your details. She confirms that they’ll be there, and you thank her. She admits that her daughter has probably learned her lesson, and you agree wholeheartedly. Carmilla, you think, is indeed a good mother.   
  
You don’t know what else you can say to that wouldn’t make you, and possibly her, feel awkward, so you wish her good night.   
  
"Goodnight, Laura."   
  
They are the last words you hear from her before she hangs up, and the smile on your face couldn’t be bigger. Closing your eyes, you imagine hearing those words in your ear before bedtime for the rest of your life.   


 

  
  
**Carmilla** **  
**

 

 

  
It’s Saturday morning. In a few hours, you’re meeting Laura, and you’re already awake before your alarm sounds. You're not used to waking up at such an insufferable hour on your days off, but the anxiety you feel at the prospect of meeting her again won’t let you sleep until the alarm does go off.   
  
And you wish you could have slept more because now all you do is think about the way that Laura Hollis makes you feel. But that’s not the only thing that occupies your mind. Unfortunately, you’re also dwelling on the fact that the blonde is a married woman or at the very least, is unavailable.   
  
You're excited to see her, but the redhead that you saw with her last time will probably be there too, and you hate that. Maybe it would be better to send Hayley with Will? At least then you wouldn’t have to see Laura next to the Amazon with whom she shares her life. 

 

Really, Karnstein? What's wrong with you? You've never been jealous of anyone, not even  _ her _ . But you can’t stand the idea of Laura Hollis having someone else in her life. Someone else that’s not you.   
  
Finally, the sound of your alarm goes off; you turn to your right to appease the hellish noise and bury your head in your pillows so as not to wake your daughter up.   
  
"You’re killing me, Hollis!”

 

  
  


**Laura** **  
**

 

  
  
You wonder if Sloan is as excited as you are for today. Maybe she is. No, actually you don’t think so because you hardly slept the whole night. You've been waking up almost every hour on the hour because you’re so anxious.   
  
When you think it’s the right time, you decide to get out of bed and go find your daughter in her room. She's already awake, staring at the ceiling. Slowly you climb into her bed and lie down beside her, stroking her hair with one hand while the other rests under your head. Your gaze is directed towards the same point as your daughter's.   
  
"Mom, do you think Hayley will like our house?” asks your daughter, tentatively.   
  
You've never heard her sound so worried about something, though to be honest, she’s never had to go through this situation. It is the first time that someone outside the family (including your father and your friends with their children) has come to visit Sloan at home.   
  
"Sloan, Hayley’s coming to see you, not the house. No matter what sort of house we have, she'll be happy just to share this day with you."   
  
"Mom, Hayley has shown me pictures of her room. It’s all so yellow and blue. She has tons of Harry Potter stuff, and everything seems so bright. It’s nothing like mine."   
  
"Sloan, Hayley will love your room. Do you know why?” 

 

When your daughter finally turns to look you in the eye, you reply, "Because Hayley loves you. You're her friend, and that's all that matters to her."   
  
Sloan takes a deep breath. Maybe your answer hasn’t entirely convinced her, but you think it's true. Because it's the same way as you feel about your daughter. You and she don’t share a lot of tastes in common, but you love her no matter what.    
  
Sloan's room is a little dark and gloomy for your liking. The only things decorating it are posters of bands that even you have no idea how Sloan managed to learn of their existence. But you still love to be with her in that room, sharing moments like this morning where you can encourage her to say more than more than two words at a time.

  
"Come on! You have to get up for breakfast and be ready when Hayley and her mother arrive."   
  
You make an attempt to get up when your daughter tugs your shirt to stop you. Pulling you close, Sloan embraces you tightly, something that she hasn’t done in a long time. With that hug, she’s sharing all her fears with you. You answer the embrace with the same impetus letting her know that everything will be okay.   
  
On your part, you have the same fears. You don’t know if Camilla is going to be comfortable in your home or if she would even like it. You get a sick feeling in your stomach at the thought that she won’t.   
  
After breakfast, you ask Sloan what activities she wants to do that day with Hayley, and it’s not at all surprising when your child sighs deeply at the list of choices you've made. But she agreed to some things like watching movies, some from your Harry Potter collection and some from Sloan’s Hitchcock collection. Then you’d order pizza for the four of you; play some video games, go to the park to play with other children and end up with a sleepover.

 

You not sure if Carmilla will agree to the last part, but do not want to crush Sloan’s hopes. She is more excited than you have ever seen her before. But she doesn’t show it the same way as you do. She squeezes her hands tightly, and her eyes light up at the thought that Hayley would spend the night in your home. Taking a quick look at the clock, you realize that both of them will be here in ten minutes.

 

 

  
  
**Carmilla** **  
**

 

 

  
"Cupcake, no!”   
  
"But Moooom..."   
  
"We’re not bringing Bagheera, and that’s final."   
  
"But I promised Sloan. Laura said that he could go with us," insists your daughter with a pout.

  
"Cupcake, your cat is not coming with us, period!"

 

  
  
**Laura** **  
**

 

 

  
You hear the car parking in front of your house, and your hands start to sweat.   
  
Getting up off the couch in the living room, you open the door as you see the maelstrom of love that’s Hayley Karnstein running towards you. Her arms are outstretched as if she hadn’t seen you in years, and she greets you with a hug that makes you stumble on your feet.   
  
"Hi, Laura! Where’s Sloan?”   
  
"Hello there, Hay. Sloan must be in her room. I don’t think she realizes that you’re here yet. Why don’t you surprise her? Go up the stairs, is the second room on the left, the door has a moon with her name on it. "   
  
Hayley nods excitedly, and she loosens the hug to run upstairs and look for your daughter.    
  
You find it odd Hayley has come alone to the door of your house. You begin to worry that Carmilla has only come to drop off her daughter here without even thinking to say hello. But you breathe again when you see her climb slowly out of the car. 

 

For a moment anyway.

 

She’s dressed in a ripped tight black pair of jeans that fit her legs perfectly and make you want to jump her, a black shirt decorated with moon phases and a leather vest on the same color. The whole look is topped off with aviator sunglasses who make her look incredibly young. You've never seen Carmilla with such a relaxed style, but then again you’ve only met her twice. Both times, she was wearing an expensive looking tailored suit.   
  
The raven-haired woman is holding something in her hands, and at first, you fail to recognize what it is until she draws near you. Then you finally recognize Hayley's pet cat. Carmilla is carrying Bagheera in her arms.   
  
Your smile gets bigger with every step the brunette gets near to you. You can’t help but notice how cute this woman looks with a black kitten in her arms.   
  
"Good morning, Laura. Sorry, Hayley insisted on bringing Bagheera with us. She said that you had given your approval."   
  
"Hey, Carm. Of course, the three of you are always welcome here."   
  
You see a touch of red on Carmilla's cheeks after your statement. So you thought she couldn’t get any more adorable? Wrong again, Hollis.   
  
When Carmilla finally reaches the front door, you freeze because you don’t want to scare Carmilla off. You don’t know whether to shake hands, just say hello, kiss her on the cheek or stay there for a few moments.   
  
She remains still, and you have no idea what to do next. You think you could stay on the porch for hours just looking into her eyes, but Sloan and Hayley have other plans when they run down the stairs.   
  
"Mommy, Mommy, Sloan's room is so cool. She has music posters everywhere. It also has a guitar and a telescope to see the stars. She and Laura made a bed for Bagheera. I want to take him there so he can feel at home."   
  
You see Carmilla withdraw her gaze from your eyes and place the cat in the arms of your daughter who has taken a step towards her.   
  
"Hello, Kiddo. You want to hold him?"   
  
Your daughter nods shyly as she takes the animal in her arms, greeting Carmilla.   
  
"Hey, Carm."   
  
Your gaze wanders between the two of them and you notice a slight smile on both of their faces.

  
"You're very strong, Kiddo,” Carmilla says, ruffling your daughter's hair, in that characteristic sweet gesture that you’ve grown to love. She always does that to your daughter, and your knees feel a little weaker. You lean on the door to hold you because Sloan always reacts in the same way, accepting it with a smile.   
  
The girls climb back up the stairs vanishing from sight, leaving Carmilla and you in silence again.   
  
"Well, your porch is lovely, Creampuff. But as much as I like it, are we going to stay out here all day?"   
  
You freeze briefly on hearing the new nickname, but you force your body to react appropriately. For some strange reason, it does not sound as nice as the first time when she called you some pastry pet name. Carmilla's attitude has suddenly changed, and you don’t know why.   
  
"Of course not! Forgive my rudeness, come in. We can make iced tea and watch something on Netflix while the girls are playing upstairs or we can talk, or I could leave you alone if you want. Not that we have to stay together throughout the day. For a moment I thought you wouldn’t stay with us, but now since you're here I'd love to spend time with you, that is, talk about the girls, or work, or life. Unless you don’t want to, of course."   
  
"Iced tea is perfect, Buttercup," she replies tersely.   
  
That's not the Carmilla with whom you had met on previous occasions, and even the odd-but-affectionate nicknames don’t sound the same. Usually, they make you feel like there are butterflies in your stomach. You're not so sure you like this change. The woman is giving off a haughty and arrogant aura.   
  
Carmilla sits at the breakfast bar in your kitchen, and while you get the pitcher of iced tea from the refrigerator, you catch her eyes wandering in admiration around your home.   
  
After pouring a couple of glasses for the girls and taking them to Sloan’s room, you return to the kitchen where the Carmilla is still waiting, somewhat impatiently drumming her fingers on the table. If she’s already bored after just a few minutes in your house, you don’t want to know how long the day is going to feel if she keeps behaving like this.    
  
"I hope you like tea."   
  
"I would have preferred coffee, but you don’t look like a coffee person, Cutie."   
  
"What's wrong with you today, Carm?"   
  
"With me? Nothing, Sweetie. I'm perfectly fine."   
  
Nothing that comes out of Carmilla’s mouth makes you feel comfortable this morning. She’s definitely not the woman that you were so hopeful to see. Maybe you were right when you told Danny that you doubted if Carmilla would be even compatible with you.   
  
You can’t kick her out of your house because that would mean that Hayley would have to leave as well. So you huff to soothe your disappointment. You have to be a good hostess to this woman who doesn’t seem so appealing now. Of course, that’s a lie, because she still makes you feel things in unmentionable places, but you’re definitely not going to let them know that. Now, less than ever.   
  
Fortunately, your phone starts ringing, and you make your excuses to Carmilla, apologizing for the interruption.   
  
"Danny!"   
  
"Good morning, Hollis. Just calling to see how your date is, well Sloan’s playdate anyway, is going?”   
  
Danny’s teasing of the supposed love tryst between Carmilla and you, makes you laugh bitterly.

  
"All good, thanks. You want to come to see us? ... Please, Danny, you have to come. I need you here. Carmilla is being a raging b…. bad person!"   
  
You get up from your seat and walk away to your backyard whispering the second half in case Carmilla heard you.   
  
"What? Laura, what am I to supposed to do? Be a third wheel between your broody lover and you? "   
  
"Please, Dan. If you come, you could stop me killing Carmilla Karnstein. Trust me, I don’t think I can stand today’s jerk face attitude.”   
  
"Okay, okay. I believe that you’re exaggerating, but I’m just dropping Kirsch at the training camp, and I’ll be there after that.”   
  
"Thank you, Danny. You're the best. I love you. Bye,” you say while walking back to the kitchen and talking in a normal tone. You see Carmilla sighing impatiently and rolling her eyes.   
  
God, she’s so annoying. What is the matter with her?!

 

 

 


	7. Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the day of the playdate.
> 
> Laura finds that Carmilla doesn’t seem to be the woman she thought she was.
> 
> Carmilla thinks that Laura is exactly the woman she thought she was, but can’t have.
> 
> Messages, calls and a visit that changes everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there Creampuffs! 
> 
> How are those big hearts doing with the news we had this week about Carmilla the movie, uh?!!?
> 
> Mine is so full!
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the delay, this week went crazy at work but here's another chapter of these two. And don't forget to letting me know what you think! 
> 
> Thanks for the Kudos and a huge bear hug to my dear beta Niall, as usual he's amazing :)
> 
>  
> 
> Mckie.

 

 

** Carmilla **

 

 

 

After spending all morning trying to decide whether to get Will take Hayley to her playdate with Sloan, you finally decide to do it yourself. Actually, you realized it would have to be you when your brother didn’t reply to any of your messages and phone calls. He’s probably busy with yet another new girlfriend. 

 

SJ has prepared breakfast for Hayley and you. The brunette has been around since your daughter was born. She began working for you after the ‘incident’ and all of you consider her part of the family. She’s the one who keeps your house spotless, and you’re grateful to have her as part of your life because without her in it, your home would look more like a war zone. 

 

"Good morning, SJ." 

 

"Good morning, Carmilla. Good morning, Hayley. " 

 

"Hello, SJ. Everything smells delicious. You're the best cook in the world! My tummy jumps forjoy every time it smells your food!” 

 

"Thanks, Hayley,” replied SJ with a smile. 

 

“It’s great that you love my food so much. Carmilla, is Will having breakfast with us this morning?" 

 

"No, I think he has other plans for today.”

 

You've always suspected that SJ has a huge crush on your brother although you don’t know if anything ever happened between them. But you hope that if anything does, that Will doesn’t do anything stupid.

 

Honestly, you're not against the idea. Your brother would be lucky to have a woman as good as SJ in his life for a change.

 

SJ can’t hide the disappointment on her face, while you decide that it would be insensitive to say that he’s probably bedding yet another girlfriend. For the sake of SJ’s feelings, not to mention your daughter's mental health and your own, it’s preferable to spare everyone the details.

 

After breakfast SJ begins her weekend cleaning routine and you leave the table with Hayley to prepare for what you feel is going to be the longest day of your life. You’re going to be spending time with the blonde that leaves your mouth dry, the black-haired girl that captivates you with her musical taste and a giant redhead that reminds you of a Groot in autumn. 

 

_Well done, Karnstein! This nickname is the best so far. Very mature of you, indeed_.

 

All these thoughts running through your head are freaking you out by the time you finish your shower and sit on the edge of your bed to get dressed. But that’s when your phone distracts you. Taking it from the nightstand next to your bed, you see that it’s Will.

 

**Willyboy:** _You missing me, pussycat?_

 

**Kitty:** _I survived five years of my life without you. And believe me, they were the happiest of my life._

 

**Willyboy:** _Your twenty messages and other calls saying that you want to see me say otherwise. What do_ _you need, little sis?_

 

**Kitty:** _I'm older than you, idiot! Hayley needs you to take her to her playdate with Sloan._

 

**Willyboy:** _Oh! Slash and the mom you like. If that’s the woman we met at Hayley’s school, she’s really hot. Do you have to work?_

 

**Kitty:** _I told you before, it’s Sloan! And no. I just don’t feel like seeing Laura._

 

**Willyboy:** _You?! You don’t want to see a woman like Laura? I don’t believe you! What's up?_

 

**Kitty:** _I told you already, Will. I don’t want to see her._

 

**Willyboy:** _Ah! Wait, now I understand. It’s the wife you’re avoiding. Look, I’d help you out, but right now I have breakfast ready, and I don’t mean food._

 

**Kitty:** _Will! Gross!_

 

**Willyboy:** _Everything I know about treating women, I learned from you. But seriously Carmilla, I can’t help you today. I promised Mother I’d meet her for lunch._

 

**Kitty:** _Fine, Mama’s boy. Enjoy your meal dimwit and I don’t mean mother’s lunch._

 

**Willyboy:** _Kitty, you have nothing to worry about. Look, she may be married or whatever, but that doesn’t mean you should treat her any differently from all the other woman you've known. You're Carmilla ‘Lady-Killer’ Karnstein! Why should it be different with Laura?_

**Kitty:** _Yeah! That’s my name. Thanks, asshole. We love you. Have fun._

 

As much as you hate admitting it, Will’s right. Laura is just another woman; you don’t have to act differently with her. Okay, you feel things that none of the other women you've met in your life have made you feel. Not even _her._

 

You have had enough experience with women in your life to be upfront that you are not interested in anything other than spending a night with them. That was mostly back in your high school days before meeting your ex, with whom you had a long and monogamous relationship, although she never wanted to acknowledge it.

 

After you had Hayley, you never wanted to have a serious relationship. Your daughter is priorities number one, two and three in your life. There’s no way that you're getting involved with someone or in something that will hurt her in the long term. If it was just you, then you could handle another breakup or separation, but not when your daughter’s wellbeing is also involved. 

 

But occasionally you give yourself permission to return to your old ways of champagne and seduction eyes for old times sake. It’s usually with the advertising models that you deal with at work and only when you're sure that they won’t be hanging around.

 

After deciding that Will has a point, you decide to dress the way you normally do for your casual dating. Jeans, shirt, your leather vest, all topped off with your sunglasses.

 

So much for trying to dissuade Hayley from taking Bagheera with her to Sloan’s house. You still can’t say no to your daughter. Now all three of you are in the car for the trip to the happy couple’s home.

 

When you finally arrive at their house, your daughter can’t restrain herself and jumps out of your car to run and hug Laura at the front door. Laura is smiling that special smile of hers that you’re sure will kill you one of these days. But it would be so worth it.

 

While waiting in the car for a few minutes, you’re considering how odd it is that only Laura is there to welcome you. Maybe the wife isn’t there right now because she had to work or perhaps she’s inside the house. Maybe she’s just her girlfriend, and she doesn’t live with them. Or else you’re being stupid and overthinking this. Just be thankful that she’s not around at the moment and that you don’t have to deal with the fact that Laura is off limits, for now anyway. She’s still waiting for you, and you take a deep breath before getting out of the car with Bagheera in your hands. 

 

_You can do this Karnstein!_

 

Laura is dressed casually in a pair of jeans that perfectly accentuate her figure and a somewhat short shirt that reveals part of her shapely firm stomach. You can almost sense how soft the skin there is. _Behave! The only Lady-Killer here is you._

 

Laura is giving you a run for your money with that outfit, though. Her hair is up in a ponytail that makes her look much younger than she is. The way her face is illuminated by the morning sun makes you wish that you could wake beside her early every morning just to see that face. 

 

No! You can’t think like that. This woman will never be yours.

You walk in with her, and you notice Laura’s every little action. She's breathtaking.

 

After saying good morning and apologizing for your daughter's cat, her face lights up, and she welcomes the three of you while calling you by that pet name again. 

 

When you’re inside the house, you don’t know how to approach the situation. Even if you manage to check out the house and find no trace of the redhead, you don’t want to do anything that’ll ruin your game.

 

Your daughter and Sloan run downstairs to ask for the cat, and you give him to Sloan while saying hi to her for the first time that day. She calls you by the same loving name Laura does, and you can’t stop the smile that fills your face. It warms your heart the way that the pair of them welcome both of you into their home. How you wish it could be Hayley’s and yours too. 

 

_Stop daydreaming, Carmilla!_

 

The girls return to Sloan’s room with Bagheera, leaving you alone with Laura, and you’re temporarily at a loss for what to do next. But before long, you start acting like you do with nearly every other woman you know.

 

You smirk as if you were with one of your ‘work buddies’ and you can see how this act affects the blonde; you’re not sure if it’s something good or not, though. _Well, whatever, Karnstein, you don’t need to be worried about what Laura thinks of you._ That’s the whole point of this.

 

When Laura disappears from your sight to take some iced tea to the girls, you check the ground floor. The Amazon doesn’t seem to be here, but you’re still not certain.

 

Laura's house is comfortable and cozy, possibly not as tidy as yours but you know that's because of SJ’s hard work. If it were left up to you, chaos would reign in your apartment. But here, you feel that Laura’s house is bathed in a loving, homely atmosphere.

 

Laura returns, and you try to act aloof and distant with her. She notices it immediately, and you’re surprised that she recognizes the change in you after only a couple of meetings between the pair of you. You want to apologize for your behavior and treat her like before. She deserves better. But like a sign from heaven, Laura receives a call. Just from the smile on her face, you understand that this is from the redhead and frown when you think Laura isn’t watching.

 

You hear Laura saying ‘Danny’ to the woman, and there’s nothing you can do to feel at ease in the blonde’s kitchen as she gets a call from her female ‘knight in shining armor.’

 

Laura laughs when she leaves the kitchen to go out and take the call in her garden. She laughs again at something you can’t hear and your stomach sinks, feeling as if you’re about to throw up the breakfast that SJ had prepared for you that morning.

 

After a few minutes, Laura is back, smiling, giggling and saying goodbye affectionately to Clifford. Your mind is proud of your sarcasm, but your stomach is sickened by the scene you’ve just witnessed. The blonde says an ‘I love you’ and now the sick feeling seems to spread to your chest where you imagine your heart would be. But there’s an only empty space there because Laura is a woman that will never be yours.

 

You sign resignedly. Laura Hollis is not meant for you.

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

 

After Danny’s call, Carmilla seems to become even more distant and almost harsh with you. There are no warm looks and shy half smiles today. All that remains now is pure sarcasm and a smirk that makes you want to smack her and not in the fun enjoyable way but to really let loose and slap that sneer from her face.

 

You try to keep up a friendly conversation with her, but Carmilla spends most of the time on her phone. Judging by her smile, she’s texting what seem to be increasingly flirtatious messages. She’s paying a lot more attention to whoever it is than anything you’re saying. You’re not trying to pry, but you manage to see the recipient is named Elsie.

 

Your heart breaks a little, not just from realizing that Carmilla’s not as interested in you as she is in this woman, but because you had really high expectations of this whole day. Now it seems to be turning into the play date from hell. It’s hard to believe that this woman is the same one that made you feel things that you never felt with anyone else. 

 

And that’s just great, now she’s now texting to someone else, someone called 'Mattie.' Another woman, perfect. This day is just perfect! Hollis, you were crazy if you thought you could have any chance of a real relationship with this infuriating woman. It’d be preferable hanging out with that creepy dude at the station that’s always flirting with you and regularly inviting you to go out for a drink after work. You think he must be the most clueless man in the world if he hadn’t noticed at this stage how gay you were. But right now, you’d rather go out with him for that drink than ask Carmilla for a real date.

 

Carmilla receives a call, and now she’s talking to someone called 'SJ.' That stupid grin gets even wider on her face, and you feel that you’ve already had enough. Lafontaine was right. Carmilla was a player, and she hasn’t changed one bit. No wonder her former girlfriend never married her, you think. She’s insufferable.

 

Carmilla giggles freely with the woman on the phone line, and you just want to kill the woman. It’s just a question of which one first, the one in front of you or to the one on the other end of the line. 

 

_Hollis, stop! You can’t be jealous of someone you don’t even know._

 

Carmilla turns to see you and smirks as she says goodbye to the woman affectionately.

 

No. Definitely, you could never fall in love with Carmilla.

 

Worst crush ever.

 

 

 

C **armilla**

 

 

 

When Laura returns from her call, you act all disaffected as if anything you heard hadn’t got on your nerves. But it did. However, you refuse to admit this. So you message Elsie about work stuff, and you laugh as if _'Carmilla, I already told you yesterday that the final proposal for the new sports brand campaign is on your desk'_ was the most flirtatious message that could be shared with a woman.

 

Laura seems uncomfortable. You can clearly see it on her face, and for a moment you wonder what you’re trying to achieve by continuing with this. Then you remember the 'I love you' that the redhead got, and that makes your mind up for you.

 

After the seventh meaningless message, Elsie decides that she has had enough of your work-related messages on Saturdays and sends one that says _'Go to hell Carmilla, I have a huge hangover here, see you on Monday!_ ' and you smile at your mobile as if you were sexting.

 

But there’s nothing more to say, and while Laura rambles on about things like your daughter’s school, you try and pay attention. But it’s hard when you can’t help staring at her lips and wondering what they’d taste like. The thing is, you really want to find out. So in desperation, you text your older sister.

 

You've never been as close to her as you are with Will. When your father left, your elder sister was already a teenager with her own problems. As soon as she was old enough, she went to college and left you and Will alone with your mother, even though she knew how it would affect you.

 

But now you need to continue with your plan. It’s the right choice, you try and insist to yourself.

 

You text Mattie asking about the political case because it’s the only thing you can think of when you’re writing. Will hasn’t stopped talking about it in recent weeks.

 

Your sister answered with a simple _‘Carmilla, is this you?'_ And you laugh again, trying to make it look like a casual flirtation. When you reassure Mattie that’s it’s really you, your sister replies with an _'Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve never been remotely interested in anything related to Mother’s business’_. So you laugh loudly and smirk at Laura to make her believe you're seducing another woman.

 

Laura leans a little towards you, and you accidentally-on-purpose let her see your sister's name on the screen of your cell phone. She tenses a little, and her face scrunches up in anger.

 

Just as Mattie is ending her conversation with you, miraculously SJ calls you to confirm that she’s locking up the house and leaving. You couldn’t be more pleased with how things are playing out so far. 

 

"Hello, SJ. Is there 'something' I can help you with, cutie?” you drawl suggestively while watching Laura’s mouth fall open in disbelief and look away. 

 

“Cutie? Oh, my God! Carmilla, you’re with a woman, right?” SJ giggles. She knows you and knows what you’re like when you're trying to charm a woman out of her clothes, only this time it’s different. You’re not trying to seduce Laura. What would you do if you’d thought you’d have half a chance of it? Well, it doesn’t matter because you don’t even have that. And in fact, you wouldn’t be anything like this. Not for Laura Hollis. Things with Laura would be different. You’d invite her to go out with you on a real date. Then you’d bring her to dinner and treat her as she deserves with courtesy and manners, just like one of those Jane Austen novels you read as a teenager. Because Laura Hollis can only remind you of Lizzy Bennett and you swear you'd die to be her ‘Mr. Darcy’. You’re such a sap, she already has someone, and you can only walk in the rain without the heroine of the book in your arms. 

 

“Carmilla, if you want to sleep with someone, you don’t need to do this and if you want to date her, just tell her. Do us both a favor and just ask her already,” says an exasperated SJ.

 

You laugh really loud because you can only imagine how funny SJ would find your dilemma that the woman you want is not as single as you wish. 

 

“Ok, fine. I see you on Monday, Cutie,” you end up saying and hang up the call with SJ laughing after your last comment.

 

You’re pretty sure it’s mission accomplished after that until you hear the front door open, and none other than the redhead makes an unwelcome appearance.

 

 

"Danny!" says Laura, happily. 

 

"Good morning, Laur.”

 

You grind your teeth as your skin crawls in the Amazon’s presence. At this very moment, you feel like Bagheera when he’s acting territorial and alert to danger. Which is stupid because Laura Hollis is not your property, this house is not your territory, and the giant is not the intruder here. You are.

 

You hope against hope that the woman doesn’t kiss Laura in front of you. You even pray to the heavens to have mercy on your soul before realizing that Karma is a bitch, and she probably hates you anyway.

 

The redhead comes into the kitchen and gives Laura a big hug. It’s the sort of hug you wish you had got when you arrived this morning. Then you hear both your daughters running down the stairs.... her daughter and yours. Stop thinking like an idiot, Karnstein! Sloan isn’t yours, and this is not the right time.

 

The girls run into the kitchen, and the redhead greets Sloan who gives her a quick wave. 

 

“Hi, Aunt Danny," she says.This is just great. The redhead has come and ... Wait.

 

Aunt? Aunt Danny? The name reverberates in your mind. What the hell? 

 

"Hayley, Carmilla. I want to introduce you to my best friend, Danny Lawrence," says Laura who’s all smiles.

 

Best friend? Danny, the big red beanpole is only Laura’s best friend.

 

To the puzzlement of everyone in the room, a huge sigh of relief escapes from your lips.

 

 

 


	8. Sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley shares something with Laura.
> 
> Sloan opens up to Carmilla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

 

**Laura**

 

 

 

Danny is a godsend because if you had to spend any more time alone with Carmilla, things could have gotten ugly.

You hug her so that you can regain your composure and help calm the anger you feel. The girls’ come downstairs and Danny greets your daughter who gives her usual mumbled reply.

Standing beside Danny, you introduce her to Carmilla and Hayley.

Carmilla sigh of relief is a little weird, though. What the hell is that about?

But she recomposes herself while Danny holds her hand out, which Carmilla shakes as if afraid that your friend has some sort of contagious disease.

She says her name and, as always, the little ball of enthusiasm that is Hayley approaches to greet the redhead.

“Mom, we’re hungry,” _ s _ ays Hayley suddenly, addressing Carmilla. Her mother looks at her without saying a word, and when she turns around, you notice that spark in her eyes is back. Her look has softened, almost like the time when you two first meet each other.  You are not sure what just happened, but she seems more relaxed, and she’s smiling again.

God, it’s beautiful.

Once again, your legs feel weak when you lock eyes with Carmilla. You don’t know how much time has passed, but when you hear the TV, you realize that Danny and the two girls have moved out to the living room. As usual, you daughter has a book in her hands. Danny clears her throat and says something your brain doesn’t quite catch because you’re lost in Carmilla’s eyes.

No, you’re not doing this. You can’t be with a woman who seems to get more text messages and calls than the city’s emergency service. You readjust your thoughts and tear away your eyes from Carmilla.

“I’m sorry, Danny. What did you say?”

“Uhm, Hollis. I was asking if you had something I can cook for the girls or what are they eating?

“Eat, right. Girls. Yes, uhm… I was planning on ordering pizza. Is that okay with you, Carm?”

You look at the brunette with a slight smile on your lips and hide it immediately. Are you for real, Hollis? Carmilla gazes at you for a second, and you feel yourself melting again. 

No, this cannot happen.

“Yes, pizza!” Hayley yells from her seat and claps vigorously while trying to encourage your daughter to join in, but Sloan just shrugs her shoulders. It’s become a habit of hers when she accedes to the blonde’s wishes. 

“Perfect, I think I’ll order one for myself too,” replies Danny with a laugh, while you place the order with the pizzeria.

After arguing for a few minutes, you choose to order different pizzas. Sloan orders her usual pepperoni because she doesn’t like to try new foods and Carmilla offers to share with her.   Danny decides to order one with every type of cold meat available on the menu and take the leftovers home for Kirsch. You and Hayley opt for a sweet pizza because the restaurant offers that option; so both of you create a pizza with cream cheese, chocolate, banana and peanut butter. Carmilla and Sloan have the exact same disgusted expression when they hear Hayley and you selecting the ingredients. You’re not sure if Carmilla approves of Hayley eating a pizza like that, but at least she doesn’t disagree, which is a good sign. 

When you are about to eat together in your living room, Danny gets a call from Kirsch. It seems that he hurt his shoulder while trying to block one of his students in football practice and now he’s resting at home. Danny apologizes for leaving and takes her pizza with her. As soon as your friend leaves the house, you notice that Carmilla seems a lot more relaxed. This puts you more at ease too.

There are only the four of you now. You let them know you’re going to the kitchen to make some iced tea to go with the food.

“Hey, Laura, can I help? I have an awesome idea. I know how to make the best lemonade in the world. Right, mom?” Hayley shouts excitedly as she gets up from her seat, but not without checking for her approval. Which Carmilla gives without a second thought, nodding.

Both of you have fun making the beverage, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world as if the pair of you had done this countless times. You help Hayley to climb up the chair so that she can reach the ingredients. 

“You’re going to love my secret recipe, Laur” declares Hayley and you feel your heart melting at the pet name she has given you.

“I’m sure I will, Hayley _ ” _ you reply, giving her one of your biggest smiles while hugging her, which she happily returns.

When it’s finally ready, you assure Hayley that it is indeed the best lemonade you have ever tried. Probably is because it contains a lot of sugar, just the way you like it.

“Wow, Hay! This is truly delicious. Did you mom teach you this recipe?” you ask 

“No, this is SJ’s secret recipe. She taught me how to make it by myself when she’s not at home.”

The smile you had since the beginning of the lemonade making process, fades away. SJ; that’s the woman Carmilla was talking to this morning. You hesitate for a moment, but you need to know more about this woman, and you don’t know why. Ok, fine, you do know why. You want to know more about Carmilla and her life. You need to know if what LaFontaine told you about her is true. Is there someone else in Carmilla’s life?

“Uhm… Hayley, is SJ your mom’s girlfriend?”

Hayley laughs keenly at your question. Almost as keenly as you laugh and you blush because she makes you feel like you've asked the most ridiculous question ever.

“No, silly. SJ is our housekeeper, although she’s really more of a friend. She’s the one who always takes care of us. Sometimes she takes care of me when Mom or Uncle Will can’t. She makes us delicious food and the best breakfasts ever. You have to try her Belgian waffles, they’re my favorite. They are fluffy and delicious. I think they are my mom’s favorite too.”

You breathe a sigh of relief after Hayley’s explanation. At least now you know she’s not Carmilla’s girlfriend. Then you remember the way she spoke to SJ on the phone. Perhaps there’s something going on between Carmilla and SJ that Hayley doesn’t realize? Would she be capable of sleeping with her housekeeper and hiding it from Hayley? Not that you’re not one to judge, but part of you doesn’t want to believe that she’d do something like that.

You want to believe Carmilla is different.

You let the subject be for a moment before it drives you crazy.  _ Stop overthinking this, Laura!  _ What difference does it make if Carmilla has a girlfriend or whether she’s bedding the housekeeper? So what if she’s a lady killer? Being interested in you is not even an option. She has shown you that with her flippant attitude this morning. Why would she let you witness how popular she is with other women if she was really interested in you?

What kind of idiot would do something like that?

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

Hayley runs to help Laura make her special lemonade in the kitchen and leaves you alone in the living room with Sloan.

For the first few of minutes, there’s only silence; neither of you makes any attempt to talk to each other. From time to time, both of you glance at Hayley and Laura working together in the dining area.

Sloan is absorbed in her book, and you can tell from the cover that it’s the same book your daughter proclaims to be her favorite. You smile and suspect the little girl knows that and that’s the reason she’s reading it. You smile because you're convinced that Sloan would do anything to make your daughter happy.

“Hey, kiddo. How’s the book?” you ask.

Sloan looks up and shrugs, a gesture you interpret as a “not bad.” You don’t know if she wants to share some more. Both of you look at the blondes when you hear your daughter’s laugh, and you notice that Laura is blushing furiously.

You and Sloan share a surprised look as you shrug at the same time, both of you equally bemused.

After a couple of minutes, you move closer to Sloan who’s still reading.

_ ‘Oppress not the cubs of the stranger, but hail them as Sister and Brother, _

_ For though they are little and fubsy, it may be the Bear is their mother _ '

 

It’s one of Hayley’s favorite phrases that you’re quoting to Sloan You truly believe it sums up your daughter’s instinct to defend the weak with everything she’s got, especially when she stood up for Sloan after she had only known her for a few minutes.

Sloan looks up, smiling shyly. But it’s gone as quick as it appeared.

“It’s Hayley’s favorite quote,” you explain, and her smile seems to light up her face when she understands.

“My favorite one is _‘My heart is heavy with the things I do not understand_ ’ near the end,” she replies quietly.

Sloan fascinates you. You don’t know why, but you want to understand her better.  So, you rise from your seat and indicate that you want to sit beside her. She nods, and both of you start to chat about the book. Apparently, this is the third time she’s read it in the short time she’s had it.

“What would you like to understand the most, Sloan _?”  _ you ask after spending a few minutes discussing the story with her, trying to understand what meaning she takes from that particular phrase.

For a moment, her shoulders tense, but eventually you can see her loosening up a bit, although her gaze is still directed at the floor.

“Why am I so different from everyone else?” she replies with the faintest voice, and you freeze for a moment. You are not sure how to respond.

“Do you think being different is bad, Sloan?”

“People don’t like it. Sometimes it makes it hard to live up to people’s expectations of you.”

Your heart breaks at the fragility this girl is showing.  Normally, this only happens with your daughter. You do not comprehend how you feel such a bond with Sloan when you hardly know her, yet the most shocking thing is that you understand what she’s trying to communicate with those words. It’s not just about the hardship of trying to live up to other people’s expectations, but the crushing failure you feel when you don’t.

“Sloan, people can be a real pain in the ‘ass,'” you reply, lowering your voice at the last word, as you’re not sure how accepting Laura would be with you using that kind of language in front of her daughter. Come on, you don’t even use it in front of yours, but you feel that Sloan is different. She would know exactly what you mean. 

Sloan giggles slightly and you continue. “You shouldn’t worry about pleasing others Sloan because those that matter, don’t mind and those that mind, don’t matter.”

“Did you just quote Dr. Seuss, Carm _?” _ replies Sloan with a teasing smile and raising one eyebrow.

For a moment you’re stunned by the girl’s response, yet at the same time, you are moved because she keeps using that nickname her mother gave you. That couple has stolen your heart since you met them. Your heart?  _ Oh, come on, Karnstein!  _ What is it with this pair that makes you think the cheesiest things? You could throw up.  _ Stop, please. _

“Well, only someone who has read Hayley’s books would know that _ ,” _ you reply with a grin. Sloan’s cheeks turn crimson while trying to hide her embarrassed face in her hoodie. 

Busted.

You shift closer getting comfortable on the sofa next to her and play with her hair as you burst into laughter.

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

Hayley helps you out by carrying a tray with four glasses while you carry the full jug of lemonade she made.

Carmilla is sitting next to your daughter on the sofa, both of them laughing. You’re so surprised that you almost trip over your own feet and drop the lemonade, but somehow you manage to catch it.  _ Perfect, Hollis; you’re about as graceful as a baby elephant. _ But thankfully no one seems to have noticed your clumsiness.  _ Well saved! _

You’ve never heard Carmilla laugh before, and it’s more beautiful than you could possibly have imagined. Her husky but delicate voice seems to reverberate through your mind. You feel like engraving her laugh in your mind forever. It’s a melody you crave to hear over and over again. 

Sloan is laughing so familiarly with Carmilla that it’s as if they’d known each other for years, almost as if they were mother and daughter. 

_ Laura Hollis, again with those useless thoughts? The only mother Sloan has is you. Stop it right now! _

Carmilla makes herself more comfortable on the sofa while caressing your daughter’s hair and placing her arm behind her in a protective manner. Hayley sits on the other sofa and invites you to sit next to her, letting Carmilla and Sloan share the other one.

You’re eating the pizzas while watching ‘Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban’ on Blu-Ray. You and Hayley steal a couple of slices of pepperoni pizza from the other two and stick your tongues out at them when they protest. But they don’t stop you either and never complain.

You try to focus on the movie but can’t help noticing from the corner of your eye how both of them eat their pizza the same way, taking it out of the box slice by slice to eat the pepperonis first before proceeding to eat the rest. Meanwhile, you and Hayley have messy faces from eating your own portions, and your fingers are still sticky from the chocolate and other sweet toppings, despite all the napkins both of you have already used.

When you’re done eating, you choose to take a couple of blankets from your closet to share. You sit next to Hayley and offer the other blanket to Carmilla, who takes it to cover Sloan.

It’s amazing the way your daughter cuddles closer to Carmilla, who places her arm around the little girl to wrap the blanket around them. You do the same with Hayley, hugging her close with the blanket wrapped around you while watching the movie. 

Carmilla looks at you and smiles. You smile too and think how pleasant it is to be home with this pair, sharing everything and nothing at the same time.

Arranging this date ( _ play date Hollis! _ ) with Carmilla was a good idea after all.

 


	9. Looking forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla can’t seem to control what comes out of her mouth. 
> 
> Neither can Laura. Not just once, maybe twice. Maybe more…
> 
> As for Will...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm celebrating Carmilla Movie filming first day!
> 
> So... enjoy! 
> 
>  
> 
> xoxo
> 
>  
> 
> Mckie!

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

_You walk through a hallway that you recognize as part of ‘that’ house. This isn’t the first time you’ve been here, but for several years it was always with ‘her.' You need to get to the room at the end of the corridor, but the harder you try, the further it moves away. The desire to run, to reach that room and open that door is overwhelming, but to your despair, your legs refuse to obey you._

 

_On the other side of the door, you can hear a desolate wail. It’s a baby’s cry, acute and penetrating. You try to force your body to move, but it refuses to respond. The crying continues to increase in volume. You must get to the child. You must._

 

_A blonde woman slowly steps in front of the door. You can’t see her face, but you know exactly who she is. She has her back turned to you. Just like the last time._

 

_She reaches out and takes the doorknob between one of her hands, ready to open it. That’s when you finally find your voice._

 

_Ell!_

 

_You want to run but not to her. It’s because the crying is heartbreaking and never-ending. There is nothing you desire more in the world than the crying stop. That the pain stops._

 

 

_This time though, there’s a hand on your shoulder that pulls you out of the hallway, and you’re helpless as it leads you out of the house._

 

_The air outside is a mix of your favorite fragrances; a miscellany of freshly brewed coffee, soil after rainfall, old books and also an indefinable something you fail to recognize but that pervades your entire being. Whatever it is, you could get used to it._

 

_The crying begins to ease and gradually begins to fade away._

 

_But that hand on your shoulder still feels too real to be a dream. Then the sweetest voice you’ve ever heard calls out your name. It’s so tender and makes you feel so secure._

 

_"Carmilla." "Cupcake?"_

_"Carmilla? Carmilla! Carmilla!!"_

_"Cupcake, I love you, I'm never going to leave you."_

 

 

"Carm, wake up!"

 

It’s the nickname that brings you back to reality. No one else calls you that. Or rather, you have never allowed anyone else to call you that.

 

Little by little, you open your eyes to allow them to get used to the light in the room. You don’t recognize it yet, but you feel at ease here.

 

 **Y** our mind must still be playing tricks on you, because of the most perfect vision there, right in front of you.

 

This must be a dream. But it feels so real.

 

The honey-blonde hair, the glowing skin and that smile that sends a shiver down the spine can only belong to an angel. You have to be still dreaming, right?

 

You raise a hand to toward the vision and to your surprise, one of your cold hands touches her cheek. It feels warm to the touch and the longer you leave it there, the warmer it seems to get.

 

The smile becomes wider, and it feels like your heart is about to leap out of your chest. A hand rests on yours making it beat even faster if that was possible. You feel as if your whole body is on fire.

 

"Hey.”

 

"Hey."

 

The gentle almost whispered reply calms you down for a moment. Only for a moment though because then your mind catches up with the signals that your body is sending you and you realize that you’re awake.

 

Before your eyes is Laura, Laura Hollis, gently stroking your hand and leaning into your touch.

 

Quickly you withdraw your hand from her cheek and try to rise, almost knocking her over in the process.

 

"Carm, are you okay?"

 

"Yes, Cup… Laura. Yes, I’m fine."

 

"It looked like you had a bad dream. Are you sure that you’re all right?"

"Of course. I'm sorry I fell asleep."

"No need to apologize, but I was getting worried listening to you. You seemed distressed and were on the verge of crying. I guess it was a nightmare. At first, I didn’t want to wake you because you looked so peaceful. Not that I was staring or anything! But… I… I mean… you were here and I…"

 

You try to hide the smirk at the blonde's babbling and notice that she’s blushing even more if that was possible. But it’s a lost cause as you can't help smiling at her.

 

"I’m sorry I fell asleep on you Laura. Where are the girls?"

 

You change the subject to allow the blond to compose herself. Also, even though you refuse to admit it, the moment you just have shared with Laura Hollis has left you breathless.

 

"Don’t worry, Carm. We all took a nap. The girls woke up a few minutes after me and went upstairs to feed Bagheera”.

 

Once again, the nickname makes your stomach flutter.

 

You make yourself more comfortable on the couch as you take in this new information, but you can't think of anything to say. Besides, there’s nothing more interesting in this room than Laura.

 

Laura, who is currently is sitting on the edge of the armchair with her hands on her lap, gazing at you with a concerned expression. She’s is the first to break the silence.

 

"Ahm… I can prepare coffee if you want. We could have a cup and just talk if it's okay with you? Or not, if you don't want to. Only this morning, you mentioned that you liked coffee and I thought it was a good idea and…"

 

"I think I would like that very much," you answer with a smile.

 

Passing one of your hands through your hair, you realize it must be a disaster at this stage. Your appearance after waking up from your recurring nightmare can’t be the most attractive.

 

"I just need to wash my face to freshen up, and my hair is probably a mess. I must look gross."

 

"No! I mean, you look beautiful, as always. I mean, you look fine. That is to say, yes. Not that you look terrible. I mean, yes, you can use the upstairs bathroom if you need it.  Isn't that what you meant because you don't need... Well, I don't know…. The bathroom is the first door to the right.”

 

She’s rambling again.  It’s possibly the most charming thing you’ve ever seen when she gets nervous and talks non-stop.

 

Wait, did she just tell you that you’re beautiful? Laura Hollis just gave you a compliment.

 

Just accept the compliment. Say something Carmilla! Damn it, react!

 

"I have to go to the bathroom."

 

What the frilly hell, Karnstein! Is that the best you can do?

 

It seems so as you make your way to the bathroom. Laura Hollis tells you that you look beautiful and you flee from her as if you were a teenager in the midst of puberty when your crush finally notices you. Where’s the renowned publicist Carmilla Karnstein, business woman of the year, mother and lady killer extraordinaire? All these qualities fly out the window as soon as the blond looks at you.

 

 

 

**Laura**

There’s no better sight to wake up than to see the two girls whispering and giggling together. Unless, of course, a sleepy Carmilla and you doing the same thing or something a little more daring.

 

Really, Laura Hollis? You’re sitting beside your daughter and Hayley, and you can only think of her mother in a non-PG way? Behave yourself!

 

A moment later, Sloan is laughing as Hayley tickles you. Sloan has never laughed so much. Your daughter doesn’t usually like these type of games, ever. At least, not before getting to know Hayley. Feeling a little ashamed, you erase any impure thoughts about Carmilla and concentrate on enjoying this moment with your daughters.

 

Your daughter! Your daughter and Hayley.

 

But she feels so like yours too.

 

After a few minutes, Hayley remembers her cat and asks you for some milk to feed it.

 

While you’re getting the milk from the refrigerator, Hayley asks you for one of the cookies that she sees on top of the kitchen cupboard.

 

Your cookies. Cookies that you don't share with anyone.

 

But it’s Hayley that’s asking. What’s more, you let her take as many as she wants, showing that she’s addicted to sugary foods like you. She grabs as much as she can fit into her tiny hands and runs away, but not before challenging Sloan to a race upstairs. Sloan only raises one of her eyebrows before chasing after her.

 

Heading back to the living room, your eyes meet up with the most beautiful vision since the time you first laid eyes on your daughter. Carmilla is still asleep on the couch. Completely lost in the arms of Morpheus and once again you notice the similarity to Sloan.

 

Her black hair falls over her face in just the right way to highlight the perfection of her features. The warm light of mid-afternoon that enters through the window seems to caress her pale skin, making your hands itch with longing to stroke it.

 

You approach the couch slowly, and you’re about to call her when she begins to murmur in her sleep. She seems to get more anxious, and you’re uncertain of what to do until you see the desperation in her face and hear her call out a woman’s name. The name that you recognize as the one LaFontaine mentioned to you. Her former girlfriend and possible wife.

 

You sit beside Carmilla hand and call her name softly, trying to wake her up without frightening her. Even during dreams, she calls you by the same nickname as she gives Hayley, possibly confusing you with her. Despite her obvious distress, you still can’t help feeling that it would be nice if she were saying it to you instead.

 

Are you certain that she’s talking about her daughter though? She mentions that she’ll never abandon her and your heart aches a little at this claim. Why would Carmilla need to reassure her daughter that she’ll never leave her behind? You push that thought to one side when she opens her eyes in a panic before she gradually calms down.

 

A few minutes pass that make you almost combust next to her; her hand on your cheek, the sleepy voice on awakening and a soulful yet fragile look in her eyes make you realize that this woman has just turned your world upside down.

 

In typical Hollis fashion, you manage to put your foot in your mouth and blurt out that you've been watching her sleep, so now she probably thinks you’re some sort of peeping tom!

 

At first, Carmilla doesn’t seem to appear to notice that comment. But a second later you’re uncertain when her gaze turns challenging. Yes, well. Now not only does she think you're an idiot, but that you are a depraved pervert who gets their kicks from staring at sleeping women. Perfect!

 

Your cheeks couldn’t possibly be redder when she asks where the girls are.

 

You offer a coffee after a few moments of awkward silence, and in the most adorable manner, Carmilla accepts. She asks to use your bathroom because she says she feels a mess.

 

Okay, you realize your brain has absolutely no filter when your mouth spits a desperate  _'You look beautiful, as always'_ in response to Carmilla’s assertion. Mentally, you face-palm. From bad to worse, Hollis.

 

Carmilla lets the comment pass and heads to your bathroom. When she leaves, you finally feel you can breathe again, and you take the time to bury your face in one of the sofa cushions.

 

 _"_ Worst crush ever," you groan, before rising to prepare the coffee you offered Carmilla.

 

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

As soon as you leave the bathroom, you hear the girls talking and giggling and some satisfied purring from Bagheera. Curious, you peek into the room where the sound is coming from.

 

Your daughter is lounging on Sloan’s bed, listening raptly to the black-haired girl read from a book that you recognize as  _'The Little Prince'_ while giggling slightly. Hayley is covered with cookie crumbs and devours another one as you watch. Normally, you’d put a stop to that straightaway. Normally yes, but she looks so happy with Sloan, that you haven’t the heart to do it. But you still make a mental note of telling SJ to make up for that in next week's meals.

 

Sloan is immersed in a black (obviously) armchair pouf in the form of a star, with a book in one hand while the other hand gently stroked the kitten resting peacefully on her legs.

 

None of the girls seems to notice your presence, and you sigh, thinking about how wonderful it would be if this were a recurring moment in your life. Immediately, you realize what’s missing from this picture.

 

Laura! Laura is waiting for you downstairs. You move slowly but quietly past the room so as not to disturb the girls.

 

In the kitchen, Laura is standing beside the island, looking absently out the window and holding a cup of what you assume is not coffee judging by the amount of chocolate on top.

 

You pause for a moment to admire the room. The soft light that enters through the window shines directly on Laura, making her blond hair glow in such a way, that you notice every subtle tone in it. Your vision is transfixed on her lips; delicate, soft pink lips that you fantasize brushing against yours.

 

You feel a sudden urge to walk up behind and take her in your arms, to rest your chin on her shoulder and pepper her neck and jaw with kisses until you reach those lips. Those lips that will drive you mad with desire if you don't kiss them soon.

 

Calm the fuck down, Karnstein! Her daughter is upstairs with yours. You can't have these sorts of thoughts about Sloan's mother. It’s not appropriate.  

 

Or can you? It’s clear now that the Sasquatch is only Laura’s best friend. Also, judging by the conversation you overheard while waiting for the pizza, Xena has a boyfriend. So that means Laura and her are not a couple. And so far, nothing in the house seems to indicate that there is a significant other in her life. Cut this shit out, Carmilla!

 

Clearing your throat gets Laura’s attention and makes her jumps slightly before she turns to face you.

 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," you mumble.

 

"Carm! You’re back. Sorry, I was just daydreaming. Here’s some coffee, I don't know how you take it, so I put the sugar on the table so that you make it to your liking and I wasn’t sure if you wanted some cream in it, but if you did I’m sorry to say that there isn’t anyway. I’m not a fan of coffee, and I only have it at home for visitors because my friends say that hot chocolate at my age is childish…."

 

That smile, tinged this time with sadness is going to be the death of you. You take a few steps forward to and rest your arms on the kitchen island.

 

"Laura, it’s okay. Breathe. Black coffee is perfect."

 

Despite your smile, the worry doesn’t leave her face.

 

"Laura, are you okay **?"**

 

She seems to be touched by your concern, and her smile relaxes a little.

 

 _"_ I'm fine, Carm. Thanks for asking," she replies shyly.

 

Right now, you just want to hug her to cheer her up. But you don't, so take a seat at the counter to drink your coffee.

 

There is another awkward silence between the two of you that you wish one of the girls would break. Or maybe a call from your cell phone or Laura’s charming rambling. Or anything at all.

 

“Carm… Who Is Ell?"

 

Okay, anything but that.

 

You almost spit out the coffee when she says _her_ name. You try to answer, but your mind goes blank, and you can’t find the words.

 

"I'm sorry, Carm. I didn't want to bother you. You don’t have to answer. It's just that you called out that name when you were dreaming and I… I'm sorry. Forget it. I’m an idiot."

 

"No, Laura, you're not."

 

It’s the only thing that you’re able to say. You don’t want Laura feeling guilty about upsetting you. It’s not her fault or yours. The blame lies with the bitch who owns that name.

 

"Really, it’s okay, Carm. You don't have to talk about it. Unless you want to, but I think that you don't. It’s not as if we were friends or something. I was wrong to ask, and I’m sorry."

 

"Ell is my wife."

 

Her reaction is even worse than you feared. Laura’s jaw drops and her disappointment is palpable.

 

"Well, my ex-wife."

 

Finally, you’re able to breathe and notice that Laura seems a lot happier about your clarification.

 

 _"_ Carm, seriously. You don't have to tell me anything..."

 

And that’s the moment when your brother decides to text you. You ask Laura for a few minutes and go outside to clear your head. It’s make-your-mind-up time. Do you need to speak about your ex-wife with Laura? Could you tell your story to this woman that you’ve only just met, and who you know nothing about, but about whom you’re dying to know everything?

 

 _Ell is my wife._ What were you thinking?! The perfect way to seduce Laura, Karnstein.

 

No, not seduce. You don't want to seduce Laura Hollis. You want to woo her. Does wooing sound better? Oh God, you’re getting worse!

 

For the moment, maybe it’s better to direct your attention to your brother’s message.

 

**_Willyboy:_ **

 

_Mom sends her greetings. She will be in the city in the coming weeks. She wants to know if it is possible to have all four of us together for dinner. I think she really just wants to see Hayley_

 

**_Kitty-Carm:_ **

 

_ Dinner with mother, always a great way to spend an afternoon. You’re full of good news. _

 

**_Willyboy:_ **

 

_ Oh! Bad humor and sarcasm. Not unusual for you, but I thought you were with your beloved Laura and that you would be happy. Oh! Is the amazon wife there? _

 

**_Kitty-Carm:_ **

 

_ Not that it’s any of your business, but she’s not her wife. Or girlfriend. Just her best friend. And no. We’re alone. _

 

 

You're walking across the porch as you reply to your brother.

 

 

 

**_Willyboy:_ **

 

_ WOW! What’s the problem then? What are you waiting for, Kitty? I thought you had a plan. What’s with the bad vibes? _

 

**_Kitty-Carm:_ **

 

_ We fell asleep watching a movie (don't even go there, our daughters were with us) and I dreamed about $%#"( _

 

You can’t even bring yourself to type  _ her _ name.

 

 

 

**_Willyboy:_ **

 

_ Oh, no! Not the ex from hell again. Look, Carmilla, you’re with a woman that you like and judging by the way you speak of her, someone you're interested in. She’s the only one that I have seen for a long time that turns you into a lovesick kitten. _

 

**_Kitty-Carm:_ **

 

_ Love? Will, no one said anything about love! _

 

Liar. You just said that you wanted to woo Laura; that means you want her to fall for you. Doesn’t it?

 

Shut up, Brain!

 

**_Willyboy:_ **

 

_ Kitty. Stop brooding over the past for once and open your eyes. You may find what you’re looking for is right in front of you. _

 

 

Maybe your brother is right. You do what he asks, and you raise your eyes to look through the window.

 

Perhaps, you can look forward to a different future. 

 

Maybe even a future with Laura?

 

 


	10. Good night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura feels that she has no chance with Carmilla. But could she be wrong?
> 
> Carmilla finally comes to a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Creampuffs! So, I updated this on friday but for some reason, there was an error when I did so, here it is again, sorry if you already read this one :)

>  

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

“Ell Is my wife,” Carmilla says, and you suddenly forget how to breathe.

Y our surprise does not go unnoticed by her, though. ‘Ex-wife’ she adds, and you sigh in relief. Thank you, Universe. You refuse to admit how bad you would have felt if she hadn’t clarified that. It’s not as if you’re hoping to get to know her better; after all, you don't need to go out with the most eligible woman in the city.

 

Carmilla seems uncomfortable though, and you understand that it is not an easy topic to talk about: Why did you even bring this up? It is not as if you and Carmilla have that sort of relationship; you’ve only met because both of your daughters are friends. In fact, this is the first time that you’ve spent any length of time alone with her without being interrupted, whether by the girls or for some other reason.

 

But if you’re honest with yourself, the name that escaped from Carmilla’s lips was a painful reminder of something you’d denied yourself for the last few years.

 

Perhaps the loneliness that you’ve felt throughout this time is starting to take its toll, even though you refuse to admit that you’re a lonely person. It is true that your life has been busy ever since Sloan was born and that your friends have always been there for you. Also, your father still plays an important part in your life; but until you met Carmilla, you hadn’t felt this longing to share your day to day life with someone else.

 

When Carmilla excuses herself to answer a message on her cell phone, you go back to the thoughts you were having before she disturbed you in the kitchen.

 

While looking out the window to your back garden, you were thinking about how different it would be to have someone to share your life with. It would be nice to talk about simple things such as your day at work, the weather, the dog you saw on your way home; even something like that today was the first time you ever heard your daughter laugh so freely. Of course, you can do those things with your friends; you can always message or call them , or pay them a visit. But afterward, they return to their life, and you go to your bedroom, close the door, and you’re on your own. There is no one else in your bed waiting for you to fall asleep in her arms. There is nobody with whom to share a caress, a thought, a kiss, a tender goodnight.

 

There is no one else. You’re alone.

 

While thinking in this vein, you can feel Carmilla’s gaze on you. For some reason, this makes you feel warm and fuzzy. You don't turn to acknowledge her yet because you feel that if you do she’ll look away. As silly and pathetic as it seems, the feel of her eyes on you makes you happy.

 

You’re definitely pathetic, Hollis!

 

Now that Carmilla’s back, she seems lighter, more relaxed. There’s even a slight smile on her face, and you don't know whether to feel relieved or not. You can’t help thinking of all the messages that she’d had received that morning, all from different women.

 

Has she made another conquest? Who is it that made her so happy? Who is that makes her forget all about Ell? It hurts to realize that there is someone to help Carmilla forget what tormented her sleep and even make her smile. It hurts to think that it isn’t you.

 

Before Carmilla comes back to the kitchen, you realize that there is no way that this woman is interested in you. Carmilla Karnstein is not for you.

 

"I'm sorry, my brother had something important to tell me. You know how brothers can be a real pain in the butt."

 

For some strange reason, the door that seemed closed a few seconds ago seems to have opened again. But it’s tentative and fragile.

 

"Don’t worry about it. It’s hard for me to understand as I’m an only child, but I think I would have loved having a brother."

 

Carmilla smiles a little more, and you feel that the atmosphere has lightened considerably. At the same time, you realize how easy it is to open up to Carmilla, and you become a little more hopeful.

 

After two cups of coffee for Carmilla and some hot chocolate for you, both of you spend the next few hours talking about banal and easy things such as your jobs and daughters.

 

Eventually, Sloan arrives in the kitchen with Bagheera in her arms to announce that Hayley had almost fallen asleep in her room while she was reading.

 

Suddenly you remember you had promised Sloan you’d speak with Carmilla about the possibility of Hayley having a sleepover with her. A promise you’d forgotten after spending so long being distracted by Carmilla’s eyes while you were chatting, or maybe it was her lips? Either way, it slipped your mind.

 

"I think that it’s time for us to leave," says Carmilla regretfully.

 

Sloan looks at you urgently, and you look back at her apologetically, trying to let her know that you don't want Carmilla to go either and accepting that you got distracted.  

 

"No! I mean, Carm, Sloan and I wanted to know if we could have a sleepover tonight. I’m so sorry, I’ve meant to ask you since this morning, but I completely forgot.  We'd love it if Hayley stayed for the night."

 

Carmilla seems to be amused at your rambling and your face is probably as red as a tomato, but the only thing that matters now is to stop Hayley and her mother leaving.

 

She seems to consider the idea for a moment.

 

"A sleepover? We didn't bring a change of clothes. Sorry, kiddo," replied Carmilla to Sloan.

 

Your chest feels as if a building just collapsed on top of it. Not just because Carmilla and Hayley must leave, but also because you’ve let your daughter down.

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

After Will’s call, everything seems clearer. At least, less turbulent than before. The sudden intrusion of  _her_ between Laura and you seems to vanish. You don’t need the thought of her interfering when you have the sweetest woman that you’ve met in front of you, much less talk about something you've avoided for so many years.

 

You and Laura talk happily about everything and nothing. There is something about Laura Hollis that makes you want to spend more time with her. It doesn’t matter if the greater part of the same is with Laura talking about things like how a new intern dropped a boom mic, making one of the most recognized anchor women in the country scream like a little girl during a live broadcast. You can’t stop laughing after she tells that story.

 

To be fair, you let Laura do most of the talking, and you have only made a few comments as she’s talking about her work mostly.

 

When Sloan and Laura ask you to stay for the night, you don't know how to react. At first, you think it’s a good excuse to spend more time with them. But as soon as the thought crosses your mind of staying the night at Laura’s house, you realize it’s not that easy.

 

Okay, no one has said that you need to sleep with her, but you don’t think that you can trust yourself not to yield to temptation. There’s a part of you that wants to do things the right way with Laura. You don't want to push your luck with her. You don't want to ruin any of the small steps you have taken with her today.

 

Sloan's face drops as soon as you say you can’t stay and it makes you feel so guilty when you realize how attached she has become to your daughter and how much she needs Hayley in her life. You can’t do this to Sloan.

 

You know how hard it is to feel alone and not accepted by the world around you. But an idea occurs to you.

 

"Hey, kiddo. I’ll tell you what. If it’s okay with your Mom, how about Hayley and Bagheera stay here tonight, and I’ll pick them up in the morning?”

 

Sloan's face lights up with a smile, and your heart melts a little more. You put an arm around her shoulder as she looks expectantly at Laura. It goes without saying that she puts on her best puppy expression.

 

Laura smiles at her pout and agrees immediately.

 

"Of course! Sloan can give some of her pajamas to Hayley, and Bagheera already has his bed here. I promise that we will take very good care of them."

 

"I'm sure you will," you reply with a smile.

 

You’re unsure why you want to reassure Laura that you trust her, but you do.

 

Sloan runs from the kitchen immediately to give Hayley the good news, and you smile at the happiness that overflows from the girl.

 

"Thank you _,”_ Laura says as Sloan disappears from the kitchen. Her smile is so grateful that although you don’t feel like you’ve done anything extraordinary, you’d gladly do anything to see it on her lips again.

 

You smile back before following Sloan to say goodnight to your daughter. Judging by the noise from the room and her excitement, she seems to be awake and even more energetic than normal. But she promises you she’ll be on her best behavior.

 

Sloan is looking anxiously for some pajamas for your daughter and Hayley squeals with delight to see that she’s getting a deep blue pair with a pattern of stars. Your daughter runs to the bathroom to change but not before giving Sloan a hug and a kiss on the cheek that makes her blush the same way her mother does.

 

When she notices your smile and raised eyebrow, she tries to look the other way to hide her embarrassment.

 

You take your leave of both girls after Sloan changed into their own pajamas; they’re the same style as the ones she gave Hayley, only that they’re black and the top is emblazoned with an electric guitar.

 

Both are lying on the bed when you embrace Hayley, giving her a kiss on the forehead to wish her good night. Sloan looks shyly at you when you do this. Without thinking, you beckon to her.

 

"Come here, kiddo. You won’t escape that easily."

 

Hayley giggles as Sloan gets up to hug you. You give her a kiss on the forehead too.

 

"Good night, Cupcake. Good night, Kiddo," you say before tucking them in.

 

When you look up again, you can see Laura leaning on the door frame. Maybe it’s your imagination, but her eyes seem to shine, and you can’t help noticing the way they seem to reflect the moonlight. She wishes the girls good night like you did except she embraces both girls at the same time and her kisses are more playful.

 

You don't know the reason, but you wait for Laura and hold the door open to let her out first, before following her downstairs. Chivalry is not dead, and Laura Hollis makes you want to prove it.

 

At the front door, you remember your brother's words, the events of that day and Laura’s smile of farewell finally gives you the courage to ask her the question that’s been on your mind.

 

"Laura, do you want to go for a drink with me? Obviously, not today. Some day. Alone. Not a playdate. Just you and me. On a date.”

 

Okay, maybe spending a full day with Laura has made you ramble just like her. Of course, that must be it. It in no way means that you are nervous to ask her out. That’s just nonsense. You've done it countless times with many different women. This is no different.

 

Although it is.

 

Laura stays silent for what seems like an eternity, and your palms begin to sweat. Maybe it’s warmer than you thought? You’re not nervous, definitely not. Laura is gazing at you, and you have no idea what to do. She hasn’t moved an inch, and the nervousness and expectation are slowly killing you. As slowly as those moments pass when Laura Hollis remains silent.

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

 

When Carmilla says she can’t stay over that night, you try to hide your disappointment as best as you can.

 

But the look you get from her and Sloan when she asks if Hayley and Bagheera can stay until the following afternoon is so endearing that the whole of Hogwarts couldn’t make you refuse them. Suffice to say, that you’d never deny anything to your daughter, but you feel that you’d do anything that Carmilla asked you if it made her happy. Whatever it was.

 

You agree without thinking twice, and the joy in your daughters face almost makes up for the disappointment that Carmilla can’t stay too. Both leave to give Hayley the good news, and after cleaning up the kitchen, you follow them to Sloan’s room.

 

By the time you arrive, the girls are already dressed in their pajamas and Carmilla is wishing them good night. It’s a heartwarming sight mainly because Carmilla hugs your daughter, gives her a kiss on the forehead and Sloan returns the hug so willingly.

 

The whole scene is so domestic that it makes you that little bit more hopeful again.

 

When Carmilla is ready to leave, you try to delay her departure as much as possible. Carmilla says goodbye, thanks you for taking care of Hayley and lets you know that she’ll collect her and Bagheera tomorrow.

 

But she doesn’t leave yet, and although your mind is working overtime, you’re struck dumb when she speaks to you again.

 

Carmilla is standing in front of you, asking you out. On a date?

 

Not a playdate, just the two of you!

 

It’s a date! Carmilla Karnstein is asking you on a date, and your stupid brain can’t even process it enough to say yes. Just one simple word. That’s all you need to say. Say it, Laura. Say yes!

 

Carmilla begins to rub her hands through her jeans, and you still haven’t given her an answer. Looking disappointed, the black-haired girl begins to walk toward her car. When she’s halfway there, you finally manage to get the word out.

 

"Yes!"

 

Carmilla turns and walks back until she’s standing in front of you again.

 

"Great, we can arrange a time tomorrow when I collect Hayley,” she replies with a smile.

 

You nod like a fool because you still can’t believe that she asked you out and that you said yes. You and Carmilla have a date. Not a play-date, an actual date. If she weren't in front of you making you forget how your body works, you’d do your infamous Hollis happy dance.

 

In your mind, you do. Because you have a date with Carmilla!

 

"Well, I think I better be going," says Carmilla, walking back to her car. Her figure is illuminated by the moonlight, and you can’t take your eyes off her.

 

After only a few steps, Carmilla turns, and her last words before her departure make you feel weak in the knees.

 

"Good night, Cupcake."

 

Those three little words make your brain short-circuit. That’s all it takes to make you, Laura Hollis, speechless for the first time in your life.

 

When you finally gather your thoughts, you step inside your house, lock it and review the last few minutes.

 

You have a date with Carmilla. You have a date with Carmilla Karnstein and the biggest smile blooms on your face.

 

Taking your cell phone from one of your jean pockets, you look for Carmilla’s contact details. You write a short message, and after a few seconds of contemplation, you send it. You hope with all your all your heart that this will not be the last time you say those words to Carmilla and imagine what it would be like to say them to her in person.

 

 

**_Laura:_ **

 

_Good night, Carm._

 

 


	11. Survival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla fears for her heart. 
> 
> Laura fears for her life.

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

_"Yes!"_

 

That’s the answer you hear in the distance as you try to hide the smile on your face. The key word being 'try.'

 

Laura says nothing else, and only nods eagerly when you promise to arrange everything for the date (a date with Laura Hollis!) when you pick up Hayley and Bagheera the following afternoon.

 

A few blocks from Laura’s house, you decide to take a diversion. You need to collect your thoughts and absorb what just happened, so you go to the one place that throughout your life has been your sanctuary. It’s a woodland area of the local park, perhaps the only part of the city that you love more than anything in the world.

 

In the darkness of the night, you recognize your favorite space. It’s a solitary tree in a clearing, the same tree that sheltered you during the most important or worst moments of your life. You found it that first day that you needed to flee from all around you when your father had decided to leave his family behind and chase the dreams of his youth. Or the time you discovered that your mother had forgotten your birthday for the first time in your life, with the excuse that her 'new boyfriend' was taking her away on a weekend break. It sheltered you under its branches when you realized your feelings for Ell went beyond friendship.

 

This tree has seen you during the times that Ell fought over every little thing, such as the way another classmate glanced at you or that insignificant compliment about your clothes that the girl in the local café paid you. It knows the things that you stopped doing, such as sketching everyday street and university scenes because once you included a detailed drawing of a beautiful woman sitting beside the campus lake. It’s seen you neglect your friends because of her jealousy. She couldn’t tolerate even the most innocent friendship between you and someone else. In those moments, of course, you did whatever she wanted, because you thought that was how love worked. You wanted to make her happy, even when it went against all your instincts.

 

The tree was your refuge when Ell left your life after years of a stormy relationship. It was here that you finally realized how poisonous that relationship was.

 

Bringing all these bitter memories to the surface almost makes you sick, and you can taste the bile in your mouth. But then you remember that Laura said ‘yes’ and the feeling disappears.

 

She said yes to you. Sitting at the foot of the leafy tree, hugging your knees to your chest and you’re smiling at the blonde’s response. Even so, your feelings are in turmoil. You want to take your brothers advice and leave the past behind, but you’re so afraid.

 

Although you don't know Laura that well, the little time that you’ve spent together convinces you that the blond would never hurt Hayley or you; but perhaps all the other people that have done so never intended to do that either.

 

They all said that they loved you and yet, they left without a backward glance.

 

Just as you turn your gaze toward the sky, you picture Will asking you ridiculous questions regarding your relationship with Laura. What relationship? Friendship, at least? Well, at least there’s that between Laura and you. Then, you feel your phone vibrating in your jacket.

 

 

**My forbidden love:**

 

_Good night, Carm._

 

You smile because there is nothing else you can do lately when you think about Laura Hollis.

 

But on the other hand, you remind yourself never to lend your phone to your brother again ‘for an important call.’ Because you’re going to kill him.

 

"You're an idiot," you yell at your brother as soon as he answers your call.

 

"And a good evening to you too. Sis. But what is it I’m supposed to have done now?’

 

"You changed Laura’s contact details to _My forbidden love!_ Are you serious?"

 

Your brother explodes in laughter, and your anger increases a little more. He’s so childish. Dealing with him sometimes is worse than trying to talk to Hayley during the latest Dr. Who episode. You could say the world is ending, but she won’t pay the slightest attention to you. Eventually, your brother recovers from his fit of laughter

 

"Okay, Okay. Perhaps I went a little far but hey! At least now I know that you're in touch with her. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have noticed the name."

 

Okay, maybe you didn’t think this through before calling your brother. In your mind’s eye, you can see your brother waggling his eyebrows as if to say, ‘caught you.’

 

As you try to smooth out the frown lines on your forehead, you wonder how you’re going to tell Will that you have a date with Laura.

 

Just like that, the mere thought relaxes you and makes you smile again. What the hell, just tell him!

 

"I have a date with Laura."

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

When you wake up the next morning something is different. You feel lighter, more carefree. And the first thing on your mind is the last thing you fell asleep thinking about. You have a date with Carmilla.

 

You haven’t the slightest idea what she has in mind, but one thing is sure. That fluttery feeling in your stomach is enough to make you smile foolishly without knowing anything more other than you get to some spend time with her. Alone.

 

Just then, a noise from the kitchen attracts your attention, and you hurry to the ground floor to see what’s happening. You discover Hayley on top of one of the counters of the breakfast area and opening one of the kitchen cabinets. She’s already placed a bottle of milk on the table, your favourite chocolate cereal and is currently trying to carry three breakfast bowls.

 

 _"_ Good morning, Laura. I tried to wake Sloan, but she only turned three times in bed before falling asleep again. I don't think she likes to wake up early and I was hungry, so I thought I'd bring you breakfast in bed. It’s what I do when Mom doesn’t wake up or when SJ isn’t coming to the house," she says as you approach her to make sure she doesn’t slip off the stool.

 

"Yeah, Sloan hates getting up early, unless it’s a school day. Although I don’t think that it’s because of classes, but because she gets to see you on those days," you reply with a wink and a laugh. Hayley blushes in response.

 

"It’s okay, I'm used to it. My mom also hates waking up early on the weekends. If she could, she’d sleep until five in the afternoon every day and do everything at night," she replies, and you’re fascinated again as you discover something new about Carmilla.

 

After feeding Bagheera and finally waking Sloan after several attempts, the three of you have breakfast in your bed while watching Vampire Diaries. Not however without your daughter passing several snarky comments about the episodes, saying how silly is that the vampires fall in love. Neither Hayley or you agree with this assertion. Sloan only turned a deaf ear to both of you when you refute her arguments. You and Hayley watch several more episodes while your daughter leaves to get her book and cuddles up to you while reading it. You know that she’s secretly enjoying the company; it’s not necessary to participate in the same activity if just being in the same place makes you happy. Your heart hasn’t felt this full in a long time.

 

After telling the girls to take a bath and change into clean clothes, you find a message on your phone, and you're almost certain who it is. Or at least who you’re hoping it’s going to be.

 

**Carm:**

 

_Good morning. I hope I’m not waking you._

 

**Laura:**

 

_Carm, it’s 2 in the afternoon_

 

**Carm:**

 

_ Sorry, I just woke up. I wanted to know at what time is convenient to pick up Hayley _ .

 

**Laura:**

 

_ Would 6 be okay? I want to take Bagheera to the park for a walk. _

 

**Carm:**

 

_ Laura, you are aware that Bagheera is a cat? They don't like being brought for walks, they’re independent creatures. _

 

**Laura:**

 

_ Even the most independent creatures can change, Carm. It's just a matter of love and care. _

 

**Carm:**

 

_ If you say so, Creampuff _ .

 

**Carm:**

 

_ I’ll be home at 6. _

 

**Carm:**

 

_ *Your Home. Stupid cell phone. I'm sorry. _

 

The smile you've had since you opened the eyes that morning gets bigger at the new nickname from Carmilla and you giggle when Carmilla recognizes the implications of her last comment. Although, honestly, part of you wants to believe that you could get that message and that ‘home' for Carmilla is one that you could share together.

 

Oh! Do you remember the fluttering in his stomach this morning? It’s back again and more intense than ever. As six o clock draws closer, it seems to get worse. May the gods have mercy on your soul! If this is how you feel at the thoughts of arranging the date, what are you going to be like on the actual date?

 

Calm down, Hollis! It’s not as if she asked you to marry her. 

 

Great! Now that thought alone makes your stomach feel even more nervous.

 

Well, your brain is not going easy on you today.

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

"Growth in our normal markets has been stagnant, and now we have a new product that we’re aiming at young people. The biggest challenge is to make them feel that it’s 'cool.’ Do you believe that your agency can make a floor cleaner something that will appeal to teenagers?"

 

"But of course! There is nothing that our creative team can't do. Isn’t that right, Carmilla? 

… Ahem, Carmilla? Karnstein!"

 

Someone kicks your leg, and you turn to find the culprit. Beside you is your assistant. Elsie nods to your boss who is waiting impatiently at the other side of the conference table. He doesn’t look happy.

 

You turn quickly and notice the screen is displaying a floor cleaner with a stupid name. For teens? For God's sake! Each time a new client thinks they know how to market something, another little piece of you dies inside.

 

After hours of analyzing the proposal and trying with all your might to convince the client that his idea wouldn’t work but that you have something more workable, you exit the meeting room completely frustrated.

 

"Carmilla?" What’s wrong with you today?"

“What are you talking about, Elsie?" you reply with a grumpy tone.

"All day long you've been distracted," she replies

"I don't know what you mean, I've been working hard all morning."

 

"We have just come out of a meeting where you didn’t listen to a word, and then you spent hours on an amendment that any trainee would do in three minutes. When the designer did the presentation, you didn’t yell at them even though the heading was ' _ SHP For Sale: 220 liter plastic drums _ ’ and could be read twenty blocks away. Your emails haven’t been answered, and account executives are sending more; shall I continue?"

 

You remain silent, not even aware that you had passed a blatant spelling and punctuation mistake. You, the grammar nazi. Elsie continues to stare at you in disbelief as you keep tapping your desk restlessly with your pen.

 

"It’s because of this date you have tonight, isn't it?"

 

You look at Elsie in confusion.

 

"How did you know…?"

 

_ " _ You forget that I am your personal assistant. I made the reservation, and I don’t think that a working dinner would make you this nervous. It’s true that in part I was disappointed not to be the one you’re taking out, but I never imagined the day would come when Carmilla Karnstein was almost dying of nerves because of another woman.”

 

Elsie leaves your office, and you’re still amazed at her words. Even if you wanted to claim that it has nothing to do with Laura, you can't do it. You know it's true. This very night, in a few hours, you’re going on your date with Laura Hollis and never have you felt so nervous and insecure. You're like a twelve-year-old again.

 

It’s a just a date! Get a hold of yourself, Karnstein!

 

Despite leaving work a few hours ahead of schedule, somehow you manage to catch up on all your work and leave everything in order. 

 

When you arrive home, Hayley, your brother, and SJ are on the couch in your living room watching TV.  Your daughter is sitting between Will and SJ, although you notice that your brother's arm is resting on the back of the couch suspiciously close to your housekeeper. You pretend not to notice when he moves it as you enter the room. More than anything, you don’t want SJ to feel awkward. But of course, you have enough blackmail material to tease your brother. He’s been spending a lot more time at your house lately, and now you’ve witnessed the reason why. You smile a little because this was something that you had desired for a long time. Even though your brother can be annoying, you know he’s earned this opportunity.

 

He deserves happiness with someone like SJ. Someone who will love him for all his strengths and weaknesses, with the ability to notice beyond what others see on the face we all present to the world. Someone who can love him unconditionally and who wouldn’t leave at the first opportunity to do so. Real love.

 

You truly believe Will deserves it. But do you? Do you deserve to be with someone like that? Someone like Laura Hollis?

 

After tucking Hayley in and giving her a good night kiss, you prepare to leave for your date. But not before threatening your brother with a gruesome death if he even breathes a word about it.

 

Thankfully, Will appreciates living too much to make any comment.

 

When you get in your car, you check the glove box to make sure the small package is still there. It’s wrapped in paper that’s decorated with small stars. It’s the fifth time you’ve done this today, but well, one can never be sure. It’s always possible that someone could look for and steal the exact package that is stored in your glove box. Very possible.

 

Taking a deep breath, you look in the mirror one last time before starting your vehicle. All you have to do is pick up one last thing before collecting Laura.

 

_ Tonight’s the night, Karnstein! _

 

**Laura**

 

When Carmilla tells you that she’ll pick you for dinner the following Friday, all you can do is smile and blush. You feel that you could die of nervousness!

 

But she rings the bell, you open the door and see Carmilla leaning against the doorframe with her arms behind her back. She’s dressed in tight black jeans that seem to hug her curves and a white tank top that clings to her torso in the most perfect way; which, honestly, should be classified as illegal. She’s also wearing a long black blazer that almost reaches to mid-thigh with the sleeves pulled halfway up her forearms, and combat boots that make her look like the most desired oasis in the middle of the desert.

 

You’re sure this woman is going to be the death of you. What you’re not so sure of is whether you’re against the idea.

 

"Hey, Creampuff," she says with a smile

 

"Hello, Carm."

 

The vision in front of you makes your voice sound three times higher than it normally would. You don't know what else to say and Carmilla and your stare at each other for what seems like an eternity, until the black-haired girl has the audacity to break the silence.

 

"Ahm, Sloan is already in bed?"

 

You manage to hide your disappointment because you don't expect the first thing she’d do is ask for your daughter, you thought that this was about the two of you; but of course, you're still touched by her interest in Sloan.

 

"Sloan is staying with some friends of mine. I thought that… I… like you said that without the girls… and I didn't know at the time that we would… I can't leave her alone at home…"

 

"Laura, it’s okay. I just brought a small gift for her."

 

Carmilla stops your rambling with her characteristic raised eyebrow and smirk. Your legs feel like water, and your heart skips a little more because of Carmilla’s attentiveness to Sloan

 

She hands you a small package that’s wrapped in blue tinted paper covered with stars of various sizes. By the feel of it, you realize that it’s a book. You don't have the slightest idea of what it is, but you’re sure Sloan will love it. And you can't feel feeling the same way about Carmilla when your heart beats a little faster again. You may have to make an appointment with the doctor after this because there’s no earthly way it should be beating like that. That is, of course, if you live through this night.

 

"It's nothing special, really. It’s one of my favorite books, and I thought that Sloan would like it," says Carmilla casually, when she hands it to you. “When I was here the other day, I noticed she didn’t have it in their collection. I hope she likes it. It’s ‘Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea."

 

"Carm, you didn’t have to go to that trouble. I’m sure Sloan will appreciate it. She doesn’t have this one, so I’ll give it to her tomorrow.”

 

Taking the book in your hands, you turn to leave it on the table in the entry hall.

 

When you turn back to Carmilla, you’re certain that she’s committed to destroying your sanity.

 

Carmilla is standing in front of you with a small bouquet of white flowers. You can’t say what sort they are, but it’s the most beautiful one you have ever seen.

 

“These are for you,” she says.

 

A tear almost escapes from your eye. You couldn't ask for more from this date and Carmilla’s only been here two minutes.

 

Internally, you beg the universe for strength to get through this night, because there’s no other way you’re going to live through this date.

 

 

_ You're not going to survive, Hollis! _

 

 

 

 


	12. The Best View in the City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla believes she has planned the best first date ever.
> 
> Laura believes that she’s living through the best first date ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They wrapped the filming time today, uh? ugh! I still can't believe we have to wait till autumn to see our gorgeous girls (Dominique included ;)) anywaaaaay...
> 
> This chapter is a little longer than the others because... well, basically, because simply who doesn't love Hollstein together?
> 
> *Spoiler* The date is divided into two chapters because... because I'm an asshole who loves the suspense and excitement :D
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you for the kudos, comments and other. 
> 
> And thanks a lot to the greatest beta in the world, Niall you're an angel =)
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy your weekend, Creampuffs!
> 
>  
> 
> xoxo
> 
>  
> 
> Mckie!

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

It’s risking certain death to drive through this city on a Friday night. You are aware of this, but for tonight, you think that you can tolerate it for the sake of surprising Laura.

 

Before arriving at her house, you make a brief visit to your older sister. She’s been in the city for a few days dealing with the scandal in the Prime Minister’s office and is stunned when you contact her two days before the date to ask for a favor.

 

"This must be someone very special, Munchkin?"

 

"Are you going to give me the keys, yes or no?"

 

"WOW! That’s not the right way to ask for a favor."

 

You mutter something under your breath.

 

"Excuse me, Carmilla? I didn’t quite catch that. Could you repeat it?"

 

"Mattie, please could you give me the damn keys so that I can leave here and not have to look at your smug face a moment longer?"

 

"You're such a dear. I’m sure that the woman with whom you are going out tonight won’t be able to resist your charms," she replies sarcastically while handing you a pair of key cards.

_ _ _   
_

"Thanks, I learned from the best."

 

"Just make sure they’re back here at eight in the morning, you little monster. If Mother learns of this, she’ll kill me, and I’ll come back from the dead to kill you and your date.”

 

Laughing, you hug your sister goodbye. The relationship you have is not the closest, partly because she went away to university when you were still young. When your relationship with your ex began, your sister was the first one to warn you about her. Unfortunately, you were so blinded by your feelings for your girlfriend that the distance between Mattie and you only increased. But in the end, Will and her were the only ones who supported you when the blonde disappeared from your life.

But when you left your sister, something happened that you still can't stop thinking about.

 

***

 

 

_ When you came out of your sister’s office, you spotted the place you visited the most during your first year of marriage. After she left, you never set foot in it. _

 

_ Entering the store, you realized you had no idea what to buy. The owner came over to ask what you wanted, and you answered honestly that you didn't know. Miraculously, the woman recognized you after so many years. Surprised, you asked her how she did. _

 

_ "You ordered a bouquet of yellow tulips, every week for more than a year. Delivered always to the same address,” she answers with a smile. You found yourself smiling too at her good memory even though it referred to that time in your life. _

 

_ "So, do you need a bouquet of tulips?" she asked. _

 

_ You shook your head. This was not in your plans, but you checked your watch and realized you had a few minutes to spare. _

 

_ "There’s someone else, isn’t there?" _

 

_ You nodded while looking around in search of something that you consider worthy of Laura. _

 

_ "You’re not cheating on your wife, are you?" _

 

_ Again, you shook your head. _

 

_ "So, what do you like about this new girl?" _

 

_ When you shrug, she finally asked, “What's the occasion?" _

_ "It’s our first date." _

_ For a moment, you thought that this was the best conversation you had with another human being who wasn’t family, a work colleague or Laura. And you’d hardly said more than a few words. _

 

_ She looked at you for a moment and then asked you to tell her all about the woman you’re meeting tonight. After listening for a few minutes, she leads you to the counter. _

 

_ "I think this is the best choice for you." _

 

_ Your first reaction was one of disdain. The flower that she showed you was small, simple and the most boring thing of all? It was white.  _

 

_ "Don't look at me like that. I can explain everything." _

 

_ "You have a good reason for this?" _

 

_ "I'm going to tell you how I knew that your first marriage was going to fail and why these flowers are the best choice." _

 

 

***

 

 

As you stroll towards Laura’s house, you realize that your palms are sweaty. Which is awkward as your hands are full and you can only hope that what you’re carrying isn’t ruined.

 

When Laura opens the door, you realize that paying attention to the florist was the right decision. You try to remain calm so that she doesn’t notice how nervous you are. As you take in the sight of her, you think that if angels exist, then Laura Hollis must be one.

 

She’s dressed in a sleeveless emerald green dress that shows off a pair of well-toned arms. It almost makes you think that maybe you should sleep less and start working out at a gym if these are the results. It has a V-cut that allows you to appreciate the beauty of her collarbones and the top of her cleavage. The dress seems to cling to her curves and ends around mid-thigh, giving you the opportunity to check out her shapely legs. Okay, maybe you should take up exercise yourself. Her calves are accentuated by black shoes with a small heel, but she’s still a little shorter than you which you’re grateful for.

 

If there’s a God in heaven, you’re grateful to them for creating such visual poetry.

 

Her eyes almost light up in excitement and shine like the honey that reflects the first rays of the morning. Her hair is styled, but in a charmingly disorderly way and you smile to yourself at how it seems to emphasize that characteristic tint of her cheeks

 

Laura turns to leave Sloan’s gift on a table and God! It would be an insult to the good taste if you didn’t take this opportunity to admire her ass. These are probably the best utilized seconds of your life.

 

When you present her with the bouquet, her eyes seem to light up even more if that was possible.

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

After thanking Carmilla for the flowers, you go to your kitchen to place the bouquet in one of the vases. You cannot avoid inhaling their delicate fragrance one last time and smile again.

 

When you return to lock the front door, Carmilla extends her right arm to escort you to her car. She even opens the door for you and waits until you’ve fastened your seatbelt before closing it again.

 

Carmilla’s manners make makes it seem as if she had been born hundreds of years ago when courtesy and respect was the way to attract a woman’s favor. But you don’t feel that she needs to do it for you.

 

The journey is brief, but Carmilla and you enjoy talking about her day at work and at home. You feel so happy to have someone with whom you can share your experiences with Sloan and understand you the way Carmilla does.

 

The restaurant Carmilla has chosen is one of the best in the city. You always wanted to try it but to go to an establishment so elegant with your daughter is hardly the most romantic way to spend a weekend.

 

The waitress brings the menu, and it is not difficult to notice how she almost drools over Carmilla. Her attempts to flirt with her are so obvious and pathetic that you can't do anything other than turning a blind eye to her constant smiles and suggestive winks.

 

The only thing comforting thing about it is that Carmilla doesn’t pay her any attention, as she’s too busy reviewing the menu, commenting on what’s available.

 

The women writes down everything Carmilla orders as if it was a prayer raised to heaven. Well, that's acceptable because you're as distracted as the waitress by Carmilla’s lips as she speaks. The difference for you is that your thoughts are far from sacred. The young woman is so bewitched by the vision that is Carmilla that she almost forgets to take your order. Luckily, Carmilla noticed.

 

Although you’re enjoying her company, you find it hard to relax here.  The restaurant is beautiful and elegantly lit up in such a way that it reminds you of a European castle. If you look around, you can see people dressed in their finery and perhaps the formality of this place is what makes you feel uncomfortable.

 

Carmilla is telling you a story about one of her clients when you receive your starters, and you suddenly realize that  _ carpaccio _ means that the fish you’ve been served is raw. Fortunately, Carmilla has asked for some smoked salmon blinis and without thinking twice, offers to exchange hers with yours when she notices your dismay.

 

If possible, the level of appreciation that you have for Carmilla has increased even further.

 

"Carmilla?"

 

An unfamiliar voice calls from the middle of the restaurant, and the two of you turn. A pair of leggy blondes is heading towards your table. For a split second, Carmilla’s face contorts in a annoyed expression, but it’s replaced almost immediately with a calm, neutral expression.

 

Almost.

 

"Fancy meeting you here! Do you remember Svetlana?" says brown-eyed, blonde number one. She has the sort of body that you’d never achieve even if your job allowed you to spend all day in the gym. You’re lucky sometimes if you’re able to do a few hours of yoga every week if you’re not dead tired by the time you get home. Blonde number one smiles from ear to ear as she approaches Carmilla who rises and greets her with a kiss on the cheek.

 

"Elsie, what a pleasure, I’m sure. I haven’t seen you since this afternoon at the office,” replies Carmilla carefully before she turns to blonde number two. Who by the way has not ceased to look you up and down while the first one has completely ignored you. If these are the sort of women that Carmilla is used to dating, you don't have a chance with her. Blonde number two has eyes that are a mix of blue and green, beautiful fine features, and her legs look as long as you’re tall. 

 

Where would you even go to meet such women?

 

"Good evening, Svetlana, long time no see. I didn't realize you were back in town."

 

"I suppose not because I never received a call after… the jeans commercial."

 

You don’t want to think about what blonde number two is implying, but it’s safe to assume that she isn’t referring to the commercial. But now you realize she’s a model. Which explains the long legs and a body that’s apparently sculpted by the gods.

 

Stupid short genes!

 

"Ah yes, I had forgotten that commercial,” replies Carmilla coldly.

 

"I could never forget it, much less the night after recording. I think I should be offended."

 

You roll your eyes, unable to credit the things that blonde number two is insinuating about her 'relationship' with Carmilla.

 

Carmilla says nothing more and your clear your throat because these two goddesses have caught the attention of the whole restaurant. You don’t think for a moment that you can compete with women like them.

 

"Elsie, Svetlana, let me introduce you to Laura Hollis," says Carmilla when you attract her attention.

 

Blonde number two looks surprised., You’d like to believe that it’s because your presence is imposing, but you get the impression that she’s sneering at you. She’s not hiding it very well either because, behind the fake smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, she’s looking at you as if you were an insect. Blonde number one, (Elsie?) was the name on Carmilla’s phone when she was in your house for the play date. But she barely acknowledges you even though she has enough manners to extend her hand to greet you.

 

"New girlfriend? I never thought I’d see you in a relationship," says Svetlana.

 

"Please! Carmilla doesn’t do relationships. That much should be clear to everyone,” replies Elsie, before Carmilla can respond.

 

"Maybe that’s because she’s finally found the right woman," you say, unable to stay silent for a moment longer.

 

Perfect, Hollis. Just because you feel intimidated by the beauty of these women does not mean that you have something to prove. Oh! You just make implied that you and Carmilla are girlfriends! That’s not what you meant to say. You try to recompose your words.  "You can relax, Carm and I aren’t together."

 

"Carm?" questioned the blonde number one, the one that is called Elsie and immediately you turn to Carmilla.

 

" Well, it was great meeting again I’m sure Svetlana, but I think you should go back to your table before you lose it," says Carmilla, completely ignoring Elsie.

 

"Yeah, they should!"

 

Woah there, Hollis! Seriously? There’s no better way for you to make a good impression on the first date than acting like a spoiled child. What’ll you do next, stick your tongue out at them? 

 

They’d deserve it.

 

Fortunately, none of the three women say anything about your comment although you think Carmilla is barely holding back her laughter. 

 

The women say goodbye, mainly to Carmilla, and are seated at their table. 

 

Which ‘mysteriously’ isn’t too far from yours.

 

Carmilla takes her seat again, and you excuse me yourself to use the bathroom. Of course, it’s gigantic, imposing and makes you feel even smaller. This night hasn’t gone the way you expected.

 

You decide to cool off and wait a few minutes so that your turmoil is less obvious to Carmilla. When you think of Elsie, you’re reminded of what LaFontaine told you about Carmilla. Are you just going to be another name on Carmilla’s list of women, another notch on her bedpost? It is not that you wouldn’t do it, but…

 

No! No, Hollis, no. You're not going to be just one more woman.

 

But you realize that Carmilla ignored the suggestive comments she received. That eases your uncertainty a bit and convinces you that she must have seen something more than the physical in you to bring you on this date. It’s not the most comforting idea, but at least you think she wouldn’t have asked you out if she wasn’t interested. 

 

As you walk back to your table, you notice that the waitress is back and flirting with Carmilla again. You take a deep breath, realizing it will be a long night and not for the reasons that you had imagined.

 

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

You did not expect to run into Elsie and Svetlana on your date with Laura. Of course, your assistant is shameless in showing you up by not only appearing at the restaurant that she booked for you but in the company of one of the advertising models you had a one-night-stand with. That’s the straw that’s broken the camel’s back. You wouldn’t have cared if you were with some other woman and charming her into your bed. This night was to be all about Laura, and you don't need her thinking that you just want bed her. Not Laura Hollis of all people.

 

When they leave, Laura excuses herself to go to the bathroom and your take the opportunity to ask for the main course. You couldn’t even enjoy your starter, but you decide to forget what happened a moment ago and salvage your dinner plans.

 

The waitress makes every lame innuendo known to man when she recommends the duck 'breasts' or the ‘sexy little Chateaubriand.' Seriously? Can't she at least try and think of more original material?

 

Laura returns to the table, and you smile. Although she returns the smile, you may notice something more. It’s hard to know if she’s angry about what happened with Elsie or maybe she hates the restaurant. Perhaps you’ve managed to ruin everything with her. You ask the waitress for a few more minutes so that Laura can decide what she wants to order and she leaves, but not before throwing you a wink. 

 

Seriously, could someone just teach this waitress how to flirt already?

 

You try to draw Laura’s attention to the menu but notice that she only glances at it. The blonde has a half smile on her lips but seems distracted.

 

"Everything okay, Creampuff?"

 

"Ahm… Yes, Carm. Everything’s perfect, thank you."

 

"Are you ready to order?"

 

"Uhm… No. I don't know what the main courses are and I don’t want the same thing to happen as with the starters. You should just order for me."

 

Laura looks tense and uncomfortable in her seat. For a moment, you think she’s about to get up from the table and leave. You can’t let that happen.

 

"How about a nice burger instead?"

 

Laura's face lights up, and it reminds you of your daughter when you purchase her the largest chocolate bar from the candy shop.

 

"That would be great. But I didn’t think they did burgers here."

 

"They don’t."

 

"Then what?" replies a confused Laura

 

"Let's get out of here, Creampuff. I know where they prepare the best burgers in the city and we still have time to get there before they close."

 

Laura gives you a delighted smile, and your heart is pounding as if you had just run a mile in two minutes. Is that even humanly possible? Who cares. You didn’t think that your heart was capable of beating this way anyway.

 

You pay the bill immediately, and when the waitress returned with the payment receipt, there’s another piece of paper with some numbers and a name written on it. Such class. You ignore it.

 

But Laura has cheered up, and you’re delighted to have made her smile again.

 

You park in the street not far from the city center. When you were in college and used to go out at night, mainly with her and her friends, there was no better place to end a party than Dean's Burgers. It’s an old food truck that almost no one knows about.

 

"I know it doesn’t look great and that it’s very different from the restaurant, but I promise you won’t get a better burger than here…"

 

"Carm, are you crazy? I don't mind eating from a food truck, and I love the smell of fast food."

 

"You haven’t seen anything yet because you’re really going to become addicted to these burgers. Although you’ll probably die from a cholesterol overdose after just one, but the flavor is unmatched."

 

Laura lets out a laugh. That laugh. The one that makes you smile like an idiot every time that it’s melodious symphony resonates in your ears.

 

To Laura’s surprise, you order your food to go. 

 

"But Carm, I told you that I don't mind eating outside."

 

"Hush, Creampuff. I have a much better idea for where we can eat our food."

 

The blonde seems intrigued by your answer but at the same time cannot prevent her moan of pleasure when the food is ready.

 

Taking the greasy paper bags full of the most mouth-watering smells in the world, you start walking. It’s only ten blocks away, and you don't want to waste any time looking for another place to park. Besides, it’s not a good idea to use the parking lot where you’re going.

 

Even though it’s a summer night, there’s a cold breeze and Laura with her dress is the one who suffers the most from it. You ask her to hold the takeaway bags, and you take off your blazer to put over her shoulders.

 

"Carm, no! You're going to freeze. I am fine, really, you don't have to..."

 

"Cupcake, Cupcake, it’s okay. You've been shivering for the past two blocks. It wouldn’t do to catch a cold in the middle of our date,” you say with a smile as you take back the food.  Laura thanks you and buttons up the jacket.

 

The building is the tallest one in the city and is lit up in the evening to let the ordinary people know that those that have offices here are part of the select few who run the country. It houses wealthy business men and women who boast of being multi-billionaire property developers. To you, it’s just a building made of bricks, iron, and glass that fails to compensate for the souls that these people lack.

 

Of course, your mother is one of them. You take the access cards that Mattie gave you and take the elevator to the top floor. What’s the point in having office space in the best building in the city’s business district, if you can’t also boast about having the best view of the city?

 

When you arrive at the conference room, you can see Laura almost jump with excitement as she observes the city view from the windows that extend from floor to ceiling.

 

"Carm! What are we doing here? Why do you have keys to the Morgan building? I thought we were going to dinner. Look at this view.  I can't believe that we’re up here. I think I can see my house from here!"

 

"Calm down, Creampuff. I don't want you dying on me from excitement because that would be my worst date ever. Mmm… except perhaps for the time when a girl vomited into my mother’s fishbowl at home."

 

Laura giggles again and you can't help but think that no matter how nerdy it sounds, you could listen to it forever.

 

After placing the food on the large meeting table, you open a hidden door that looks like part of the wall, but which you know leads to a private room. When your mother, Mattie or Will are working late, they use this room to grab a nap to recharge for an hour or two before continuing with their work. Fortunately, no one had to stay this evening. The case involving the Prime Minister’s office seems to be going well, and you’ve no doubt that your mother's law firm will bring it to a speedy resolution. You haven't even asked them about it and prefer not to do so. The less you know about your mother's business, the better.

 

You turn on the light, and you are going to one of the alcoves. Laura is standing in the doorway door watching your movements.

 

"Carm… I don't know what you were planning on here, but…"

 

For a moment, you don’t understand what Laura is getting at, but suddenly you realize that the only thing she knows is that she’s alone with you in the highest building in the city, and you have taken her to a private room with a big bed. So, you decide to have a little fun. You stop what you were doing and stand in front of her, almost pinning her against the door.

 

"Come on, Cutie. You're not going to tell me that you don’t know what’s going on here?" 

 

Laura’s expression is priceless. "Carm… I... ahm…"

 

It’s too much, and you can’t hold in your laughter any longer.

 

"Calm down, Creampuff. I only came in here to grab a few things we need for dinner," you say when you manage to stop laughing.

 

You’ve seen the blonde blush many times already, but you swear that none of them have compared to this. And Laura biting her lower lip; okay, now you’re thinking about the same thing as Laura was.

 

"Unless of course, you want to 'eat' here?" you say while pretending to give her your best seduction eyes.

 

"Carm!"

 

Laura gives you a small scolding slap when she stops blushing. You laugh and take two blankets from a white closet. The room also contains a small bar, and if there’s one thing you can rely on your mother for, it’s her good taste in alcohol. Only in alcohol though, her personal life is a disaster. While picking a bottle from the bar, you ask Laura to grab two pillows from the closet.

 

Laura also carries the food and follows you through the corridor, up the emergency stairs all the way to the dome at the pinnacle of the building.

 

When you arrive at the rooftop, you place one of the blankets on the ground and arrange the two pillows to make them more comfortable.

 

Laura runs immediately to the ledge to get a better view of the city while you wrestle with the champagne cork.

 

"Carm! It looks even more amazing from here. I can't believe that there’s a better view. It’s so beautiful.”

 

“Very beautiful,” you say as you gaze at Laura.

 

 

But the view around is nothing when you have the most divine woman in the world in front of you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura decides to share some of her past with Carmilla.
> 
> Carmilla takes courage and shares some of her own with Laura. 
> 
> Mattie being Mattie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, Creampuffs! 
> 
> This is going to be a deep stories trip and these two idiots are so gross together, ugh!

**Laura**

 

 

 

You’re dreaming.

 

You must be dreaming, this can’t truly be happening to you.

 

You’ve been telling yourself that ever since you and Carmilla exited the restaurant, leaving two dumbstruck blondes behind. That seemed like the perfect moment to stick your tongue out at them, but you tried to refrain from that because you’re not a five-year-old. 

 

Ah, but what the heck! Carmilla wasn’t watching anyway, so that’s exactly what you did.

 

As both of you walked out of the restaurant, Carmilla placed her hand around your waist. Although you jumped a little at the contact, you couldn’t help the warm feeling that permeated your body. You never wanted her to remove it and when she did to open your car door, you felt a little disappointed by the loss.

 

Thankfully, the sensation returned when she gave you her blazer even if it was more from the gesture itself than the actual garment.

 

Every minute you spend next to Carmilla makes your heart swell that little bit more inside your chest.

 

Now that you’ve eaten, you approach the edge of the Morgan Building to admire the view again.

 

"It's been a long time," you say with a wistful sigh.

 

Carmilla looks at you curiously but waits for you to elaborate.

 

“Since I’ve spent a night away from Sloan and yet still felt so relaxed and happy.”

 

Carmilla rises hesitantly from the blanket to approach you. Even though she’s steadier on her feet than you, her glass is already half-empty, and she keeps away from the edge of the building.

 

 

"I feel the same way, Laura."

 

You have heard your name many times from her lips, but it feels different this time. It feels warmer and more intimate, and her voice makes your legs weak. Or maybe that’s the alcohol. Perhaps it’s both.

 

"I doubt that the blondes from the restaurant ever felt the same," you say, trying to tease her. But you sound more jealous than you intended, and Carmilla becomes serious again, and she doesn’t meet your eye. 

 

 

_ Well done Hollis. Way to put a downer on the best night out you’ve had a long time! _

 

"Laura, I'm sorry you've had to put up with that…."

 

"Carm, that’s not what I meant to say…”

 

Carmilla and you sigh in unison as you run towards each other, stopping when you’re face to face and looking into each other’s eyes. She feels the need to apologize while you want to take back your words.

 

The scene seems so silly and corny that both of you end up laughing. This is the first time you’ve heard Carmilla laughing so freely, and you don’t want it to be the last. It affects you in a way that no other laugh has for years, and you never thought that you were capable of feeling this way. Your body begins to tremble, and you want to believe that it’s because of the height or maybe it’s the cool summer breeze. Who are you trying to fool, Hollis? It’s her. This woman has turned your whole world upside down from the moment you set eyes on her.

 

Gradually, both of you stop laughing, but without taking your eyes off one another. Carmilla rubs the back of her neck and bites her lip as if unsure of what to say next. It's like watching Sloan at the library trying to carry more books than she can handle and looking to you to help her with all of them.

 

"I’m serious, Carm. This night has been wonderful. After I had Sloan, my whole life was built around her.”

 

"I understand," replies Carmilla with a sigh. You believe that there is an interesting story there, but don't want to pressurize her to tell you more. But you feel if she trusted you, she would share that story. So, you do the only thing you can think of which is share something of your own to give her the confidence she needs.

 

"Sloan has been a blessing in my life, regardless of the circumstances. I have never regretted my decision to raise her alone.” 

 

As you stand near the cornice of the building, Carmilla is sitting on a raised block nearer the center of the roof. Her champagne glass is by her side and her hands intertwined between her legs.  

 

Her silence lets you know that you have her full attention and encourages you to continue.

 

"I always knew that I wanted to be a mom some day. I never planned my children's names, or how I’d dress them or raise them, but I think I always knew that the day I had my baby in my arms that I would love them forever. It's funny how the scenarios that we have in our head, almost never end up being a reality. I thought that when this decision was made, that the woman with whom I decided to spend the rest of my life would be by my side; that my parents would be there being the stereotypical grandparents like you’d see in the movies and that it would be like something from a Hallmark Christmas card. But life laughs at our plans in the most unexpected ways. I was in my last year of high school when my mother had a heart attack, and suddenly she wasn’t there anymore to hug me, to encourage me on my bad days, to prepare cocoa in the way that only she used to do so, and make me smile with a single glance. I would never hear her voice ever again."

 

Carmilla diverts her gaze and fiddles nervously with her fingers. She still doesn’t say anything but a slight nod of her head encourages you to continue.

 

"Danny and I had a relationship for almost three years during high school. I'm not going to lie, but I often wondered if she and I would end being that family that I longed for. But for some reason, I always knew that wouldn’t be the case. When we broke up, I felt strange. I didn’t miss her as much as I thought I would. I missed her as a friend, but not as my girlfriend.”

 

“But it did make me reflect on my personal life and who I wanted to be by my side. I will never forget the following weekend with my mother. When I returned home, she received me with open arms. We talked all night, she lay down beside me in my bed hugging me, and it was almost like when I was younger and had had a bad day because some kid stole my cookies.  It was the sort of hug that no matter what happens to you, it makes you feel that you’ll always have a place where you’re going to be protected.  We take for granted so many things in our life, things that you think will never change.”

 

“For some reason, we ended up talking about children. My mother told me that there was no way for people to choose the right moment to have children, Life itself lets us know when we’re ready and all we have to do is listen .   I didn’t begin to understand that until days later after my father took me out in the middle of the school day to tell me that my mother had died suddenly. There was no warning."

 

Carmilla lifted her eyes and her gaze alone was enough to show you what she felt. The brightness and the empathy in her eyes were enough to make you feel safe and secure.

 

"Mom always loved lakes and rivers, so I always celebrated her birthday by the pond in the university because being there always made me feel closer to her. I wanted to remember the old days when we visited the lakes outside the city during the summer. It is strange to think how to someone, one day can be a normal day and yet for others, it may be the memory of the worst day of their lives. But I still find comfort in my mother’s words; Life puts us at the perfect moment.

 

I finished college six months later, and Channel 3 had already offered me a job for when I graduated. It was ideal because I would have a stable job that would allow me to start thinking about what I really wanted from life. That day at the lake, I decided I would have a daughter after a year. I began to think about and to love Sloan for the first time.

 

I didn’t think that would happen until I had her in my arms, but the truth is that before I bore her, I felt like I already knew her.”

 

The moon and stars illuminate Carmilla perfectly, so even through her bangs, you can see that her eyes are moist.

 

"So, after a year in a stable job and with all the recommendations of my friends and overprotective father, I began my sessions in the maternity clinic and became pregnant three months later. After that, it was just Sloan and me.”

 

“I don’t regret becoming a single parent, although it is sometimes difficult to have to deal with everything by myself. Between work, home, my daughter, my father and my friends, sometimes it’s hard not to have someone else with whom to share life's joys or sorrows Doing everything alone hasn’t really done Sloan any favors and many times I’ve been absent during crucial events. Last year she was a vampire on Halloween and not in as good a costume as I promised her. It was a pitiful one, where she had to use an old curtain and some food coloring that Perry gave us to simulate the blood. Thank heavens that all Sloan’s clothing is black, so we had no problem there. But although she said that she was grateful, I knew how disappointed she really was. Of course, all her classmates teased her, and her self-esteem decreased even more. I don't know if I’m doing enough to make her happy and that hurts me a lot."

 

"Cupcake, no. I am sure that in Sloan's eyes, you’re the best mom in the world. I've seen you with her and the way you look at her when you give her a hug or kiss. I’m certain that Sloan knows how much you love her."

 

Carmilla has stepped off the ledge and stops in front of you, taking care not to get too close to the edge of the building. You may notice that she wants to get closer, but you're not sure if it is for you to do so or if it has something to do with how high up you are.

 

"Thank you for tonight, Carm. I’ve never had told any of this to someone. Not to my closest friends, not even Danny."

 

"Thanks for confiding in me. Believe me, I understand, being a mother is not easy. It’s even harder when things don’t work out as you planned."

 

You smile widely to Carmilla, and she returned the smile.

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

Listening to Laura talking about Sloan has been somewhat difficult, yet enjoyable to the point of understanding how delicate it is to open up to someone else this way. You don't think you can be as open as her, but it’s a comfort to know that although her circumstances are different, she feels just as pressurized by motherhood as you do. You don’t know that you have done to deserve her trust, but you’re grateful to her and want to return the favor.

 

None of the women that you’ve been with understand the importance of your daughter in your life and you have never introduced any of them to Hayley. When Ell left,  you wanted to protect your daughter from going through the same issues as you did at her age when your father abandoned his family. From that day on, you decided that it’s best for your daughter to only have one mother in her life.

 

"Thanks for confiding in me. Believe me, I understand, being a mother is not easy. It’s even harder when things don’t work out as you planned."

 

Laura looks up with a smile which encourages you to share your own story, and for the first time in your life, you want to tell it. You want to tell all to Laura Hollis. Everything.

 

"It is true what Elsie said, Laura.  I’m not the girlfriend type. It wasn't until the last year of high school that I met the woman who I thought was the love of my life. Ell filled the void in me I fell madly in love with her, so much so that I did anything she asked without a second thought. We became girlfriends and Ell was my whole world. Literally. That first year, everything was incredible, we spent as much time together as we could. There were nights where I even snuck out of the house to see her. My family was suspicious of her, and my mother never approved of our relationship. My siblings tried to accept her for my sake, but never trusted her. Whenever I confronted them about it, it always ended in a fight, and I distanced myself from my family to protect my relationship with Ell."

 

You have never told this to anyone, and you feel as vulnerable as if you were completely naked in front of a murderous crowd with their torches and pitchforks. It seems that Laura notices this when she sits down on the blanket and pats the space beside her After covering yourself with the other blanket and settling beside her, you feel confident enough to continue your story.

 

"They all talk about how people feel disenchanted after a few months of a relationship. It took us a whole year. I was beginning to feel suffocated by her. While I loved to spend time with Ell, I had other things in my life too. I needed to attend classes and deal with my own friends and family. Ell felt threatened by all that. Any time that I had to be away from her, she would say that I would meet someone else and leave her. She found my friends annoying, and I couldn’t speak to a woman she considered even a little attractive because then she’d say that I was cheating on her. As ridiculous as it sounds, I actually began to sit at the back of the class or sit between two men so that she wouldn’t be unhappy. Nothing was ever enough. But I loved her so much, or thought I did, that I endured all her jealous behavior for almost five years."

 

You don't know how, but the presence of Laura next to you is comforting, and you find yourself leaning toward her. You didn’t expect her to notice, but one of her arms reaches around your shoulder and embraces you until you find your head resting in her lap. 

 

"In our last year of university, I foolishly thought that I could save the relationship if I told Ell that I didn’t want to spend my life with anyone but her. I thought marrying her would be the answer, it would ensure that there was no one else. It didn’t work. The jealousy of Ell didn’t go away; it actually got worse. But we went ahead with our plans anyway and got married with just her friends, her family, and my family attending.

Only my mother and my siblings turned up for me because I had no friends left to invite. In fact, Ell asked me not to invite Mattie because she was the one who was the most against my relationship with her .   Mattie didn't like what I had become since Ell came into my life. I couldn’t uninvite my own sister from my wedding and Ell almost canceled the ceremony because of that. The first year of marriage had its good and bad moments. Sometimes we were happy simply because we were together and other days we just fought for no reason."

 

Chills run down your spine when Laura’s hand starts to play with your hair and caresses it with a delicacy that you have never received from another person; not even during the good times with Elle. You don't know when it began, but now you feel the tears rolling down your face. 

 

Well, that’s a great impression you’ve made on your date with Laura! Crying into her lap and feeling sorry for yourself. Just pitiful, Karnstein.

 

The curious thing is that you don't think that Laura feels sorry for you. It’s not like any other occasion when you have to mention your divorce and people spout the usual platitudes such as 'I'm sorry,' ' that’s terrible,' ‘such a pity’ and the worst of all ‘I know how you feel.’ How can people who don't know what you feel pretend that they do? However, a mere touch from Laura tells you everything you need to know. You can just sense it.

 

"Ell always wanted to have children. I wasn’t too sure about this; my parents had three and were rarely there for us. I practically raised Will, and I didn't know if I was ready to do it again, especially with the way my marriage was going. But without my knowledge, Ell began visiting a pregnancy clinic. One day I came home from work, and the house was a complete mess. I thought that we had been broken into or something had happened because all our things were broken and thrown around the house. I found Ell in the spare room that we had decided to keep as a nursery in case we did decide to have a child someday.”

 

“She was unrecognizable, she was crying and hugging baby clothes that I didn't even know she had. Apparently, she had bought them for when she decided to surprise me with the news. But the problem was that she couldn’t become pregnant, and she knew that I wouldn’t agree to. After a few months, we talked about adoption. It was the only alternative. Ell promised me that things would be different after we adopted a daughter, which was what she wanted most in the world and that this would give stability to our marriage. I wanted to believe that was the right thing to do; I wanted to make her happy, and I agreed. Eventually, we finally found the girl Ell longed for. She was blonde like her, and Ell did not want to wait any longer. We adopted Hayley when she was six months old."

 

Your tears still haven’t ceased, and Laura pulls you closer, cradling you as if you were a little girl. It’s similar to the way you embrace Hayley during a stormy night. Minutes pass before you’re able to continue.

 

"When I finally held Hayley in my arms, I knew she was my life. As soon as I saw those brown eyes, I was a goner. Foolishly, I thought that everything would be fine then, that we would be the family that I didn’t know I craved and that Ell always said we could be. But Ell was still insecure, only this time it was not because of other women. It was because of our own child.”

 

“She said that Hayley had stolen my love for her, and began to neglect our daughter. When I’d come home from work, Hayley would be crying because she was hungry or needed a diaper change. I don’t know if she ever did anything more serious to her, but the fact that her basic needs weren’t being met terrified me. The fights between us were becoming more frequent and grew in intensity. Ell even threatened to return Hayley, as if she were an object, something that can just be discarded after a few months because it didn’t work the way you expected.” 

 

“One day when I returned home, there was no sign of Ell anywhere. Hayley was crying again; it was heartbreaking because there was no one around to attend to her. I ran as fast as I could to her room and tried to calm her down. It seemed to take an eternity to get up the hallway to her room. I couldn't think of anything else, I just wanted to comfort her.” 

 

“As soon as I had her in my arms and calmed her down a bit, I began to check the house. There was no sign that Ell had ever lived there. All her clothes and things were gone. The only thing that was left was a small note in our room saying she couldn’t do it anymore. That this was not what she wanted and that bringing Hayley into our lives had been our biggest mistake. So, she walked out on us.”

 

You didn’t think it was possible, but Laura hugs you even tighter. Turning in her embrace, you cling onto her as if she’d fade away if you let her go. You’re shivering and you know it’s not because it’s cold up on the roof. Laura is still rocking you in her arms, and gradually your body stops shaking. You don’t recall ever crying so much, not even on the day that Ell deserted you like most of the other people in your life.  From that day on you had to be strong for your daughter and all those feelings were bottled up. You were not going to let your child see you weak.

 

Laura begins to hum a lullaby, and you realize how exhausted you are after sharing that story. Your eyes are drooping with tiredness, and you need to process what you've had to relive this evening. Everything hurts as if you’ve just climbed out of a hell pit, but Laura is still here. She’s holding you safe, and for the first time in years, you feel that everything is going to be okay. 

 

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 You have no idea how much time has passed since Carmilla fell asleep in your arms and you gave into the temptation to do the same. But when you open your eyes again, she still hasn’t woken up.

 

You can't believe the hell this woman has been through. She seemed so wonderful, but you had no idea just how strong she was. After a stormy relationship and a failed marriage, she raised an amazing daughter that she never planned to have. That’s not something that just anyone could do. You thought that your story was sad, but you are sure that the strength that Carmilla has shown in moving forward for her daughter’s sake is extraordinary.

 

And despite the inner strength and independence she so clearly possesses, this impressive and beautiful woman is asleep in your arms like a defenseless child. You can’t be certain, but judging by her tears, Carmilla has never told anyone else this story and awful as it was, you feel privileged to hear it. You want to be the one to listen to all her fears and insecurities, but you also want to be the one who will help her to overcome them and be the cause of her future happiness.

 

Even with her eyes swollen from crying, her makeup ruined and the fact that she’s currently drooling on your lap, Carmilla Karnstein still looks like the most beautiful woman in the world. It’s not fair. This should not be possible, and yet despite everything, it is.

 

The sky is beginning to brighten in the east, and there isn’t much time left until the sun rises.

 

Your body feels sore, and your sitting position with Carmilla in your arms is getting increasingly uncomfortable. But you’d do all over again if that’s what she needs to feel safe.

 

The light begins to emerge on the horizon making her pale skin glow and caressing it as you wish you could with your lips. You’re envious that the first rays of the sun dare to touch her face when you can’t. As if it had a mind of its own, your right hand begins stroking and exploring her face until it rests on that exquisite jawline. Okay, this woman must definitely have been created by the gods, gods benevolent enough to want to share such beauty with mortals like you and you’ve never felt more blessed.

 

Carmilla shifts slightly, and you withdraw your hand from her cheeks, but the black-haired girl still doesn’t wake. She sighs deeply and licks her lips. It is a delicious torture to have this woman in your arms, so close that you could kiss her and yet so unattainable because you can't fathom how someone like her could ever notice you. Carmilla said she wasn’t girlfriend material and you don’t want a light and causal relationship, no matter how much you like her and want to be with her. You couldn’t do that to Sloan.

 

Carmilla probably doesn’t want anything serious with you, and you don't want to hurt your daughter. It would be terrible for her to be away from Hayley if something went wrong. Also, you’re sure that Carmilla would agree with you; your daughters must come before your own needs.

 

You should stop having those thoughts about Carmilla and see her only as the mother of your daughter’s best friend. The best you can hope for is to be platonic friends who share in the growth of their daughters. Nothing more.

 

You're so absorbed in your thoughts that you haven't noticed that Carmilla has already woken up and is looking at you patiently.

 

"Hey."

 

"Carm! How long have you been awake?"

 

Great, now you’re blushing again. There must be something you can do to stop it happening every time you hear her voice. Just one word from her and your face is illuminated like an ambulance siren. 

 

But that voice and the way she speaks! You’re powerless. And she has decided to wake up with a smile on her face. Thanks for the heart attack, Carmilla!

 

"Just a few minutes, Creampuff."

 

"A few minutes! Why didn’t you say anything?"

 

"You look beautiful when you’re lost in thought. I didn't want to interrupt."

 

Is it possible for your face to get any redder? It must be because your cheeks have reached that level and it’s impossible to hide. Carmilla giggles at your expression.

 

"I don't know what you’re talking about," you say while trying to ignore the intensity of her gaze.  Carmilla turns in your arms to take a closer look at you. She has an amused smile as she points at your forehead.

 

"Your face is so expressive, and I suspect that you have an internal dialog going on where you talk to yourself and react to each time. So, I really want to know what you were thinking about that had you frowning and biting your lip."

 

"Ahm… I…"

 

_ I was thinking I wanted to kiss you senseless, but that's never going to happen. _ It would be so easy to say that if your brain didn’t short circuit at that smug expression on her face. But thankfully the universe finally takes mercy on you when Carmilla’s phone starts ringing and interrupts the moment.

 

"Mattie!... Yes, of course I’m awake… What time is it?... Ten minutes, Mattie, ten minutes and I’ll be there."

 

Carmilla runs around clearing up the mess on the roof with one hand while talking on the phone and you help as best as you can. After returning everything to its place inside, both of you take the elevator to street level where she parked her car. You tag along even though she has to meet Mattie, because what else you can do?

 

Go to your house and continue the date? Sure, that’ll end well.

 

"Cupcake, forgive me; my sister needs her keys to the building immediately."

 

Okay, date’s over. You begin to take off her jacket and prepare for a walk of shame.

 

"Creampuff, wait!”

 

Damnit, what did you do?

 

"I, I thought…"

 

"Don't do it so early in the morning, it’ll run that beautiful face," she smirks. "What do you say to some breakfast after I drop off the keys?"

 

Now the smirk is replaced by a slight blush as she looks nervously at you and it’s probably the most adorable thing you have ever seen.

 

_ Carmilla Karnstein is nervous of me! _

 

Your answer sticks in your throat and all you can do is nod while continuing to walk by her side as you look for her car.

 

Driving through the main shopping area of the city with Carmilla, you notice all the designer boutiques. But the one called ‘Madame Perrodon’ catches your attention; you’ve only been there a couple of times, but the memory makes you smile.

 

Finally, Carmilla pulls up in front of a huge apartment complex that’s nearly as luxurious as the Morgan Building. Carmilla opens the foyer door for you and waiting in the main reception is a woman that looks like a goddess. She radiates power and confidence, and the Louboutins on her feet look like they cost more than your entire wardrobe.

 

"Well, well! That must have been one hell of a date!" is the first thing she says when she sees both of you. 

 

"Mattie, behave please. Laura, this is my sister Mattie. Mattie, she is my… Laura, this is Laura," says Carmilla who looks like she wants the ground to open up and swallow her. You feel the same.

 

"Nice to meet you, Laura. I hope that my sister has been treating you well."

 

The woman extends her hand, and the softness of her skin lets you know that she can afford the best when it comes to manicures and beauty treatments.

 

"Nice to meet you too, Mattie. It has been the best date of my life."

 

The words just come out, and Mattie’s stern expression is replaced by one of complete surprise. Carmilla looks the same, and now you’re wondering if there’s a deep enough hole to hide your embarrassment.

 

"Wow! I'd love to stay to hear all the details. Actually, no I wouldn’t. There is a line that I don't want to cross when it comes to my little sister's sexcapades."

 

"Mattie! No!"

 

"Oh, God! we didn’t…"

 

Mattie laughs at your reactions, but her amazement seems to increase.

 

"No need to apologize, darlings, we’re all adults here. However, Carmilla, I cannot deny that I am surprised at you if that’s true."

 

If looks could set someone on fire, you’re certain that Carmilla’s glare alone would have Mattie in flames by now.

 

"Okay, I’ll say no more. I must leave, or Mother will disown me if I arrive late. Carmilla, I hope that you have left everything in order. Mother cannot find out about this, or we’ll never hear the end of it.”

 

Carmilla hands the keys back to her sister and while hugging her goodbye, whispers something in her ear. Mattie smiles warmly and then turns to hug you goodbye too before striding toward a sumptuous black limousine that awaits her at the main entrance. A chauffeur is holding the door open for her.

 

Woah! Everything about Mattie screams class.

 

"So, how about breakfast?" asks Carmilla with a smile. She takes your hand in hers and leads you back to her car. Casual or not, you can’t deny that this is the first time in years that you’ve felt so happy with someone. Perhaps Carmilla’s right and you need to stop thinking so much. Maybe you should just let yourself enjoy the experience.

 

Especially as her hand feels so warm in yours as you walk together in the early morning sunshine. 

 

 

 

 

 


	14. Undeniable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura learns more about Carmilla’s past.
> 
> Carmilla realizes something about Laura

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

When you finally open your eyes, your first instinct is to scramble out of Laura's lap. But when you catch a glimpse of her face, lost in her own thoughts, you can’t bring yourself to do it. The blonde isn’t looking at anything in particular, but sometimes her lips move, and her expressions are constantly changing as if she’s holding an internal dialogue with herself. There’s a small dreamy smile at one stage, then her lips straighten into a thin line as if she was scolding herself. The one that charms you the most is when her forehead furrows as she’s biting her lower lip and it fills your mind with all sorts of thoughts of what you’d like to do with that mouth. At least until Laura notices you looking at her.

 

Your teasing is cut short when your phone rings. Mattie is on the brink of an aneurysm because it’s almost eight in the morning and there’s no sign of you returning her keys. As you try to tidy up the mess from last night (with Laura helping), you promise to drop them off at her apartment as quick as possible.

 

As you make your way down towards the car, you realize that you don't want finish the date like this. It looks like she’s making up her mind to go and you can’t let it end this way, so you put on your big girl pants and invite her to breakfast. There is still so much left unsaid between you. To your delight, Laura agrees to your plan. Great start to the day!

 

Although you’re well used to your sister’s impertinence, you don’t want her scaring Laura away. So you try to ignore her remarks and hand over the key cards. But you still take the time to embrace her before you leave and whisper ‘I like her, Matska.’ Using her full name lets her know just how serious you are. As she hugs Laura as well, you know she gets it. When Mattie finally leaves, you turn back to Laura.

 

"So, how about breakfast?"

 

Laura still looks a little hesitant though, so you offer her your hand, and she takes it. 

 

You try to ignore how warm it feels in yours.

 

Laura decides that it’s her turn to treat you. She’s rambling about the best pancakes that you will ever taste in your life, and at this stage, you can't deny Laura Hollis anything. Even with tousled hair and tired eyes, her face lights up with delight when she describes them. If you had any lingering doubts about Laura Hollis, this alone has removed them. There’s just something about her.

 

Laura gives you the directions to the cafe, and as soon as you reach the street, you realize that you know this place. It’s a bittersweet memory. This a place that you’ve visited so many times with Ell. The Lustig Cafe is still open after all this time. The walls seem to have got a fresh coat of paint, but all the battered tables and chairs seem to be the same ones as when you last set foot here. That was the same day that Ell made a huge scene when a waitress complimented your leather pants.

 

"Laura!"

 

A brunette with curly hair leaves her place behind the counter as soon as you enter. The woman obviously knows the blonde well and gives her a heartfelt hug.

 

"Mel! Please tell me that you have a place for two." 

"Of course. Is Sloan with you?" asks Mel, looking past Laura .

"No, not today. I left her with Perry and Laf. Mel, this is my friend, Carmilla."

 

Mel nods at you in greeting and regards you curiously.

 

"Do I know you?"

 

"I don't know, but it’s been a while since I’ve been here."

 

Laura is stunned by your reply, and Mel doesn’t mention it again as she guides you to a table and takes your orders. Of course, Laura Hollis can't ask for anything other than pancakes with chocolate chips and your order some normal ones with bacon on the side. Laura tells you that they’re Sloan’s favorite and you smile at that new piece of information.

 

When Mel leaves to get your orders ready, you ask Laura for a few minutes to touch up your makeup which is a disaster. Mattie didn’t appear to have noticed when you met or perhaps she was just too polite to comment on it. Whatever the reason, you’re grateful she didn’t.

 

When you return to the table, Laura takes the opportunity to use the bathroom, and you take a second look at the cafe. Memories flood your mind; Ell and you having coffee after your classes, the tables covered with books while studying for your exams, uncomfortable meetings with your friends and Ell or her friends and you. When it was the latter, you don't have anything to talk about. 

 

Ell constantly arriving late for dates. 

 

Ell and her outrage when she thought some girl was flirting with you,  

 

Ell and your last visit here when she yelled at you in front of everyone for daring to smile at the waitress who complimented your outfit. 

 

"Who’s the one with the internal dialogue now?"

 

It’s as if the sweetness of Laura’s voice pulls you back from those dark places. It’s like the time at her house when you were dreaming, and your name on her lips tore away that nightmare. Her voice, her always patient voice.

 

"Yeah, But I bet it didn't look remotely like your face this morning," you say with a teasing smile.

 

In the time that you have spent with Laura, making her blush has officially become your new favorite pastime. It’s fun to see how red her face gets. You've taken it as a personal challenge. This time is no different, and your smile grows larger when you see that you’ve succeeded again.

 

Mel returns with two plates in her hands and places them in front of you.

 

"I’ve definitely seen you before. You may not have the eyeliner, the disaffected look or the combat boots, but a face like yours isn’t easily forgotten."

 

You wish you could shove those words back down Mel’s throat. It’s like living that scenario all over again, and you’re panic-stricken. What if Laura reacts badly to it?

 

"I don’t doubt it,” says Laura with a giggle while pouring an ungodly amount of maple syrup on her breakfast. You relax again and remind yourself that you’re with Laura, a woman who is the exact opposite of your ex-wife. You breathe again and see that Mel is waiting expectantly for your answer.

 

Wait, did Laura just gave you a compliment too? Oh! She did.

 

"I used to come here a long time ago," you reply.

 

"Of course! You came in almost every afternoon with your girlfriend. I remember both of you ordering bucket loads of coffee when you were studying. Oh! I also remember she got really mad when I said I loved your look."

 

Mel laughs uproariously at the memory. Of course she would, for it had to be the most ridiculous thing ever to see a grown woman lost all reason because of a friendly throwaway compliment. It’s a pity that you can't look back at it the same way.

 

Laura spots your discomfort and quickly asks Mel for a coffee for you and hot chocolate for her, saying that she can’t enjoy her pancakes without it. Mel takes the hint and leaves while you try to forget the memory. Laura places one of her hands on top of yours, the same one that had gone white from gripping your fork so tightly.

 

"Carm, I’m sorry. I didn't know you knew this place. We can leave if you want. I used to come here all the time during my years in Silas and then with Sloan when we went out for breakfast. If you prefer, we can go somewhere else."

 

"No," i s all you can say as you relax your grip on the fork. The pain of that memory is mitigated when you look into her eyes. You’re here with Laura now, and those memories have no right to ruin this moment.

 

"No, Cupcake. I’m good here. Let’s enjoy our breakfast; it really smells delicious."

 

She loosens her grip on your hand, but you cling on to it. Laura grins while she cuts through her pancakes with the fork in her other hand and stuffs a huge chunk into her mouth in the least graceful way possible. You don't know if it was intentional, but you can't help but laugh, and she laughs with you. Laura Hollis is something else!

 

Mel returns with your drinks, and you notice her stunned expression when she sees your intertwined hands on the table. 

 

"Uhm… Oops! Guys, this breakfast is on me."

 

"What? No, Mel, that’s not necessary."

 

Laura tries to take her hand from yours, but you grasp it tighter. No, you’re not letting go yet.

 

She insists again, and a reluctant Laura finally gives in when Mel reminds her that thanks to Laura’s advice and encouragement, she went from being a part-time waitress at the Lustig to being the owner. It seems that Laura can only bring blessings to the lives of all who know her.

 

Mel leaves to look after another customer, and both of you return to your breakfast. Neither of you releases each other’s hands.

Definitely one of your best days!

 

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

 

Okay, maybe it wasn’t  your best idea to bring Carmilla here. You were sure it would be safe, and that you would enjoy a pleasant breakfast together. It would never have occurred to you that Carmilla and her ex-wife were regulars here. And what were the odds that Mel would have witnessed all the unpleasant times between her and Ell?

 

But she relaxes at your touch and happiness overwhelmed you when her grip tightens on yours. After a few minutes of companionable silence, Carmilla clears her throat.

 

"Thank you, Creampuff."

 

"You have nothing to be grateful for, Carm. I'm sorry again that I brought you here."

 

"Laura, I'm serious. Thank you. I never thought I could return to a place that had so many bad memories. But your presence alone makes me feel strong enough to stay. Many years have passed and thanks to you I think it is time to get over it. Really, thank you."

 

Carmilla’s words make you fall in love a little more. 

 

Wait, fall in love? Who said anything about love?

 

You're screwed, Hollis! No, no, no, no. No, that was not what you meant. Attraction, what you feel for Carmilla is just attraction because well, she’s a very beautiful woman. But she’s also a loving mother who cannot do enough for her daughter. A successful professional that excels in her field. A strong woman that in spite of the blows that life has dealt her continues to stand tall and give you that beautiful smile that she doesn’t seem to share with just anyone… 

 

_ Oh, crap! _

 

"Laura? Did I say something wrong? Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you."

 

"What? No, Carm! What you said was really sweet.”

 

"Then what?"

 

"What?"

 

"Could you tell me why you banged your forehead against the table and haven’t raised your head since?"

 

_Oh, Shit!_ You hadn’t even noticed that you did that. You raise your head slowly and notice that everyone in the café is staring at you.

 

Carmilla is looking at you in wonder and is trying her best not to smile. You can’t even look at her directly. One night with her and she makes you feel things that you’ve never felt for anyone else.

 

Carmilla extends her hand to remove some of the hair that has been stuck to your forehead and rubs your eyebrows carefully. Apparently, hitting your head against the table wasn’t enough to make a fool of yourself. Some of the maple syrup dripped off your plate and is now stuck to your face.

 

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves, but you almost choke on it when the black haired girl takes the thumb she used to clean the maple syrup from your face and licks it clean.

 

Stupid Carmilla with her tempting red lips!

 

How could you even imagine that this goddess can look at you and overlook your klutzy antics? But then Carmilla responds to your silent question when she strokes your cheeks with the back of her hand, and you can't do anything other than close your eyes to savor the sensation. Your head involuntarily rests in your other hand to enjoy it more.

 

"Uhm… can I bring you guys anything else?"

 

Carmilla immediately removed her hand from your face, and although you've always been a peaceful woman, you could kill Mel for this interruption.

 

"I think it is time to go home, Cupcake. Our daughters probably miss us."

 

"Laura, you never told me that Carmilla was Sloan’s mother! Your daughters? Do you have more girls?"

 

Okay, you’re absolutely going to krav-maga Mel the next time you visit the Lustig. Or maybe not, when you notice Carmilla’s reaction, who laughs uproariously at her comment and explains that each of you is the mother of a little girl. You don't know if you feel relieved or disappointed, probably the latter if you had to be truthful. 

 

Carmilla requests the tab, forgetting Mel’s earlier offer. But Mel doesn’t and further adds that she hoped that it would not be the last time that she saw both of you here. You hope so too.

 

The journey home passes too quickly; you don't want Carmilla to leave, ever if possible. But you have been together at least twelve hours, and the date is over. Twelve hours have been sufficient to realize that your heart expands when she’s around.

 

And of course, Carmilla opens the car door for you and extends her hand to help you out. While walking to the door of your house, she places her hand on your waist, and you close your eyes again to try and calm your breathing.

 

At your door, somehow you manage to contain yourself when you have to say goodbye. 

 

_ Don’t go!  _

 

But that would be a terrible way to end everything, so you say the first decent thing that comes to mind.

 

"Thanks for the date, Carm. I really enjoyed the night."

 

"I should be thanking you, Laura. I enjoyed last night too. And this morning."

 

The sincerity in her words makes you melt a little more, and you are sure that if you weren’t leaning against the front door, you’d have a serious case of the vapors now. Or possibly jump her. And wouldn’t that be just ridiculous of you?

 

Both of you hesitate for a moment but thank God Carmilla is the braver one. She leans closer to you, ever so slowly and the seconds seem to pass like centuries. When you feel her breath on your lips, you cannot help but lick them in anticipation. You close your eyes to enjoy the moment, but she suddenly changes course, and she presses a kiss against your cheek. 

 

What the hell?

 

"Have a nice day, Cupcake," she whispers into your ear.

 

You sense rather than see Carmilla walking back towards her car and finally open your eyes when you hear her opening the door. She smiles at you, and you do your best to smile back. You’re certain that the disappointment shows on your face, but she doesn’t seem to notice. 

 

But when Carmilla drives away, you remember that kiss and touch the spot where your cheek is still tingling. Although it didn’t end the way you expected, you don't have any complaints about last night.

 

The first thing you do when you enter your house and notice the book on the table is to call Laf and Perry, You want to tell them everything, but you also want to check in on Sloan. Y friends care for her like she was their own child, but Sloan is always a little uncomfortable when you’re not around.

 

No big surprise when Laf answers the phone first.

 

"Tell me you just woke up a hangover and after the best sex you've had in years."

 

And naturally, those are the first words that come out of their mouth.

 

"LaFontaine!" says a horrified voice in the background that can only belong to Perry. There’s nothing else you can do except laugh.

 

"I can't tell you that, but I can tell you that it was the best date I ever had, that we had breakfast together and Carmilla has just left."

 

"Oh! Breakfast together? Wait a minute. Does that mean there was no hangover or no great sex?”

 

Perry groans in the distance while LaFontaine laughs.

 

"There was no sex, we didn’t even kiss. Unless you count the goodbye kiss. I suppose it’s a start. But there was something else, an intimacy that only comes through mutual trust.”

 

"Wow! Sounds like the pair of you hit it off, Laura."

 

"LaF, I don't know what to do. Carmilla is perfect, but I don't know if she’s actually interested in me. With what you said to me and something that happened last night, I still not sure if I want to take a chance on seeing her again. I’m not sure if  she’s looking for a relationship or just wants to add me to her list of conquests."

 

"Hey! Steady on, Laur. It was your first date, and you felt there was a spark there. I’m not saying that just to tease you. Why don’t you call over and tell us everything? I want to hear all the details, even if there are no X-rated bits.” 

 

"Oh, my God!  Laura dear, just come over for lunch. Sloan has been asking about you. She’s in the shower but as soon she’s finished, we’ll let her know that you’re coming."

 

After thanking Perry, you hang up and prepare to run a bath. You notice the bouquet of flowers that Carmilla gave you the night before, and you take a sniff of them. There’s a card there that you hadn’t noticed last night. It has the name of the florist, a name that you recognize instantly. It’s from Madame Perrodons.

 

You open the card slowly and read the legend that is printed on the inside.

 

_ www.madameperrodon.com _

_  Find your flowers and their meaning. _

 

Of all the florists in town, Carmilla picked the one owned by Perry’s parents. 

 

It’s not until you go to take off your dress that you realize that you’re still wearing Carmilla’s blazer. You hadn’t taken it off since last night, but it still smells of her. You hug the garment close before taking off your clothes. While waiting for the bath to fill, you open your laptop to pull up the florist's web page. You skim through the catalog that pops up on your laptop until you find the exact bouquet that Carmilla chose for you.

_ Giving flowers is an act of love. From time immemorial, mankind has used it as a way to show their feelings for one other. Each flower has a different meaning depending on the message you want to convey. _

 

When you finally find it and read its meaning, you can't help shedding a tear and smiling like an idiot at your computer screen.

 

There’s no denying it any longer. You're falling in love with Carmilla Karnstein.

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

You’re convinced that you had never met anyone like Laura Hollis. She is the only reason you can banish the bad memories of the Lustig. But banging her forehead against the table top and her mortified expression when she got maple syrup all over her face is enough to convince you that this wonderful, yet dorky girl, is the most adorable person you have ever met in your life.

 

You just can’t help yourself. You clean the syrup off and caress her face tenderly. It’s the only way in which Laura Hollis deserves to be touched.

 

Honestly though, you were uncertain whether you wanted to thank or kill Mel for interrupting. You had eyes for no one else except this sweet woman, and you were a split second away from kissing her in front of everyone. Then again, maybe you should thank Mel. You don't want to move too fast; it’s only the first date, and you don't want to scare Laura off.

 

If she were anyone else, you’d be dumping her after a night of unrestrained but empty sex. Breakfast wouldn’t be an option either.

 

Not that you’d be offering anyway. 

 

But she isn’t just any woman. It’s Laura Hollis. Laura Hollis that in just a few hours has captured your heart. 

 

_ Woah, wait a minute. Since when did you become so corny, Karnstein _ ? 

 

Oh, right! From the moment Laura came into your life.

 

But capturing your heart? Is that going too fast? She’s earned your respect and perhaps your sympathy. And Laura is a beautiful woman. You can't deny you’re attracted to her. Her beauty is unmatched, and you’d be a fool to deny that. But she’s also a concerned and loving mother who would do anything to help her daughter. She’s well-known in her field for her excellent work. It goes beyond what she reports on air; she genuinely feels a responsibility to make the world a better place. She’s the funniest woman you’ve ever met and somehow a moment never passed last night where she didn’t make you laugh, be it intentional or otherwise.

 

Her fortitude is impressive too. She made some tough decisions in life after the death of her mother, and they don’t seem to have changed her character at all. She’s always smiling, always happy and infecting others with her own happiness. 

 

Including you. 

 

_ Oh, no. _

 

When you leave the Lustig, it takes all your strength not to grab Laura’s hand in yours because you don’t think you’ll be able to let it go again when you drop her home. So you drive as fast as you can, even though you don't want this to end. On the other hand, you have to act like a gentlewoman in case you do something impetuous. You have to do this the right way. 

 

But you can’t fully contain yourself because when you help her get out of your car, you automatically place your arm around her waist. 

 

Why do you have to leave?

 

After a few moments of awkward silence, you decide to take the first step. As you draw closer to Laura, your eyes fall directly to her lips, Lips that you're dying to kiss, but you must be strong. You don't want to scare Laura. But when you see her tongue between her lips making them appear the most appetizing delicacy in the world, it’s almost too tempting.. 

 

You realize that you are not ready, but you don't want to ruin the chance that something more happens between you, so you decide that it’s better to take that first step slowly and see how things work out between you. At the last second, you give her a kiss on the cheek, and even that leaves your lips tingling.

 

You get out of there before you do something stupid.

 

On the way home you can't stop thinking about the wonderful night you have shared with Laura. Her looks, her arm around your body, her hand in yours, her scent of sweet vanilla, cinnamon and chocolate when you kissed her. Laura Hollis’s addiction to sweets is very noticeable.

 

Your vivid dream of the blond is interrupted when your phone rings.

 

"Karnstein here." 

"Mommy!"

"Cupcake! Is everything okay?"

 

"Yes! Uncle Willy and SJ are taking me to the cinema. Do you want to come with us?" 

“I’m just coming home now. Do you already have tickets?"

"Yes! Did you bring Laura home?”

 

Oh, crap! You’re going to murder William when you get home, just as soon as you find the sharpest kitchen knife.

 

"Cupcake, how did you know that I was with Laura?"

 

"You looked so happy last night when you put me to bed. You only look like that when you’re going to meet Laura.”

 

You’ll let William live this time. Your daughter may be young, but she’s obviously not stupid when it comes to you and Laura.

 

"I’ll tell you what. What if we all met up after the movie and we can go to eat anywhere you like.”

 

"Really, I get to choose?" 

"Yes cupcake, I promise."

You say goodbye to Hayley although you’re dying to see her again to give her a hug. The talk that you and Laura had the previous night has made you understand how much it means to have Hayley in your life. It’s not that you ever doubted it, but you’re more certain than ever that Ell was wrong. Hayley was never a mistake.

 

After so long, maybe even the time spent with Ell wasn’t either. If you had to go through the last few years again to have Hayley in your life, to watch her grow and love and learn, then you would do it without a second thought.  You’d even relive the pain of Ell abandoning both of you. Today, all because of Hayley, you dated someone you wouldn’t have met if she wasn’t your daughter.

 

_ *** _

_ "You have a good reason for this?" _

 

_ "I'm going to tell you how I knew that your first marriage was going to fail and why these flowers are the best choice." _

 

_ The owner looked behind the counter for a yellow tulip and played with it in her hands as she regarded  you seriously _ .

 

_ "People think that yellow represents joy because they think it’s a bright, lively color. But the flowers speak to us from a deeper level. Tulips are beautiful flowers, but they’re fragile. If you don’t pay constant attention to them, they die very easily. Yellow tulips may be more attractive than the others, but from ancient times they have always symbolized hopeless love." _

 

_ You froze for a moment. You didn't have the slightest idea of that. The only reason you bought those flowers for Ell was because she said they were her favorites. _

 

_ The owner puts the tulip down and toke back the small white flower that she gave you. She handled it carefully because it was so tiny and delicate that it looked like it would break if you looked at it wrong. _

 

_ "This is a Narcissus, an overlooked flower because of its size and despised because it was associated with the old Greek legend where Narcissus loved no one but himself. So the people began to refer to it as a sign of selfishness. But isn't love itself a selfish act? Selfishness has a negative connotation when it makes us strive for our own happiness. But how can I love others if I don’t love myself first? Some philosophers say a rational egoism allows us to be true to ourselves and that means that we can live for others in a more reasoned way, to be the best possible person we can be for them.”  _

 

_ “That’s why the white narcissus stands for pure love; what love can be purer than the love we have for ourselves? What’s the purest love you can give to others other than the love that rises out of love for ourselves? But it also represents chivalry, of giving yourself completely to someone you love. And finally, it stands for respect. When we respect ourselves, then we can truly respect others.” _

 

_ “So tell me, is this flower as inconsequential as you thought? Or perhaps more worthy of veneration? Most pass it by without even noticing it, and some may even tread on it because it’s so small. But its real beauty can only be admired by someone who possesses the ability to see past its appearance and size.” _

 

 

You smile when you recall her last words. Laura Hollis is definitely small and most definitely beautiful. But she has so many other wonderful qualities that are worthy of your admiration. Her beauty is soul deep.

 

You don't know how long you spent in your garage reviewing your visit to the florist. But there’s only one conclusion you can come to.

 

You're falling in love with Laura Hollis _. _

 

 

 


	15. Happy Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla realizes she’s more smitten than she expected.
> 
> Lafontaine and Perry win the award for 'Friends of the Year.'
> 
> Happy Birthday Laura!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a huge sap. 
> 
> That's all.
> 
>  
> 
> xoxo
> 
>  
> 
> Mckie

 

 

** Laura **

 

 

It has been three weeks since your date with Carmilla.

 

From the moment you realized what you felt for her, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Unfortunately, the only contact you’ve had with each other since then has been a constant exchange of texts.

 

Still, you’ve been incredibly busy since you broke the story about  the misappropriation  of civil service pension funds by  the Prime Minister’s office. But it’s gotten even harder in the last few weeks due to the intervention of their legal team. The relationship with your main sources has been affected; some have received anonymous threats against them and their family, others have made a sudden killing on the stock market and have left the city, making it impossible for them to ratify their testimonies. One even won the lottery ‘by chance’ and vanished without a trace.

 

They’re certainly mounting a strong defense ,  although not in  the  most honest way. Since they took over, all of the most crucial witnesses have been intimidated or bought off. You don't know how much they’re earning for this, but it’s certain that this bloodsucking firm is earning a fortune out of this case, all paid out of taxpayers money. As far as your concerned, ‘bloodsucker’ is the appropriate description as they’re draining the life out of your story and sources.

 

It’s become a mess that has taken over your life, and you’re usually not home until Sloan’s bedtime. The only time you see her awake is when you drive her to school, and you’ve been so busy that she’s been spent the last two weekends at your father’s house. You’re a little anxious that Sloan is spending so much time away from home, especially when it’s at your father’s home.

 

It’s is not that you don’t love your father, but he’s always been overprotective when it comes to the people he loves. When you were a girl, he never let play outside the home without knee pads, elbow pads or a helmet. Thankfully your mother secretly helped you take them off when she brought you to the park so that you could run and play without looking ridiculous. Even though you’re an adult now and don’t have to wear them anymore, you somehow manage to stumble over everything in your way. You were twelve when you managed to scrape your knee for the first time after tripping on your best friends patio; it was also the first time you were allowed to go home on your own without adult supervision. You were so proud of your wound which lasted until your father discovered what happened.

 

After that, he never allowed you to cross the street on your own for a few years.

 

Sure, you love your father, but it was still fun to see his reactions when he realized that how daring you were getting as you became an adolescent, especially when you didn’t have permission to be out and had climbed the back wall to go to a party with your friends. It’s still funny to remember the time that you tried to get back in through the kitchen window and knocked everything off the breakfast bar, making enough noise to wake the dead. Fortunately, your mother was on the couch in the living room, and your father appeared in his boxers and baseball bat in hand ready to bludgeon what he thought might be a thief or a serial killer. Yes, apparently to your father a baseball bat would be enough to stop a serial killer.

 

Your mother covered for you by saying a large hungry raccoon had broken into the kitchen and was able to reassure your father. She told him to go back to bed as he had to be up for work in a few hours while both of you tidied up the kitchen. To this day, you’re not sure if he swallowed that, especially as you were still in your party clothes instead of your pajamas.

 

That was  the  night that you  know  that  your  mother  had realized what you were doing and stayed up until she heard you come home. She had never told you or your father. From that night on, you never went out without telling your mother where you were going.

 

But your mother is no longer here, and your father’s overprotective nature was only accentuated when she died. Her sudden death made him think that none of his care had been sufficient to keep her from harm. There was no precaution so small that it could be overlooked. Unfortunately, the victim of what was now Sloan.

 

The good thing is that your daughter is not a girl who runs or stumbles anywhere, preferring to sit and read under the lemon tree in your parents' house. The bad thing is that your father believes that if she remains under the sun all those hours that she’ll die of dehydration or heat stroke or that she’d be attacked by fire ants or something equally stupid.

 

You try not to think too much about what Sloan must be going through. But these weekends with you are added to the list of things that you have to make up for where she’s concerned. It’s a long list, and you don’t know if you’ll ever have time to make up for your failings as a mother. But then you remember Carmilla’s words from your date, and for some reason, it relieves your broken heart a little.

 

In addition to  this, you  can't stop thinking about the constant  messages between Carmilla and you  even though none of them have touched on the  most obvious thing . Sometimes you think you have the courage to  confess your feelings, but then you realize that you are very cowardly. You’re afraid to face up to the fact that maybe that they’re not reciprocated.

 

At the start of the fourth week, you call into Laf and Perry’s to pick up Sloan where she’s been spending the evenings while you try to work on your story. 

 

"Do my eyes deceive me? Is it really you, Laura Hollis?"

 

"Ha-ha, Laf. Don’t remind me that I’m starting to look like Tom Hanks from Castaway with all the days I’ve been away from home."

 

"Hmm. Nope, sorry Laura. Not even Tom had a beard as impressive as yours."

 

Even in your tired state, you can't deny that their comment is hilarious and laugh. Perry hugs you with such force that you think your lungs are going to collapse. The twins do the same when their mother releases you before your daughter rises to give you the hug that you've really needed since the day began.

.

"Ready for the weekend, Laura?" asks Perry.

 

For a  moment you  don't know  she’s talking about, then remember that  your  birthday is next week and that your friends have spent months planning for the occasion. It is not that you hate your birthday, but you weren’t exactly the most popular person in school after your ninth birthday party. That was the one where your father wouldn’t let your friends use the trampoline if all of you did not use helmets that he rented. After that, you spent the following years alone with your parents and one or two of your best friends, Danny being one of them.

 

That changed when Lafontaine, Perry, and Kirsch came into your life. From your first birthday at the university, your friends never let the day pass and always tried to give you the best party. Sometimes you think that they do so with the sole purpose of making you recover the fun experiences that you missed out on from your childhood. You don’t think it’s necessary, but their intentions are good, and you must admit that Laf and Perry’s parties are always entertaining.

 

"Wow! With everything that’s going on at work, I forgot that it’s my birthday.”

 

"Do n't worry, L. Perr and I already have everything ready," replies Laf.

 

Perry clears her throat all of a sudden, looking very unimpressed.

 

"Well, actually Perr  has  everything  ready,” said Laf, looking very sheepish after their wife’s reprimand. “I only helped to choose the theme for the party.”

 

Of course, you find the couples dynamic endearing and love the way their relationship has thrived despite their differences.

 

"I still can't believe I forgot my own birthday. Of course, I'm excited now that you mentioned it. What’s this year’s theme?"

 

"No, no, no. We want it to be a surprise,” replies Perry.You have nothing to worry about because we will send you and Sloan your costumes on Saturday morning. Fortunately, I have both your measurements from last year, and I don't think that they’ll have changed a lot .

 

"But we promise you that it will be one of your best birthdays," adds Laf, waggling their eyebrows suggestively.

 

As usual, you can only laugh at Laf’s behavior before you take your leave of them and walk back to your car with Sloan.

 

“I’m sorry I’ve been away so much Sloan. I promise you that we’ll have a good time on my birthday. I know you don’t like parties that much, but try and have fun with the twins, okay?” 

 

"It’s okay, Mom. I understand about your work and the party. I think that I’ll have fun,” replies Sloan with a smile.

 

Those  smiles  have  been more frequent since Hayley and she became friends. You will always be grateful for the little blondes positive influence on your daughter's mood.

 

Perhaps Lafontaine is right; maybe this will be one of your best birthdays ever.

 

 

** Carmilla **

 

 

 

**Creampuff:**

 

_I'm sorry. S just falling asleep. We’re dead tired. Are you still in the office? Is Hayley with Will?_

 

**Carm:**

 

_Yes, and they’re both with SJ. It’s so obvious Will is into her. The other day, he claimed that an anchovy had gotten into SJ’s hair when I found him running his fingers through it. Isn’t that ridiculous?_

 

**Creampuff:**

 

_Hahaha. Completely absurd. They obviously have feelings for each other. I don’t understand why they don’t admit it._

 

**Carm:**

 

_I agree 100%. It is stupid to deny it, especially when everyone else can see it._

 

Okay, maybe not ‘everyone’ can speak about their feelings for someone else; especially if it’s you and your own feelings for Laura Hollis. You’ve felt this way for the past three weeks, but haven’t been able to talk to anyone about it, especially not to Laura. Because well, you may not do the whole feelings thing, and there’s certainly no way in hell that you’d ever speak of them over a phone line.

 

Even if you were brave enough to do it in person, Laura hasn’t been free since your last date. Besides even she was, it’s not like you’d have run over to her house to declare your love for her.

 

Even by text, Laura  has  a certain charm that makes your stomach do flip-flops . It’s as if your feelings grow a little more each time your phone rings or vibrates with one of her messages. Even though you haven’t seen each other in the last three weeks, both of you have spoken every day since the date. Sometimes both of you have been up until dawn because neither of you was willing to end the conversation.

 

After your last message, Laura was silent for a few minutes which felt like an eternity to you. When she finally replied, it was only to say she had to finish up at work and say goodbye because apparently, she hadn’t been sleeping well for the past few days. That might be something to do with the fact that in addition to disturbing her at work, all your messaging has been ruining her sleep. But you don’t want to seem pushy or disappointed, so you wish her a good night. 

 

Although perhaps finishing it with _Good night, Creampuff. Sleep well :**_ may have been too much, but you’d already pressed ‘send, ’ and there's nothing you can do to recall it. Hopefully, Laura was too sleepy to notice. 

 

_I thought that you grew out of puberty years ago, Karnstein! Sending cute emoticons in your messages as if you were a teenager with a crush on the captain of the cheerleading squad._

 

You try to redirect your attention to the current campaign you’re working on. It seems you’re going to have spend all night on this one, but after a few minutes consulting with your creative team, you’re interrupted by your phone ringing again. You don’t recognize the number and tell your staff to take a coffee break to give yourself time to answer.

 

"Karnstein here."

 

"Uhm..."

 

You can hear breathing and nothing else at the other end. Perfect, just what you needed, a pervert calling you on your personal number.

 

"Look dimwit, that’s the last time you call this number with this shit because the next…"

 

"Wow! Steady on, Karnstein. I can see that motherhood hasn't softened you a bit."

 

That voice.

 

It may not sound the same, but you’d still recognize that voice anywhere.

 

"Lafontaine?"

 

"And I see that your memory also remains intact. Hello, Carmilla." 

 

"Lafontaine! But how?"

 

You’re completely lost. You don't know how Lafontaine got your number after losing touch with them so many years ago. You feel slightly guilty when you remember your last conversation with Ell regarding the redhead.

 

You met Lafontaine when they started high school. The fact of being so different from the rest of  the  student population helped develop a bond between both of you. You respected them because they always kept calm when others tormented and insulted them especially when they came out as non-binary. You even remember the day t hat Lafontaine decided that  you  were friends  when  you  got up  in  the middle  of  class  to defend them from the stupid  math teacher  when he refused to call them anything other than ‘Susan’ despite multiple requests to stop . 

 

When you finally got out of detention that afternoon, Lafontaine was waiting outside with Will, who was barely a child at the time. They had stayed with him until you were released and had even bought him a couple of slices of pizza in the cafeteria as thanks for your act of support.

 

You and Lafontaine were not  the  typical  high school friends who  met in  the afternoon  to paint their nails or share secrets of who their current crush was. You just enjoyed each other’s company and didn’t look for anything else in return. Many of your afternoons were spent in their father's basement, which Laf had turned into a cave cum lair worthy of a James Bond villain. Sometimes they let Will join them too if he was willing to serve as a guinea pig for Lafontaine’s experiments. Of course, you always had to be careful that these didn’t involve explosives or toxic chemicals that would harm your brother. 

 

Although given the way that your brother behaves sometimes, you’re not certain that he hasn’t been brain damaged from some of Laf’s other experiments. One day you'll find the time to test that theory.

 

The redhead was the first to know that you had fallen in love with Ell. After a host of cheerleaders, choir singers, half the swim team and countless ‘study buddies’ you fell hard for the blonde. They even helped to organize the date where you asked her to be your girlfriend. But as the months passed, you began to spend less and less time with Laf because most of your free time was spent with Ell. Sometimes you had to lie to your girlfriend and tell her that your mother had returned from a business trip or holiday with one of her boyfriends and you needed to be at home. It was only then that you could escape to Laf’s to hang out with them.

 

Lafontaine began to suspect that your relationship with Ell was toxic and asked you to try to and establish some ground rules with her. It had already been at least three months since you had even spoken to them in the classes you both shared. When you tried to do everything they advised, Ell demanded that you stop seeing Laf. In her words, you were going to start college and didn't have any time to focus on anything other than your studies and her. When you recall her words, you can’t believe how stupid you were to believe all that crap.

 

You never  wanted to  tell  your  friend  what  was really happening ,  so  you decided  that  it  was best to break off the friendship graduall y. Each time they invited you to hang out, you would spout the most ridiculous lies. Sometimes it would be that Will was sick; in retrospect, he must have been devastated at all the times you made him lie to Laf about that. Sometimes it was that you and Ell were having dinner with your parents or that Mattie was in the city and needed you for something or that you had to study and so on. You’re well aware that Laf stopped believing any of your excuses, but for the sake of your friendship, they did not let you know how disappointed they were. Eventually, they stopped asking.

 

But now  they’re on the phone , and  it seems  as if it was only yesterday that Lafontaine invited you to hang out at their lair where you’d read your favorite books while they gleefully experimented with something that usually involved test tubes, flasks, and various chemicals. 

 

"I have my methods Karnstein. Which basically means that Sloan asked Hayley for your number.”

 

Sloan? Hayley? What do they  have  to do with Lafontaine? You hear a laugh that makes you realize that you spoke that out loud.

 

"Never mind Karnstein. We’ll have plenty of time to catch up. What’s important now is that  this  conversation is between you and me. Laura isn’t to know about this. Next Saturday is her birthday, and we know that  you and her  are 'friends.' We’re having the party at our house, and we want you and your daughter to help us surprise Laura."

 

You roll your eyes because you can clearly imagine the expression on their face at the mention of the word 'friends.'

 

"Of course. Laura won’t know a thing. Hayley and I will be there."

 

"Wait. There’s one other thing. Ahm… all of Laura’s parties have a theme, so to speak. My wife helps all our friends with their costumes to make sure they’re appropriate to the theme of the party. She’ll need to spendFriday afternoon on the last details to make sure everything is ready.”

 

"Lafontaine, what do you mean 'costumes'?" 

 

"Come on, Karnstein, you useless lesbian. It’s Laura’s birthday, you can't refuse."

 

And maybe, just maybe, Lafontaine is right. There’s very little that you’d deny Laura. But you’re a little afraid of what sort of costume you’d have to wear for this party.

 

Before  saying goodbye, you discover that  Lafontaine’s wife is  none other  than Lola Perry,  the curly redheaded counselor at Hayley and Sloan’s school. Which makes sense considering that entering her office is like walking into a sacred, untouchable area where everything is spotless and not a thing is out of place.

 

When you hang up, your team is waiting for you, ready to continue working through the night. Reluctantly, you put all your thoughts of Laura to one side until tomorrow. That’s enough time to worry that you only have four days to find the perfect gift for Laura Hollis.

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

A  thunderous crash shocks you awake, and you’re filled with rage  because you were having a rather nice dream about meeting up with Carmilla again.  It’s not if you’d had been doing that continuously since your date and after all the messages that have been passed between both of you. Sort of. 

 

It is not until you wake up completely that you realize that the noise comes from downstairs and the first thing you do is to take the bat you have under your bed. It goes without saying that it’s a gift from your dad and you run awkwardly down the stairs while uttering your most terrifying scream. Well, it sounds terrifying to you at least.

 

In the kitchen, you’re met by your daughter who raises one eyebrow in confusion at the bat. Otherwise, she looks completely unfazed at your entrance. You haven’t been able to scare a small child, and you lower the bat in embarrassment. Meanwhile, Sloan gets the broom to sweep up the remains of a glass dish.

 

"I'm sorry, ma. I wanted to borrow one of the dishes, but it slipped out of my hand."

 

You’re almost in tears at the little nickname. In all your years together, Sloan has never expressed herself so openly before. 

 

"It’s okay Sloan, it’s only a dish. Are you okay?"

 

"Sure, now that I survived the attack of my favorite gangster,” says your daughter with a smile.

 

Honestly, embarrassment has never felt so good to you.

 

"I'm sorry. Your grandfather wanted us to be 'protected' and I… Sloan why did you need the dish?”

 

"I was going to make you breakfast in bed. Hayley gave me  the  recipe  from SJ to prepare their  waffles  or as she calls them  'the  most  scrumptious  Belgian waffles in the whole world.' According to her,when it’s her  mom's  birthday, SJ  arrives  early to prepare them, and Hayley  brings them to her in bed . But I didn't have anyone to help me  this  morning,  so I  asked  Perry to help me prepare them at home yesterday, and  this  morning I  only had  to heat them in the microwave to  serve them,  but the  plate  slipped out of  my  hand.  I  'm sorry,  really. I wanted to surprise you, just not this way."

 

If Sloan calling you ‘Ma’ hadn’t affected you fully ,  her explanation about the waffles finished the job. Dropping the bat to embrace your little daughter, you realize that this is the first time you heard Sloan speak so much at one time. She seems to be opening up more to you and around you. Each day she shares more, either of her experiences with Hayley at school or her thoughts. You love that it’s much easier to talk with her now. Once you don’t press her, she tells you everything in her own time.

 

You and your daughter decide that it is better to have breakfast in the kitchen while watching _Hotel Transylvania,_ one of the few films that you both love.

 

It’s your birthday today, and although you and Carmilla have regularly been texting, you haven’t had the nerve to mention this little detail. You’ve even thought of inviting her and Hayley a few times, but you are not completely convinced that it’s a good idea. After what she did with the flowers and how close she was kissing you the last time, a party surrounded by all your friends is probably not the best way to see her again. 

 

Do you really want Danny to question her intentions regarding you and threaten to harm her if she hurts you? Or what if Perry tells her exactly how she should discuss the matter with her daughter so as not to create a false sense of security that might harm them in later life? Or what if Kirsch bugs her by asking what football team she supports or whether she prefers baseball, soccer or any one of a thousand other sports? Do you really want her to be there when Lafontaine asks for a blood sample, on the pretext of keeping Sloan’s medical records and yours up to date? No, that’s definitely not the best way to meet Carmilla again.

 

So, you leave it out of your messages because you feel it’s a little pathetic that you’d have to tell her that it’s your birthday. But even now, when you’re sitting on the couch with Sloan in your arms, you can’t help wondering if she mentioned it to Hayley.

 

"Sloan, How’s Hayley?"

 

"Well?  Uhm,  this  week she’s spending a lot of time with  Will.  I believe that her  mother  had some things to do in the afternoon. "

 

"Things to do? Carm didn’t mention anything…"

 

Sloan raises an  eyebrow, and y ou ca n't believe  the  teasing look she gives you as she smiles a little.

 

"Surely the two of you would have more interesting things to talk about?" 

 

"Sloan!"

 

You give her a playful tap on the arm while you feel yourself blushing as Sloan laughs.

 

"Ma, you text each other all the time. Not even Hayley and I text each other that often."

 

Time to change the subject. While you love your daughter's new found self-confidence, it seems to bring its own problems that you’re not remotely prepared for.

 

After breakfast, Perry arrives with the twins to sort out the last details of your costume, and you cannot help but feel overwhelmed by what Perry has made you. You don't know how to thank her enough for choosing the theme of your party and can only hug her fervently.

 

Neither Perry nor your daughter lets you see Sloan’s costume, and you’re dying of curiosity as to why. The only thing you know is that you will be going as the main character. Sloan must have its counterpart, but you decide to let it be and not ask any questions.

 

At noon,  your  father  calls to take you and Sloan to your favorite restaurant, but much as you enjoy it, you’re still a little put out when Carmilla doesn’t text you during the day. Well, you know that she doesn’t normally wake up until midafternoon on Saturdays, but part of you was hoping that she’d have sent you a message to congratulate you on your birthday. But it’s almost four in the afternoon, and you are sitting with your father and daughter eating some delicious barbecue ribs. You can’t help thinking how glorious it would be if you were sharing them with Carmilla. 

 

_Hollis! This is your father and daughter. You should be ashamed of yourself!_

 

Your father has given you a new emergency kit for your home, a phone that has all the emergency numbers of the city on speed-dial and it came with an app that sends a message to his cell if either of you is kidnapped. You don't know whether to be relieved because he’s finally trying to cope with modern phone technology or terrified by the new opportunities it’s given him to feel that he can still protect you.

 

All the waiters in the restaurant are gathered around your table singing 'Happy Birthday' while you and your father applaud. Of course, Sloan sinks into her seat as she tries to hide behind the book Carmilla gave her. This must be the third time that she’s read it in the last three weeks, and everywhere you go, she brings it with her.

 

When  the  slice of cake with a small candle is presented to you , you can only think of a single wish; the same thing that you have desired for weeks. Maybe you never grew out of childhood, but you believe that you can still have faith in magical things such as a letter saying you’d been selected for Hogwarts. Or perhaps that wishing on a star or when you blow out the candles on your birthday cake will make your fondest desire come true.

 

As you don’t have access to a shooting star at this time, your only recourse is to blow out all your candles in one breath and hope that somehow it will come true.

 

 

Also, of course, that it includes a woman called Carmilla.

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

"Carmilla, come on!"

 

"No! Get out Will!" I’m not coming out until you leave!" 

 

"Oh come on Kitty, it can’t be that bad!"

 

"No, leave now!" There’s no way you're seeing me with this on!"

 

"Come on, Kitty! You need to leave now with Hayley if you want to arrive on time for the party or the redheaded mafia is going to kill you if you deviate even one second from the schedule she sent you.

 

Your brother is right, and you hate it when that happens. So no matter how hard it is to go out dressed like this in front of him, you fix the costume one last time in the mirror before preparing to leave your room. 

 

_Just remember you’re doing this for Laura, Karnstein!_

 

You’ve never seen your brother looked so shocked, but the biggest surprise for you is that there is not a single hint of mockery in it.

 

"Wow! Kitty, you must really like Laura."

 

"Shove it, Willy-boy!"

 

"Don't get me wrong; when you told me all about this party, I though you wouldn’t go. But as weird as it may sound coming from your brother, you look... Wow!"

 

"Do you really think so?"

 

"Carmilla Karnstein. Are you actually nervous that a woman won’t like you?"

 

"Don’t talk crap , William!  It's  just  that I don't know if  Ginger  is pulling my leg or if Laura is going to  like this."

 

"Oh! Believe me, even if there wasn’t a party, Laura is definitely going to love the way you look. Now go. I’ve used up my ‘good brother’ quota for the week."

 

You hug your brother tightly before saying goodbye to him and SJ. She’s there because apparently there’s a chronic termite invasion in her house that means she can’t go home until she spends the afternoon watching movies with your brother. She complimented your outfit and that combined with your brother's words helped to increase your confidence. When you realized your feelings for Laura after not seeing her for so long, you want to impress her. Also, it is her birthday.

 

"Hey, Kitty!" 

 

Will comes back again before you drive out the garage. Hayley is in the back seat with the dress that Perry made for her, and you don't think she could look any more beautiful. Are fifty-six photos enough of your daughter in her dress? Nah! Surely you must take more when you arrive at the party. Then you have to take some of her with Sloan. And of course, a few of her with Laura….

 

Yow lower your window as Will approaches.

 

"Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you to Mother’s place?"

 

"It’s fine  Will.  I’m just going to make a quick visit to pick up something for the party. Mattie has texted me to confirm Mother is still in the office with her, so I’ll be fine. Thanks for asking; now go  enjoy your 'Netflix  and Chill.'"

 

Your brother nods with a smile and wishes you luck as he waves goodbye to Hayley and makes her laugh by pulling faces at her.

 

It’s not long before you’re parked outside the house where you grew up. Cautiously, you get out of your car, undo your daughter's seatbelt and take her by the hand as you enter the house.

 

"Why are we at Grandma's house?"

 

"I need to get something out of the vault before we go to the party."

 

“Why are we here when she’s not at home?"

 

"Cupcake, we already talked about this. Your grandmother and I, we do not get along. We had an argument, and we have not spoken to each other since."

 

"Sloan and I had an argument too.  She  said that the  stars  cannot fulfill wishes because when they fall, it’s because they are dying and that if they are dead, then they can’t do anything for us. But I  told her  that it’s magic and that the last thing they do before they die is grant our wish before they fall to earth.

 

" Seriously?  You argued about that?"

 

"For at least three hours, until I got angry because Sloan said that what I thought was stupid, and that made me angry. So I told her to go away and that I didn’t want to see her ever again. We didn’t speak for the whole recess, and then Sloan apologized to me and gave me half of the moonstone that her grandfather gave her for her birthday. I apologized too and gave her half of my peanut butter and marmalade sandwich.”

 

"Sloan did that?"

 

"Of course! And I was very happy because we were friends again and now I have something that reminds me of Sloan, and I always keep it with me."

 

"Tell me again why I'm getting a lesson in life from you?"

 

"Duh! Because it’s the same situation as you and grandmother, but what matters is that you apologize to each other and everything will be fixed, and both of you can be friends again, just like Sloan and I."

 

"I think that it would take more than an apology, Hayley. But thanks for the lesson. Wait a moment. Is that why SJ has been preparing two school lunches for you, these past few days?"

 

"Uh-huh. Sloan loves SJ’s lunches. She was always stealing my cookies or eating some of my sandwiches, so I asked SJ to prepare one for her too. Was that wrong?"

 

"Of course not, Cupcake. Tell SJ to also include an extra juice and cookies as well."

 

You are so engrossed in the conversation with your daughter that you do not realize that the main door of the house is open and the person you've avoided for so long is standing in the doorway.

 

"Carmilla, my dear. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? Or are you just here to pilfer a bottle from my cellar again?”

 

Busted.

 

"Hello, Mother," you sigh.

 

"Hayley, dear. Aren't you going to greet your grandmother?" 

 

"Granny!"

 

Hayley runs to hug your mother, and for a moment you want to forget all those nights you had to take care of William and the times that your mother did not appear at your school plays because of work. But you also remember the times you opened dozens of presents under the Christmas tree with your brother and a note that rested on the fireplace saying that your mother was in Honolulu, Dubai, Venice, Santorini or some other exotic location enjoying the holidays with her latest fling. You cannot so easily forget all the responsibility that rested on your shoulders thanks to her absence.

 

"Would you mind telling me why I have the pleasure of your company in my house? Or would you prefer to tell me first why you and Hayley are dressed up like that?" asks your mother curiously while  carrying Hayley in her arms and kissing her tenderly on both cheeks. Of course, that little act never worked with you.

 

"I need to get something from my safety deposit box in the cellar. I’m not here for anything more, Mother."

 

"Carmilla, don't be silly. I was just kidding, you never take anything that doesn't belong to you and your safety deposit box is still there for whenever you need it.”

 

You ca n't look your mother in the face when you know why  you put some things in that  safety deposit box. It’s too painful to think about now, and you don't want to ruin the mood you have. There’s no point in being nostalgic when you're about to meet Laura. So, you nod and say nothing as you walk through the house to access the vault in your mother’s house.

 

"Grandma, me and mama are going to a party!"

 

"Oh really Hayley, It’s 'Mama and I.' But do tell me more over cookies in the kitchen while we let your mother collect whatever it is she wants."

 

It’s  the last thing  you hear before you stand before the great vault with four security doors.  You can’t remember  the last  time you  were in front  of  them,  maybe before Hayley was born. But time seems to have stood still here and you feel a lump in your throat. You thought that it would be easier with the passing of the years. You thought you had gotten over things after so long. 

 

Apparently, you're wrong.

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

 

**Cupcake:**

 

_Are you still in bed, Sleeping Beauty? How are you?_

 

 

**Cupcake:**

 

_Mmm. I suppose that you’re still asleep. Sorry, sleep well._

 

**Cupcake:**

 

_Carm? Are you busy? I just wanted to say hello and wish you good day. Kiss Hayley for me._

 

**Cupcake:**

 

_Did I do something wrong? Aren't you going to speak to me in today? Has someone robbed your cell phone, and you're not Carm?_

 

**Cupcake:**

 

_If you are not Carm, please give my messages and tell her I miss her. If you're Carm, Hey! I don't know if you've noticed, but you have not answered or a single message today, and that’s not like you._

 

**Cupcake:**

 

_Fine! Don’t answer me then. I don't care if you don't want to talk with me today. I have many other important things to do anyway. Have a good afternoon or whatever._

 

Okay, maybe the last message was unnecessary, but you’re fed up of texting Carmilla today without receiving any response. And it’s not as if you’re a crazy possessive … girlfriend? No, you and Carmilla are nothing more than friends; and yes, you do have feelings for her, but you don't even know if she feels the same way. It’s just that you’ve been so used to her replying within moments of sending a message that her lack of response, on your birthday of all days, is driving you crazy.

 

Maybe she got fed up after not seeing you for so long? Or she’s realized that it was not worthwhile persisting with someone like you? Maybe she’s been kidnapped by one of the blonds from the restaurant? 

 

And if not them, maybe there’s someone else who’s willing to share all their free time with Carmilla, who doesn’t need to send silly text messages at night because they have nothing else to give her. Someone whose time doesn’t have to be split between their work and their daughter. Someone without commitments that allows her to sleep with them for one night and carry on with her life without any problems. 

 

Thinking that Carmilla could be with someone else makes your stomach turn and is not the best way to spend your birthday. Time to put on your big girl pants, Laura. You've never cried for anyone; your only broken heart was Danny, and yet you never felt so disappointed. You thought that you and Carmilla had become close. As it is, it looks like she doesn’t want to know you anymore. Even if the tear that runs down your cheek says otherwise, you will not let this hurt.

 

There’s a knock on the door and Lafontaine around it after you tell them to come in.

 

"Laur, you look beautiful! It is not just that my wife has talented hands if you know what I mean, but that dress is exquisite."

 

"Please tell me you didn't mean  any sexual innuendo when you referred to Perry’s  ‘ talented hands.'

 

What do you think?" replies Laf, waggling their eyebrows and smiling broadly.

 

"Laf! The last thing I want for my birthday is to have a mental image that includes you and Perry doing… that"

 

"Is that so? Geez, Laur! I believe that you really need to have sex. Oh, sorry! You need to have 'that'…"

 

As usual, you blush furiously. Although Laf has an argument in their favor, it’s not possible to do that because of who you want to do… that… with.

 

Seriously, Laura? You’re acting like a five-year-old that can’t say the word ‘sex.’ The person you want to 'do it' with hasn’t answered your messages, and you believe that everything has been ruined. Your lower lip is protruding alarmingly, and you’re on the verge of tears.

 

"Woah! What happened, Laura? I thought that everything was going great with Carmilla."

 

"What? How do you know that…?"

 

"Come on! You haven’t stopped talking about her since your date."

 

"Well, she hasn’t answered any of my messages today, Laf. I wanted to invite her to the party, but we haven’t seen each other since the date, and I thought bringing her here would be too much, with all of you present. Oh, my God, I love you! But I didn’t think it was the best occasion for a second date, and I haven’t been able to meet her because I have so little time between my job and Sloan. But honestly, who could go out with someone like me? If it weren’t for you and Perry, I wouldn’t have even celebrated my birthday tonight. And Carmilla is so beautiful and intelligent and nice and sweet, and I have to understand that she will never see me the same way."

 

"Hey, hey, hey! Laur, no. Don't say things like that. You are a great woman, you have a wonderful daughter and that child is so great, compassionate and gentle is because you’re a wonderful mother. Carmilla must be occupied with something important to not answer your messages."

 

"With something or someone," you reply bitterly.

 

 

"Give her the benefit of the doubt, and she might surprise you. Either way, we are here to celebrate your birthday, so let's talk about happier things. Perry wanted to know if you were ready to go down and I wanted to give you your present before you do," they say, before handing you a small envelope.

 

"I know that you've always wanted to  go  to Broadway to see  the  original, but with your job and Sloan, we know that  it would be  somewhat  difficult. S o I got tickets to a  local showing.  Of course, it won’t be as dazzling as the original, but I have heard  very  good reviews of the show.  Happy  Birthday, L"

 

"But Laf, Perry and you always give me your gift together."

 

"Oh! This is not our gift. This is 'my' gift for you. Open it!"

 

The smile of your friend borders on the absurd and you can't help smiling back. Taking the envelope in your hands, you open it. Inside are two tickets for _Beauty and the Beast - The Musical_.

 

"LAF!  I have no words. But thank you so much.  You didn't have to give me anything else,  the party and your friendship are more than enough. I don’t think I can ever be too thankful for everything  you do for Sloan and me,"

 

"Well, well. I knew you’d like them, but I’d didn’t know you’d be this cheesy , Hollis.  Now, if you're almost ready, I’ll let Perry know, and we look forward to seeing you downstairs. Okay?"

 

When Lafontaine leaves the room, you touch up your makeup that has been somewhat affected by all your emotions. But you still take one last look at your mobile.

 

Zero, nothing. Fine! You're not going to let Carmilla stop you. Fuck! Today is your birthday, you have your daughter and friends that you would die for, so you're going to enjoy your party and forget Carmilla completely.

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

Is it natural for your hands to sweat this way? When you arrived at the Weasley twins house a few minutes ago, you had to say hello to the walking fire hydrant or Danny as the other redheads called her.

 

You might have been more civil to her if the first thing out of her mouth wasn’t a warning of what would happen to you if you hurt Laura. What are you supposed to do with that?

 

Fortunately, catching up with Lafontaine gives you the patience to endure the situation. Unfortunately, the redhead is even more whipped by their wife than you had imagined. You can almost picture Molly Homemaker clicking her fingers and Lafontaine jumping as high as they can. That will never happen to you! 

 

Okay, it won’t happen ever again. Never. No. 

 

It doesn’t matter that this time you are in the living room of a strange house surrounded by strangers, in a completely ridiculous costume and waiting to see the woman that makes you sigh every time you think about her. Nope, you’re definitely not whipped.

 

There’s a tall guy that you recognize from somewhere but can't remember from where. Maybe you’re mixing him up with Lurch from the Addams family. T hat could be it.

 

You also discover that this guy is Groot’s boyfriend. Okay, maybe it would better if you stopped assigning nicknames to the redhead, but then where would be the fun in that?

 

When Lafontaine returns from their trip upstairs, they give you a bright smile. In fact, They’ve been smiling since you arrived at the 'burrow.' Of course, it’s an obvious reference to the Weasleys because it’s far too easy with two other small redheads dancing around the house with your daughters. 

 

Correction. Your daughter and Sloan. Since you arrived, you haven't been able to exchange more than two words with Laf, because his wife has constantly been at their side making sure everything is ready for when Laura makes her grand entrance. Or at least, that’s what Curly Sue called it. Lafontaine asks you to go to the foot of the staircase and wait for Laura there.

 

From the moment you see Laura walk down those stairs, you’re sure you’ve forgotten how to breathe. 

 

But if you see think Laura in her dress is not enough, the expression of surprise, the dilated eyes and the way her mouth hangs open as soon as she sees you make the wait and even the ridiculous garb worthwhile.

 

You extend your hand to help her down the last few steps, and for a moment you truly believe that time has stopped around her, leaving both of you alone amongst all these people. Laura smiles widely as you look into her eyes and you’re completely lost in them. Your gaze is distracted when Laura bites her lower lip, and you are sure that if the phrase 'Happy Birthday!' didn’t ring out from everyone, you’d have tasted those lips with your own.

 

Laura gets distracted by all the hugs of her friends and all the children. Perry yells at everyone to come to the main table to have some snacks that she prepared that afternoon, and the children are the first to grab all of the sweet treats. They turn a deaf ear to Perry’s exhortation to take some of the healthier options. Lafontaine reminds her that it’s a party and she needs to relax a little.

 

You walk toward the table when you see the way Laura embraces Groot. It’s not that you’re jealous or something, you just wanted to spend a little more time with her.

 

You grab a couple of cucumber sandwiches and a small cup of mint tea when the tall guy comes over to make small talk. Apparently, it’s typical of sports fans to have nothing else to talk about because the first thing he enquires about is your favorite football team. You respond that you don't have any and that all you know is that your brother is a fan of the New England Patriots. 

 

That was your worst mistake. Now the guy introduces himself as Kirsch and takes your comment as an invitation to have an actual conversation with you. This turns into a monolog on his part that your mind blocks as much as it can while you watch the graceful movements of the blonde around the room.

 

Laura greets someone you think is  called  Betsy, or something else that you can't be bothered remembering. Meanwhile, a tall and imposing woman who has been introduced as Laura’s boss talks with Lafontaine and Perry about something you finally realize is the process of artificial insemination by which they had the twins. In excruciating detail.

 

You manage a small laugh when you see Clifford is sitting at the children’s table which she dwarves. In reality, it is amazing how well she gets along with them as they talk and laugh together. Of course, your daughter is the one that speaks the most of the whole table, and Sloan shares a complicit smile with you when she catches your eye. The twins were trying to persuade her that apparently, Gryffindor is the best Hogwarts house. You feel a little sorry for them, they don't know what they're getting into when trying to discuss that with your daughter.

 

_"Do you think that Tom Brady knew whether the ball was deflated or not?"_

 

Perfect. This is your cue to leave the redhead’s puppy, and you make your excuses. A party is not tempting enough to make you want to be there when all you want is spend a little time with Laura. You cannot blame her; it is of course her party, and she has to spend some time with the other guests. Even so, you can't help but feel a little disappointed.

 

Looking for a bathroom on the second floor, you discover that the hallway leads to a small balcony at the front of the house. Perhaps a breath of fresh air would be better instead. You don't know how much time passed, but you feel a lot better after leaning on the parapet looking up at the stars when you hear a familiar voice.

 

" _Can you die of happiness_?"

 

"Cupcake, did you just quote Jane Austen?"

 

When you turn, you are met with the most sublime vision you have ever seen. The long white dress that Laura wears makes her look even more angelic than she already does. It has a modest cut across her chest, but it still allows for a delightful view of her cleavage. Her hair is gathered up with just a few strands framing her face while still showing of the delicacy of her exquisite neck.

 

"I'm only doing justice to the impeccable work of Perry and Lafontaine with this party. I never thought I say this, but I don’t think that anyone else would look as well as you do as Mr. Darcy.

 

"Well, I had to this properly if I was to be at the side of the most beautiful Miss Bennet I have ever seen."

 

Of course, Laura's cheeks go red again, and you give thanks that the moonlight illuminates such a perfect vision.

 

"I have something for you; do you think you can wait a few minutes?" 

 

"Trying to seduce me, Miss Karnstein?"

 

"Is that a yes, Miss Hollis?"

 

Laura  laughs,  and  you  can’t deny it any longer .  You're in love with  this woman  and will  do  whatever is  necessary to keep her this happy forever. You can’t fight this anymore.

 

You race to your car and grab the  gift bag  on the back seat. You left it there because you are not sure if  your  gift  would be too much. But what the hell! Now you’re certain that Laura is going to love it.

 

When you return Laura is not on the balcony, and while you start to look for her upstairs, you bump into Lafontaine who has a smile from ear to ear.

 

"You looking for something, Karnstein?"

 

"Ahm. No, I had to go to the bathroom."

 

"I guess it’s easy to confuse a bathroom with a balcony." 

 

"Oh God, you’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?"

 

You didn’t think it was possible, butLafontaine's smile grows bigger. After growling in exasperation, you finally give in.

 

"Fine! I’m looking for Laura."

 

"Oh! May I ask what for?"

 

"Lafontaine! I’ll kill you…"

 

"Okay, no need to murder anyone tonight. Laura is in the loft. Don't worry about anything, Hayley is in good hands. Take your time. Oh! When you see Laura, let her know that this is her gift from Perry and me.

 

You don't understand half a word of what Laf said. To be honest, the only thing that you care about is that Laura is in the loft Well that and that your daughter will be fine. So you can concentrate on Laura.

 

"By the way Carmilla? It’s great to see you again.”

 

 

** Laura  **

 

 

 

You don't  know what  you did  in your past lives to deserve the friends you have . Perry and Laf’s plan to have a themed birthday party based on Jane Austen (your favorite author ever) is the best idea they’ve ever had.

 

When  your dress was delivered,  you couldn't stop thinking about  the  hours you spent during  your  adolescence dreaming about  meet  someone like  Mr.  Darcy. Of course, when you walked down the stairs and saw Carmilla dressed in brown trousers with riding boots, a white blanket shirt open that gave you a great view of her cleavage and a long blue coat, you thought you’d faint at that precise moment. You had long since abandoned the idea of finding someone like Mr. Darcy, but when you see Carmilla in your party dressed like that and knowing that she probably hates that sort of thing, you think you've found your Darcy. 

 

And if Miss Bennet had the courage to accept his love for her, then what’s stopping you, Hollis?

 

A few minutes after Carmilla leaves you waiting on the balcony, you decide that you’ve wasted enough time. It’s time to let her know how you feel. Perhaps the woman won’t feel the same way, but it is certain that she must feel something if she did this for you.

 

You hear a few steps behind you and all you can think is that as soon as you see Carmilla, you’re going to kiss her with  all  the  enthusiasm you've been holding back these past three weeks.

 

But curse your luck, because it’s Lafontaine. They beg you to help them look for a clean tablecloth in their loft because apparently, the twins spilled a bit of tea and Perry is going crazy trying to clean it up. You know what Perry’s like and of course you agree to help your friend. Laf goes back downstairs while you climb hesitantly to the attic.

 

But when you get up there , you realize Laf wasn’t being truthful.  T here is a small  table set up  with some snacks and a small  cooler  containing a couple of  bottles  of wine. The  room  is  illuminated  by a few candles, and  the table is  positioned  just  below the  skylight, letting in the moonlight and giving you a perfect view of the stars. 

 

You’re torn between admiring the romantic setting and trying to understand what’s going on when a familiar voice makes you smile again.

 

"Hey!"

 

"Hey!"

 

"I bumped into Laf, and they said that this is your gift from them and their wife."

 

"Of course it is…"

 

Oh…Oh!

 

Now it all makes sense.

 

Carmilla has a small gift bag in her hand, and your smile gets bigger when you realize that she went to the trouble of buying you something. But how did she know that it was your birthday?

 

"I’m thrilled to see you here, but … how?"

 

"You can thank Laf. We were friends a few years ago and, well, do you remember when I told you that I cut everyone out of my life? Laf was a part of that."

 

"Laf, how?"

 

"Well, it seems  your daughter  decided that they should be inviting me to  your party,  so  she got my number from Hayley.  Laf called me at the  beginning  of  the  week with  the  invitation  and gave me the  details.  Yesterday we visited  the boss at her  office  to try on the costumes she made for Hayley and me. So, here we are."

 

"Carm… that is… Carm!"

 

"What, Cupcake?"

 

"Is that why you haven't answered my messages?"

 

"What messages? Laura, I was so eager for this party that I haven’t checked my phone all day.”

 

"Oh, my God! Don't pay attention to any of my messages. I wrote thinking that you knew nothing of my birthday and when you didn’t reply, I got angry because I thought that you were ignoring me and I wanted to hear your voice. I really wanted to hear from you, and there was no reply, and then I lost my temper and said stupid things. Please don’t read them."

 

You sink your face into your hands, and you feel so embarrassed that you can’t look Carmilla in the face. Of course, you’re going to look like a fool when Carmilla reads the stupid messages, and she’ll never talk to you again because you're crazy.

 

"Hey, hey. Creampuff, it’s okay. I understand. Don't worry about it."

 

Carmilla patiently pulls your hands away from your face. When you look up, you can’t believe all the generosity and softness that you see in her eyes. All the love? 

 

"Would you like to open your gift?"

 

You probably should be saying something now, but let's be  fair. With Carmilla looking at you that way, it’s impossible . So you nod. It’s all you can do, and she hands you her gift.

 

When you pull out what’s in the bag, you can't believe what’s in your hand. You try to touch it as gently as possible.

 

"Carm! I can't believe it. How did you get this?"

 

"My father was a collector of rare books. When he died, I inherited his entire library, including all the first editions. When Curly Sue told me that you were a fan of Austen, I knew this would be the perfect gift for you."

 

"Carm, I feel really flattered, but I can’t accept this. Your father left you this as part of your legacy, and besides, this must be worth a fortune."

 

"A few thousand Euros." 

 

"How many thousands?"

 

"The last time a copy as good as this came up for auction, it sold for a hundred thousand euros." 

 

"Carm! That's a lot of money, I cannot accept something  like that."

 

"Laura, I don’t want you to accept it for what it's worth monetarily. I want you to take it as a gift from me. I am sure that my father would be thrilled to find a reader of Austen as devoted as you."

 

Carmilla tells you this while taking your hands between hers and her body was dangerously close to yours. You place the invaluable first edition of 'Pride and Prejudice' on the table, with all the care that a book from 1813 demands.

 

"Carm…"

 

You can't take it anymore, you need to do something now before you really do go crazy. So when Carmilla eyes drop to your lips again, you pull her close and crash your lips against hers. For a second, you wonder if that was a good move because Carmilla seems to be in shock, but it doesn’t take long before she’s kissing you back.

 

It’s everything  you  imagined when you fantasized about kissing her. Actually, that’s a lie; it is much  more  than  what  you dreamed. Her  lips  are insistent, but also soft and  gentle in the way they dance with yours. They taste sweeter than you assumed, which is surprising coming from someone that doesn’t have a sweet tooth like you, but there’s also a subtle citrus tang. Carmilla takes your face between her two hands and caresses each your cheeks gently as if she’s afraid she might break you. You don't want this kiss to end and curse the very human need to breathe.

 

Although she withdraws her lips, your foreheads stay together. You sense that like you, her eyes are closed in concentration and both of you trying to say everything with your hands that are still gently stroking each other’s faces.

 

When a 'Happy Birthday, Laura' leaves her lips, you smile, and a tear of happiness rolls down your cheek when you realize that birthday wishes can come true.

 

 

 

 


	16. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura makes a decision about Carmilla. 
> 
> Carmilla must make a decision about her future.
> 
> Mattie introduces a character that could change everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hungover and my work shift does not end util 6 pm. How can I deal with it, right! posting this chapter earlier. 
> 
>  
> 
> This is kinda short but Plot, people! Not everything has to be Hollistein in love. Well, it has to, but not today. 
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry, still a little drunk here. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway enjoy!
> 
>    
> PS. Help me to reach the 200 kudos ;) 
> 
>  
> 
> xoxo
> 
>  
> 
> Mckie

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

Before you know it, your lips are moving in rhythm with Laura’s, and your heart is beating like a runaway train. Closing your eyes, you allow Laura to set the pace and let yourself be carried away. There’s no way you’re ruining this moment.

 

_ It was about damn time, Karnstein _ . 

 

You’re still grateful that it was Laura who took the initiative though, not that you’d ever admit that out loud. All you can think about is the softness of her lips and how sweet they taste. There’s a hint of chocolate chip cookies and raspberry tea, something you’re sure you’ll never get tired of where Laura is concerned.

 

You haven’t the faintest idea how long Laura and you have been kissing, but it hasn't been long enough, and both of you will have to return to the party at some point. She hasn’t moved from her spot and still kisses you between smiles. Your heart hasn’t felt this full since you held Hayley for the first time.

 

As you continue to kiss Laura, your mind registers a murmur that you try to ignore. Why would you waste time talking when you’re savoring the best kisses you’ve ever had? Ah, of course! Laura; Laura Hollis wants to talk, and somehow you force yourself to stop and give her the bare minimum of space to let her speak.  

 

You last less than a second before you begin kissing her again between words.

 

"Carm... * _ kiss* _  I think…* _ kiss* _   we * _ kiss* _ should  * _ kiss kiss* _   talk…."

 

"Creampuff, you're talking and honestly * _ kiss* _ it’s not what I want you to do now," you reply while holding her cheeks and staring directly into her eyes so that she knows you’re serious.

 

Laura smiles at your earnestness, but to you it’s almost a matter of life or death whether you keep kissing her. Even though a very small part of you is embarrassed at behaving like a teenager with her, it doesn’t matter. You only know that you want to keep kissing her. Nothing else will suffice.

 

But when you’re about to resume this very important task, she takes a step back and looks you in the eye with the same seriousness as a few minutes ago.  

 

_ Oh, oh. _

 

You sigh resignedly. Although it’s almost physically painful for you to keep your distance, you still give your full attention to Laura and let her speak.

 

"Carm, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that. Really…" 

“Me too, Cupcake.  Please tell me why we’re we still not doing it?"

Honestly, you sound worse than a fifteen-year-old in the backseat of her parent’s car who has brought their girlfriend to the drive-in. For weeks, you’ve wanted to kiss her, but Laura isn’t smiling anymore because she obviously thinks you’re not taking this seriously. You raise your hands in defeat, give her an apologetic look and nod at her to continue.

 

"Carm, it’s just that I’m not certain if I can do this _." _

 

Okay, that's new.

 

"Laura…"

 

"Listen to me. I like you a lot and I… I think I feel something more for you. But I need to know exactly what we are doing. I can't risk a one-night stand. Sloan loves Hayley, and so do I. If this doesn’t work out between us, then it would be hard on them. They shouldn’t have to pay for our mistakes.  Can you imagine how strange it would be to see us after… well, you know and then… uhm, we don’t … ‘you know’ anymore .

 

"Laura…"

 

"Well if you don't believe it would be hard, I do believe that it would be odd. And I’m afraid to risk the best friendship my daughter has had in years. In fact, it’s the only friendship she’s ever had. I can't, Carm. I don’t think you would either because I know our daughters are the most important thing in our lives. If I mean nothing more to you than a one-night-stand, then believe me as much as I would love to, because God! Of course, I would love to, I can't…."

 

"Have you finished, Hollis?"

 

Laura looks mortified and agitated by everything she’s just said. How does she talk so much without pausing for breath? It’s probably one of those things that you’ll never figure out.

 

"Laura, of course I like you. Honestly.”

 

You take a step closer to Laura and take her hands in yours, interlacing your fingers.

 

"I need more than that, Carm. It’s not just our hearts that are at stake here."

 

Before you can react, Laura gives you an apologetic smile. She lets go of your hands to take your face between hers and gives you a small, almost ghost like kiss that you can barely feel on your lips. You hear her last words as if from a great distance before she leaves the loft.

 

"Thank you again for the present, but it wouldn’t be right for me to accept it."

 

And you’re stunned because your mind can’t process everything that just happened. Just a moment ago, you and Laura were kissing each other as if your lives depended on it; now you find yourself alone in the middle of an empty room thinking about what you should have said to make her stay.

  
    
  


 

 

**Laura**

  
  
  


 

 

 

"YOU LEFT HER THERE?"

 

"Danny! I already feel like an idiot without you rubbing it in."

 

"I don't know what to tell you, Hollis. You have been begging for an opportunity like this for months, and when it finally arrives, you chicken out!"

 

"I know! But it's not that simple Danny. Carmilla only said that she  _ liked _ me and that’s not

enough. Imagine if she and I started a romantic relationship, and the girls further strengthened their friendship.  What if they believed that we’d end up living together and becoming one big family and then suddenly something bad happens between us and we end up divorced and hating each other? Sloan would never forgive me if she lost Hayley, simply because I couldn’t keep it in my pants.”

 

You whisper this last bit as if you were still a child and your father was within earshot ready to chastise you for saying a bad word.

 

"Woah! Calm down Laura, you’re rambling again.  Before you get around to divorcing Carmilla, maybe you should find out what she’s looking for in your relationship first.  Don't take this the wrong way, Hollis, but from what you told me, you didn’t even give her a chance to speak for herself."

 

You consider your best friends words carefully. Maybe she’s right, but you’re not going to admit that yet because she’ll never let you live it down. You frown when you consider that maybe you've ruined the opportunity you had with Carmilla to be something more than the mother of her daughter’s best friend. It is true that you’re afraid that you’ll get your heart broken, but you’re still more afraid that Sloan will come off worse. You had never felt so confused in your life nor did you think that your birthday would end like this.

 

"Laura, I don't know Carmilla. I can't say that I’m confident that she won't hurt you, because you know I’m concerned about who’s at yours and Sloan’s side. But I think that you are worrying about things that may never happen."

 

Danny’s right. You know that.

 

You let out a groan and pout. After waiting for so long to see if Carmilla saw you as anything more than a friend, you passed up on a gold-plated opportunity to find out. You didn’t even try to see if it would lead anywhere.

 

Danny is sympathetic and understanding as usual, but you just want to scream at how stupid you were. A Tardis would come be useful now; you’d return to the loft and taste Carmilla’s lips on yours all over again.

 

"I think I ruined everything, Danny," you groan.

 

"No, I don’t think so. You just panicked and overreacted this time. Besides, it’s not like you’re never going to see Carmilla again. Why don’t you ask her out? Come on, Hollis! I know that you have the courage to face down a god if it came to it, so asking someone out shouldn’t be that difficult for you.”

 

"Are you telling me I should ask her out on another date?"

 

"If you think she’s worth it, then why not?"

 

Is she worth it? Of course, Carmilla Karnstein is worth any amount of trouble. You realize it’s time to pull up your big girl pants and fight for what you want. And if it means that you have to fight for Carmilla, then so be it.

 

"You're right, Danny. Carmilla is worth it, and I should put aside any preconceptions I have and speak plainly with her. No more imagining scenarios where everything goes wrong!”

 

Danny beams at your determination and acceptance of her advice Okay, it’s something that she’ll probably tease you about later, but you don’t have time to think about that. Now you need to focus on how you’re going to move forward in your relationship with Carmilla.

 

_ " _ Right! Carmilla Karnstein, prepare  to be wooed by Laura Hollis, _ "  _ you cry while doing your patented happy dance. 

 

Danny shakes her head in bemusement at your antics, but can’t help smiling anyway. 

 

"Don’t you mean, prepare to be wooed by Laura Hollis, queen of the nerds?"  

 

"Shut it, Danny!"

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

You haven’t heard from Laura for three days. After she left the  room where you kissed, you hardly saw her at the party. Of course, she was surrounded by all her friends, so that wasn’t too surprising.

 

Hayley was the only one who got to speak to Laura. Between hugs, she gave her a drawing of Laura and her playing Quidditch on a huge field that was meant to be Hogwarts. You and Sloan were sitting in the stadium seats, cheering them on. According to your daughter, you’re a Slytherin which is supposedly something to do with your dark sense of humor. This time you’ve been drawn with a long green and silver scarf around your neck. Sloan wears a red and yellow in honor of the Gryffindor House. Hayley keeps saying that Sloan has the courage to belong to that house since she had to climb out the window to retrieve Bagheera when he escaped for a moment  on her last visit. You find yourself agreeing with Hayley.

 

Great, now you’re turning into a Potterhead! These two blonds are going to drive you crazy. If they haven’t already done so.

 

But the absence of Laura reminds you that perhaps there’s only one blonde controlling your life. You don’t even get a good morning text when you wake up anymore.

 

Maybe it wasn’t the best decision to attend the party. Perhaps if you had given Laura enough time to make her understand that what you want with her is real, this wouldn’t have happened. Or if you had been quick enough to stop her before she left or courageous enough to look for her afterward?

 

There’s nothing you do about those things now. It is not that you don't want to contact Laura, but you’ve no idea if she wants to hear from you. Judging by the way she’s keeping her distance, it seems she doesn’t. You’ve ruined everything.

 

_ Deep breaths, Karnstein. _

 

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

 

Elsie’s voice seems to come from a distance. When you don’t respond, she snaps her fingers in front of your face several times until she finally has your attention.

 

"What!?"

 

"Your cell phone, Carmilla. It’s been ringing for the past twenty minutes and driving us all nuts. Are you going to answer it or not?” 

 

You grab your phone from your desk, hoping that maybe it’s a certain blonde at last. To your disappointment though, you recognize your sister's number.

 

Still, it must be serious if she’s ringing you during working hours. When you answer it immediately, you find a very cheerful Mattie on the line. Perhaps too cheerful for the middle of a working week. 

 

"Oh good, you’re actually alive. Good afternoon, little monster! So glad you deigned to answer my call.”

 

"I'm sorry, Mattie, but I've had a really busy morning."

 

It’s the first excuse that occurs to you. There’s no way in Hell or Hogwarts that you’re going to admit that you’ve been thinking about Laura all morning. 

 

Great, now you’re swearing by the name of a fictional place. From a child’s book series, no less. You’re going from bad to worse.

 

"Don't worry. I just wanted to know if we could meet up for lunch this afternoon." 

"I can’t Mattie, I have to take Hayley to her painting class."

"Don't worry about it, Carmilla. Since I couldn’t get you on the phone, I told Will that he could take the afternoon as long as he collected Hayley from school and looked after her for the afternoon. Also, that girl, SJ, offered to 'take care of it' along with Will. It seems the poor girl is quite fond of our brother for some reason.”

 

You can’t help smiling at your sister’s approval. At last, Will has someone and you don’t have to worry about his heart being broken again. But although you decide to accept your sister's invitation, you know she’s up to something.

 

"Mattie, what are you not telling me?"

 

"Carmilla! Can I not just invite my sister out because I feel like it?"

 

"Mattie…"

 

"Okay, fine. It’s not just that. I need to talk about business."

 

"Business? Mattie, I don’t know anything about legal matters. I don't see how I can help you in that…"

 

"It’s okay, dear. I know Mother wanted you to be a lawyer, but I’m not asking you to be one this afternoon."

 

You laugh bitterly at the memory of these fights with your mother regarding your choice of career. While it’s true that your B.A. is in Philosophy, the opportunity to work for the agency came as a surprise when one of Ell’s friends invited you to take on a project after he saw your skill at drawing.  You were about to finish college, and it was an opportunity to earn some money for your imminent wedding to Ell. When you started there as a trainee, you never thought that you would become an essential part of the company. Not only that but you ended up loving the work and agency so much, that you’re still working there after so many years.

 

Mattie seems to notice your hesitation and her tone changes to a more business-like one.

 

"Carmilla, I really need your help. Just meet me for lunch and hear me out.”

 

Of course, you're not going to refuse Mattie, no matter how much it hurt you when she left to attend law school almost as soon as your father abandoned all of you. But she’s still your sister, and she has always expressed her love and support for you. You owe her this much.

 

Also, you may need a small distraction from everything that has been on your mind for the last few days, so you tell her you’ll meet her in an hour. Mattie doesn’t have to remind you where to meet. The Michelin-starred 'Au Trianon' is the most expensive restaurant in the country and it’s also Mattie’s favorite place for lunch.

 

When you arrive, you can see her sitting at the best table in the center of the restaurant. Naturally, Mattie loves the attention, but it’s not as if she has to sit there to attract it. She could be the darkest pokiest corner of this place, and her elegance and class would still be the first thing anyone would notice when they walked in.

 

When you approach, you notice an emaciated elderly man sitting next to her. He’s dressed in a tailored suit that looks like it would cost you thousands to just look at it. However, he has the appearance of a man ruined and mistreated by life. He’s a bundle of nerves and sitting beside your self-assured, confident sister makes him look even worse. He looks familiar, but you can’t think of who he might actually be.

 

Your sister greets you gracefully, waving her hand almost as if she’s the Queen of England acknowledging one of her subjects. When you reach the table, Mattie embraces you warmly and give you a tender kiss on the cheek, and you return it as best as you can. You thought that this would be a business lunch between be the two of you. Immediately your view is directed toward the strange guest at the table. The man gets up from his seat and shakily extends his hand. Finally, Mattie decides to introduce him.

 

"Carmilla, I’m sure you know Cornelius Vordenberg, Prime Minister of Austria."

 

Now it’s starting to make sense. You recognize the man as the same person that’s been all over the media in the last few weeks. But he looks very different in the flesh. He’s a weak man, almost sickly, with dark circles under his eyes. His smile is watery but almost hopeful. It’s nothing like the pictures of this man entering the legislature among a sea of journalists with thousands of questions, pictures that appear on a daily basis. They’re everywhere from the smallest outlets, to the most prestigious nationwide ones. You can only think of the one where Laura Hollis works. So here you are sitting in front of the Prime Minister, and still the only thing you can think off is her. Perfect!

 

Time to put your crush aside for the moment.

 

You take the hand of the decrepit man, and it's almost like squeezing Hayley’s plasticine between your fingers. His fingers feel like they’d break if you grip them too hard. 

 

The Prime Minister greets you gently while your sister introduces you.

 

"Prime Minister, this is the best publicist in all of Austria. And I’m not just saying that because she’s my sister.”

 

You give Mattie a grateful look for her appreciative words. It’s hard for her to express herself so openly, so you're a little impressed with her.

 

As soon as the three of you take your seats, Mattie decides it’s better to order some drinks, so the conversation is more enjoyable. Your sister orders the most expensive wine from the list, and the Prime Minister does the same, while you order your usual whiskey and coke.

 

Before the drinks arrive, Mattie speaks with Vordenberg about some of the details of the case against him. In all the years you have spent with your sister, you’ve still never seen her at work. You’re aware that she’s good at her job and is very passionate about her career. She’s always been respected and has achieved great things in her life. There’s no doubt in your mind that she’s devoted to her work and she’s already known as one of the best lawyers in the country. 

 

Even so, it’s amazing that she is now representing no less a person than the Prime Minister. But at this point, the only thing you can feel is admiration for the easy way she deals with the man.

 

When the drinks arrive, Mattie raises a toast to Vordenberg before the real conversation begins.

 

"Well, Carmilla. I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve invited you to join us for lunch. I guess that you’re aware that the Prime Minister’s re-election campaign is being tarnished by unjustified accusations and fake news about alleged misappropriation of public funds. What we need now, is to help him to fight back against these slanders. We need to remind people of all the good he has done for this country. To do this, we want to bring your agency on board. _ " _

 

This is a side to your sister that you’ve never seen before. She’s firm and confident, without the slightest hesitation in presenting her case. If this is the way she argues for her clients in court, you have no doubt that she will prevail against the Prime Ministers enemies without your help.

 

"Mattie, we don't have any experience with the political side of things. We wouldn’t even know where to begin…"

 

"Don’t worry about that, Bella. You will have full access and cooperation with the PM’s team. All of us will work together to restore his good name and defeat those sensationalist media who claim they have truth on their side when all they are doing is spreading unsubstantiated allegations.

 

"Mattie, I think that I would have to clear this with my boss first…"

 

"Oh! But that has already been sorted, Carmilla. Ian has assured us that we can count on you to be the creative director of this campaign. One of the conditions for giving your agency this substantial contract was that you were to oversee this. Ian, for his part, is very pleased because in his own words there’s no one more qualified. The real purpose of this meal is to make it official and let you know that from tomorrow you will receive all the information you need to run the campaign."

 

"Honestly Mattie, I think you might be placing too much responsibility on my shoulders.” 

 

"If you’re concerned about the political element, there’s no reason to worry. The Prime Minister has assured me that he’s already hired one of the best press secretaries in Europe. He says her vast experience in working with many political household names speaks for itself. She has to finish up a few things before she comes to Austria, but as soon as she arrives, she’ll be in touch with us.

 

Vordenberg just nods to everything your sister says. He’s obviously experienced enough to give your sister free reign to be his official spokesperson and feels no need to add anything to her words. When she finishes speaking, he excuses himself to use the bathroom, leaving both of you alone at the table.

 

"Carmilla, I’m relying on you to deliver your very best efforts in this case. I know that I don't have to worry about your professionalism, but you need to know that I’m counting on you. I don't have to remind you that this is not only important for my career, but for Will’s and of course, for our mother’s business. Even if you don't want to accept or recognize it, she gave us many advantages in life. Mother did the best she could to care for us since our father decided he wanted to live the  _ La Vida Loca _ and abandoned all of us."

 

You look your sister in the eye, and you can see how much she’s trusting you. She even seems a bit nervous because you know how this could make-or-break her, not just Will and your mother. You can't do anything other than nod with a slight smile.

 

"Mattie, you don't have to worry. I will do everything in my power not to disappoint you. But I want you to know that this has nothing to do with the money that’s involved, the future of the firm or the acceptance of our mother; I'm not even doing it for Will. I’m doing it simply because of my love for you. I want you to be fully aware of that."

 

"Well, well, Carmilla. No need to be so sentimental,” she says with a laugh. “We have a professional reputation to maintain. But I think we’ve had enough work talk, and it’s time to order our meals before we end up drunk in the middle of happy hour."

 

You laugh with your sister, and you realize this is what you’ve needed to distract yourself from constantly thinking about Laura Hollis.

 

Laura Hollis and her doubts.

 

Laura Hollis and her fears.

 

Laura Hollis and her lips.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	17. Obligations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura begins to feel the strain of work.   
> Carmilla is unaware of the impact of her decision.
> 
> Mattie… Ooops!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh.... sorry?

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

Okay, so this week has not gone as planned. 

The Prime Minister’s office has begun issuing press statements accusing your channel of having a 'hidden agenda' in accusing him of embezzlement. It reeks of desperation more than anything, but they’re relentless, and it’s starting to have a serious effect on your audience figures.

 

Working at Channel Three is demanding at the best of times, but these last few days have been complete madness. All your time is spent keeping track of each new release or communication from the PM’s office. Your personal life is suffering, you’ve hardly seen Sloan this week, and your plans to fix your relationship with Carmilla haven’t made any progress.

 

Well, except for those few hours you manage to grab some sleep.

 

On one occasion, you even dreamed that Carmilla was in the clutches of Vordenberg and that her life was in danger; of course, you were the only one who could save her. It certainly wasn’t the happiest dream you've had about her, but the romanticism of the scenario appealed to your exhausted mind.

 

Ever since the party, you've wanted to call Carmilla, but you haven’t the slightest idea of what to say. How do you apologize for leaving her in that room alone, after receiving the best kiss of your life? Because Wow! She certainly knows how to kiss. And those lips. Phew! They’re the softest and sweetest you ever felt.

 

And really what you could say after that?  _ Hey! Hello, I apologize for running out like an idiot. I realized that I probably have stronger feelings for you, and I panicked, but I now know that I want to take a chance on us though I’m still afraid to risk it. But I think you’re worth it, and I would like to try again _ is probably not the best way to start that conversation with Carmilla. This will have to be something sincere, yet also beautiful because she deserves that much. You want to do something romantic, something novel that would take her breath away, something where she couldn’t turn you down. You need to compensate for your stupidity.

 

But you’re barely getting any sleep as it is and the little bit of free time you get at home is spent with your daughter. You don't know if it's all the time you’re spending away from home, but Sloan looks taller than the last time you saw her. Can a girl grow so quickly from one week to the next? 

 

At the moment, you can’t devote any time to plan your next step with Carmilla. So, you put it to the back of your mind and hope that giving Carmilla a few days to digest what happened on your birthday might make things less awkward when you talk to her again.

 

The strange thing is that you miss Carmilla. You miss her presence in your life even if it’s only the constant exchange of messages that cheered you up on your worst days and made you relax in the evening before going to sleep. You don't know at what point a few small words of comfort from Carmilla became the best medicine to relax in the evenings. And although these days you’re barely getting enough sleep, even a brief message now would restore you for a while.

 

You’re drafting the editorial piece for tonight’s bulletin when your boss calls you into the editing room. The reporters and cameramen that have been tailing the Prime Minister in recent weeks have arrived with some new footage.

 

As soon as you enter the room, you notice how happy Sophia is, and you hope that’s a good sign. Maybe they have something incriminating against Vordenberg. But when she plays the footage on the main screen, your heart stops for a minute. You don't know if that is even biologically possible, but it feels like it.

 

The first images show a majestic woman, dressed to the nines and stepping purposefully from a familiar looking car that’s parked outside the finest restaurant in the city. It’s the same woman that embraced you so warmly when you met her for the first time, nearly a month ago.

 

Mattie.

 

The following images are of the Prime Minister in person arriving in his own state car at the same venue. Naturally, he’s accompanied by an entourage of men groomed in elegant black suits, each with an ear piece and they keep the reporters away who’ve been waiting outside. Mattie appeals for calm and issues a brief statement saying that there’s nothing newsworthy happening, merely a private meal between a lawyer and their client. It would seem like the most natural explanation in the world if it weren't for the level of embezzlement the PM is accused of.

 

It sickens you. You don't know how this could be the same woman who wished you good morning and practically blessed the alleged relationship you had with her sister. To find her in the middle of all this commotion was the last thing you expected today.

 

Sophia fast-forwards the film to show Vordenberg taking a seat at the table with Mattie at his side as they have an apparently normal conversation and slows it to normal speed when a third person arrives at the table. The nausea you felt becomes almost overwhelming, and you don’t know if you can contain it much longer.

 

A woman in a black tailored dress, with ivory skin and black locks that have become a regular part of your dreams, appears on the screen. You haven’t the slightest idea why Carmilla is sitting at the same table as her sister and Vordenberg, but you’re certain it’s not for anything good.

 

You can't watch anymore and turn your gaze towards Sophia. Now you understand why she was so eager for you to see this. She’s recognized Carmilla from your party. What you don’t understand is how Carmilla and Mattie are involved with Vordenberg. You’ve known for a while that the Prime Minister had hired the best law firm in the country, headed by the prominent lawyer Lilita Morgan. 

 

Lilita Morgan, who owns nearly half the city. 

 

The owner of the most impressive building in the city, the Morgan building. 

 

The same one that Carmilla brought you to a few weeks ago during your date.

 

You race out of the room and head to your office to rummage through the files on your desk. Finally, you find the one you were looking for, the one containing the investigation into the law firm.

 

It mentions that Lilita Morgan is widowed.

 

But you nearly faint when you read that her husband’s last name was Karnstein. 

 

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

Laura’s continued silence is killing you, and it feels like it’s destroying your life. Okay, maybe you're being overdramatic, but since your date, you'd become accustomed to the continuous beeps on your phone every time you got a message from the blonde.

 

Your phone is still beeping but not for the reason you wanted. Ever since you accepted Mattie’s proposition, your phone hasn’t stopped. The PM’s advisors and the legal team are constantly sending you information and files to get the job done.

 

Ever since that meeting in the restaurant, you haven’t been able to sleep properly. The pressure of fighting the scandal and the confidence that your sister has been placed on your shoulders keep you awake most of the night. You’re feeling so stressed that the first thing you do when you get into bed is to take the cell phone and begin to write a few lines, the same lines you write every night but never send. Eventually, you give up and drop it on the bedside table.

 

But as far as you’re concerned if Laura was half as eager to get in touch with you like the rest of them, then she should be the one to contact you. Perhaps it’s for the best, maybe the blond is telling you that she’s not willing to take the chance. Maybe her fears are larger than her desire to be with you. Apparently, you’re not worth the effort.

 

It’s the last thought that crosses your exhausted mind before you finally fall asleep for the few hours your tight schedule allows.

 

The following morning, you wake up with a headache and constant notification alerts from your phone. Without looking, you reach across and stab blindly at it, trying to make it stop. 

 

You're still not fully awake when you check it and find not only did you forget to close your messaging app, but that you sent a message to Laura in the middle of the night. It was just a simple  _ Hey _ , the same word that both of you use to greet each other. But this time, you managed to type

 

_ 'Heysjaiji' _

 

_ Time sent 04:20 _ .

 

Nice work Karnstein! Could you sink any lower with Laura?

 

You don't know which is worse, the feeling of shame for having sent the message at such an inconvenient time or disappointment that after so many hours there still isn’t a response.

 

You turn and groan into your pillow. Is there a worse way to start the day than to receive confirmation that you mean nothing to Laura?

 

Maybe in some alternate universe, you pissed off some angry deity because the next thing you know is that your phone is ringing again. The name that pops up on screen is 'Theo Straka,' the man in charge of Vordenberg’s election campaign.

 

When you answer, the first thing he tells you to do is turn on the news immediately. Grumpily you do, but when you see what the morning headline is, you freeze. Throughout your advertising career, you're a professional who’s accustomed to being on the other side of the cameras, overseeing the filming and often getting involved in the casting of the models (not always for professional reasons). You’re never in front of them.

 

Realizing you’ve become part of the story hasn’t changed your mind either. You want to erase those headlines that put the worst possible spin on your lunch meeting with Vordenberg and Mattie.

 

_ Sold off to the highest bidder:  _ _ Morgan _ _ & Associates will oversee the Prime Minister’s election campaign _

 

_ Sister Act: the Karnsteins join forces to defend PM _

 

_ Lilita Morgan and her children: The family that protects Vordenberg _

 

It's funny how writers used the most common metaphors for this type of situation, and you can’t really blame them. After working in advertising for so long, you understand why; they’re effective, they work, and you can feel the impact of each headline as you flick through the news channels.

 

Theo ends the call by demanding your attendance in the Prime Minister's press office and to come up with ideas and strategies to counter the headlines.  Finally, you get to shower. By now you don't have time to think about Laura and her lack of communication, you have other obligations and responsibilities that must come first.

 

Before running out of your house, you say goodbye Hayley with a big hug. She asks you a question that you don’t hear, and tell her to ask Will instead. Although her involvement in the case is all consuming, Mattie has been able to arrange your brother’s workload so that he can take care of Hayley in your absence. 

 

To no one’s surprise, SJ has also offered to stay over at your house to look after her.

 

The room for the press conference is still being prepared when you arrive. As the official spokesperson for the PM, Mattie will be issuing a statement and taking questions. After a few minutes, you step out on stage to take stock of the atmosphere in the room.

 

Immediately, your eyes are drawn to a head of honey blond hair, and you realize that Laura is also here.

 

Finally, you might get a chance to talk to her.

  
  


 

 

**Laura**

 

 

 

You’ve been editing this footage for hours, reviewing it frame-by-frame. You want to believe that this is an innocent meeting between sisters that coincidentally occurred while the older sister ate with her client, which just happens to be the Prime Minister and is suspected of using public funds to enrich himself.

 

It has to be. There is no way in which Carmilla would work with someone like this, and you shouldn’t be calling her integrity into question. She would never do something like that.

 

Or would she? Reluctantly, you must admit that you don’t know her as well as you’d like, so you can’t rule out her willing participation in this farce.

 

The urge to throw up has been present ever since you saw that video for the first time and the ensuing conversation with your boss hasn’t made it any easier. As you suspected, Sophia remembered Carmilla from your party and thinks that your existing relationship  will give the channel an edge when reporting on this case . She has given you sole responsibility for covering the prime minister’s election campaign and press briefings, which of course, means even less time at home. Starting that very night, you make arrangements with Perry to take Sloan home with her and to pack enough clothes for a couple of days stay at her house.

 

If the disappointment of seeing Carmilla doesn't kill you, surely the guilt of spending so much time away from your daughter will.

 

The editing room is almost completely empty, except for the night editor and you have worked throughout the night to find the best way of presenting the latest news when a message arrives on your cell phone.

 

At any other time see the nickname that appears on the screen would have made your heart swell, but now it just makes you feel that little bit worse. Carmilla hasn't contacted you for days, not that you have made it easy for her anyway. But you’re already wondering if it’s anything to do with the fact that your working lives have collided so dramatically. 

 

You open the message slowly, and you don't know what to think of it;  _ Heysjaiji _ isn’t exactly the most eloquent message. What does it even mean? You decide not to answer because in truth your brain cannot think of a satisfactory response or at least one that satisfies your curiosity without crossing that line between your work and your personal life. How’s your heart going to cope when you find yourself facing her over the next few weeks?

 

The following morning when the news spread like wildfire you can feel the guilt consuming you. Your boss wants you to find and investigate any links between Lilita Morgan’s law firm and their participation in the Vordenberg’s election campaign. ‘Stir things up a bit, Hollis’ is how Sophia phrases it. You're not inclined to sensationalize the latest developments, but current ratings mean that decision is taken out of your hands.

 

Tidying your hair as best as you can, you call Perry’s number to wish Sloan a good morning. Your daughter is back to her old monosyllabic self with you, and that breaks your heart even more. But duty calls and your next assignment is to attend Vordenberg’s press conference. Maybe you’ll find the answers you need there, even if you're not sure you want to hear them.

 

It’s Mattie who’s leading the press conference, and it’s hard not to admire her performance. She deals with the journalists in attendance quickly and easily, smiling the whole time. Somehow, she manages to make the fact that the entire Karnstein family is working on behalf of Vordenberg seem inconsequential and unworthy of notice. You try to focus on the importance of this conference, of the question being answered or being deflected, but instead, you are looking at the stage trying to catch the eye of the one person you really want to talk to.

 

When your eyes finally meet, the atmosphere seems to grow heavier. Her face has the most business-like facade you've ever seen. It doesn’t have that cheeky smile, her eyes are cold, and those oh-so-expressive eyebrows that drove you mad in the past are rooted in place. She’s serious and fully concentrating on the job in hand. But when she notices you, her expression softens and despite yourself, you’re charmed all over again. 

 

_ You supposed to be working, Laura. Concentrate! _

 

"Laura Hollis, Channel 3 News; Miss Belmonde, what is your response to the accusations about your family and the relationship it has with the Prime Minister, Cornelius Vordenberg?"

 

You can see from the corner of your eye Carmilla stiffening at that question. Mattie for her part keeps smiling, but now there’s no humor in it. If looks could kill, you’d be struck dead on the spot. 

 

"Ah, Miss Hollis, as always straight to the point," Mattie replies, making your fellow journalists laugh. Well, if the look wasn’t enough, she has other ways to make you feel foolish and insecure. But you just shrug your shoulders and try to look nonchalant. 

 

It seems to work.

 

"I will respond briefly to your question, Miss Hollis. If your sister was the best camerawoman in the country, would you not use her talents to benefit your work? It’s the same principle surely, and there’s no law against it."

 

Some of the journalists don’t seem totally happy with that reply, so you decide to fight back.

 

"I don't have the pleasure of having sisters, Miss Belmonde. But if I did, I wouldn’t involve them in such a controversial story."

 

The murmuring grows a little louder at your answer, and for the first time today, Mattie looks annoyed.

 

Nice job, Laura! Irritate the hell out the elder sister of the woman you’re in love with. Don't you want to hit her brother too? Or drive over her mother? Maybe you could finish off by kicking Bagheera to make sure Carmilla completely hates you.

 

"Maybe it's what you lack, Miss Hollis because you’ve obviously never learned what it's like to work in a team. But I suppose it’s too late for your own mother to teach you that."

 

You’re stunned at her coldness, and you want to reply, your mouth opens and closes trying to think of an answer. But you can’t formulate a response because you feel like you’re about to burst into tears any second now. 

 

Carmilla crosses the stage immediately and whispers something to Mattie that causes her to immediately terminate the conference. She looks at you, and you can see that she’s horrified. But you can’t hold her gaze because you can’t bear the fact that she has witnessed your humiliation.

 

The only thing on your mind now is to get out of this room as fast as possible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	18. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla receives a surprise visitor at home.  
> Laura is overloaded with advice.
> 
> Uh... Enjoy?!

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

It seems you must have been someone truly horrible in a past life because there’s no way that all this bad luck you’ve been having lately is coincidental.

 

Day by day or even hour by hour, things were getting worse. First, there were the sensationalist headlines about your meeting with the Prime Minister, the ongoing pain of having to deal with that dimwit Theo Straka and the constant stress your sister is under. Then there’s the non-stop calls from the press to your office phone and your staff requesting an interview with you, no matter how many times they’re told no. But the worst thing to happen to you this week was to witness the despair and anguish of your favorite journalist.

 

_"Maybe it's what you lack, Miss Hollis because you’ve obviously never learned what it's like to work in a team. But I suppose it’s too late for your own mother to teach you that.”_

 

_Your blood boiled as soon as you heard that and you looked at Laura to gauge her reaction. She struggled to maintain her composure at Mattie’s cruel jib._

 

_You never moved so fast in your life. When you reached the podium, you told Mattie to end the press conference immediately. It was almost as if your feet had a life of their own._

 

_Despite the shouting of the journalists who jumped out of their seats and continued to demand answers from your sister, you still saw Laura leaving the room, visibly upset._

 

_"Laura!" you cried, not caring who heard you._

 

_But she didn’t turn or indicate that she had heard you. Laura moved so quickly that you had to run to try and catch up with her. It made you even more aware of just how fit Laura was and reinforced the idea that maybe you should be doing some sort of exercise that doesn’t involve the bedroom. Or maybe you could fix that if you could only catch up to the blonde. But you managed to see her climbing into the transmission van with "Channel 3" on the side._

 

_Should you have left things as they are? It’s clear that Laura didn’t want to talk to you. Perhaps there was too much noise in the press room, but outside you kept calling her name, and she still ignored you._

 

_No, not this time._

 

_But when you grabbed the door handle, you were surrounded by a mob of journalists. Thousands of questions are shouted at you simultaneously, questioning your family’s connection with Vordenberg, the business, the campaign and the diversion of public money. It felt like you were being buried alive until Straka managed to rescue you before you began murdering a few of them._

 

_"Miss Karnstein has no comment to make" you heard him repeatedly say as he escorted you to the PM’s campaign headquarters._

 

_You felt relieved when you arrived back, but the guilt felt just as bad because you couldn't support Laura when she needed it the most._

 

There is some respite until the weekend. But when you’re driving home, that’s when the reality of it all strikes back with a vengeance. You’ve driven about three blocks since you left work, but there are already three vehicles following you. Two of them contain photographers with some of the largest zoom lenses you’ve ever seen. The third is your own escort, a black SUV on which you catch a glimpse of an election poster depicting a large eagle with open wings above three segments of red-white-red while breaking chains that supposedly represent slavery. You laugh bitterly at the thought that never have you felt so trapped by your actions. Although maybe your relationship with Ell came close. Maybe.

 

The convoy follows you up to the gates of your house. All you want is to get into the tub for a few hours and try to put this week out of your mind.  Then you plan to lie in your comfortable bed, ideally for the next few weeks until this election campaign is over.

 

The protective detail assigned to you manages to keep the journalists away as you drive through your gate, hoping to find the peace that you've been searching for throughout the day.

 

When you open the door of your house, you’re greeted by the sight of Hayley and Will dancing around your living room while _Ain't No Mountain High Enough_ blasts from the speakers of your sound system. Both are belting out the chorus as loud as they can.

 

God, you’ve given up on William at this point. You really don't know whether to laugh at their atrocious singing or cry because, in truth, the last thing you expected when you came home was to find a dance party in your living room. And yes, your brother is a die-hard fan of disco. Yuk.

 

But, it’s still kind of touching.

 

The second thing that attracts your attention is a small black-haired girl lying on the couch in your living room. Bagheera relaxes on her stomach, content to have their ears and head stroked. Above all the noise of the music and the laughter, you can still hear purrs of pure happiness. You’ve never been so jealous of a cat. It reminds you of the time when you used to pretend that you had the power to turn into a black panther to scare the bullies that always seemed to pick on your brother when he started school for the first time. Will always found it hard to make friends.

 

The third thing you notice is that behind the kitchen bar, SJ is preparing some refreshments for the four of them while dancing to her own rhythm and smiling to herself.

 

None of them have noticed you so far, and that’s fine by you. You want to enjoy this scene as much as you can. What if this could be your normal life? Imagine coming home to music, laughter, dancing, and happiness. But there’s something missing from this perfect scenario. You may not know exactly what until you see SJ come from the kitchen and leave the drinks on top of the coffee table before embracing your brother from behind to give him a tender kiss on the neck. Will lets go of Hayley and places his arm around her shoulders to pull her close. SJ is really happy with the action and smiles widely without releasing your brother.

 

William looks her directly in the eyes, and you notice how her own seem to shine when he does. He pulls her closer for a kiss, and while it’s soft, tentative and definitely PG13, you decide to cut in before your daughters …. your daughter and Laura’s that is, witness anything inappropriate.

 

The slight creak of the main door is enough to make them spring apart, and honestly, do they really expect you to believe nothing is going on between them? Idiots!

 

SJ runs out to the kitchen, acting as if she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. William is even less subtle in his attempt to pretend everything is normal. Sloan sits up straight when she sees you, causing Bagheera to leap off her lap and run out of the room, protesting. Hayley is apparently the only one unfazed with your appearance. On the contrary, the blond seems to get even more excited after Will let go of her hand and runs across the couch to jump straight into your arms.

 

One day she’s going to give you a heart attack, you’re certain of it. It couldn’t possibly cope with Hayley much longer; she always does what she wants when she wants.  What were you thinking about again? For a moment, she reminds you of some other tiny fast-moving blonde.

 

No, no, no, Carmilla; just for one night, forget about her. Don't even dare to think about work. Put it to the back of your mind.

 

"Mom! I’m so glad to see you! Welcome to our party."

"Good evening, Cupcake! I didn't know that we were having guests," you say with a wicked smile to your brother, hinting that you’re not necessarily referring to Sloan. Hugging your daughter tighter, you realize how much you’ve missed that smell of cookies and sugar. Lately, it always reminds you of ...

 

_Carmilla Karnstein, please! Get a grip!_

 

"Mom! I told you this morning, and you said ‘Whatever. Go check with Uncle Will.’  Laura has been busy with her work and Sloan has had to stay with her friends and her grandfather. Did you know that they sell spray for bears? Why would you need a bear spray? As it is, I wanted to invite Sloan so that she wouldn’t be bored and you said I could ask her some day and that day is today. I just did what you told me, and I asked Uncle Will."

 

"And being the responsible adult that I am, I told her that I was sure that you’d love to have Sloan visit us.’

 

"Responsible adult?" you reply, raising an eyebrow.

"Totally."

"So, what sort of responsible adult allows two little girls to watch _Return of the Living Dead 3D_?" you reply as you point the TV remote at the screen to display the most recent Netflix session. Sloan tries to hold back her laughter as you give her a sneaky wink.

 

"Hey! It was only the first two films, there’s only so much brain chewing that someone can endure in one night."

 

"And by ‘someone’ you mean you Willy-boy?"

 

Your brother blushes at the question, and that’s when you realize that he was the one that ended the session. He’s always been more of a fan of vampire stories anyway. From when he was a child, Blade had always been Will’s favorite comic, and he swore that he’d grow up to be the greatest vampire in the world and leader of the greatest clan. At the same time though, he was always easily scared. You still remember the time that you and Mattie made a recording of a chainsaw and played it for several nights outside his window at night while your parents slept. That ended when William begged his father to sleep in his room one night so that he could hear the sounds of the 'inbred mountain men who wanted to kill him.'

 

It goes without saying that for the next few weeks, you and Mattie had to do all the household chores that were normally assigned to William. To this day, having to do any sort of housekeeping fills you with horror.

 

"It was me, in fact,” says SJ. “This evening I prepared spaghetti bolognese, and I don’t think I could even look at it again after seeing those darn movies.”

 

It makes sense that she is doing it to save William. Her proximity is quite evident; you can almost feel the way she restrains from touching your brother. But if they insist on not making their relationship official, you're not to going to force them. Maybe some other day.

 

Seriously though, could they be any more obvious?

 

"Are you going camping with us?" asks Will.

 

"Camping?"

 

"Steady, Kitty. We’re not going anywhere, we’re all sleeping in the living room. Do you want to join us?"

 

"As tempting that sounds, I think I’ll pass. Too much has happened this week, Will. I just want to relax, and I don’t think my constitution could tolerate sleeping on the floor. I’ll just take a bath and go to bed."

 

For a moment Hayley pouts, but you know she’s aware of how much you need to rest. And as much as you want to join the party, you know that you’ll never get a good night’s rest if you do.

 

This is a chance for you to get some proper sleep. That afternoon, Theo informed you that the new press officer would be arriving next week to work with you on the election campaign. That means more work and less sleep. There might not be enough time to change the mind of the electorate, but you can still ensure that your sister's career isn’t ruined because of it.

 

Still, you’re growing increasingly nervous about you sister’s role in this campaign. A key witness has disappeared, and circumstantial evidence seems to indicate that the defense team was involved. To be honest, the rumors are pretty damning. But you’re certain that Mattie would never dare harm someone just to win this stupid campaign.

 

Reasonably certain, anyway.

 

You excuse yourself by hugging your daughter one last time, but not without noticing Sloan watching you from the corner of her eye. She seems somewhat embarrassed as if she wanted one too. In the last few minutes, you haven’t said anything to her, and it's almost like the first time you saw Sloan, sitting in that corner of the classroom room, hiding her face under her hoodie. It’s possible that her smiling at your teasing of Will was a good sign of how comfortable she feels now with your family, but you can't help but be curious about her progress with Perry. Is she starting to open up more around people or does she still feel as out of place as you did when you visited her home for the first time?

 

That was the day you summoned up the courage to ask Laura for a date. The same date where you shared your tragic back-story and began to feel something for her. The same feelings you wanted to convey with the kiss at her birthday party. Or rather, the kiss she initiated, and you returned as best as you could before she left you on your own.

 

Tonight is not the time to think about that. You need to forget Laura Hollis and all the lies that you hear every time you check the news. The accusations against you, your sister, your family. No, you can't let those thoughts invade now. It is better to leave them aside and rest. Tonight, that’s all you need.

 

You give your daughter one last kiss on the forehead and walk over to the couch where Sloan stares at a spot on the carpet. Bagheera has returned and made himself comfortable on her feet. You don't know when Hayley’s cat and Sloan became so close, but it warms your heart. Bending down, you wish Sloan a good night and pull her gently towards you to hug her too. The only difference is that you tousle her hair affectionately, making Sloan smile shyly. She grips you tightly before wishing you a good night and pleasant dreams.

 

Will and SJ also wish you a good night before you head toward your room.

 

 

  
  
  
**Laura**

 

 

* * *

  

_From:_ [ _swalker@channel3.com_ ](mailto:swalker@canal3.com)

_To:_ [ _lhollis@channel3.com_ ](mailto:lhollis@canal3.com)

 

_Laura:_

 

_I know that we agreed that you had the weekend off to spend it with your daughter, but this is really important._

 

_One of the research team has been able to obtain Vordenberg’s bank records. The figures and balance seem to line up with their declared income. But they have been able to establish a connection with some accounts outside the country linked to the missing money, and you won't believe who the name on those accounts is; Lilita Morgan._

 

_We cannot let this opportunity pass._

 

_In other news, Betty is coming back to the channel. I know you weren’t informed before this but we need a presence similar to yours, and there is no better picture of truthfulness and trust for the public than a new mother.  The board members believe it is better that she handles the regular newscasts. We continue to rely on you to tackle the Karnsteins and their mother. We need the truth to come out._

 

_All of us at Channel 3 place our full trust and faith in you._

 

_Sophia_

 

* * *

 

_From:_ [ truthspeaker@mymail.com ](mailto:truthspeaker@mymail.com)

_To:_ [ _lhollis@channel3.com_ ](mailto:lhollis@canal3.com)

  

_Dear Miss Hollis:_

 

_Our eyes often deceive us. Too often, we only see the side of the story that we wish to see. We accept as truth what our bias wants us to believe, often by denying that there may be other versions of the story that are just as truthful._

 

_Your reality and mine may be similar or different, and yet we would be telling the truth as we perceive it._

 

_I can't say who I am, but I can help you find the truth beyond what your eyes have been willing to see, until now. I come to you because I know you’re willing to follow wherever the facts lead._

 

_Remember, Miss Hollis, the premise of the immutability of truth can lead to unexpected paths. If you are ready to follow me down those these paths, please reply to this email personally and tell no one._

  


_I will contact you as soon as you reply._

  


_Trust yourself, suspect everyone else._

  


_The Truth Speaker_

 

* * *

 

_From:_ [ _easpielsdorf@channel3.com_ ](mailto:easpielsdorf@canal3.com)

_To:_ [ _lhollis@channel3.com_ ](mailto:lhollis@canal3.com)

 

_Laura! Have you heard from Sophia yet? I am so excited to work with you again after so long. I can’t wait to release the news tomorrow. I am sure that we’ll obtain the top spot in the ratings if we do an exclusive on the links between Lilita Morgan and Vordenberg. We can worry about the facts later. I’ve spoken with Sophia, and we believe that it is better to retract it later if necessary, but as things stand, we can’t waste time trying to find more evidence._

 

_Sophia told me that I won’t see you until Monday, so I hope you have a good rest this weekend because next week is going to be mayhem._

  


_Elizabeth Anne S._

 

 

* * *

 

_From:_ [ _summerlawrence@mymail.com_ ](mailto:summerlawrence@mymail.com)

_To:_ [ _lhollis@channel3.com_ ](mailto:lhollis@canal3.com)

 

_Hey, Laur!_

 

_I haven't seen you in days. You haven’t answered any of my calls. I know that you must have a lot going on while the elections are approaching and the possible impeachment of the Prime Minister, but I was wondering if everything in the news reports about Carmilla is true._

 

_Are you still in touch with her?_

 

_Laura, I do not think it is a good idea to have anything to do with a woman whose family is linked to someone who’s involved in embezzlement of public money._

 

_Please contact me as soon as you can. I am very worried about you. If the people got to know of your 'relationship' with her, it could ruin your career. After all the years you have worked to get to where you are, think of what you could lose because of someone you just met. Just be careful and let me know what you plan to do._

 

_Xoxo Danny_

 

* * *

 

_From:_ [ _swalker@channel3.com_ ](mailto:swalker@canal3.com)

_To:_ [ _lhollis@channel3.com_ ](mailto:lhollis@canal3.com)

 

 

_Laura, you're not going to believe this. I just got off the phone with Matt._

 

_Don’t ask me how he got the information; what researchers do with their sources is not my concern._

 

_Theo Straka, the Prime Minister's campaign chief just called Austrian Air to confirm the purchase of a flight ticket from Paris to Vienna that arrives early on Monday morning. Apparently, it’s the new spin doctor for Vordenberg’s campaign; they must be desperate to clean up his image with so little time left._

 

_Do you know it is? Hint: They worked for the French President during the scandal with that blonde who was employed at his house while his wife was recovering from her fourth pregnancy._

  


_Estelle Von Habsburg!_

  


_Sophia_

 

* * *

  
  


Who’s Estelle von Habsburg? You do however recall the infamous scandal; people couldn’t stop talking about the hypocrisy of the French President. He was known as the conservative family values type who established a government with a blatant anti-feminist, homophobic platform.

 

You’re too exhausted to think about it, so you close your email before going to bed. It’s best to take advantage of the first night you can sleep in late. Much as you miss having Sloan around, dark circles around your eyes are the perfect reason to give her permission to sleep at Hayley’s house. Perhaps not the best decision in retrospect if, as Danny says, people learn about the 'relationship' between Carmilla and you. To be honest, there is nothing there other than your daughters are best friends. So, you’ve nothing to worry about?

 

Betty’s back too. Well, that’s good.

 

No, not really. The line of journalism that she pursues has never gelled with yours. She’s more from the yellow press school, chasing scandal after scandal based on rumors that usually end up unproven. God! It’s going to be hard working with her again, but maybe after having a child, she might have grown up a bit and developed a more nuanced view of the world.

 

‘The Truth Speaker? Is this email for real? Should you trust it’s content? Do you see both sides of the story? The spin, the embezzlement and secret accounts holding money on behalf of the Prime Minister in Lilita Morgan’s name. There’s not a shred of evidence to prove that.

 

Then there’s Carmilla who followed you a few days ago to Channel 3’s transmission van, and you dared to think that she wanted to comfort you. Carmilla, who despite witnessing her sister's attack on you at the press conference, hasn’t contacted you since. Okay, neither have you but your life is in a mess, and a 'relationship' with her now would be crazy anyway.

 

How dare she look so good at such an early hour of the morning anyway! Not that you were checking her out or anything at the press conference. Of course you weren’t, you’re a professional.

 

Even after that date and the kiss, she still has an air of mystery about her. Does she know about her mother’s connections to Vordenberg? Does she approve of her sister’s apparent attempts to intimidate witnesses? What about the pilfered funds? Or the PM’s accounts? Is her brother involved too? How are you going to deal with Carmilla?

 

Carmilla who right now is probably sleeping next to your daughters…

 

Your daughter.

 

Sloan and her own daughter Hayley, while you are alone in your bed, missing both.

 

And her too.

 

Your eyelids feel heavier by the second and little by little as they close, your mind holds onto the image of the three of them, making you feel homesick. Tomorrow is another day in which you must deal with the mess your life has become.

 

For tonight at least, you’ll enjoy a few hours of restful sleep.

 

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

Getting by on so little sleep has become a habit with you. Even though you were exhausted going to bed, you’re wide awake again, and it’s still only the middle of the night.

 

The growl that comes from your stomach tells you that hunger is the cause. The alarm on your side table tells you that it’s just after three in the morning. Curse your stomach and its whims of waking up at this hellish hour anyway.

 

You try to make as little noise as possible while passing the living room where a mini Hogwarts made entirely of blankets, sofa cushions and pillows have taken over.

One of Will’s arms is wrapped snugly around SJ’s waist. For a moment, you’re tempted to run back to your room and grab your phone for a quick spot of blackmail the next day. It’s all very heart-warming though, especially with your brother's feet sticking out from under the sheets of the blanket fort the girls made. Obviously, they didn’t take his size into account during its construction.

 

Hayley is sleeping in her usual position, with her right leg bent at the knee while the left extends to one side and her arms are thrown above her head. Seeing this, you realize that your little cupcake is growing faster than you would like. Her barely parted lips indicate that her sleep is restless.

 

And for a moment, you lose the sense of time until a small purr diverts your attention to the kitchen. Sloan is sitting in the window seat with Bagheera curled up on her lap.

 

"Hey, Kiddo."

 

"Hey, Carm."

 

"Can't sleep either?"

 

You whisper just loud enough so as not to wake your brother, SJ, and your daughter in the next room. The breaths of the three resonate almost like a melody.

 

Sloan shook her head slightly while continuing to stroke Bagheera.

 

Of course, your stomach betrays you again, and you look somewhat sheepishly at Sloan who laughs with you. Blushing, you continue into the kitchen to see if there’s anything worth eating. After reviewing the refrigerator contents, you hear Sloan clearing her throat quietly and turn to see she has a pizza box in her hands.

 

"We ordered this earlier today. Pepperoni is your favorite, isn’t it? I remember that we ordered the same thing in my house and I saved a few slices of mine."

 

There’s still three slices of pizza in the box, and your heart turns to mush after witnessing such an affectionate gesture. You stroke her hair in appreciation while taking one of the pieces.

 

“You like cold pizza too?”

 

"It’s my favorite, Kiddo. It tastes a lot better, although people always say that …

"It’s madness?" says Sloan, ending your sentence.

You laugh, trying to not spit out the pizza. People often say that to you when you confess that you enjoy pizza a lot more the next day, rather than having it fresh from the oven. Many times, you fought with your mother as a child because you preferred to let the pizza cool before taking your first bite.

 

"Would you like a slice? It’s cold and delicious, just the way we like it," you ask while winking.

 

Sloan laughs, but shakes her head and picks up Bagheera who’s demanding her attention again. While you eat the rest of the pizza, she tells you that Laura never scolds her for eating cold pizza but has always found it a little odd. You can only imagine Laura’s horror and can’t help smiling at the thought.

 

You’re dying to ask Sloan about her mother, but that’s probably not the best idea at this hour. You’re supposed to put your feelings for Laura aside.

 

Wait, what feelings? Seriously? Cliché alert, abort mission!

 

You're still listening to Sloan’s adorable rambling about something or other when you notice her eyes are slowly closing.

 

"Thanks for the pizza, Sloan. Let's get back to bed."

 

Sloan’s eyes widen suddenly, and she begins biting her lip.

 

"Is everything okay, Kiddo?"

 

Sloan nods, a little too quickly.

 

"Is your first night away from home?"

 

"I usually sleep at Perry and LaFontaine’s or my grandfathers but this time is different. And Ahm… Hayley is a restless sleeper," she replies, blushing slightly.

 

She’s right there. While you sleep like the dead, your daughter is a whirlwind in her sleep. Ever since she was a baby, she never stayed still for long in her crib. She always seemed to wake up in the strangest positions. Over the years, the problem got even worse, and everyone in your family has been the victim of her night terrors. Will was winded once when he slept in her bed after a particularly scary one. Mattie woke one morning with a black eye which took her ages to cover with makeup on the day she was expecting a judge’s decision of one her most important cases. SJ has also been a victim when she moved a sleeping Hayley once to put her into bed. She never seems to remember her dreams.

 

Not even your mother has escaped. One time when William left her at your mothers, your daughter was having a nap and still managed to kick her in the shin.

 

Not forgetting of course, the many, many blows that you’ve received from your daughter. When Hayley has nightmares, she always sleeps with you, and you always seem to end up with a fresh bruise. There are also mornings when you’ve woken up with her feet in your face, or she’s lying across your stomach. Those are preferable to the times you wake up to find she’s wrapped her arms around your neck in a stranglehold or to a mouthful of blonde hair as she lies on top of your chest. These are some of the many strange situations that have greeted you on awakening.

 

"Do you want to sleep in my bed?"

 

"Can I bring Bagheera too?" she asks nervously.

 

Bagheera in your bed? Of course not! That cat isn’t even allowed in your room, and she wants it to sleep in your bed? Will has teased you many times by saying it’s a territorial thing because you’re supposedly like a cat. Hence, the ‘Kitty’ nickname. As if you needed a cat shedding hair all over your bed anyway.

 

But of course, you end up lying on one side of your bed while Sloan sleeps on the other, with a very smug looking Bagheera lying on top of the covers between you. The little brat even looks like he’s smirking at you. Surely, he’s not mocking you? Stupid Cat!

 

You finally begin to drift off when you see Sloan sleeping with a little smile on her lips.

 

If only it were someone else though. Like a certain blonde who’d cuddle up to you while you both fell asleep.

 

 

 

 

 


	19. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura doesn’t know whether to follow her head or her heart.
> 
> But Carmilla knows exactly how she feels about Laura.
> 
> But will she give Carmilla a chance to prove it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for every last chapter's comment. Oh, my g*d guys! You are so kind, I'll never cease to be amazed in the face of your affection for this fic.
> 
> Just for that, here's next chapter and... well, enjoy *Runs away giggling*
> 
>  
> 
> PS. I have no words to thank enough to my dear beta Niall, he's the best beta and person to share this journey I could ever ask for. 
> 
>  
> 
> xoxo
> 
> Mckie

 

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

You have no idea how long have your alarm has been going off, even though you’ve already been awake for the past two hours. The only thing on your mind has been all the emails you read the night before. But five hours seems to have been sufficient for all the pressure you’ve been under for the past few weeks, so another hour or two less probably won’t make any difference. No matter how tired you’ve been lately, sleeping doesn’t seem to help much anyway.

 

It’s even less helpful with the mess your life is in. It is not only your work that constantly keeps you busy mentally; your mind is in turmoil at just how involved Carmilla’s family seems to be in the affairs of the country.

 

You get up with a growl because although your alarm didn’t wake you up, the sound has brought you back to the reality you’ve been avoiding. It’s one that has shown little or no mercy to you lately. Even so, there is a compelling reason why you must get out of bed, and it’s the one thing that never fails to help you face life courageously, no matter what it throws at you. Sloan.

 

Sloan had texted Carmilla’s address to you, and you’re already feeling butterflies at the thoughts of seeing Carmilla again. But it’s only because of what happened yesterday. That’s all, you try to insist to yourself.

 

On impulse, you decide to walk. It’s an icy cold morning, but maybe it’ll help clear your head. Eventually, when you finally arrive at the address, the first thing you notice are some press cars parked outside. The house practically screams luxury; now that you think about it, it makes sense that she would live here. The children of Lilita Morgan must have grown up accustomed to such magnificence. All the Karnstein properties, including the Morgan Building, have been staked out by the press. You remember how small you felt when you were inside and try to put aside the fact that you were on a date with Carmilla at the time.

 

Most of the cars and vans from rival channels are familiar to you because you have covered the same stories on several occasions. The Channel 3 van is also there, probably with Betty and those two cameramen that secretly filmed Carmilla at the restaurant.

But you’re dressed more casually than usual and the hoodie you stole, i.e., borrowed, from Sloan’s room is enough for you to slip by unchallenged. For once, you’re grateful that she loves wearing her hoodies about three sizes too big **.** But that e-mail Danny sent you is still on your mind. Are you willing to risk your job for someone you barely know?

 

At the front, you’re confronted by a large dark oak door that shouts 'I'm more expensive than your whole house.' You're about to knock when a disheveled and sleepy Will opens the door. Although the dark circles under his eyes mimic yours, he still smiles when he sees you, and you almost forget that he’s probably involved in this case too.

 

"Laura! Come in, Come in. I’m sorry I can’t stay as I’ve been called into the office, but you’re very welcome. SJ is preparing breakfast as we speak and the girls are sleeping."

 

When he rushes past you, you step inside and your heart begins to beat a little faster. Again, you try to remind yourself that it’s probably just nerves from being in the eye of the hurricane and not because, for the first time, you’re visiting the woman you’ve fallen…

 

_Laura Hollis, that’s enough!_

 

The first thing you notice is a fort constructed from yellow pillows and white linen sheets that nearly fills one side of the room. It’s almost like the ones that you made with your mother when she was still alive, and you wanted to play the princess. You were always fantasizing that some brave knight that would stand outside the tower to profess their love.

 

The fact that the knight was always a lady was a minor detail.

 

"Oh! Ahm… Hi? Can I help you with something?"

 

"Oh! Yes **…** Good morning. I’m Sloan’s mother. I am sorry to arrive so early, and I didn't mean to scare you. I swear I’m not a thief or assassin, Will let me in before leaving and told me I could…"

 

"Laura?"

 

"Yes. That's me. Laura, Laura Hollis"

"Hi, Laura. I’m SJ," she says with a smile while extending her hand. “You’re very welcome here.”

 

The butterflies, nerves, the nerves increase with each step as you follow SJ inside. Everything about it seems to say _Carmilla_. The walls are decorated in white with a few touches of black here and there. But there are drawings and pictures on the walls that give the whole place a homely feel.

 

There’s one particular photograph that attracts your attention. It’s one of Carmilla holding Hayley in what looks like a small forest, with the sunlight shining on her blonde curls while she laughs in her mother’s arms. Carmilla’s normally pale skin almost looks tan in this picture. There is something else that is what makes your heart skip a beat: she’s smiling and laughing with the same carefree abandon as Hayley. Okay, now you have to accept that it’s butterflies you feel in your stomach. Because it’s the exact same feeling that you had when you first laid eyes on her.

 

Sarah Jane returns to the kitchen because apparently, pancakes burn if you leave them in the frying pan for too long. Well, you’d know this if you've ever had ventured to use something that wasn’t a microwave, but those experiences have always tended to be disastrous. The culinary arts are not exactly your forte.

 

Your eyes continue to roam the room until SJ finally gets your attention and tells you that Sloan is in the bedroom at the end of the hallway on the right. Thanking her, you walk slowly down the hall, grateful that there’s no sign of Carmilla. If Will had an emergency at his mother’s firm, maybe Carmilla had to leave for the same reason.

 

The hall matches the décor of the rest of the house. There are more white walls with framed photos decorating them, and you linger to admire each one. Of course, most of them are of Hayley. One of them has her in her Ravenclaw costume. Another has a younger version of her smiling with a cute gap in her teeth. There’s one of Carmilla sitting on a tree trunk with Hayley on one lap and Bagheera curled up in the other. Beside that picture, there’s a photo of Mattie holding a newborn baby while smiling softly at the camera. There’s also a picture of Will with Hayley on his shoulders as the blond raises her arms in victory. Even SJ makes an appearance in a photo taken beside a lake. Finally, there’s a drawing in crayon of a little girl with blond hair holding the hand of a thin dark-haired woman. Both have a big smile drawn on their faces, and that damn fluttery feeling almost overwhelms you.

 

Everyone seems to be really happy in those moments together. However, Carmilla’s mother doesn’t appear in any of the pictures. It’s hard to believe that these people are the same ones that are apparently covering up the misdeeds of a greedy man.

 

Opposite Carmilla’s door, there’s another room and on that door, is a symbol that you recognize as a ‘Fire’ sigil with Hayley’s name written in blue and silver cursive letters. You smile at it as you open the door of the other bedroom.

 

When you look inside, you feel a pang in your heart; but it’s not an unpleasant one. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

 

In the wide bed, three bodies lie tangled in white sheets, lost to the world of dreams.

 

The first one on the left has its tangled blond curls resting on the chest of the one in the middle, holding her tightly while somehow managing to have their foot out of the bed where it almost reaches the floor.

 

The person on the right is someone that you know very well, but you have never had seen her like this. She’s curled up in the fetal position with her head resting on an arm that is not yours while cuddling Bagheera to her chest.

 

But it’s the third one in the middle that makes your jaw drop to the floor. She’s lying on her back, while your daughter uses her right arm as a pillow. Carmilla’s hand is gently cradling Sloan’s head.

 

Carmilla is dressed in black shorts that match her tank top, and you can’t help noticing how well they fit her. As if you needed one more reason for your poor heart to burst. How can she make you blush this way when she’s only sleeping? And the features of her face don't make it things any easier. Her lips are parted, and she looks completely relaxed. Those same lips that you dared to kiss once and may Voldemort blast you if you’re not tempted to kiss them again. Now.

 

You don't know how long have you been there taking in this domestic yet heartwarming scene, but when you recompose yourself and try to sneakily close the door, a little tentative whisper freezes you.

 

 "Laur?" says Hayley, with a sleepy voice and half-lidded eyes. But that doesn’t last for more than a split second. "Laura!" she cries delightedly as she jumps from the bed and runs to hug you. Somehow you manage to catch the little blonde whirlwind in your arms when she launches herself at you.

 

Carmilla sits up immediately, her eyes still almost closed. She looks so adorably lost that you can’t help but smile. Her bedhead covers part of her face, and her startled awakening also wakes your daughter who looks around her in the same disoriented way. You almost feel sorry for poor Bagheera who races from the room in fright at the sudden hustle and bustle.

 

 "What the frilly hell…" says Carmilla sleepily as she finally opens her eyes and it’s really unfair that she should be so cute when she’s just woken up. And to make it even worse, she starts blushing when she finally lays eyes on you

 

Score one point for Laura Hollis! You've made Carmilla Karnstein blush.

 

“Good morning, sleepyheads," you manage to giggle even though Hayley has a vice-like grip on your torso.

 

Carmilla still seems like a fish out of water as she opens and closes her mouth trying to speak.

 

 "Good morning, Ma," replies Sloan as she yawns. She rubs her eyes and tries to move her bangs out of her face as she gradually wakes up.

 

Carmilla continues staring confusedly at you and by Dumbledore if only you could kiss her to wipe away that confusion.

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

Between dreams, you’re vaguely aware of someone pushing you toward the center of your bed. When you turn, your daughter is snuggling up next to you. As you place your arm around her shoulders, she settles comfortably on your chest. But your other arm is uncomfortable now because you realize that Sloan is lying on top of that. You stroke her hair fondly and return to your dream.

 

It’s not much different from this scene though. The only difference is that someone is missing. A very specific someone that would make this perfect.

 

The next thing you know is that your daughter is shouting. You have no idea why, but over the years you’ve have learned to wake up instantly when you hear her, either because she’s had a nightmare or because she’s up early to spend as much time with you as possible on those days you take a holiday from work. The second is rare but still happens more often than you would prefer. How did you manage to adopt a daughter who’s such a morning person?

 

You’re still only half awake though, but you can see Hayley is hugging someone tightly. Even for her, that’s unusual at this hour.

 

"What the frilly hell…" you mutter.

 

Your brain freezes when you realize who’s holding Hayley. What is Laura Hollis doing standing at your bedroom door? Are you dreaming? You must be because this is too good to be true.

 

Laura wishes all of you a good morning and your brain decides to shut down completely. That’s just typical as soon as Laura looks at you. Your job, market research and hundreds of ad campaigns have just gone walkies along with your usual smooth talk! You can hardly remember your own name. And why the hell are you blushing?

 

You’re barely aware of Sloan’s sleepy voice returning her mother’s greeting.

 

There are so many reasons you’re glad to have SJ around. She loves your daughter almost as if she were her own. She’s taken care of her since she was a baby. After your siblings, Sarah Jane has been like a third aunt to her. Your house is spotless thanks to her attention. And now, you can add one more thing to the list when she calls from the kitchen that breakfast is ready.

 

Hayley leaps from Laura’s grasp and grabs Sloan by the hand to drag her (almost literally) to the kitchen.

 

Actually, scratch that last one. You have nothing to thank SJ for and grumpily consider lowering her salary. Because Laura is still standing there without saying anything and the silence is so heavy that it’s almost suffocating.

 

"Hey," says Laura, a little cautiously.

 

"Hey," you manage to reply. Nice job!

 

"I'm so sorry I disturbed you, but SJ told me that Sloan was in here and I thought that you were out and I decided to come in so I’m sorry for being so rude because if I had known that you were with her I never would have dared to enter without permission and…"

 

"Laura, relax. I understand." You may be glad to see her, but it’s still too early for this.

 

_Four words. Bravo, Karnstein! No wonder you’re the top advertising executive in Austria._

 

Laura is still standing in front of you, and you try to stretch out your body as best as you can. As much as you love the girls, sleeping with them practically on top of you isn’t the best way to get some rest. When you do, you catch Laura starring at you, slack jawed, and her eyes are popping out of her head. When you lower your gaze, you discover that your tank top has ridden up to show off your toned abs.

 

You raise an eyebrow and smile at the thirsty look in Laura’s eyes. This, you can deal with.

 

"Karnstein genetics, Creampuff," you say with a wink as you stroke your stomach.

 

The blond comes to her senses, realizing for the first time that she was devouring you with her eyes and immediately diverts her gaze toward the window. The adorable blush that you love to see on her face is back.

 

"Carm…"

 

"Hey. I know that this is probably a bad time, but I wanted to apologize for Mattie’s behavior the other day.

 

"It’s okay, you really don't have to do that."

You sit on the edge of your bed and pat the space beside you, inviting Laura to take a seat. But when she does, you don't know what else to say. In fact, you hadn’t planned on seeing her so soon and with everything that has happened since her birthday, you’re not sure how to fix this.

 

"Laura, I swear that Mattie didn't know anything. It was an off-the-cuff comment. As soon as I heard it, I had to intervene."

 

Laura only focuses on a spot on your carpet which she seems to find endlessly fascinating

 

"Creampuff, please look at me," you beg. But when she does, her eyes are full of heartbreak, and she still doesn’t say anything.

 

"Laura, I swear that none of that was intentional. I’d never let anyone hurt you that way. Not even my sister."

 

You take her hands between yours and draw them into your lap.

 

"I know that you have no reason to believe me, but please, give me a chance to show you that I’m telling you the truth.”

 

Laura looks you straight in the eye, struggling to hold back tears and it breaks your heart.

 

"Carm, I don't know..."

 

She removes her hands from yours and gets up to leave the room.

 

It’s happening again. Laura Hollis is walking out of your life. Are you going to let her go again? The only woman in years that has made you feel something. The only one that has made you believe that you can be happy with someone. The only one that that warms your heart that way every time you see her smile. The only one that you want to love for the rest of your days.

 

_Whoa! Where did that come from?_

 

_Ah hell, no!_

 

You leap up, brush past Laura to close the door and stand in front of it, arms folded. For once, Laura is speechless.

 

"You're not going to walk out on me again Laura without at least listening to what I have to say to you. On the night of your birthday, you didn't even let me try and ease your doubts about me. That morning, at the conference, you ignored me when I called you. Not today, Laura.”

 

"Carm…"

 

"You want to know if I just want to spend a night with you?"

 

It’s hard to tell if Laura’s silent response is a yes or a no. Perhaps not even she knows. You approach her slowly because you don't want to scare her away.

 

" Yes, I want to spend a night with you."

 

The disappointment on her face almost makes you falter.

 

"I want to spend two nights with you, I want to spend three nights, I would like to spend twenty, I want to spend thousands, forever even. If you’ll have me."

 

Laura looks relieved as she sheds a tear and tries to wipe it away. As for you, you’re powerless to do anything other than step close enough to take her face between your hands and wipe it away with your thumb.

 

"In all my life, I never found someone that was worth fighting for more than you. Even though your adorable rambling drives me crazy, even if you have a bigger sweet tooth than my daughter, and even if I must look at all the Harry Potter movies a thousand times more, I only want to be with you. _"_

 

Laura laughs between your hands, and there it is, the smile that makes it all worthwhile. Although you’ve started to cry too, you’re still grinning like a fool.

 

"Just give me a chance, Laura. Please?"

 

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

 

 

 _"_ I want to spend a night with you."

 

This is when your whole world shatters. Yes, you wanted an answer, but this one is exactly why you left her that night. You didn't want to hear it. You didn’t want to be someone’s one-night stand.

 

Not even hers.

 

"I want to spend two nights with you, I want to spend three nights, I would like to spend twenty, I want to spend thousands, forever even."

 

And you breathe again. There’s no other way to look at Carmilla than with all the adoration you feel for her at that moment. The tears that flow from your eyes are no more than the confirmation of all the feelings that you have kept to yourself for so long. And Carmilla is here, telling you that she feels the same way. That is what she means, right?

 

"… I only want to be with you."

 

Yes! That is what she means, and your heart seems to grow three sizes bigger in your chest from pure happiness. You smile at Carmilla’s assertions, amazed at how she knows you so well. Even what drives her crazy about you is affectionately put because after all, she fully accepts it as part of you.

 

"Just give me a chance, Laura."

 

 _Yes!_ sings your heart.

 

 _Wait!_ warns your spoilsport brain.

 

Who are you supposed to listen to? Sighing inwardly, you look Carmilla straight in the eye. This is important.

 

"I need to know something else before…."

 

"I swear I don’t exercise Creampuff, it’s all good genetics."

 

You giggle because what else can you do when you want to have a serious conversation with Carmilla, and she teases you like this.

 

"Carm!" you scold playfully while slapping her on the arm. Carmilla just laughs, and all you want to do is kiss that stupid grin off her face.

 

"Okay, Buttercup. Shoot _."_

 

"Okaaay, that’s a new one. Uhm… how much you know about the ongoing scandal with Vordenberg? Carm, I cannot give you an honest answer if I don't know if I can trust you. I also want to be with you, and I feel that what you say is true. But you should be aware that our jobs are complicating things. I owe it to my work, and I know that you’re in the same position and love what you do. But I can't start a relationship with you without knowing where you stand on this at least.”

 

Carmilla is normally quite pale, but now she almost looks like a ghost.

 

Your eyes widen when you realize what you’ve just said. Carmilla’s hands drop from your face, and you miss them instantly. What the hell were you thinking of, issuing her an ultimatum like that?

 

"Carm, no, that’s not what I meant! I would love a relationship with you, but it’s probably not what you're asking for, at least not yet. But I really want us to try and see what happens later. And if all goes well, then we will be able to take that step. But I need to know where we are now and oh God, please stop me talking any time now."

 

"Hey, hey, calm down, Creampuff. That's not it. I want to see where this goes too, whatever you want to call it, but I hadn't thought for a moment about our work," she replies as she passes her hands through her hair. Hair that looks as soft and delicate as the finest silk...

 

_Laura! This is serious._

 

"I think we should it consider it first Carm before you decide."

 

"Laura, I need you to understand that I can’t violate my professional ethics. I don't know any more than what they tell me. Bah! I think that you know more than I do. I have nothing to do with the legal case. The law firm is responsible for that. My firms’ involvement is solely with the election campaign.

 

"I understand, but it’s very difficult for me to be in the midst of all this with your sister acting as the Prime Ministers spokesperson, your brother working on the case and now these offshore accounts in the name of your mother."

 

"What?!"

 

Oh, crap! What have you done, Laura? This is the reason why you should not be going out with the daughter of Lilita Morgan. You close your eyes and try to take a deep breath.

 

"Laura, what accounts are you talking about?"

 

"Carm, forget what I said, I shouldn't even have said it. I think I better go.”

"No, no, no. Laura. If my mother is doing something illegal, I'd like to know it."

"Actually, I don't know!" you say in exasperation while holding your head in your hands.

 

"Laura, I need you to know something. I accepted this job because Mattie asked me for help. She’s the one I’m working for. But if my mother is corrupt, I’m not letting her get away with it."

 

You want to believe her, you really do. But your own ethics as a journalist mean you cannot just take her word on this. You must remain firm.

 

"We’ve found some foreign accounts in your mother’s name; accounts that allegedly contain the misappropriated money."

 

So much for being firm. Are you serious now? Will you throw away your career and your work for the love of this woman?

 

Carmilla looks at you in disbelief. Her shock is palpable. How could you have doubted her for even a moment? There is no way that you can’t trust her.

 

"I need to talk to Mattie immediately. If there is one person that knows anything about this, she’s it."

 

"Carm, at this stage, this information is probably all over the news. My boss decided to release it today."

 

She walks over to her bed again and sits down, defeated. You don't know what to do next. You want to comfort her. You want to say that everything is going to be ok, but it would be a complete lie.

 

The silence is only broken when her cell phone rings suddenly. Carmilla looks at the screen for a moment, before signaling at you to keep silent while she puts it on speaker. You nod.

 

"Mattie?"

 

_"Carmilla? We need to talk as soon as possible.”_

 

"Hold it there a minute, Mattie, I want the truth. Did you know about these accounts?"

 

_"Never mind them, we have a bigger problem."_

 

“Seriously, Mattie? What can be worse than that? Never mind, give me a damn time!"

 

_"Carmilla… the new public relations advisor arrives on Monday."_

 

"That's your ‘bigger problem’? We already knew that."

 

_"Carmilla, just listen for a moment!"_

 

"What?!" she sighed impatiently.

 

_"The advisor is Estelle Von Habsburg. Ell Von Habsburg"_

 

Carmilla goes even paler if that were possible. Her expression is one of pure horror. Now it all fits together. Carmilla’s shock, the name from your boss’s email, the new adviser.

 

Ell.

 

Carmilla’s ex-wife.

 

Oh, crap!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, crap indeed! 
> 
> Things aren't going to be easy for these two but let's see if they could make it. They will.
> 
>  
> 
> See you at the violence, I mean, next Friday ;)


	20. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla is full of doubts.
> 
> Laura is simply there for Carmilla.
> 
> Mattie is a good sister.
> 
> Bagheera is just lazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go Creampuffs! Five chapters remain after this one, so get yourselves prepared. 
> 
> Thank you again for all the kudos and kind words to OFL, you are the best.
> 
>  
> 
> Shout outs again to my amazing beta Niall, he's the greatestest (yeah, yeah, sue me!) 
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING: Some feelings, some angst and some kinda fluff ... maybe a lot. 
> 
>  
> 
> xoxo. 
> 
> Mckie

 

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

 

It’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment when the room began to spin. The last thing you member is hearing that name. Even worse, it’s been spoken by your sister. Ell’s the new spin doctor for the Prime Minister. You’re going to have to work with her.

 

You don’t register anything Mattie said after that. All you could do was stare lifelessly at a spot on the carpet. The next thing you’re aware of is a pair of arms embracing you and holding you tight. They’re the only thing that keeps you from collapsing to the floor.

 

Time seems to slow down. You don't remember sitting down, but you find yourself in the arms of someone who rocks you from side to the other as one of their hands strokes your hair and the other traces circular patterns across your back. When you can breathe normally again, you pull back and find yourself lost in the kindest eyes you’ve ever seen. She doesn’t say anything, but you know she’s there for you.

 

"Mattie? I’ll ring you back later."

 

It’s the only thing you’re capable of saying as you hang up because your throat feels drier than the Sahara.

 

"Carm?" 

 

"I'm fine, Laura," you snap.

 

Judging by Laura’s piercing gaze, she doesn’t believe you. You don’t even convince yourself when you repeat you’re fine. There’s part of you that wants to shout that her mere presence already makes you feel better. But there is no time to think about it. You have an appointment on Monday, an appointment you can’t avoid. 

 

No, you're stronger than this. You can show Ell that you have overcome her absence and that you no longer care about her abandoning you and Hayley. The one good thing that came out of your marriage was adopting her, and because of her you also have Laura. Well, she’s become part of your life at least.

 

This is too much information to take in on a Saturday. 

 

Firstly, your mother seems to be involved in the Prime Minister’s shenanigans. There are even accounts in her name. How much of that money has been used lately to buy gifts for you and your siblings? Damn it, how much of that money has been spent on your daughter?

 

Secondly, how long has Mattie known about these accounts? Why did she even get involved when she found out? Does Will know about them too? Are you the only idiot who had no idea about this scam?

 

Finally, the person that almost destroyed your life is back on the scene. How much does she know about the links between Vordenberg and your family? Why has she even returned now? Doesn’t she know that you’re in charge of the publicity for the election campaign? So why did she agree to come on board? 

 

The only you’re certain of is that she will have nothing to do with your daughter. Ell deserted both of you when she was nine months old, and naturally enough, the little blonde doesn’t remember her. Your daughter has always known that you were married once, but she has never shown the slightest interest to find out more.

 

"Carm? Do you want to talk about it?"

 

"No."

 

Your answer comes out a lot colder than you intended. Why are you lashing out at Laura, when she only wants to help you? She bites her lip in concern which is completely distracting, and you can't help but think about how much you want to taste those lips again; just to lose yourself in them and distract you from this nightmare.

 

"What don’t we join the girls and SJ for breakfast? They’ve been in the kitchen for a while, and they’re probably wondering what we’re doing up here,” says Laura. 

 

Laura gives you one of her beautiful smiles, and you know that you’re a complete idiot if you attempt to deny this woman anything. She’s trying to distract you from all the dark thoughts that occupy your mind. So, you either can forget everything else and simply enjoy the company of Laura and the girls, or you can drive yourself mad about something that you can’t even begin to sort out until Monday. That’s time enough to confront the greatest demon of your tragic back story. Also, the very mention of food is enough to start your stomach rumbling and make you think about more immediate concerns. That, and Laura’s smile.

 

She lets go of you to let you stand, and you miss her hug already. You ask her to go on ahead to the kitchen while you change your clothes, but you also need some time to compose yourself before you see Hayley again. Laura nods in understanding, but still checks to make sure you’re okay before she leaves. Her sincerity warms your heart, and you reassure her with a smile that you’re fine.

 

As soon as she’s gone, you pull out your phone again. The only person who can give you some answers is your sister. She answers on the third ring, and for a moment you’re in a panic wondering if you’re ready to receive those same answers.

 

"Carmilla."

 

"Mattie, how long have you known about this?"

 

"Ell? Only since this morning when her arrival was confirmed."

"And what about those accounts in Mother’s name?"

"What accounts, Carmilla? Don't you get it? Someone wants to ruin Vordenberg and is using our family’s name to do so. There are no accounts in the name of our mother, and if there are, there’s no evidence that she knew anything about them."

 

"There’s no evidence? Mattie, that just makes it sound like she’s washing her hands of the problem."

 

"What I mean Carmilla is that we don’t know anything about these so-called accounts. Do you really think that I would risk my career and everything I’ve worked for if I knew that she was up to anything shady with the Prime Minister? Or that I would insist on getting you involved in this? Or Will? Carmilla, we have disagreed on many things, but I would never do anything like that to you, Will or Hayley. For God’s sake, at least trust me that much."

 

"I trust you, Mattie. But I don’t trust Mother or anything else to do with her business. We all know that mother would stop at nothing to achieve her objectives."

 

"Are you still angry that we left you  to practically raise William on your own?  For my part, I 'm sorry, but I also lost a father. I was young, and I didn't know what to do. And I’m not defending Mother, but her husband abandoned her and left her with three children. I think you of all people would know how that feels…"

 

"Mattie, no! Don't you dare compare what happened to Hayley and me with Ell. It’s not remotely the same thing. I was always there for my daughter; I never abandoned her."

 

"And what about SJ or Will? You’ve always had people by your side who love you and your daughter. People who care for them when you can't do it. Mother made the mistake of trying to cope with our father’s desertion by going out with other men. Men who, of course, were only interested in her money. But one thing you can be sure of, Carmilla, is that Mother worked her ass off at the firm when Father signed over his share to her. She did everything she could to give us a good life where we lacked for nothing."

 

"But I lacked the most important thing of all, Mattie. A mother!"

 

There is an awkward silence on the line. You’re almost in tears, and your knuckles have gone white from gripping the phone so hard. Eventually, you hear Mattie sigh

 

"I'm sorry, Carmilla," she says with a catch in her voice.

 

"I'm sorry too, Mattie."

 

"Is it too much if I say that I love you?"

 

"A little. But I love you too."

 

You hear a chuckle from your normally stoic sister. 

 

"We're going to get through this, Carmilla. I promise you that."

 

"Okay, I trust you, Mattie."

 

_ " _ Look _ ,  _ Will and I are in the office trying to find something that will help us track down these alleged accounts. You’ll have to let SJ know that she won’t see her boyfriend this weekend.” 

 

"Gee, thanks. Those two idiots are still trying to pretend they’re not madly in love."

 

"And speaking of madly in love… how are you getting along with your favorite reporter?"

 

Madly in love? No one has mentioned the word 'love' with reference to Laura and to you. You had one official date, and every other occasion you’ve seen her has ended in disaster or pining. You haven’t had the opportunity to properly explore your feelings for Laura beyond your obvious attraction toward her, and you’ve only kissed her once. 

 

But she’s the only one that you’ve opened your heart to lately; there’s no one else you felt comfortable about telling what Ell did to you and your fears about being with someone else. Or your abandonment issues. Only Laura Hollis has made you open up this way. Only her. 

 

Well, you can’t deny any longer that you have deeper feelings for her. Congratulations, you are officially smitten. But at least you can try and deny it a little longer.

 

"Laura and I don't…"

 

"Oh, please, Carmilla! Enjoy your weekend with her and  the kids **.**   I’ll see you in the office first thing on Monday morning, but do us all a favor before then. Sort out things with her before rumors about your love affair become another problem we have to deal with."

 

"Love affair? What rumors? Mattie, how did you know that Laura was here?"

 

"Carmilla, don’t insult my intelligence,” replied Mattie impatiently. “I wasn’t leaving you at the mercy of those journalists camped outside your house without putting a very discreet security team in place.  Also in case you’ve forgotten, Will can’t keep a secret to save his life **.** As soon as he got to the office, he told me that he bumped into Laura when he was leaving and since your security team hasn’t reported anyone else leaving the house, it’s obvious that the little munchkin is still there. 

 

"Mattie…"

 

"Enjoy your weekend, Carmilla. Let Will and I deal with the accounts, and I’ll try and find out more about Ell. Take full advantage of these two days with your girlfriend, sort out what you feel about her and rest as much as you can. Monday is going to be hell as it is.”

 

"Thanks, Mattie"

 

"Whoa! No denial or comment when I called Miss Hollis your girlfriend? There’s no hope for you darling," she laughs

 

She’s already hung up before you can think of a response but damn it, she’s right. There is no hope for you.

 

 

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

 

 

 

When Carmilla finally leaves her room, SJ, the girls and you are sitting in the living room. The pillow fort has half collapsed at this stage, and you’re halfway through viewing  _ Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows  _ for the thirty-first time. Well, obviously thirty times is not enough to see Lord Voldemort get his comeuppance.

 

'He Who Must Not Be Named' reminds you of Carmilla’s former wife and you wonder what her plans are. The only things you know about her are what Carmilla told you, but even so, the fact that she’s joined the Prime Minister’s kitchen cabinet doesn’t inspire much confidence. She’s supposedly one of the best spin doctors there is, but it seems that she’s always worked for politicians that have been caught up in one scandal or another. But in all honesty, if what she did to one of the most admirable people you’ve ever met is any indication, then she’s obviously capable of anything.

 

 "Hey," you whisper as soon as you see her against the doorway. Carmilla only nods her head and gives you a smile that grows larger when your daughter, who is leaning on your shoulder, turns her gaze toward her and waves. You have no idea when Bagheera adopted Sloan, but he hasn’t left her side since breakfast. When you joined them in the kitchen, he was curled up under your daughter’s chair and followed her to the living room, where he promptly settled into her lap. Can you imagine how nice it would be at weekends if all of you were together?

 

But it’s the wrong time. Between the situation with her mother, working on Vordenberg’s campaign and now the imminent arrival of her ex-wife, she’s not really in a position to commit to a relationship, no matter how much you want it. And you want so much to seize this opportunity to be happy together.

 

  "Mommy!" cries Hayley in delight.

 

She jumps up from SJ’s lap and runs to embrace her mother. Carmilla manages to catch her as Hayley launches herself into her arms and wraps her legs around her waist. The blonde-haired girl nuzzles her face into her mother’s neck as Carmilla comes around to sit beside you. Once again, your heart flutters as it always does when Carmilla treats her daughter so tenderly. 

 

It has nothing to do with her sitting next to you with her arm lightly brushing against yours while rocking her daughter on her lap. Nope. Not a damn thing. Or that her mere presence overwhelms your senses. Of course it doesn’t.

 

SJ clears her throat after a few minutes.

 

"Ahm… I think Will needs me to bring him some papers that he left behind this morning. Do you want me to come back later and prepare some food?"

 

At this point, you give up trying to watch the movie. Carmilla’s presence is just too distracting, but luckily, you know the movie backward anyway.

 

"No, SJ. We’re good here. Take the next two days off as we don’t plan on leaving the house all weekend,” replies Carmilla.

 

"I’m not surprised with all those journalists on the prowl. Hey, do you think I’d get a reward if I let them rummage through your trash or dirty laundry?” she says teasingly while peering through the kitchen window.

 

"Probably not as much as I’d get for telling them that you’re in love with my brother,” replies Carmilla with a smirk. 

 

The smile drops from SJ’s face. She opens and closes her mouth, but nothing comes out. You feel you must say something to save the poor girl, but Hayley beats you to it.

 

"Oooooh, SJ and Uncle Will, sitting in a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g!"

To your astonishment, Sloan actually joins in.

"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby…"

These are some of the little things you love about their friendship. Ever since the little whirlwind came into her life, Sloan has become more open and more playful. It’s helped ease your guilt a little at not being there enough for her because you've always felt that the chaos of your job has robbed her of a normal childhood.

 

"Sloan! That’s not nice,” you say while trying to attract your daughter’s attention. As funny as it is to see someone else so embarrassed at being teased, you know what it’s like to feel uncomfortable at being subject to the taunts of others. It doesn’t help that Carmilla is obviously about to explode with laughter.

 

"I'm sorry, SJ," says Sloan, looking a little embarrassed. Fortunately, SJ has taken it gracefully and just waves it off with a smile. 

 

"Well, I gotta go. Are you really sure that you won’t need me, Carmilla? I don’t want to arrive on Monday and find the four of you and a cat dead of starvation and the place like a pigsty."

 

"You’re hilarious. We can survive for a day and a half, SJ."

 

"Uh-huh. Have you forgotten the time I went to London on vacation?"

 

Now Carmilla is the one who blushes furiously. This is just priceless.

 

"That was different! You were gone for a whole week, and Hayley was just a baby. I wasn’t used to feeding her or changing diapers."

 

You can’t help smiling at Carmilla’s outburst; although she looks incredibly cute when she’s blushing, it’s even more so to recognize those little similarities between her and Hayley. As far as you’re concerned, it proves that you don’t have to share DNA to be a family. Love is more powerful than genetics no matter who Hayley’s biological parents were. She’s as much Carmilla’s daughter as if she had given birth to Hayley herself. 

 

God, how you love them.

 

What? No, that is to say, not love. You like to be with them. Love to be with them. You love Hayley for enriching your daughter’s life and consequently your own; but of course, you don’t love Carmilla. How can you love her when you hardly know her? No, love is not the right word. No, no, no, no, no.

 

"Laura, are you okay?"

 

Carmilla’s voice brings you back to your senses, and suddenly you’re aware of four very confused faces that are staring as if you had just escaped out of the pages of a comic strip.

 

"Huh?"

 

"Creampuff, you’ve been shaking your head and twitching for the past few minutes as if someone had asked you to sacrifice your cookies," replies Carmilla with an astonished smile.

 

Of course, you just had to make a fool of yourself again. It’s obviously not enough to ramble out loud, but you have to do it internally as well with your silly ideas of love and let the whole room notice. Damn it, Hollis!

 

“I’m fine! Great! All super! There’s no twitching here. There’s an absence of twitching!"

 

“Clearly,” drawls Carmilla as Hayley gets a fit of the giggles. SJ laughs as she heads to the study while Sloan rolls her eyes and doesn’t even bother to hide her grin. Even Bagheera meows as he looks at you as if to say, ‘Are you for real?’. Obviously, even the cat thinks you’re ridiculous.

 

Well, that’s just great.

 

 

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

 

 

_ "I need to speak to a doctor! It’s urgent!" you shout as you hammer the reception counter in the pediatrician’s office. _

 

_  "Steady on Ms. Karnstein. What seems to be the problem with her?" _

 

_ Dr. Spencer’s nurse tries to calm you down. She’s obviously well used to dealing with panicky mothers. But this is all new to you. It’s been a few weeks since Ell left and it’s just you and Hayley now. _

 

_ "It's Hayley! I did everything that Dr. Spencer told me to last night on the phone, but Hayley hasn’t stopped crying since yesterday. Please, call the doctor!" _

 

_ "Everything is going to be all right, Miss Karnstein. Everything is going to be fine," replies the nurse before taking your daughter in her arms. This is the first time you’ve ever been so scared for Hayley, and it feels as if it’s going to kill you. You have never felt so powerless.  _

 

_ She turns out to be fine. Her baby teeth are starting to come through, and the pain is more than she can bear. How you wish you could take that pain on yourself. _

 

_ It won’t be the last time you feel that way. _

 

_ *** _

 

_ "Kitty! _ _Yo_ _ , Kitty! Hurry up, you have to see this for yourself! Kittttyyyyyyyyyyyy!" cried Will.  _

 

_ For God sake, you only left them alone for two minutes. _

 

_ "What do you want now, dimwit? I swear…? Oh, my God! She’s walking! Will, Hayley is walking!" _

 

_ Your daughter is standing in the middle of the room, making small, clumsy steps toward her uncle. A couple of tears fall from your eyes, and you try to catch them before your brother is aware of it, but your smile couldn’t be bigger. Your little Hayley is growing up.  _

 

_ ***  _

_ “Oh, my God, Mattie! What happened here?" you demand as soon as you enter your daughter's room. The whole room is white, while your sister and Hayley are in the midst of the disaster, completely covered in baby powder. _

 

_ "Carmilla, your little daughter is literally a  _ _little_ _ monster. She wouldn’t stop moving while I was trying to change her diaper. The only way that I could keep her quiet was to give her the bottle of talc. Well, not the best idea that I ever had. Promise me that you’ll never leave me alone with her again." _

 

_ "Mattie, I was only gone for two hours." _

 

_ "Promise me!" _

 

_ "Fine, you big baby, I promise. At least, you changed the diaper." _

 

_ Your daughter wriggled out of your sister’s lap, and you noticed that Mattie has put her diaper on backward. And inside out. _

 

_ At least you weren’t the only one who had no idea how to look after Hayley. It turned out to be a steep learning curve. You shook your head in bemusement. _

 

_ "What?" says Mattie, not having the slightest idea of what was happening. Her distraction was exploited by your daughter who grabbed the talcum powder tin again and squeezed it right into your sister’s face. _

 

_ "AAK! Come here, you little monster!" cried Mattie, before grabbing Hayley and blowing raspberries on her tummy, making her squeal in delight. _

 

_ You loved hearing that sound and never thought you would find such a baby’s laughter so charming, yet there you were grinning like an idiot, and your heart couldn’t have been any fuller.  That’s when you vowed that she would always have a reason to smile like that and that you would move heaven and earth to achieve it. _

 

_ *** _

 

_ It had been one of those days when you felt like beating the clients over their stupid heads with your chair, and you just wanted to spend a few minutes with Hayley before putting her to bed. The energy has been drained from your body. All you needed was that precious time with her, and you’d be fine again. But you forgot about that when you saw her with your brother. _

 

_ "Will, are you giving my daughter a bath or is she giving you one?" _

 

_ She was sitting in her baby bath, giggling, blowing bubbles and splashing water all over your brother while he tried to bathe her. _

 

_ "Shut up, Kitty! This is a lot more difficult than it looks." _

 

_ "And yet I manage to wash her every day, Willy-boy," you smirk.  _

 

_ Okay, maybe you end up just as soaked as he is, but he doesn’t need to know that. _

 

_ "Ah, but you can’t do it the way I do," he replied while styling Hayley’s hair into a mohawk, something that made her squeal in delight. _

 

_ "What is that supposed to be?" _

 

_ "She’s a little rebel, all she needs now is your leather pants and leather jacket." _

 

_ You roll your eyes because seriously? What will he come up with next? _

 

_ "She’s no rebel, Will. I think she’s more of a cupcake girl." _

 

_ Hayley squeals and giggles again. _

 

_ "That’s right, you’re just a little cupcake. A cupcake that just eats up kisses,” you said while picking her up to plant kisses all over her neck to hide your laughter. _

 

_ "Geez, Kitty You're so cheesy," said Will, taunting you. He knows how sappy you get when showing affection for your daughter. _

 

_ "Shut up, you useless excuse for a brother!" you muttered while splashing him with more water. Hayley reacted with delighted laughter, and it’s your favorite way to be welcomed home. Your daughter’s presence alone always makes up for any shitty day at work. _

 

_ *** _

 

_ "Please, Hayley. Say, Mama. Can you say Mama for me?" _

 

_ "Bah Bah." _

 

_ You’d been trying to get Hayley to call you Mama for weeks. It became a matter of pride ever since another mother in the baby shop asked what age she was and if she had started to speak yet. You had read that girls usually begin earlier than boys, but there was no sign of Hayley starting to talk yet. Doctor Spencer had told you that every child developed at their own pace and you didn’t want to put any pressure on her. But you still felt like a bad mother. And when the woman looked condescendingly at Hayley when you said she hadn’t begun speaking yet, you were furious. _

 

_ And maybe it was a little petty when you made what Will calls your pissed off vampire face at her child when she was distracted. He screamed loud enough to put a banshee to shame and ran from the store with his mother racing frantically after him. _

 

_ So, you were trying to get your daughter to eat some broccoli (yuck!) and to say something other than her normal babbling.  _

 

_ Argh! Why is your daughter so stubborn? _

 

_ "No, Cupcake, Ma-Ma." _

 

_ "Bah-Bah." _

 

_"Ugh! Are you trying to drive your mother crazy, Hayley?_ _Who are you trying to drive crazy?”_

 

_ "Ma-Ma?" _

 

_"Right Cupcake!_ _Your mother is already crazy anyway, Mama is all crazy for you" you say with a big smile as you hug her._

 

_ It’s true; your daughter had driven you crazy in the best possible way. You had no idea what awaited after that first 'Mama.’ Although Hayley took a bit longer than most children to talk, she certainly made up for lost time as she got older. You’d never met anyone who can talk as much as she does.  _

 

_ At least, not until you met Laura. _

 

_ *** _

 

_ "Mama? MAMA!" _

 

_ "It’s all right Cupcake, I’m here. You were just having a nightmare." _

 

_  It had taken almost ten minutes before Hayley stopped crying. You woke up to her screaming and as usual ran  _ _ across _ _ the hallway to see what had bothered her this time., Not however before stubbing your little toe of her bedroom door and stepping on several of her Lego bricks. You just about managed to refrain from cursing in front of her. You held her tightly in your arms while you tried to console her. _

 

_ "He was a giant fish and tried to eat me, Mama!" _

 

_ "Cupcake, there are no fish that eat people. Well maybe a few of them…" "Buaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" _

 

_ Okay. Maybe not the best time for that little piece of information. _

 

_ "No, no, no. I didn't mean that. I wanted to say that there is no danger here at home. Besides, I’m always here to protect you." _

 

_ "Always?" says Hayley between sobs while clinging desperately to you. _

 

_ "Always, Cupcake. I will always protect you," you reply while kissing her forehead. _

 

_ You rock and hum to her until she stops crying. And you knew that one way or the other, everything was going to be fine. No giant fish, monster or ex-wife is going to take your daughter away from you. You’ll kill them first rather than let that happen. _

 

_ *** _

 

You only realize how long you’ve been lost in your memories when you notice the end credits appear on the screen. Judging by her heavy breathing, Hayley has fallen asleep in your arms, and you try to get up from the couch to let her sleep more comfortably.

 

"Do you think that we can leave them in your bed?" asks Laura, who has Sloan asleep in her own arms. Bagheera is curled up on Sloan’s belly.

 

"They fell asleep before the battle, but you were so focused on the movie that I didn't want to interrupt you, I always feel the same way, no matter how many times I see the movie, or read the book, I still get just as excited when Harry jumps out of Hagrid’s arms."

 

"I hate to disappoint you, Buttercup, but I wasn’t even looking at the film. I’m sorry to say that I was lost in thought.”

 

"Oh. Okay then.”

 

Laura’s disappointed face makes you feel awful. It reminds you of the time that you once stood on Bagheera’s tail when he was a kitten. How could you not feel bad about something like that? Stupid conscience! Damn it anyway.

 

"What were you thinking about?" says Laura with a sigh.

 

“I tell you what, Cupcake. Let’s put these sleeping beauties in my bed and then we can talk," you say with a reassuring smile. It seems to work because Laura smiles back at you.

 

Once in the bedroom, you tuck Hayley in carefully in case she wakes up. When you return to the living room, Laura is still trying to get up from the couch with Sloan and Bagheera in her arms. You wonder when the cat got the idea that Sloan was his new mattress and when he started to sleep so much. Okay, maybe you’re not such a good example yourself, but even so, he’s such a lazy cat!

 

You take Sloan and Bagheera carefully from Laura. Even though he’s woken up, he’s still nestled in her arms with no intention of leaving them anytime soon. 

 

After placing Sloan on the other side of your bed, you find Laura in the kitchen staring at the drawings, newspaper clippings, and photos that are stuck to the refrigerator door with magnets. In the center, there’s a new drawing that Hayley added a couple of weeks ago. It’s a picture of a blonde-haired woman with hazel eyes holding the hand of a small black-haired girl who is dressed in a black hoodie and carrying a telescope in her hand. Standing beside Laura, almost touching off her, is you holding Hayley’s hand. 

 

It should be noted that when you asked your daughter why you and Laura were in the center of the drawing and not her and Sloan, the little blond replied, 'because you’re our moms, Silly' as if it was the most obvious answer since one plus one is two. And speaking of answers...

 

"Laura, I need your help."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Laura help Carmilla?!? Well, duh! But about what will she ask for help?!
> 
> Also, I love broccoli that yuk noise was just Carmilla thoughts not mine. 
> 
>  
> 
> Aaaaand.... well, this is going to be a wild ride so buckle up, Creampuffs!!! ;) 
> 
>  
> 
> Don't forget to let me know what you think of this chapter and see you next friday!


	21. Wait What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura finally meets Carmilla’s mother to get the truth but unexpectedly meets another ‘family’ member. 
> 
> Carmilla asks for help from an old friend and makes a new one. Maybe.
> 
> Hayley and Sloan are a pair of cookies making cookies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friday is here! OFL is too! 
> 
> So, chapter 21 and 4 more to go. 
> 
> Thanks again for all the kudos and comments. Don't forget let me know what you think about this chapter and help OFL to reach the 300 kudos would you? 
> 
> Also, come and find me at Tumblr as @mckarnstein and say hi or ask anything you want to know about OFL or anything. (I'll google it for you if I don't have the answer) 
> 
> Once again I'm so grateful to my super wonderful beta Niall. He's the one responsible my mess have some sense. 
> 
>  
> 
> xoxo
> 
> Mckie

 

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

 

 

Why did you agree to come here again, Hollis? Especially this place of all places?

 

Okay, you've always loved a challenge, and to tackle any obstacles that present themselves in life. You’re driven to seek the answers that no one else can find. That’s your main motivation in life and why you decided to major in journalism in university.

 

However, years of work as a journalist have given you great satisfaction and disappointment in equal measure.

 

You still can't understand why your bosses insist that every breaking news story lately is framed in the most sensationalist manner. If you’re honest with yourself, you know why but it sickens you that misrepresenting the truth for the sake of audience figures and profit is how they choose to operate these days.

 

There is a very thin line between good journalism and the crap that claims to be good journalism that’s just put out there to make money.

 

You take another look at the expensive looking clock mounted on the office wall. It informs you that you’ve only been here two minutes even though it feels like hours have passed. It certainly didn’t seem that way the last time you were here, but that was probably because of the person you were with.

 

So once again, why did you agree to come here?

 

You know it’s purely a rhetorical question at this point.

 

You’re doing it for  _ her _ .

 

She was the one that asked you for help. You’re only human, so how could you say refuse her? How could you deny that pleading, hopeful look and those dark, soulful eyes that you could drown in?

 

***

_ "Laura, I need your help." _

_ “Of course, Carm. You can ask me anything." _

_ You have never heard her sound so desperate. The words are barely out of her mouth, and you’ve already agreed to help. Only for Carmilla. _

 

_ She looks at you with amazement and a raised eyebrow lets you know you're about to be a victim of another of her teasing comments. _

 

_ "That is to say unless it’s something illegal, such as you having a body hidden in your closet and you want me to help you bury it. In which case, the answer’s no. Oh God, please don’t tell me that you’re hiding a body in your closet." _

 

_ Carmilla smiles despite looking even more perplexed. _

 

_ "Trust me, there is no body in my closet or anywhere else in the house, Creampuff." _

 

_ "Well, good. Great. I didn't want to complicit in a crime even though I really like you…." _

 

_ Holy crapsticks, you did not just say that! _

 

_ Unfortunately, judging by Carmilla’s stunned expression, you did. Your big mouth always lets you down outside of work. It's not that you're ignoring your feelings for Carmilla, but your timing stinks. Her mother has been accused of corruption and runs the risk of going to jail. Not to mention, that Carmilla has just learned that her ex-wife is back on the scene and she’s going to have to work directly with her. _

 

_ "Laura..." _

 

_ "Please pretend I didn’t just say all that." _

 

_ Her disappointment is palpable, and you feel like slapping yourself for sounding so cold towards her. Fortunately for you, Carmilla finally gives you an understanding smile. Which is just as well because it’s unlikely you could explain yourself without putting your foot in your mouth again. _

 

_ "I know that this isn’t the time Creampuff, but perhaps we could talk about it when this is over?" _

 

_ You breathe a little easier. There is still hope if Carmilla speaks of a future. _

 

_ "Soon?" _

 

_ "Soon." _

 

_ Carmilla takes your hands tenderly in hers, and you feel as if a promise is sealed. But you’re not the only one who knows. _

 

_ She knows. _

 

_ After a few moments of gazing into each other's eyes, she clears her throat to speak again. _

 

_ "Laura, I really need your help. I must know how much of this is true. I want you to get to the bottom of this apparent link between my mother and Vordenberg. But not as part of your job, but for me. I'm going to go crazy if I don't find out the truth. I’m afraid, not just for my siblings or me, but also for Hayley. She’s just a child and shouldn’t be dragged into this, but my whole family seems to be caught up in this mess. Laura, I need to protect my daughter from everyone; Ell, Vordenberg, even my mother if necessary.” _

 

_ Poor innocent Hayley is getting pulled into this mess and Carmilla’s right; she doesn’t deserve this. Her well-being is the most important consideration here., Imagine her carefree, happy world being ruined by her grandmother’s ambition, an unscrupulous politician and a woman who should have loved and cared for her.  _

 

_ But you can’t help thinking that maybe it had to be that way, Carmilla is devoted to her daughter, and thanks to her, Hayley’s growing up to be as kind and good as her mother. _

 

_ And in retrospect, you already made this decision when you met her for the first time in the classroom. When Hayley proclaimed herself to be your daughter's friend, you promised yourself that you’d love and cherish her like she does with Sloan. _

 

_ So, by helping Carmilla, you’re keeping your promise to look after Hayley’s well-being. No other decision is possible. You’re doing it for Hayley and Carmilla. _

 

_ "Carmilla, tell me what you want me to do." _

_ *** _

 

The clock continues to tick ominously. What’s taking her so long? It is not that you're excited or nervous to meet her, it’s just something that must be done. You made a promise, and you’re going to keep it. 

 

Why is it so hard to keep your legs still? Have you always been this impatient? 

 

If you’re honest with yourself, you’ve long suspected that it’s one of your most annoying traits. When you were a child, you’d get the book that your father read to you at bedtime and sneakily read ahead to find out what happened next. However, it did make it slightly awkward when you didn’t want him to continue reading  _ The Little Mermaid  _ when he was only halfway through the story; all because you had cried enough already when you’d finished it by yourself. But somehow, that same impatience has given you some bright moments. When it gets too much, you take in the world around you, which usually leads to you questioning things. Then, of course, you have to find the answers. It’s not altogether surprising that you ended up being a journalist. 

 

This is how you noticed that one of the wall panels looks odd. It doesn’t seem to be aligned correctly with the rest. But more importantly, after your last visit here, you realize that it’s not the same panel that Carmilla used when she took you out on the roof that night.

 

Carefully, you rise from your seat and approach the wall for a closer look. There is a very slight gap, less than a few inches, through which you take a cautious peek

 

On the other side, you spot a tall woman with a composed, yet energetic expression. Her forehead is furrowed in concentration, and you could swear that you’ve seen that same gesture before. Her hair is very dark without being black, a complete contrast to her pale skin. Her eyes are olive green at first glance until she blinks and they suddenly appear to be somewhat gray. But confusingly, when she blinks again, they almost appear to be black. She looks to be around fifty years of age, yet when her brow is not furrowed in concentration, her skin looks as smooth as a baby’s. Her lips are a thin straight line that is at odds with the rest of her expression.

 

The woman is sitting behind what looks like a hand carved and imposing mahogany desk. It is a true work of art and possibly more expensive than the tailored blue dress she’s wearing. Behind her is a majestic bookcase full of legal books.

 

There seems to be someone else with her, but you can’t see them. Your position is not the best, and you’re uncertain whether you should be doing this. Then you tell yourself that you’re not here as a journalist, but as a friend of Carmilla. You haven’t done anything wrong. 

 

Nosey and in poor taste maybe, but nothing wrong.

 

You hear the other person speak to the woman, who is currently looking at her desk as if she was trying to set fire to it with her gaze. The other voice is faint and muffled by the wall panels, but judging by the faint sound of their footsteps, they’re moving around. If only you had an invisibility cloak right now!

 

The woman raises her eyes from her desk and looks toward where you imagine the other person is standing.

 

"This was not part of the deal," she says angrily.

 

Deal? What deal?

 

Now the second person is standing much closer to her desk, and you can hear her voice more distinctly. But you still can’t see anything except for a hand resting on the back of a chair in front of the woman’s desk. 

 

It appears to be a woman’s hand with long slim fingers and very fair skin set off by garish red fingernails. One of her fingers bears an extravagant ruby ring that would probably lift the poorest country out of poverty.

 

"Taking her away from me wasn’t part of our deal either," the other woman replies.

"Are you going to tell me now that you loved her?"

"That's something that didn't concern you, and it was not your place to make that decision."

 

The woman smiles humorlessly, and the expression on her face makes a shiver run down your spine. It’s very similar to the smile on someone else’s face, but that smile makes your stomach flutter because it’s accompanied by a fond, warm and somewhat shy gaze. On this face, it’s cold, distant and incredibly calculating which terrifies you a little.

 

"You really haven’t the slightest idea, dear. That was not my decision, that was Carmilla’s.”

 

Carmilla? The sardonic smile of the woman becomes even larger, and finally, the penny drops inside your thick skull. You’re looking at Lilita Morgan.

 

The Morgan law firm is the most prestigious law firm in Austria; everyone knows their reputation. But Lilita has never appeared in any court to argue a case herself and has taken care never to be caught on camera. When she took over the company, her right-hand man was her ex-husband's former best friend, a criminal lawyer known only as Jean Paul.  By the time he died some years later, he had already prepared Mattie to take his place.

 

Carmilla had obviously inherited several of her mannerisms and gestures, such as the way she smiled, but also the way she frowned.

 

"Carmilla would never do anything like that!"

 

"Believe what you want. Divorce for reasons of abandonment and the amendment of the adoption was all Carmilla’s idea. I only followed her instructions."

 

"I don't believe Carmilla asked you for help. I know as well as you do that your daughter hates you."

 

Lilita’s gaze hardens, but you imagine there is a spark of pain in her eyes.  Even so, you wouldn’t be surprised if she took the other woman and made her disappear off the face of the earth for at least a century or two. But this is real life, not some gothic vampire novel and Lilita Morgan is no monster. You hope.

 

She recomposes herself. You’ve seen Carmilla do the very same thing and you chastise yourself for this because you’re supposed to be helping your friend, not taking notes on how much like her mother she is.

 

"Carmilla doesn’t know that because as far as she was concerned, Mattie oversaw everything. It was difficult to change some papers, and I had to ask some people for favors to achieve it, including your father. In return, I had to release him from his obligations to me which meant I lost the people and contacts he had influence over. But my daughter needed my help, and I have never regretted it."

 

"So Carmilla doesn’t know that you were the person responsible for removing me out of her life, my dear mother-in-law?"

 

 

Oh Shit!

 

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

 

 

"Laura is where?!" cries the redhead.

 

"Could you lower your voice? I don't want our daughters knowing about this."

You look sideways at the girls who are in Laferry’s kitchen, as your daughter has decided to name them. You have no idea why Hayley feels so comfortable around strangers, but it has always been that way. Within two seconds of entering Ginger One and Ginger Two’s house, Hayley had hugged them as if she had known them for years.

 

"Excuse me?  _ Our daughters _ ?" says Lafontaine, raising an eyebrow.

 

Damn it, you realize you should be more careful with what comes out of your mouth when Lafontaine’s around. When you knew Ell for just a few weeks, LaFontaine was forever waggling their eyebrows at you when the blonde wasn’t looking. Naturally, you rolled your eyes at their smug smile.

 

How is it possible that they’re still such a teenager after years of marriage and two young children?

 

"You know damn well what I mean, Lafontaine."

 

You look over your shoulder to see Perry is trying to prevent her twins from eating the cookie dough she’s preparing, while Hayley adds what you’re sure is way too much sugar and yellow food coloring every time Perry gets distracted. Which thanks to the twins is every two seconds. 

 

Sloan is simply being Sloan.

 

She has a disgusted expression on her face watching one of the twins stick a ball of dough up their nose while Perry tries to prevent the other one cramming as much of it as possible into their mouth. You smile at their antics.

 

"Yeah, sure I know, Karnstein!"

 

Yeah, there’s that ridiculous waggling movement again, and you really don’t have time for this. Just like you used to do when you were teenagers, you punch them in the arm, and of course, Lafontaine goes ‘Ouch’ and rubs their arm as if they’re mortally wounded.

 

Just like old times.

 

Right on cue, Perry clears her throat. It’s obviously her way of protecting Laf whenever they go too far with someone.   The wannabe mad scientist smiles and blows a kiss in her direction to assure her everything is okay. Yuk! They’re so cheesy and sappy.

 

"Do you think that Laura will get the truth out of your mother?"

 

You shrug your shoulders as if to imply that you expect nothing less from Laura.

 

"Don't get me wrong, Laura is incredibly focused when she’s trying to get to the bottom of something. She won’t stop until she gets answers. You can trust her with your life."

 

LaFontaine looks over your shoulders into the kitchen and then beckons you to come closer.

 

"By the way, Perry still doesn’t know the Lustig ‘incident’ during our time in Silas was my fault."

 

"So, you were the one that set off the explosion and filled the streets with cappuccino foam?”

 

"Shhhhh!" replied Lafontaine nervously, trying to put their hands over your mouth. But Perry doesn’t appear to have heard anything and carries on kneading the cookie dough.

 

"Oops? So sorry,” you reply. 

 

Of course, you’re not remotely sorry because they deserved that for bothering you about Laura. You wouldn’t mind their teasing if it were true, but you’re still a little nervous after your last conversation.

 

 

***

_ "Do you think you’ll ever forgive her?" asked Laura, trying to sound casual. But she bit her lip nervously while pretending to be interested in the contents of the bookshelf in your home office. _

 

_ It wasn’t really the time for that question, so you pretended you didn’t hear her. _

 

_ "Huh?" you replied while pretending to be absorbed in accessing all your financial records. Laura believed that it was a good idea to clarify any monetary links with your mother, especially when it came to those mystery accounts in her name. _

 

_ You wanted to believe that your mother wouldn’t do anything so venal. But while it’s one thing having issues with her neglect of you after your father left, it’s another thing to suspect her of illegal or corrupt behavior. She may have been severely lacking as a mother, but if there’s one thing you grudgingly respect her for, it’s her legal expertise and commitment to her work. You and Mattie inherited that work ethic and applied it to your respective careers. _

 

_ But you’re also aware that your mother was capable of anything if meant achieving her goals. And that scared you. _

 

_ "Carm?" _

 

_ Laura’s sweet voice brought you back from your brooding. _

 

_ "What if it wasn’t just work? What if she wanted to try again? Would you forgive her?" _

 

_ You looked Laura straight in the eye for the first time since you entered your office. _

 

_ "No. Never," you reply. The very thought of ruining whatever chance you had with Laura by giving Ell another chance made you feel nauseous, and you looked down toward your lap. _

 

_ Laura approached the side of your desk and pulled your chair around so that you were facing her.  _

 

_ "It's okay if that's what you want,” she said, taking your hands in hers. “You don't have to hate her because she hurt you. You are a better person than that. I think if you even wanted to wish her nothing but trouble, it would be for a good reason. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes.” _

 

_ Laura was kneeling in front of you, but you still didn’t raise your head. She obviously wanted to hug you and give you some comfort. It was stupid how vulnerable this woman made you feel, but because it’s Laura, you welcome this feeling. Ever since that night on the roof, Laura was the only person that you felt safe with, that you could let in and see what a mess you really were and not pity you or take advantage of you for it. _

 

_ "Carm, you know that I’ll support whatever decision you take, right?”  _

 

_ God! What did you do to deserve to have Laura Hollis in your life? Whatever it was, it was the best thing that you ever did. _

 

_ "I would just like to know why," you replied, sadly. _

 

_ "Carm, I think I understand. I know it’s not the same thing, but sometimes I would like to go back to see my mother for a few minutes and ask the same thing. Why did you have to go? Sometimes it can be good to get closure, and if you think talking to her about it is the best thing to do, then I’ll be here for you if you need me." _

 

_ Damn it, it should be illegal to be so adorable! _

 

_ "Thank you, Creampuff." _

 

_ "Ah, I see we’re back to the edible nicknames. Well. That means that I’ve either cheered you up a bit or Hayley and I have finally convinced you to eat something sweet.” _

 

_ "Oh! I’m definitely want to eat something sweet right now, but I'm not talking about food," you said with a smirk that you knew would make Laura blush redder than a tomato. And right on cue, she did. _

 

_ Fifty points for Karnstein! _

 

_ But despite her blushing, it was Laura that made the first move. She pulls your chair closer and obviously you weren’t going to pass up the chance of kissing those lips again. _

 

_ So, you did. Once, twice, and three times until your foreheads rested together and both of you tried to catch your breath. You smiled blissfully because what else could you do once you had tasted those lips again. _

 

_ "Cupcake, I thought that we promised that we ‘d speak about this once all of this was over." _

 

_ "I never said that I had to like it,'" replied Laura trying to sound stern even though she was still smiling and continued to hold you close. _

 

_ "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Cutie." _

 

_ Laura shook her head fondly at how ridiculous you were. But after a few seconds, the smile dropped from her face, and you could see that something was bothering her. _

 

_ "Come on, Buttercup, spit it out. I can see the smoke coming out of your ears." _

 

_ Laura withdrew slightly and loosened her grip on your hands. Even so, she still didn’t let go, and her fingers continued stroking yours. To drive you mad once more, she began biting her bottom lip again. It seemed to you that even Laura found her own lips so tempting that she couldn’t resist them. _

 

_ "Do you still feel anything for Ell?" _

 

_ You got off your chair to kneel at Laura’s level and look her straight in the eye. This was important. This was a life changing moment. You needed to tell her this now. _

 

_ "Laura, I…" _

 

_ "Mamaaaaaaaaaaa!" _

 

_ Damn it! _

_ *** _

 

 

"Whoa, Karnstein! Could you at least stop drooling while you daydream about Laura?"

 

Of course, you had to have your lovesick expression on while thinking about Laura. And of course, it had to be in front of LaFontaine. But you glare at them, warning them not to push you, and that seems to be enough for the redhead to raise their hands in surrender. For the moment, anyway.

 

"What I was going to say is that I trust Laura, really I do. And I trust you will fight for her, but I remember your mother too. I don’t think it’s going to be that straightforward to get her to reveal everything simply because Laura is sleeping with her daughter."

 

"What?! Laura and I haven’t… she and I don't…" 

 

"Shush. I know."

 

"Has Laura been talking about this?" you whisper while looking over your shoulder to the kitchen see where your daughters are. YOUR daughter and Sloan seem to have overheard some of the conversation, and they’re trying a little too hard to pretend they’re not listening.

 

"Of course not, but Laura Hollis is an open book. When she slept with Danny for the first time, she kept humming "Love Story" by Taylor Swift the following day, and I thought it was the happiest I’d ever seen her. But since she met you, I have never seen her look so well.”

 

"Oh yeah, I’d forgotten Laura and the giant redwood were girlfriends,” you reply while pretending to be interested in your nails.

 

Of course, it doesn't bother you to think about Laura being with another woman.

 

The fact that Clifford had that honor when you haven’t even come close doesn’t remotely concern you. It’s not as if you're seething with jealousy at the thought. No, definitely not.

 

So why is it breaking your heart that Laura isn’t yours? Not as your property, but yours to worship or not, to annoy or not, to love or not.

 

Wait! What?

 

No, no, no. Love? Get a grip of yourself, Karnstein. Nobody’s saying anything about love.

 

"That was ages ago. They discovered that they weren’t right for each other, but they never lost their friendship. So, no need for the jealous face, Kitty."

 

"Oh, my God! You remember that stupid nickname Will gave me?"

 

"How could I forget? Will said that outside you're like a panther, territorial, protective and imposing, but inside you are nothing more than a soft kitten."

 

"You two were such dimwits. I remember the times we used to spend in the attic of your house. I loved that place, it was our refuge from the world."

 

You smile at the memory young LaFontaine, Will and Carmilla whose only concern was how they’d spend their time having fun away from their family problems and eager to take on the world. How stupid they were. How easy it was at that age to avoid reality. If only it were as easy now, but you have obligations and responsibilities that you can’t avoid.

 

"You must have had a very boring, safe life these last few years when I wasn’t around," says Lafontaine, jokingly. 

 

It’s not far from the truth. Not only did you miss Laf’s buffoonery and good humor, but also their friendship. It’s only now that you realize how much you missed Lafontaine.

  
  


"I survived. And believe me, I had more than enough idiocy in my life with my brother without you hanging around too."

 

Well, just because you've missed them all these years doesn’t mean that you are going to give some honeyed speech on valuing their friendship and commit to making up for lost time. Never! You still have some pride.

 

"I'm also delighted to see you again, Karnstein. I still don't understand how I can help you, but whatever it is, you can count on me."

 

They know you so well that they see right through your insult. But the smile falls from Laf’s face when their cell phone begins to ring. They frown while looking at the screen and seem a little uncertain as to whether they should answer or not. You notice the sudden stiffness of their posture, so you decide to give Laf some space and leave the room.

 

Walking toward the kitchen island, you notice your daughter is still making cookies with Perry. 

 

"Mammy!” cries your daughter with delight as she continues mixing ingredients.

 

"I think you have had enough sugar for one day, Hayley."

"Aaaw!" she answers with a pout and puppy dog eyes. It’s really not fair that she knows exactly how to make you feel guilty and get you to agree to whatever she wants.

 

"Oh! Don't worry Miss Karnstein, this sugar is natural and completely organic. I never give refined sugar to my children."

 

When Perry notices your blank look, she tries again.

 

"She’s just excited, but it has nothing to do with the sugar she’s consumed. Before I had my children, I had to experiment with dozens of substitutes before finding this one that’s a lot healthier than standard sugar, but it’s still just as sweet. Laura was my guinea pig.”

 

Imagining Laura’s happiness at trying out so many cookies before finding the right ingredient is enough to make you smile.

 

"Just call me Carmilla, Perry. I feel like my mother when you call me by my last name."

 

Perry smiles warmly, and you feel like you could probably get used to spending more time with the gingers.

 

"Sloan, are you not making cookies too?"

 

"There is no black food coloring. Aunt Perry only uses natural food colorings." 

Of course, how could you not have noticed before?

"But, she’s going to help us test our cookies!" yells Darwin (Seriously, Laf?) from the other side of the table. 

 

"Sorry, I'm not going to test anything. Ask my mom, she’s the guinea pig," replied Sloan with a laugh.  

 

You really love this girl. She reminds you of yourself when you were her age.

 

"Oh, shush! Open your mouth and try my Hufflepuff Star cookie,'" replies Hayley eagerly.

 

Sloan closes her mouth tightly, but this doesn’t deter Hayley who launches a ferocious tickle attack on your daughter. Sloan goes red in the face from laughter and trying to fight off your daughter, but she doesn’t give in. So, Hayley changes tack and does what she’s best at.

 

"Try it for me, Sloan? Pretty please?

 

Ugh! Of course, Sloan can’t resist her when she pouts like that. She sighs before opening her mouth to try Hayley’s cookie.

 

For a moment, you think Sloan is about to vomit after the first few bites, then you notice how she forces it down before giving her opinion.

 

"Yeah, not too bad, I suppose. I’ve had worse."

 

Hayley beams and hugs her fiercely, almost making Sloan fall off her chair. Sloan manages to hang on, but she smiles at your daughter. She can’t help blushing, and you’re ready to make fun of her when LaFontaine comes rushing into the kitchen.

 

"Karnstein, we have to go. Now. You need my help? Well, I need yours too."

 

Great, now what?

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

 

 

"I think the jetlag is making you stupid, Ell. Luckily, I stopped being your mother-in-law years ago."

 

"It would be interesting to see how your daughter reacts when she finds out who was responsible for my departure."

 

"Don't you dare," replies Lilita, her voice cracking a little. She’s an imposing woman, but you can’t help feeling sorry for her right now. 

 

"I thought it was clear why I came back to Austria, Lilita. I am not interested in anything other than doing my job, but if it means I must go back to Carmilla to do it, then I will. Even if I have to get close to the child."

 

You can see Lilita’s shoulders tighten even more.  Immediately, she slams both of her fists on the desk as he rises with such a menacing glare that it would probably terrify a god.

 

"You stay away from them!"

 

But it isn’t her that issues the threat.

 

The two women are stunned at the sudden interruption of a small blonde-haired woman barging into the room and pointing her index finger at Ell. 

 

Of course, the blond in question is you, Laura Hollis.

 

But it’s Lilita Morgan who regains her composure first.

 

"Miss Hollis, is it? I thought I told my daughter Matska to deal with you.”

 

"Yes, well, Mattie..."

 

You can see the change in the countenance of both women when you speak about Mattie in such a familiar manner.

  
  
  


***

_ "I 'm sorry, Miss Hollis. Ms. Morgan is busy for the day, but she did say that her daughter will see you in a few minutes.” _

 

_ Sighing, you thanked Lilita’s P.A. before taking a seat in the reception area. You are not taking no for an answer and if you have to go through Mattie first, then so be it. For a moment, you even eyed the air conditioning vent and wondered could you squeeze through it to reach Lilita Morgan’s office. But your musing was interrupted when you caught sight of Mattie standing in the doorway wearing an elegant red dress with black accents and tapping her foot impatiently.  Her expression was annoyed and far from welcoming.  _

 

_ "Well, Miss Hollis, you have two minutes to tell me why I’m honored with your presence today," she said while holding the door of her office open for you. _

 

_ The room was like the one that you were in on your date with Carmilla. This one though had a lot of gothic decorative details that made it look like a medieval castle from the movies. Yet the modern design of the building was still apparent. It confirmed to your mind that Mattie had incredibly sophisticated taste. _

 

_ She pulled out the chair for you in front of her desk while she sat down with her back facing the window. In addition to one wall full of bookshelves, a love of which obviously runs in the family, you notice her framed degree which stated that she graduated with honors from Harvard Law School. _

 

_ That at least makes helps you understand the breakdown in the relationship that occurred between Carmilla and her when Mattie went to study so far away from Austria. Briefly, you wondered why if Mattie was so far away, that Carmilla didn’t take the same opportunity to choose any university in the world as money obviously wasn’t a problem. You suspected that it was probably because of her relationship with Ell and her love for Will. He would have only been in high school when she went to university, and she probably didn’t want to abandon him. How you love that woman for how caring and protective she is even though she affects an apathetic, uncaring attitude at times. _

 

_ Wait. What? _

 

_ Love? Again, with that word ‘love’ again when you refer to Carmilla?  _

_ "Miss Hollis, first of all, please accept my apologies." _

_ You were so lost in your own head that you completely forgot about Mattie. You focused on her and decided to deal with your feelings for her sister some other time.  _

 

_ "Um, why?" _

 

_ "The last time we saw each other. I didn't know about your mother, and it was wrong of me to speak about her and you that way." _

 

_ "Don't worry, Mattie... Matska... uhm, Miss Belmonde?" _

 

_ Mattie rolled her eyes exactly like her sister, and you realized that although they’re so different in appearance, there is no doubt that this family has two things in common. Their stupid confident smile and the roll of eyes that screams sarcasm. Although it is incredibly adorable as long as it’s Carmilla doing it. _

 

_ "You can call me Mattie, Miss Hollis." _

 

_ Your first instinct was to roll your eyes too. Spending time with this family is starting to rub off on you. _

 

_ "Cool beans. Then you can call me Laura." _

 

_ "Now, I would love to sit and talk and share stories of the love that we have for my sister, but I’m sure that’s not why you’re here.” _

 

_ You knew that your cheeks were as crimson as the surface of Mars at the mention of 'love.’  _

 

_ "Well?" asked Mattie, impatiently. _

 

_ "Sorry, I was a little distracted!’ you reply sheepishly. ‘Mattie, I need to speak with your mother." _

 

_ Mattie takes a deep breath. Something else she shares with her siblings when she’s taken by surprise. _

 

_ "If this is about the accounts, Mother is not giving any interviews, Laura. This afternoon we’ve called a press conference where we will be issuing an official response, and then I will take questions." _

 

_ "No Mattie, it’s not about that. Well actually it is, but as far as I’m concerned, the ‘official’ response isn’t going to cut it. Your mother hasn’t just been accused of a mere felony, but a very serious crime. If you know she’s innocent, then you must help me. All I want is the truth and hear her side of the story if she’s genuinely not involved in embezzling taxpayer’s money. But if she is, then she has to face justice...  look, it doesn't matter! Tell me, do you think that your mother would do such a thing?" _

 

_ "I don't know!" replied Mattie, losing her composure and running her hands through her hair in frustration. _

 

_ "Give me ten minutes with her, Mattie. Give her a chance to defend herself. I promise you that nothing of what we speak will be released to the press except the truth." _

 

_ "And what if it’s true about the accounts, Laura?" she asked, concern etched on her face. _

 

_  If it’s true, your career would really take off when you get that exclusive, but could you do that? Would you openly accuse Lilita Morgan? Would you take responsibility for Carmilla’s mother ending up in jail? _

 

_ You couldn’t even look at Mattie anymore because the hope was slowly dying in her eyes. _

 

_ "All that I ask, Laura, is that if it’s true, that you tell Carmilla and me before releasing it to the media. I'm not asking you not as a lawyer, I ask you as a sister. Carmilla will never forgive me for getting her involved in this, and I’ll have to deal with any problems that Mother’s actions have caused. When Carmilla needs me, I don’t hesitate for a second.” _

 

_ That was the first time you heard Mattie speak without a trace of sarcasm and condescension and you were touched by her sincerity. It was incredible how the sisters had each other’s backs. _

 

_ But you also thought about Will and his sacrifices to help his sister, when he was under no obligation to do so. How many cases did he lose or turn down because he had to take care of Hayley? How many children’s songs and games did he learn to entertain her? How much love for his sister and niece did that prove? _

 

_ The thought brought a lump to your throat, and you were helpless to prevent a stray tear rolling down your cheek.  For a moment, you thought Mattie had tears in her eyes too, but maybe you imagined it. Either way, the moment was getting too heavy for you. You were here to help Hayley and Carmilla, and if that meant helping her sister too, then you were ready to shoulder that burden too. _

 

_ "You have my word, Mattie," you eventually replied as you reached across and squeezed her hand reassuringly. _

_ *** _

 

 

"Don't bother answering Miss Hollis, I’ll deal with my daughter later. For now, I must ask you to leave my office. As I’m sure you were already told, I'm very busy, and I’ve no time to deal with intrusive journalists who have no idea what they’re dealing with.”

 

Her disapproving glare reminds you of all the times you had to attend the Dean’s office in university for ‘talking out of turn.' 

 

"Wait, you’re ‘Miss Hollis’? The Laura Hollis?" said Ell, speaking for the first time since your dramatic entrance.

 

This is the first time you turn to see the blond and Woah! Carmilla is beautiful, no doubt about it and she’s also incredibly intelligent and extremely sexy (and a giant dork which only adds to her allure). But Ell looks like she walked straight off a fashion shoot, like those other women who greeted Carmilla in the restaurant, only multiplied by a thousand. Of course, she can’t compare to Carmilla. If Carmilla is a Greek goddess come to life, Ell’s beauty is more like a sculpture lovingly carved by those same gods. Perfect, unblemished skin, delicate features, thick wavy blonde hair, and a figure hugging white dress complete the package.

 

"Uhm... Yes? Of course, yes. Laura Hollis, that’s my name? Yeah, that’s me."

 

You notice the curiosity in the face of Lilita after the blonde’s sudden interest in you.

 

"The journalist?"

 

"Uh-huh."

 

You don't like where this is going?  Why is Carmilla’s ex-wife suddenly so interested in you? 

 

"Excuse me, but how exactly do you know Miss Hollis?" demands Lilita.

 

"I’m more curious as to why you haven’t the slightest idea of what’s going on in your daughter’s life, my dear moth... Lilita."

 

The lawyer looks you straight in the eye, and you can almost see the gears in her head working while her fists are clenched at Ell’s comment.

 

You don't want to say anything because in these sorts of situations it gets you into very sticky situations.

 

The silence obviously annoys Ell.

 

"Miss Hollis is your daughters latest fling, Lilita. She found a new toy to play with."

 

Lilita’s eyes widen, and you wish the ground would open and swallow you.

 

"Wait. You’re... _ that  _ Laura?" she asks in wonderment, and her gaze softens when she looks at you.

 

What the hell is going on now?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, that sweet tiny ball of protectiveness that Laura Hollis is. I'm afraid for Ell's life don't you?
> 
> For those who went crazy about Mattie comment at the press conference, well, here's her expiation. 
> 
> Let me hear your thoughts about Ell, though I maybe have an idea. 
> 
> Holly Huffepluff! what's was all that mess about Lilita ?! :O 
> 
>  
> 
> And again, you're the best Creampuffs! 
> 
> Till next friday ;)!


	22. Other truths.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla has a reunion with another old friend.
> 
> Laf drops some truth on Carmilla.
> 
> Laura finally meets Lilita... officially.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Puff! Chapter 22. 
> 
> A lot of plot. Not so much Hollstein but... hey! wait and see, just wait and see. 
> 
> Also, 3 more chapters and we're done. 
> 
> Don't forget to let me know what you think and all your crazy theories :D
> 
>  
> 
> As always, Niall is a real angel for taking such care in reading and fix this for all of us on my behalf. Best. beta. ever!
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway... enjoy... I think... 
> 
>  
> 
> xoxo
> 
>  
> 
> Mckie

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

Laf has been driving for more than an hour and still hasn’t spoken since they said goodbye to your girls.

You can’t deny this any longer because you love Sloan as if she was your own. In the short time that you’ve known her, you’ve developed a real affection for her. Her shyness and that nostalgic feeling you get when you look at her have warmed your heart, and although you’d rather stake yourself than admit it out loud, you sincerely believe that girl won you ever when you first met her with Hayley.

Meanwhile, Laf still drives with locked arms and tensed shoulders. They’re heading out of the city, but you honestly don't want to ask why because they’ll probably get distracted and grumpy, not to mention dump you on the side of the road. They’re usually good at multi-tasking, and sometimes they never shut up while working on two or three things at once. But judging by their silence, this wasn’t one of those times.

You can’t help wondering why they need your help now when you’ve literally just rekindled your friendship though.

Eventually, they stop at a sketchy gas station just off the highway that leads out of town and without thinking twice, they switch off the ignition, leap out of the car and rush toward the store. You hesitate for a few seconds before you decide to follow them. A place like this isn’t safe for anyone on their own no matter how badass the mad scientist thinks they are.

So, you loosen your safety belt and get out of their car to follow them. When you enter the store, the middle-aged cashier smiles weirdly at you and you decide to stay close to the door as you can see Laf at the back standing in front of the coolers.

Laf grabs as much stuff as they could fit in their hands and kicks the glass doors to close them again. They drop them in front of the cashier before heading to another aisle. This happens at least four times, and the cashier begins to scan the items one by one. He doesn’t seem to be in the least surprised at what’s going on.

You don't know if Laf has lost their mind, or if they intend to feed a whole village. 

By the time Laf has finished, most of the items have already been packed into a crate. They take out their bank card as the cashier places several cartons of cigarettes and cigars on top. Laf paid in full, and the man smiles at them. Now that you’re no longer so agitated, you realize that he’s missing a lot of teeth and that’s why his smile was so odd looking. 

You can't blame yourself for thinking badly of him if your friend didn’t tell you what the hell they were doing here. Laf for their part thanks ‘Lenny’ in a rushed but friendly manner, which confirms it wasn’t their first time here. The cashier even offered to help with the heavy box. He doesn’t look weak, but he looks about seventy years of age, and he can barely lift the crate to pass it to Laf.

Laf gives Lenny a friendly squeeze on the shoulder, takes the crate and hurries past you to the car. You have to rush to catch up in case they leave you behind. When you get into the car, they’re lost in thought, resting their hands on the steering wheel. You don't know what to do, but you’ve had more than enough of this behavior. 

"Laf, if you have another wife and children, you might as well tell me now."

Of course, you wouldn’t be Carmilla Karnstein if you didn’t attempt to break the tension with your customary sarcasm.

Laf releases the breath they were holding and begins to laugh.

"You know Karnstein, I really have missed all that," they reply without looking at you. But their shoulders began to relax a little.

"Ugh. Please don't tell me that you didn’t know how much you loved me until my return and that we’re eloping to start a new life together. That’s what all the food is for isn’t it?”

"What?! As if I’d leave Perry for you."

"Hey! Many women would kill to have an opportunity like this with me. In the middle of nowhere, defenseless, alone in a strange car."

"Jesus, Karnstein, stop saying those things. Firstly, 'helpless' wouldn’t be a word I’d use to describe you. Secondly, if by 'many women' you’re referring to a certain blonde journalist then yes, Laura would love to have you at her mercy."

"What... I never... It is not what..."

"Oh, please! We both know it’s only a matter of time. Laura practically drools at the mention of your name, and you’re worse at hiding your feelings than she is."

"Whatever,” you huff. “Just tell me where we’re heading."

You try to change the subject because honestly, your red face isn’t helping your case. Besides, you really do want to know where you’re going. Although you trust Laf on a personal level even after so many years, you’ve always been a little cautious around them. After all, this is the same person that once caused four explosions in the school lab in the space of a month. Why you or they don’t have a criminal record after their experiments is one of Life’s enduring mysteries. There was also the night that they decided that it would be a good idea to break into the school library by imitating the best parts of Mission Impossible and ended up suspended for a week.  All because of a phone call from their ‘friend’ (who had been moved to a different high school) in the middle of the so-called mission. Apparently, she decided that two in the morning was a good time to call LaF. 

"Karnstein, do you remember how difficult high school was for me? All the teasing, the nicknames, the micro-aggressions, the attacks and the incessant need of people to misgender me?”

The only thing you can do is nod because although you were aware of it, you didn’t always realize the extent of it. True, you always tried to defend them against the assholes that made fun of them behind their back or the adults who often acted worse than the students. 

"It turned out that all my dreams upon entering university and meeting ‘grown-up’ people, that I’d be accepted or at least tolerated, were really just dreams.  As soon as I entered Silas and said 'Hi, I'm Laf and I’m non-binary' I became a target. The difference was that now there was no one to help me fight. The first year was really difficult because not even Perry understood how to treat me. It took her ages to even get my name right. I don’t blame her.  She tried the best she could "

Laf stops at the side of the road for a moment before making a U-turn onto a dirt road. They constantly check their rear-view and side mirrors and you don’t think they’ve been this nervous since the time they made a working replica of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant. 

To this day you have no idea if the glow was real uranium or not. 

"After that… well, we both know what happened with Ell. I was left without friends, Perry was trying to adjust to me again, and she didn't know anyone else there. The new people I was trying to meet were all moving away. I spent most of my time in in the laboratories and reading. I spent as much time in the laboratories as I could before they would make me leave and then I would take refuge in the library amongst the science books. Several times I was about to give up and drop out of college.”

“But then in my second year, I met someone. Don’t look at me like that, it wasn’t romantic. Jeep was my first university friend. He never judged me when I told him how I identified. In fact, thanks to him I met Laura at a study session. Laura was still Danny’s girlfriend, and I met her later. I also met Kirsch who wasn’t the brightest and always needed help with his courses. Now you know Laura has a heart bigger than all of us, so let's say she adopted him and he used to follow her around like a lost puppy. Danny and him hated each other at the time, but if it hadn't been for Laura, they never would have talked to each other outside of fraternity business. However, thanks to  Jeep, after a few months I had a group of people who supported me throughout my university years and have also become friends for life.”

"Forgive me," you whisper without turning toward Laf. You don’t have the courage to do so. Thanks to a toxic relationship, you picked Ell over your best friend. You abandoned them to their fate, even though you knew what had happened to them in high school.

"Hey! It’s okay. I understand you had to choose between your friends and your girlfriend. You thought you had made the right decision. Even now, I can't say that I fully understand why, but believe it or not, I’m truly sorry that it didn’t work out the way you hoped. You didn’t deserve that.’

You smile without turning. This is the way such conversations have always gone between you.  There’s rarely any eye contact, but you’ve always understood each other without acknowledging what you’ve shared.

"It's not that I don't appreciate you telling me all this but what the hell has it got to do with this journey into this forest? Are you still looking for revenge on me for choosing Ell over your friendship?"

Laf only rolls their eyes, but the smile on their face is priceless.

"When we graduated from Silas, we all went our separate ways. Jeep went to the United States to do his master's degree and then returned to Finland for his doctorate. Naturally, we didn’t see each other as often, but he’s always had a special place in my heart."

"Aaaw, Laf. You actually have a heart.”

"Shut up, Karnstein. At least, he didn’t desert me for his girlfriend."

"Ouch! Now that’s just low."

"Whatever. The fact is that a few years ago I received a call from Jeep saying he was returning to Austria in a few days. He wanted to meet up with all of us. The next thing I heard that he had arrived two days early without telling me. I tried to get him to meet us, but he kept putting me off because he was so busy with work and I lost contact with him. Then a few weeks ago I received another call from him. He was begging me for help. He was always there for me when I needed it most so I couldn't say no."

The forest begins to thin out until the car arrives at a clearing. Laf parks the car under one of the largest trees and pops the trunk car to retrieve the box with the all the food. They hand you a backpack to hold while they remove a large camouflaged sheet and drape it over the car. After examining their handiwork, they also place a few branches around it.

This doesn’t look good. What the hell have you got yourself mixed up in now?

Laf strides carefully through the trees, and all you can do is follow them. 

As you pass through the forest, you spot a lake that has obviously seen better days and on the lakeside, a cabin that looks neglected. It triggers a memory of times you had almost forgotten, one where the lake was a little more crystalline, the jetty was maintained, and the cabin was always freshly painted.

You know this place, although it’s been a long time since you set foot in it. In your mind, you’re a little girl again who’s holding her father’s hand while your mother carries Will in her arms. Mattie confidently walks ahead of all of you because even then, she acted as if she owned every place that she set foot in.

You’re so lost in thought that you don't even realize that you and Laf have reached the porch. The door opens cautiously, and suddenly you remember a middle-aged bearded man standing in the doorway to welcome you.  His beard always tickled you when he picked you up and he’d always rub it across your cheek to tease you. You took it in good part because even now the memory of his deep brown eyes and his smile warms your heart. His unusual accent made you laugh from the first time you met him, and he used to exaggerate it to cheer you up when you were feeling down. For a moment, it feels like it was all in your imagination. But then you remember him holding a small child who was the spitting image of him (minus the beard of course) and dressed as if he was born in another century. The child smiles at you and waves his hand in greeting.

It’s a bit of a shock when the door opens all the way, and there is a man standing there with a warm smile, a beard as bushy as your memories and the same friendly eyes. It’s as if your memories have come to life.

"It’s about time, Laf! You know how much I hate tardiness," the man says before looking at you.

You freeze in place, holding the backpack in a deathlike grip. Laf puts the box with the food on top of the small bench on the porch and embraces the man who hasn’t taken his eyes off you.

"Hello, Millie. Long time no see," he says with a smile.

 

 

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well isn’t this nice Lilita? The two women in your daughter’s life finally meet.”

"Excuse me? You're no longer in Carm’s life, Ell."

And that’s why you should think before opening your mouth. Ell and Lilita stare intensely at you. However, Ell looks as if she wants to kill you while Lilita smiles pleasantly and it’s almost like seeing Carmilla in front of you.

"Oh, so it’s ‘Carm’ now? You’ve started the pet names already. And what does she call you, Miss Hollis? Princess? Sweetie? Wait, I know. Cutie. Carmilla always loved that nickname. But don't feel so special, Miss Hollis, she often said it to me too."

The thought of Carmilla being affectionate with this woman makes you nauseous. It’s a good job you’re a professional because the urge to punch those perfect teeth down her throat is almost overwhelming. But it’s probably not what your father intended you to use it for when he wanted you to learn self-defense.

"Anyway. If I didn’t have so many more important things to do, I would have loved to chat with you about 'our' Carmilla. Enjoy your evening together. I imagine that you have a lot to talk about."

Lilita tenses when the blond put an arm around her shoulder to place the briefest of kisses on each cheek before pulling away.

"We’ll talk again about this, Lilita. You have until Monday to reconsider. It would be such a shame to lose the little contact you have with your daughter or the rest of your family if they learn anything else.”

She extends her hand to you, and you reluctantly shake it. The coldness of her skin is almost unnatural. Maybe you could call her the 'Ice Queen' in future? 

Yeah, right. Very mature, Hollis.

Ell doesn’t let go and pulls you dangerously close to whisper venomously in your ear.

"It’s been a pleasure, I’m sure, Miss Hollis. Only I must warn you that you needn’t get too close to my wife and my daughter. Now that I’ve returned to Austria, I will have my family back."

"Carmilla is no longer your wife and Hayley is certainly not your daughter. They are not your family."

You squeeze her delicate hand more tightly until you can almost feel her bones crack.

"Neither are they yours, Miss Hollis," she hisses as she pulls her hand free. She brushes past you and gives Lilita a stern look before leaving the office.

And ouch! You can't deny the pain you feel at the blonde’s assertion. No matter how much you want to defend Carmilla and Hayley from whatever Ell is up to, it’s true what the bitch said. They are not yours.

It’s fair to say that Lilita is speechless at what just happened.

"I certainly didn’t expect this to be our first meeting, Miss Hollis."

"Laura."

"Excuse me?"

"Please call me Laura, Ms. Morgan."

Lilita smiles warmly and extends her hand to shake yours. Just like Carmilla’s, it’s firm but welcoming. She invites you to take the seat in front of her desk, while she sits behind it.

"And tell me, to what do I owe the pleasure, Laura?"

Yes, your visit? Why are you here, Laura? The presence of Carmilla’s ex-wife of has distracted you.

"I… Miss Morgan… I mean Lilita **,** I’m here because of my work. I would like to know your position on the latest allegations about the foreign accounts in your name where the Prime Minister’s embezzled money has been traced."

"Why don’t you tell me why you’re really here, Laura? You could have spoken directly with Matska. She is the spokesperson for this affair."

"Of course, but it is my duty as a journalist to go to the primary sources for information."

"And I suppose none of this has anything to do with your relationship with my daughter?"

"There’s nothing between us, Miss Morgan. I am here as a journalist and fulfilling my duty to get the facts and nothing but the facts. The truth is the only thing that matters."

"That’s very noble, Laura. But you cannot be so naïve. What is truth really?"

"The truth is the truth. It can’t be anything other than what it is!"

Lilita looks surprised by your passionate response, and maybe you shouldn't be shouting at the mother of the woman that you're in love with. 

Wait, What?

Lilita gaze seems to bore right through you. She rests her elbows on the table and leans forward as if carefully considering her response.

"Well, Laura. Do you want the truth? That will be a long afternoon for both of us, but I will do it under one condition. What I am about to reveal is to Laura Hollis, the girlfriend of my daughter and not to Laura Hollis, the journalist."

"Carm and I are not… I mean…It’s complicated."

"The official titles are unnecessary here, Laura. My granddaughter has not stopped talking about you and…"

"Sloan."

"Yes, Sloan. Hayley was the one who filled me in on the nature of the relationship between my daughter and you."

"Hayley? You can’t be serious!"

Lilita rolls her eyes in exasperation. You don't understand how Carmilla wants nothing to do with her mother when they’re so alike.

"Children are more observant than we give them credit for and if you’ve been around my granddaughter as often as she says, you should know by now that Hayley is very  observant ."

That’s true, and you can only nod in response.

"So now that we’ve cleared that up, anything we speak about here can’t leave this room. Not even Carmilla can know. Can you promise me that, Laura?"

This is unacceptable, you are here to help Carmilla, and you gave her your word. Also, if you don’t reveal what Lilita Morgan is about to tell you to your boss, then you’re breaking every journalistic rule that you’ve lived by. You can’t do this.

"I promise."

Oh, Laura!

"Very well, make yourself comfortable, Laura. Many years ago, I was left alone with three children because my husband decided overnight that he wanted to change his whole lifestyle and I couldn’t convince him to see reason. Any other woman would have probably waited for him to see sense and return to his family, but I wasn’t taking that chance. I had three children to support. I threw myself into my work to support them the best I could.” 

“Fortunately, I had people who helped me with everything. Jean-Paul Armitage, formerly my husband’s best friend, was the most faithful of them. His steady hand helped to keep the firm afloat, and we thrived as a business. But it was very hard on all of us.’

It is amazing the way Lilita’s mood changes. She has always sounded like a strong, confident woman from what you’ve read, but now she looks small and somewhat defeated. You nod slowly at her to continue because you’re currently lost for words.

"I realized when it was too late that I had lost my children. I was so busy trying to make sure that they wanted for nothing that I didn't stop to think about how much they needed me around now that their father was gone. I ended up looking for the affection that I had lost from my family from other men who of course were only attracted to my money and influence.”

“When Matska informed me that Carmilla was going to marry Ell, I was horrified. Carmilla is stubborn and refused to listen to us when we begged her not to do it. But she was head-over-heels in love with her, and that clouded her judgment. I also had to learn from Matska that they were planning to adopt a child.”

“The first thing I felt was dread. We knew Ell did not love Carmilla but they were grown adults, and there wasn’t anything we could do anyway. I was totally against the idea as I knew Ell is incapable of loving anyone other than herself. But then I met Hayley. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen; even though I had remembered how hard it was raising three children of my own, I also remembered how much they make you smile and laugh. I knew when I held her in my arms for the first time that I would do anything to protect her to make up for the way I neglected my own."

Lilita’s eyes are filled with tears and so are yours.  Even if you wanted to say anything, the lump in your throat wouldn't let you.

"When Ell became fed up of Hayley, I was the one who offered her a chance to leave. The apparent desertion of Carmilla seemed like the best option then, even though I knew how heartbroken she would be. I hoped that someday she would understand. At that time Ell’s father was going through a very rough patch. His bank was almost insolvent, and they needed backing in case there was a run on the bank. That was the deal I made with Ell, she would disappear from Carmilla’s life, and I would deposit enough money in her father’s bank to keep it in business.”

As far as you’re concerned, you’ve heard enough.

"You’re something else Lilita. How could you do something like that?  I’m not saying that Ell should have stayed with them if they weren’t happy, but to walk out on them as if they were nothing? Carmilla was left alone with Hayley, abandoned all over again.”

Lilita offers you a sad smile.

"You’re a mother too, Laura. What would you have done in my place? Ell did not love my daughter or my granddaughter; in the long term, she would have hurt them even more by staying. I wasn’t going to tolerate that. It was better in my opinion to have a quick, clean break.”

“I tried to reach out to Carmilla by asking her to return home, but as you already know, she’s a proud woman and refused my offer. I had to talk to William and offer him a job in the firm to stay near her. They’ve always been close, so he already wanted to help in any way he could. But he gave up his dream of moving to London to start his own business to do it. Matska decided to stay on in my business as my right hand to be closer to her siblings. It was all I could do. I was the one who moved heaven and earth to get the divorce and asked Matska to take credit for it. I knew that Carmilla didn't want me to get involved."

Wow.

"Why don't you tell Carmilla this? Why hide it? Don’t you want her to know how much you did for her?”

"I would love that, Laura. But life is rarely that simple, and sometimes we just have to live with it. If Carmilla finds out that I paid Ell to leave, she won’t believe my explanation, and honestly, I wouldn’t blame her for believing I did it to hurt her. I never showed how much I cared, so naturally, she wouldn’t trust me. I also know that this is why you are here today. Carmilla doubts me. She knows how this business with the accounts looks and has sent the person she trusts more than William or Matska to investigate the matter."

_ Uh Oh! Busted! _

However, Lilita doesn’t seem angry. On the contrary, she keeps smiling, but it’s a gloomy affair.

"So, is it true? There are embezzled funds and accounts in your name?”

"Yes there are, Laura,"

Fuck! You still had hope. Goodbye hope.

"But it’s not what you think. A couple of years ago, Ell came to meet me. She had sorted out her life but needed help to advance her new career. She wanted access to the hard-won contacts I had built up around Europe with politicians and lobby groups in exchange for continuing to leave my daughter alone. I agreed, thinking it would be the last time I’d have to deal with her. But Ell was not the only one to benefit from this. Her father had struck a deal with Vordenberg to enrich themselves by skimming money from Austria’s public pension funds.”

“As soon as I realized what was happening I warned him that I would inform the police, even if it meant I lost my daughter and granddaughter for good. But he threatened me that if I said anything, that not only would Ell return to ruin Carmilla’s life, but that he’d also tell the authorities that I was the real culprit and that the money I deposited in his bank was the embezzled funds.”

“It wasn’t just that, Laura. I had to promise to help them out of any trouble they got tangled up in. Otherwise, Ell would come back for Hayley and Carmilla and take them out of the country. I could live with the fact that my daughter despises me, but I couldn't live knowing that she would be so far away from our help and under the power of the worst possible person. I didn’t think that Carmilla felt anything for Ell, but I feared that she was capable of anything to give Hayley the family that she never had.”

“So Laura, ss Truth all it seems on the surface or what we want to believe? Can there be other 'truths'? Or as a journalist, two sides to every story?"

You hate to admit it, but Lilita is right. You would do the same for your daughter.

"Is there nothing Mattie can do?"

"We’re trying everything, Laura. Matska has been chasing up every lead she can find, but all the relevant people seem to have vanished off the face of the earth. Those in charge of the transfers and who possessed all the account information are untraceable. I’m aware that you were trying to find some of the same people, you for your expose, I to save my reputation, but so far we’ve both been unsuccessful."

"But, there has to be something we can do."

"I am lost without them. They’re the missing links that would prove the criminality of Ell’s father and Vordenberg. I was certain that you would find it, but now, with all the evidence pointing toward me and with Ell’s return to Austria, I don’t think anything else can be done. No one can fight her; her father will never confess, and Vordenberg is just a pawn. There’s nothing that can save me."

"Do you think that Ell will try to get to Carm?"

Really, Laura? The woman is in danger of losing her family and everything she’s worked for, and you act like a jealous high school girlfriend wondering if the head of the cheerleading squad is going to rob Carmilla from you? She’s not your girlfriend.

"I wouldn’t worry about that, Laura. I trust my daughter’s and granddaughters' feelings for you.  Carmilla wouldn’t allow you to be involved with her and especially not her daughter, because Hayley is Carmilla’s life

. Also, I don’t think Ell cares whether she wins Carmilla back or not. It’s Hayley she wants."

What?

"She and her husband are unable to have children,  but as long as I didn’t expose the reason why, they didn’t fight for custody of Hayley .”

"Husband? Where? How?"

"You already know him, Laura."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"It’s Theo Straka."

Oh, shit!

 

 

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

 

 

Laf stares at both of you, completely confused.

"Come on Millie, I know we haven’t seen each other in years, but surely you remember the child who taught you everything you know about the stars?"

_ *** _

_ The night was cold, but that didn’t stop you lying on the grass watching the stars. You liked to believe that they’re always watching over you, just like the stories and legends that say our ancestors became stars when they died. It was fascinating to see how they were far brighter than in the city. They were always the highlight of your vacation, especially when your best friend shared so many fascinating tidbits and nuggets of information about them. _

_ You never got to experience it again. The following Summer, your father had gone. _

_ "And that one’s Ursa Major also called the Great Bear, " _

_ "Doesn't look much like a bear," you grumbled. _

_ The child lying next to you just laughed. _

_ "Certainly. Some civilizations have given it other names, the Arabs though it was shaped like a cart and the Native Americans believed that it was a bucket." _

_ "Ah! A cart. I can understand that or the bucket; everything but a bear," you reply while trying to visualize this ‘bear’ that the ancient Greeks saw. _

_ "Well, the Greeks considered that Ursa Major was the bear that Artemis had turned Callisto into as punishment for being seduced by Zeus. I learned later that Zeus was disguised as Artemis, but my father never told me that part of the story,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders. _

_ "Sometimes J.P., I would like to be one of them. Up there where nothing could touch me, but looking down at the other people, what they do in their lives and support them in their sorrows.” _

_ "You should stop reading so much broody gothic poetry, Millie." _

_ "Look who’s talking about reading so much. I swear you’ve become part of the library at this point." _

_ The child laughed uproariously, and when it subsided, he extended his little finger towards you. _

_ "What?" _

_ "Let's make a promise, Millie. Let us be stars on earth for each other. People say that the best friends are like them; even when they’re not visible, they’re always there. We will always be there for each other." _

_ "You're so cheesy," you replied with a grin as you eagerly extended your own finger and sealed the promise. _

***

"J.P.!" You cry as you embrace him tightly. He stumbles slightly as he tries to maintain his balance and hold you and your heavy backpack upright.

"Uhm. Have I missed something?" asks a puzzled Laf.

Their voice brings you back to reality. One in which you feel really embarrassed by the obvious love and affection you have for J.P.

"But how do you two know each other?" you demand while trying to regain your usual apathetic air.

_ Calm down, Karnstein and stop acting like such a child _ .

"How do we know each other? What about you, Karnstein? J.P. Is Jeep, my best friend from Silas."

"Oh! I had forgotten your father used to call you Jeep!"

J.P. smiles sadly.

"It’s okay. Let's get inside, both of you must be tired, and we can catch with a good bottle of wine and some cigars. I hope Laf didn’t forget them."

"I didn’t, but that’s only because Lenny reminded me," replies Laf, somewhat sheepishly.

"Classic!" replies J.P. laughing as he goes back inside. You follow him as Laf holds open the door for you. They seem somewhat nervous they take a last look around outside before entering.

While Laf puts away everything they bought, J.P. insists on cooking some pasta for lunch to welcome you because not doing so would apparently make him a ‘terrible host.’ You walk slowly through the cabin that you barely recognize from your childhood because it’s so neglected. 

His father’s fishing trophies are still on display. He was proud of his fishing skill while your father considered it a mark of pride that he never hunted or killing a living creature. The orange curtains in the living room are all dusty and moth-eaten, but back then they created a feeling of warmth as both families gathered around the fire to sing traditional songs and tell stories. In your childish imagination, they also helped to keep the monsters at bay when the adults were asleep, and Mattie would try to scare you, J.P. and Will with stories of ancestral monsters, blood sucking vampires and brain parasites. 

J.P. and you loved those nights, while Will as the youngest, hated them. There were many nights when he had to sleep in your bed because he had nightmares. The overstuffed furniture was also incredibly comfortable to spend the afternoon on as you read your books while the adults and Mattie lit the campfire outside and prepared the food.

There’s a photo on the fireplace that you haven’t seen in years. It’s from the last summer you spent here. 

Your mother has Will in her arms, while one of her hands rests lovingly on your shoulder. You’re smiling, even though you’re missing one of your front teeth after falling earlier that day while helping your father to carry wood for the fire. Mattie’s arm is linked with your mothers and resting her head on her shoulders.

Your father is beside your mother, trying to pass one of his arms over her shoulders, and for the first time, you notice how uncomfortable he looks. You wonder why you never noticed this before. 

Well, you were only eight: it’s not like you paid much attention to their relationship. 

J.P. and his father are on the other side of you, and both of his hands rest proudly on J.P.’s shoulders as he holds up the first fish he ever caught. No one knew you were the one who caught it because he was never good with these things, but he wanted to make his father smile. So, when no one was looking, you swapped your rod with his.

Everyone is smiling except your father. Was he really that miserable?

"I always knew that it was you," said J.P., disturbing you from your reverie.

"I have no idea what you’re talking about."

Jeep smiles.

"You changed the rods."

"It was nothing. I didn't want to go fishing, my father didn't care what I did, and your father was really proud when you reeled the fish out of the water."

There is a certain sadness when you realize what  _ my father didn't care what I did  _ sounds like.

"That's not true, Carmilla. Your father was just as proud when you saved that injured bird that hit our window on Thanksgiving. Or when you built that squirrel feeder, even though my father ended up trying to chase them back to the forest when every squirrel for miles around tried to use it."

You giggle at the memory of J.P.’s father and yours trying to scare the squirrels away. Your mother was trying to pick up Will as he screamed to get away from them. To this day, he breaks out in a cold sweat if he even sees a squirrel.

"And I’m also sure your father knew what you did, though."

"What?"

"I remember my father congratulating me and carrying me on their shoulders for having caught my first fish, but I also remember your father smile for the first time that summer when you said that you hadn't caught anything as you handed back the rod. You may not remember, but mine was blue, and yours was black, so I know that he was aware of what you did for me. He was so proud of you.”

There’s a lump in your throat that isn’t going away anytime soon.

"Aaaw. I am sorry to interrupt such a touching reunion but the wine is chilled, and lunch is served."

Well, of course, if anyone could make it go away, it’s Laf for sure.

After chatting together over lunch and bringing each other up to date with events in your lives, the three of you sit together in the living room with a glass of wine each while J.P. lights up a cigar. Neither Laf nor you smoke because you have children. Maybe you’ll have one later; one a year doesn't hurt anyone, and they help you think.

"Well, the first thing I want to know is what’s up with this nickname, Millie? Most people who ever called you anything other than Carmilla usually regretted it. Even Ell didn’t dare.” 

Of course, Laf is the first to speak and has that stupid grin on their face. You know exactly what they’re insinuating and glare at them. Jeep just smiles.

"That’s what Carmilla’s father used to call her."

"J.P. was the only one, apart from him, that called me that. When my father left, I never let anyone else use it."

The smile drops from Laf’s face when you answer so seriously. Even though they were aware that your father was never around, they never intruded or asked about it. That was one of the many reasons why you liked them.

"Cool, cool,” they reply. “So Jeep, how did you two meet?"

“Our parents set up the law firm together. Carmilla’s father was there for my father when my mother died, and I was only three years old. Lilita even let me sleep at her house when my dad had to travel out of town for business."

Oh, hell. You have forgotten that part as well. Due to all the sleepovers at your house, the guest room became his room after your mother got fed up of preparing it every time he stayed over. She even helped J.P. to decorate the room exactly as he wanted it.

"Oh! I feel like I should shut up Jeep, but how is that none of us in high school knew of your existence?"

Oh great, it looks like this interrogation isn’t going to end anytime soon. You might as well get it over with.

"When my father left, J.P.’s father had to take up the slack. Mother had studied law, like my father, in fact, they both studied law in Silas and met there. When they got married after graduation, Mother stayed at home and had Mattie, me and Will, so she hadn’t actually practiced law. She had no idea how to run the business until Jean-Paul helped bring her up to speed. But that meant he began to spend less time with his own son.”

"I know, Millie. My father decided to send me to a boarding school in England where I studied until I got my GSCE’s which is their equivalent of a high school diploma. But you and I ended up losing contact with each other.” 

"But then you came to Silas?" asks Laf.

"Do you remember when I arrived as a transfer student in my sophomore year?"

Laf nods and you listen carefully, not wanting to miss a single word.

"Well, I was a freshman in England, and everything was going great, but then I got a call from my father. He had fallen seriously ill with cancer, and he wanted me to return home to spend his last years with me. So, I asked for a transfer to Silas, and that was when I met you Laf. My father always wanted me to work in the firm, but I wasn’t interested. It took a while to persuade him until he realized how good I was at computers and how much I loved it. Around the same time, I began to intern at the Austrian Central Bank while studying. But I didn’t have much time for socializing, and I wanted you to meet my friends so that they would be there for you when I wasn’t.” 

“Sometimes, I thought I saw you there Millie,” says J.P., turning to you. “But we had been apart for so long, and I wasn’t certain. It’s not that you had changed a lot, but there was always a blonde girl with you, so I forgot about it and continued with my work and studies."

Fuck. One more thing that Ell ruined for you. How different things could have been if J.P. had returned to your life. 

"Jeep is that friend that you were talking about," you say to Laf who nods with a smile.

Wait a minute.

"J.P., that means you know Laura?"

Why are you like this, you wonder. It seems that no matter how surprising all these revelations are, you still have to bring it back to Laura Hollis.

"You know Laura Hollis?" asks J.P. looking a little surprised.

“Yeah, she’s her ‘friend’,” says Laf, doing that stupid eyebrow thing again. Why haven’t you killed them yet?

"Ah! So you and Laura Hollis are together?" says J.P. with a smile.

"That's not… Laura is…. She’s… my friend. I think. I don't know. Our daughters go to school together."

Jeep and Laf look at you with big smiles on their faces. Great, that’s all you need, your two best friends ganging up to tease you. Dimwits.

"And I guess that's why your eyes light up when you say her name."

Stupid J.P.

"It's complicated."

"Why is it complicated? “he asks.

"Well for starters, our daughters are best friends. If it doesn’t work out, if something happens, I don’t want that their friendship affected. And if that were not enough, thanks to our jobs, we’re on opposite sides of an ongoing case."

"Oh, don’t be so negative Millie. But I have to say that I never imagined you’d end up with someone like Laura.”

Geez, thanks. You glare at J.P.

"But… do you not think that Fate wanted that your daughter and her daughter to meet at this point in their lives, causing you and Laura to meet, that it must be for something beyond our simple human understanding."

"I don't believe in destiny, J.P."

“You should,” replies Laf.

"Seriously, Laf? I thought you were supposed to be a scientist and not a believer in fate and destiny."

"I am, but why not believe that the decisions we take eventually lead us onto the right path? I mean, just look at me."

You nod at them to continue.

"Perry and me. We split up in high school, and despite meeting again in Silas, we still had a long way to travel before we realized that we were in love and we wanted to share our life together."

What?

"Wait a minute, are you telling me that Betty Crocker is the same best friend that you were swooning over in high school?”

"Hahahaha. Betty Crocker," says J.P. with a snigger

Laf glares at J.P. And Ooops? You shouldn’t have let that nickname slip out.

"Yes, it was Perry, and I wasn’t swooning over her!"

"Sorry Lafonbrain, I meant crushing."

"Hah! Lafonbrain, that’s even better Millie!"

Damn, how you missed this nerd.

"Whatever, Kitty" replies Laf.

" Kitty!? That’s the best one of all!" 

J.P. is in tears of laughter at this stage.

"Shut it, Jean Paul."

"Oi! Watch it," he replies with a pout as Laf high fives you. You leave the room to grab another bottle of wine and top up everyone’s glass. There’s still something you don’t understand though.

"Well Laf, now I would like to know why you wanted me to come here and why didn’t you tell me that we were going to meet J.P.?"

"To be fair, I had no idea that you knew each other. And I think it’s better that Jeep tells you the rest."

You sit back in your chair after serving the wine. Everything feels so normal.

"Well, a few years ago, my father died. I must say that I was surprised you weren’t at the funeral, Millie."

You really are the worst of friends. If you hadn’t been so angry with your mother, you would have met J.P. She had tried to get in touch with you by phone, but your pride got in the way.

"I'm so sorry."

"Well, at the time it hurt a little because I was hoping to see you again even if it was a sad occasion. But I understand," replied J.P. with a sincere smile. 

Shit, you have the best friends in the world, yet you feel even worse.

"After my father died, I decided to study in the United States and then in Finland. In my grief, I wanted to get away from Austria and everything that reminded me of him. The Central Bank sent me Finland for work experience, and a few years later I was transferred back here. Though the work was busy, I still had plenty of time to myself, and everything was going well until a few months ago. My job was to oversee and approve any large fund transfers out of the country. But I noticed that there were some large fund movements that were made without my approval to accounts whose names I couldn’t access.”

“I had to report it, so I wrote a memo on the matter, and there was no response. When I went to my boss, he told me that he had personally approved it. It was money from a powerful Austrian person who didn’t want their identity known. It sounded fishy to me, so I began to save all the information I could on the subject. I had to cover myself because I knew I was the one who’d get the blame if it was as dodgy as I suspected.”

“The following weeks were mostly business as usual, but then I received word that these new accounts were being topped up with exorbitant amounts. I kept saving all the information I could until a few weeks later I began to feel watched on my journeys to and from work. Then I began to notice an expensive looking car following me everywhere. I knew that it wasn’t a good sign, so I collected everything important, my backups, things that belonged to my father, some clothes and I decided to buy a plane ticket to London. I was followed to the airport, but I checked in as if I was taking my flight. Luckily, I could sneak out past security, and I called the only person that I trusted completely. I told Laf how to meet me here, and this has been my hiding place ever since."

Uh, oh. 

"Do you have any idea who was following you?"

"I never got too close enough to recognize them, but strangely I felt like I knew them. All I can be certain off is that it was a woman which I thought was odd. Don’t get me wrong, I don't want to sound sexist and assume women can’t do the dirty work. But she looked like someone who could easily afford to have someone else do that sort of thing. But of course, I didn't want to stay to discover if she was going to beat me up in a dark alley or if she was even a hired assassin.”

Oh, no. No, no, no, no. It can’t be.

"J.P., did you notice anything else about the car?"

"Not really. No, wait. I wrote down the model and number plates.”

 Immediately, you pull out of your cell phone, but there’s no reception. Great! 

Then you realize you don’t need it. You open your picture album, and you scroll through them until you find what you are looking for and zoom in the image.

"J.P., Is this the car?"

J.P. reviews the picture, and his eyes widen in surprise.

"I’ll have to check my notes, but it looks like the same model."

Oh crap, no. You grab your phone back and locate one of your favorite pictures. It’s a quick photo you took of your daughter laughing in delight while another woman tickles her. You practically shove your phone in J.P.’s face.

"Is she the woman?" you demand.

"Whoa!"

J.P. stares at your phone screen in shock and can only nod. Any hope you had is gone. Goodbye Hope.

Because the woman on your screen is Mattie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. my, my! What's going on here?!
> 
> J.P., Mattie, Lilita, Theo... puff so much mess.
> 
> Would Hollstein get through all the bullshit on their lives?
> 
> Would you get through the whole week for the next chapter?! We'll see... we'll see.


	23. Directions.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura returns from her interview with Lilita Morgan. 
> 
> Carmilla returns from her trip down memory lane.
> 
> Sloan and Hayley are the best.
> 
> Hollstein AF!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone say Hollstein? Well… here you go if you did. I know you did. 
> 
>  
> 
> This is one of my favorite chapters and I’ll sure you’ll figure out why. * Wink, Wink.*
> 
>  
> 
> Only two chapters left after this one. 
> 
>  
> 
> Please don't forget to leave comments I love hearing from you and your theories. 
> 
>  
> 
> xoxo 
> 
>  
> 
> Mckie

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

 

 _Theodoros Straka, 34 years old, born in_ _Patras, Greece. Political Adviser._

 

_ Theo studied political science at the University of Cambridge and started out as chief advisor to his father Ploutarchos Straka, representative of an ultra-right party in his native country. He then went on to work throughout Europe for various unsavory groupings and political personalities, but always behind the scenes. Two years ago, he married Ell von Habsburg, one of the top spin-doctors in European politics. _

 

Well, this information would have been a lot more useful to you weeks ago.

 

Not that’s there a lot of it, as most of it is about his career. There’s very little about his personal life and relationship with Ell. There are several photos taken at public events and a big report on their wedding in Greece. Of course, it’s in Greek, and the free online translator can barely cope, although apparently, it was a fairy tale marriage. There’s nothing in it that will help Lilita.

 

"Laur, tell Sloan not to be mean to me!"

 

Hayley’s voice distracts you from your laptop as the little blond runs into the room with tears running down her cheeks. She hugs you tightly, and your heart melts at the gesture.

 

"What is it, honey?" you ask while kissing her forehead. 

 

"Sloan is mean," she repeats, pouting.

 

It’s been some time since you returned home after that talk with Carmilla’s mother. You’re determined to solve this for her sake, and especially for Carmilla. God, you would do anything to unravel this skein of trouble and make Carmilla happy. After collecting the girls from Perry’s house, you brought them back to yours so that you could keep an eye on them and do some work as well. But not before sending a message or two, (or twenty) to let Carmilla know that Hayley was with you.

 

But neither she nor LaFontaine answered their phones. Perry reassured you that they were together and that they would be back that night. But judging by the way she was stress cleaning around you, she seemed to know more than she was willing to share.

 

Hayley is still sobbing and clinging to you.  You rub her back gently to calm her down as you rest your cheek on top of her head and hum the lullaby that you used to do when you were trying to calm Sloan down when she was a baby.

 

A clearly upset Sloan comes into the room; her hands are clenched behind her back, and she drags her feet slowly as she approaches you.

 

"Hay, I was just teasing you."

 

Hayley doesn’t answer Sloan or let go of you. On the contrary, she hugs you tighter. 

 

Sloan seems to realize how disappointed you are in her and stares at her feet at a loss for what to do. When Hayley manages to stop crying you open your arms to your daughter so that you can hug her and Sloan together. She rolls her eyes, but she still accepts the hug eagerly. She’s become more willing to do that again lately, probably due to Hayley and Carmilla’s company. 

 

If only it could be like this all the time.

 

"I 'm sorry, Hay. I only meant to scare you a little.”

"Then why didn’t you stop when I asked you?" replies a still sniffling Hayley.

"Because at first it was fun to scare you, but I didn't want to make you upset," says your daughter, blushing. A blush which intensifies when Hayley loosens her grip on you to hug Sloan so fiercely that she has to take two steps back to keep her balance. 

 

"Promise you won’t do that to me again," says Hayley looking Sloan in the eyes. Sloan’s arms are still pinned to her side.

 

"Okay, I promise," replies Sloan as she sighs and returns the hug as best as she could.

 

“Are either of you going to tell me what this was about?" you say, trying not to sound angry. But you can’t help frowning slightly at Sloan to let her know that whatever she did was not to be repeated. Ever.

 

"Hayley and I were watching that show about vampires again, and I told her that real vampires wouldn’t be like that. So, I showed her some of my _30 Days of Night_ comics, and she got a little scared, but I was trying to show her what real vampires would be like, Ma.”

 

Hold on, when did Sloan start to ramble like you or Hayley?

 

Then again, you’re grateful to the girl for their friendship and that your daughter feels more at ease to do this, no matter whether she makes sense or not.

 

"I told Uncle Kirsch that these comics were not a good idea! Is that why you were scared, Hayley?" 

 

"Well… I might also have said that vampires live among us and that they could be anyone" replies your daughter staring at the ceiling to avoid your gaze.

 

"And maybe they’d come and steal me away tonight!" insisted Hayley.

 

Judging by Sloan’s guilty look, she had been trying at all costs not to mention that bit.

 

"I was just playing, I swear!" says Sloan anxiously, taking Hayley’s hands in hers. Her eyes begin to mist up.

 

"Listen to me carefully, Sloan,” you say. “Hayley is your friend, and you’re supposed to make her feel welcome in this house, not scare her so much that she doesn’t want to come back.”

 

Sloan is horrified at your words and immediately pulls Hayley closely to hug her.

 

"No, no, please don't be angry at me. It was silly of me. I'm not going to let any vampire or monster take you away. I want you to stay with us, I want you to be with us forever."

 

_ Oh, my God! _

 

Hayley wipes her eyes and then Sloan’s while smiling shyly. Your heart melts again at the scene unfolding in front of your eyes.

 

"I'm not going anywhere, silly. Vampires are just make-believe. No one is going to take me

away. Isn’t that right Laur?"

 

You can't help but remember the conversation this afternoon with Lilita. Your happiness sours a little when you remember Ell’s threat to you regarding Hayley. But only for a moment. You're determined to do everything in your power to prevent that bitch from taking Hayley away from her family, Sloan or you. 

 

"That’s right Hay. Sloan and I are here to take care of you, and I am sure that your mom won’t be too much longer."

 

"Okay, I miss Mom, but I like it here too. It’s like being at home."

 

God, your girls are going to kill you with their tenderness. 

 

Yes, your girls. There is no paper or blood that can overcome the love that you have developed for Hayley. It is imperative that you come to some sort of understanding between Carmilla and you. Because Hayley is like your daughter and as such you will protect her from anything.

 

"What if I give you both some of Perry’s cookies and you can watch something in the living room while I'm working. Would you like that?"

 

"YAAAAAY!" 

"Yeah, sure, I guess."

Of course, Hayley is the most enthusiastic. But Sloan is smiling too.

 

After some cookies, and perhaps there are more than Carmilla would allow her daughter to eat, the girls are silently doing another Harry Potter marathon, which of course Hayley insisted on after Sloan’s behavior to her earlier. Not that Sloan put up much resistance anyway. To your astonishment, Hayley seems to have made Sloan a fan of the films.

For your part, you feel somewhat frustrated. Your research has not proved as fruitful as you hoped; you have notes and files scattered all over the table as you try to come up with a plan prove the innocence of Lilita Morgan and expose the real culprits. But at the same time, you must respect Lilita’s wishes to keep her dealings with Ell secret for her sake.

 

Ell puzzles you. What is she up to? Why come back after all this time to harm Carmilla? Why use an innocent girl against her? Why is she threatening to take Hayley when she abandoned her as a baby? 

 

No one who knew Hayley would harm a hair on her head. No one with an ounce of humanity would try to take her away from her real mother. You think of your own mother and how it still hurts that she was taken away from you. You think about how broken hearted you’d be if you lost either of these two. It doesn't bear thinking about.

 

As you’re browsing through your emails, the address on one of them catches your attention.

 

_'truthspeaker@mymail.com'_

 

You had forgotten all about that one.  It went unanswered because firstly, you were so distracted by the ongoing scandal with the Prime Minister and secondly, you’ve learned from bitter experience that not all anonymous sources are reliable. But what if someone who had another piece of this puzzle? You’re getting desperate at this stage and can’t let the opportunity pass. Maybe, just maybe, this can lead you in the right direction and resolve once and resolve this once and for all.

 

* * *

 

_ From:  _ _ lhollis@channel3.com _ __

_ To:  _ _ trueteller@mymail.com _

 

_ Hey, Truth Speaker! _

 

_ I don't know who you are or what you are looking for, but I’m interested in what you have to say. I cannot promise that what you tell me will be published or released, but if you have the information I need, then it’s better that we meet in person. I want to know who you are and whether I can trust you. _

 

_ Meet me tomorrow morning at 10:00 in the Lustig. If you decide not to attend, I shall take it that you don't have anything important to say and that all this is all bullshit. _

 

_ Laura Hollis _

* * *

  
  


You close your laptop and catch a glimpse of the girls huddled against each other on the couch while sharing the same blanket. Hayley's eyes are wide open, probably from all the sugar consumption, but Sloan looks as if she’s struggling to stay awake. You sigh fondly before looking at the time on your mobile phone.  

 

It’s 9:47 pm and Carmilla still hasn’t contacted you.  You hesitate a little before calling her again, her phones still on voice mail. But even that reassures you, although it looks like you’ll have to look after your girls for the night. 

 

Your girls. It’s just so natural to think of them that way.

 

You send a last message to Carmilla and head into the living room to distract yourself a little bit from the whole affair. There's nothing better than watching Harry Potter with your daughters. 

 

Yes, your daughters.

 

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

 

It has been a busy, strange day, but you’re thrilled to have met your childhood best friend again. J.P. has changed very little except of course for the height and that bushy beard. But he’s still the same nerd that you remember. It’s the same connection that you developed with Laf, a bond that never broke despite all the years that passed.

 

On the other hand, the fact that your sister has followed him for months and possibly tried to kidnap him makes you sick to your stomach. How are you going to tackle Mattie about this? Damn it, you don't even know if you can continue to trust Mattie and that breaks your heart. You don't want to believe that Mattie knew of the accounts all along and never told you. 

  
  


You are now on your way back to Laura’s house. Once you and LaF left the forest and got a signal again, your phones went crazy with messages and missed calls from Laura and Perry.

 

Laura let you know that Hayley is at her house and you want to get there as soon as possible to find out how the interview with your mother went. But you don't know if you should reveal the information that J.P. shared with you. Although you trust Laura, her job as a journalist comes with certain obligations and you’re starting to wonder if it was such a good idea to send her to your mother. You can only hope so. The truth is that you also want to get to see the three people you love the most. Shit, you don’t really have a choice!

 

It is curious that despite the mountain of sent messages you’ve received, you don't feel persecuted or overwhelmed by someone wanting to know where you are.

 

There’s even one message wondering what time you’ll be 'home’ that makes you smile like a sap.  God, how you love the sound of that.

 

LaFontaine for their part looked like a kicked puppy on the journey back. You could almost imagine Curly Sue waiting at the door with curlers in her hair, a green face mask and a rolling pin in her hands waiting to scold her partner for staying out late. The image in your mind is so vivid that you can’t help giggling. When you share this with LaF, they punched you in the shoulder in protest at you mocking their wife. 

 

Just like old times.

 

But it did cheer them up and make them a little less worried, which made you happy too.

 

After picking up your car from Laf’s and driving to Laura’s, you check the time on your dashboard clock.

 

_ 11:38 p.m. _

 

Is it a good idea to arrive this late? You never agreed to Hayley sleeping over at Laura’s house, and you’d much prefer to pick her up now rather than come back in the morning. You tried texting her but got no response. She’s probably asleep by now. After a few minutes of doubt, you decide not to prolong the awkwardness and just call in.

 

You can see a light through the front room window, but there is no noise or movement that you can hear. So, you approach the front door and knock gently. When there’s no response, you try the door handle and find to your relief that it’s unlocked. You’ll have to talk to Laura about that.

 

When you enter the front room, you’re greeted with a truly wonderful sight. Your three treasures. Okay, you’ve obviously turned into a huge sap, but you don’t care anymore. Your three treasures are in the living room.

 

Your daughters are wrapped up in the same blanket. Hayley is curled up asleep and using Sloan as a pillow, and in return, Sloan has one of her arms wrapped around Hayley. You smile at the image. But your eyes immediately turn to the next armchair where Laura is asleep and curled up in a ball. You wonder if she’s cold because she doesn’t have a blanket covering her. The blond looks completely innocent, with her hands under her head and her lips parted slightly. She’s just as beautiful asleep as when she’s awake and what wouldn’t you give to wake up to that sight every morning.

 

You walk carefully across the room without making a sound, kneel cautiously beside the chair to push a tuft of hair behind her ear and caress her cheek gently. You don't want to wake her up just yet so you lean in slowly and tenderly kiss her forehead.

 

Laura smiles slightly as if she could feel that kiss even in her dreams, but doesn’t wake.

 

You roll your eyes fondly and kiss her on the cheek. Again, and again.  Laura slowly begins to regain consciousness when she feels your lips graze the corner of hers and beams when she sees you. Despite her sleepy eyes and messy bed head, she has never looked more beautiful.

 

"Hey," she whispers in a sleepy voice. 

 

"Hey," you whisper back so as not to wake the girls.

 

Laura begins to caress your cheek and already arriving ‘home’ is even better than you imagined.

 

"Carm, I'm not still dreaming, right?"

 

"No, I'm here. Nice to know that you’re dreaming about me though, cutie," you say with your flirtiest smile, causing Laura’s eye to widen and blush furiously.

 

"Well, it was a nice way to wake up," Laura says with a shy smile.

"Mmm. It took more attempts than I expected, Sleeping Beauty. I thought I was going to have resort to more drastic measures,” you reply with a suggestive smirk, leaving Laura with her mouth open.

 

"I'm still not fully awake you know?" 

Now it’s your turn to be surprised.

Laura reaches out with her other hand and pulls you toward her slowly, her gaze flicking between your eyes and your lips. You nod eagerly to let her know that you have no objections.

 

You close your eyes, and it is as if the world around you disappears. You can’t focus on anything else other than the faint vanilla and citrus scent of Laura, the feeling of her breath on your skin and then the softness of her lips against yours as she holds your face in her hands. You never want this moment to end.

 

Hayley chooses that moment to mutter something in her sleep which causes Laura and you to spring apart in a panic. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to kiss Laura while your daughters are sleeping in the same room. When your child cuddles closer to Sloan, she takes a sharp breath when she feels the movement, causing you and Laura to giggle helplessly. Laura manages to stifle hers by clamping her hands over her mouth.

 

"I think I better take Hayley home before she hugs Sloan to death,” you say, not wanting to leave at all.

 

There’s an awkward silence for a moment before Laura starts to babble.

 

"Oh. Uhm. I, I thought that, maybe, um, you would like, ah... you know… if you wanted to…." 

 

"Laura Hollis, are you're asking me to spend the night with you?" you tease while holding your chest in exaggerated shock.

 

Laura hits you on the arm playfully as she laughs trying to hide the fact that her cheeks were burning.

 

"Oh, my God, Carm!" she whisper-shouts as she shakes her head.

 

You laugh, but there are no words to describe the happiness that you feel to be finally ‘home.’

 

"Anyway, I think that girls will be more comfortable in Sloan’s room than on the couch,"

you say, and Laura nods in agreement.

 

You approach slowly trying not to wake either of your daughters, and you put your arms around Hayley to lift her. But when you do this, Sloan’s eyes shoot open.

 

"No, vampire, I won’t let you take her!" she shouts as she tries to hang onto Hayley. She’s still not quite awake as she swings her fists and tries to shield her eyes from the light in the room simultaneously.

 

"Sloan!" screams Laura, running over immediately to calm her daughter.

 

"Whoa! Steady on there, Van Helsing. There’s no need for the stakes. It’s only me.”

"Carm?"

"Hey, kiddo."

 

"You're not a vampire" mumbles Sloan.

"Hahaha. No, I’m not, but I’m glad you’re ready to defend Hayley if any try to take her. "

 

Laura laughs and picks up Sloan to take her to bed. You follow with Hayley who hasn’t woken up despite all the commotion. Maybe it’s just as well.

 

After tucking your respective daughters into bed and giving them a goodnight kiss, Laura and you go downstairs to the living room and sit on the couch facing each other. 

 

“So…” Laura begins.

 

“So…” you reply.

 

She doesn’t reply with words but takes your hand in hers, and there’s that warm, sappy feeling again that you only feel when you’re with her.  

 

"Carm?" she says tentatively while playing with your fingers.

 

"Yes, Cupcake?"

 

"What does this mean? What are we to each other?" 

_ Oh. _

You shouldn't be this nervous. You are an adult with a daughter, and you’re Carmilla Karnstein for fuck sake!

 

But seriously what does that even mean anymore? 

 

"I 'm sorry, Carm. I know that this is a bad time. It is stupid of me to question you with everything that is happening around us. Your mother, your siblings, and… your ex-wife. You have more important things to think about than a kiss. And perhaps it was just that, a kiss and nothing more, it doesn’t have to mean anything. But for me, yes, because I like you, I like you a lot and…"

 

There’s only one way to silence Laura. You grasp her cheeks and kiss her again. Her hands get tangled in your hair as she frantically pulls you closer again as try you try to convey everything you want to say with your kiss.

 

"Wow," she says with a huge smile when both of you run out of air. 

 

“Wow,” you repeat more softly as your foreheads rest against each other.

 

“So, you really like me too?" she says, giggling nervously.

You can’t help laughing. “You’re killing me, Hollis. I thought I was perfectly clear.”

"Well yes, but, uhm. The last time we talked, everything was a mess, and it still is. I know that we promised to wait out the storm, but honestly, every time we are together it is as if I'm attracted to you no matter how much I fight it. And I know that both we are still thinking about how this will affect our daughters, but I don't want to wait anymore. Carm. I want to be with you, and I was wondering if you want to…"

 

Laura seems to lose her nerve at that point as her gaze wanders away from yours and she begins pulling at the hem of her shirt. She looks so vulnerable and fragile after her confession. So, you take her chin in your hand and gently lift it so that she’s looking at you again.

 

"Laura Hollis, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?"

 

Laura blushes again as she bites her lower lip nervously, but she holds your gaze hopefully. Now that you’ve tasted those lips again, you never want to stop.

 

"Of course, I do, Laura," you reply with kisses that gradually become less PG-13.

 

"Really? Even with everything that’s happening?”

Of course, she wouldn’t be Laura, if she didn’t question everything. You’re finding it increasingly difficult to stop when you’re thinking about all the things you want to do with the blonde. But you remember what happened in Laf’s attic and take her seriously.

 

"Especially because of what’s happening, Cupcake. Life taught me that it was better not to expect anything from anyone because everyone lets you down in the end. Having no one was easier to accept than the fact that people always leave. My father, Ell, even my mother distanced herself from me. So, it was best not to let anyone in. Obviously, my siblings were at my side, but well, you know what I mean. I know that we still have to talk about a lot of stuff, but today I realized that no matter how strong I believe I am, I still need other people in my life. It’s those moments of chaos when I most need you, my friends, and my family. It’s is not that my commitment issues have vanished suddenly, but for once I want to take the chance, Laura. And I know that I don’t want to do it with anyone other than you. I need you, Cupcake, and I want you by my side. But I also want to be here for you."

 

Laura pulls you closer so that your head is resting on her chest. Her hands gently caress your scalp, and you sigh in contentment. Being on the same page as Laura is an out of this world experience that helps you forget all of life’s little disappointments and problems. So, you give yourself permission to enjoy these moments. To enjoy being in the arms of your girlfriend. As Laura kisses your forehead, you realize you can finally call her that.

 

"We’re going to work this out together, Carm." 

"Yes, together, Cupcake."

This is your first night sleeping in Laura’s arms. With any luck and with the help of your family (those related by blood and those you have chosen), it won’t be the last.

  
  


 

 

 

 

**Laura**

 

 

 

 

 

_ BEP. BEP. BEP. _

 

You’re uncertain if it’s you alarm ringing insistently or the growl you hear from beside you that wakes you up from the wonderful dream you were having. You and Carmilla were walking along the beach, and one of her arms was draped over your shoulders while your hand was on her waist. The sun was sinking into the ocean while both your daughters were running in and out the waves. It was obviously a dream as Austria is miles away from the ocean, but it felt so real.

 

When you open your eyes, you realize where you are.  Your head is resting on top of Carmilla’s chest, and there’s nothing that can contain your smile and the joy you feel. Carmilla is here, really here. 

 

As real as your stupid alarm that won’t shut up.

 

"Creampuff, please turn off that damn thing before I toss it out the window" groans Carmilla, without opening her eyes.

 

You get up to turn off the alarm but not before giving her a small kiss on the lips. You’re not going to pass up any chances to kiss your girlfriend. Carmilla doesn’t open her eyes, but her lips curl up in the cutest smile.

 

As usual, you have dozens of messages on your phone from your boss wondering how your investigation is going. 

 

Shit! 

 

Okay, don't panic.

 

After clearing your inbox of spam, there’s only one that attracts your attention.

 

* * *

  
  


From: _truthspeaker@mymail.com_

_ To:  _ _ lhollis@channel3.com _

  
  


_ I’ll be there Miss Hollis. Be prepared for what is coming. _

  
  
  


_ Truth Speaker. _

 

* * *

  
  
  
  


Oh! Okay.

 

"Come back to bed or have I already been replaced by your cell phone?"

 

Your girlfriend (yes, you’re going to call her that every chance you get) is leaning on her forearm staring at you in a way almost indecent way. 

 

Okay, it’s totally indecent.

 

"I think that after last night no battery device will ever replace you," you reply while you climb back into bed and attack her with kisses.

 

"Oooooh, I like the sound of that," she replies as she pulls you close. 

But before things can go any further, Carmilla’s phone starts ringing. Somehow, she manages to reach it on the bedside table even though you’re busy kissing and nibbling at her neck. It’s amazing how she turns to putty in your arms when you do that just there. 

 

It’s not the only area, but this is one of your favorites. 

 

"Karnstein here.”

 

_ "Come on, Carmilla. It’s time to wake up." _

 

"Mattie."

 

_ "Would you mind telling me where the hell you are? Actually, don’t! I can already imagine it.” _

 

"Okay Genius, how do you know I'm not sleeping soundly in my bed."

 

_ "Because I’m in your bedroom and your bed isn’t slept in. So, this genius knows that you’re entangled in someone else’s sheet’s." _

 

Carmilla stiffens, but she relaxes when she sees your concern.

 

"Is there any reason, apart from being a lousy sister, for waking me at this hour?"

 

_ "Thank you for confirming my suspicions. But I need you to get dressed immediately and meet me at the office. The Prime Minister is going to release a statement this afternoon and need I remind you that you still have work to do?" _

 

"Fine. But I need to sort out some stuff first."

 

_ "You have two hours." _

__ "Yeah, whatever. I’ll see you at the office." 

_ "Thank you." _

There is silence on the other side of the line.

 

_ " Millie... Ell will be present at the conference." _

 

Carmilla closes her eyes and his jaw tense instantly. 

“You’re just full of good news this morning. Anything else?”

_ "Just one little thing. Give my regards to Miss Hollis. Ta Ta, darling." _

  
  
  


Your girlfriend ends the call but not before sighing in annoyance. You’re sitting in her lap at this point gently stroking her jaw with one hand while massaging her neck and shoulders with the other. Carmilla breathes deeply, and you can see the worry in her eyes.

 

"Everything is going to be okay, Carm. We knew that this was going to happen sooner or later."

 

"I was hoping that it would happen later rather than sooner, Cupcake," replied Carmilla, trying to lighten the mood. You’re just thankful that she’s able to joke about meeting Ell after the way she treated her.

"Carm?"

 

"What is it, my sweet creampuff?"

 

You almost die. You knew Carmilla was a hopeless romantic from your date and your birthday party, but after last night you’re certain that she’s an even bigger softie than you are. 

 

"Carm, do you think we could talk to the girls about us?"

 

"I think as much as we try to hide it, our faces and actions will betray us."

 

 "I think you're right. There's no way I can keep my hands off you."

 

"Oh, that I realized last night."

 

At least now you can clear that smirk of your girlfriend’s face with a kiss or two and enjoy it now.

 

After a quick repeat of last night's activities, Carmilla and your head downstairs to make breakfast for your daughters. It’s ridiculous the way you’re in tune with each other while preparing the meal. Carmilla makes the pancakes while you prepare some strawberries for the topping. It feels so domestic and normal for both of you to do this, even though you both check the stairs before sharing a kiss. It’s true that you agreed to tell your daughters about your relationship this morning, but you’d rather they didn’t find the pair of you making out in the kitchen.

 

It is incredible that despite having spent a good part of the night in other ‘activities,' you still have enough more than enough energy to dance around the kitchen. Carmilla refuses to admit that you caught her humming to Taylor Swift a few times, but you know better.

 

While your girlfriend is flipping the pancakes on the stove, you can't help sneaking behind her and wrapping your arms around her waist while peppering her neck and shoulders with kisses. God, it feels so good!

 

"What’s going on here?"

 

_ Oh shit, your daughters! _

 

Sloan’s voice brings you back to your senses. This was the very thing you were trying to avoid, Hollis! 

 

"Wow! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! They are girlfriends!"

Thanks to the fact that you’re still hugging Carmilla, you can feel her shaking with laughter at Hayley’s reaction.

 

When both of you turned to face your daughters, you noticed Sloan didn’t look happy. Her arms are folded, and she’s leaning against the doorway regarding you and Carmilla with inquisitive eyes. Hayley, who’s wearing a t-shirt and jeans belonging to Sloan has a huge smile and is jumping around the kitchen with her arms raised in victory while constantly singing 'I knew it' and 'girlfriends, girlfriends.' But seriously, for someone so young, Sloan still looks intimidating.

 

"Breakfast is ready, and while we are having breakfast, we have something we want to tell you," Carmilla says. She maintains her composure, but there’s a little hint of pink in her cheeks. Your face feels like it’s burning and you can’t look Sloan in the eye just yet. 

 

Yet it still feels so natural for all four of you to be eating in the breakfast room together.  Eventually, Carmilla clears her throat to get Hayley and Sloan’s attention.

 

"Well, yes, we are girlfriends." 

"Carm!"

"What? We are!" she says as if it were the most normal thing in the world. 

 

"I knew it! I told you, Sloan!" squeals Hayley in delight while pointing a sticky maple syrup finger at her. Sloan doesn’t say anything, but her gaze has softened a little.

 

"Well, we want to talk to you because it is true, Carmilla and I are girlfriends, but I want to reassure both of you that nothing has to change between you, no matter what happens between Carm and I. Sloan, I know that this has been more of a surprise to you than Hayley but I want you to know that I love you and your well-being is my main concern. You are still my number one priority and always will be."

 

Sloan looks at both of you, still uncertain.

 

"Hey, Kiddo. I’m never going to interfere with your relationship with your mom. I know what it’s like to have someone new around your mother, but I want you to know that my intentions are serious. I…care for your mom, but also… uhm… Well, I also care for **you**. And I will never do something to come between you or Hayley. That is why we are going to take things slow. Now just because there’s a new type of relationship between Laura and me doesn’t mean that things will change overnight. We are going to continue getting to know each other, and we want to give ourselves a chance to see where this leads us."

 

Sloan leaves her fork beside her half-finished breakfast and stares at her lap. Her posture changes from anger to sadness in a second.

 

"Sloan, Honey, can you tell us what you think, please?"

 

"If this doesn't work out between you two, I'm going to have to stop seeing Hayley, and she’s my best friend."

 

There is a lump in your throat, and you rise from your seat to give her the reassuring hug she desperately needs. But Carmilla stops you with a hand and looks at you as if asking for permission to do it instead. When you nod, your girlfriend approaches your daughter.

 

"Hey, kiddo. Look at me. Hayley is always going to be your best friend. It doesn’t matter if your mom and I stay together or not. I will never take you from each other. She also loves you very much. Isn’t that right, little cupcake?"

 

The little blonde nodded so vigorously that you’re afraid she’ll give herself whiplash. Her cheeks are full of pancakes, but at least it seems that she trusts you and accepts your relationship.

 

"You promise?"  replies your daughter. 

 

"I promise," replies Carmilla sincerely and Sloan smiles shyly at her answer.

 

"Pinky swear!" demands Hayley. Maybe it’s a good idea not to give her so much sugar. And it must be bad if Laura Hollis is thinking along those lines. Carmilla and Sloan roll their eyes in unison at the blonde, but there’s no malice in it. Hayley looks so anxious that they give in anyway.

 

"I promise," says Carmilla solemnly when she wraps her little finger around Sloan’s. Sloan smiles a little more, and you breathe easy again. You didn't expect that reaction from your daughter, but you fall in love with Carmilla a little more when you see how well she handled it.

"Besides, I don’t think that we’ll be friends for much longer anyway,” says Hayley with a mout

h full of pancakes and strawberries, causing you Carmilla and Sloan to stare at her in shock.

 

"Hayley!" says your girlfriend, scolding her.

 

"What? We won’t be friends because you are going to get married, and Sloan and I will be sisters and live in the same house, and Bagheera will live with us, and we will adopt a dog, and then you’ll have another baby and Sloan and I will have a little brother, and we will be the older sisters," explains Hayley as if it was the most natural outcome. 

 

"Whoa. Get Married?" asks Carmilla, as scared as if she just met Voldemort in person.

 

"Hay, there’s plenty of time to think about that. We’ll take it step by step. Don’t marry us just yet,” you reply to Carmilla’s evident relief.

 

After breakfast and a few extra farewell kisses for both of them from you, Carmilla brings the girls to school because it’s closer to her house. This gives you plenty of time to prepare and head out to the Lustig.

 

You arrive a little before the appointed time, greet Mel and ask for a hot chocolate to calm your nerves. But you’re still smiling about the incredible events of the last twelve hours too.

 

You've almost finished half of the cup of hot chocolate when you hear someone clear their throat behind you. When you turn, you’re stunned to see someone that you haven’t met in person for years.

 

"Laura Hollis," he says with a smile

 

"J.P.! I haven’t seen you in ages! What are you doing here?"

 

"I am the truth speaker, Laura. My question is, are you ready to hear it?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well you're welcome!
> 
>  
> 
> In advance next chapter is going to be a roller coaster... so be prepared.
> 
>  
> 
> Uh, and yes, it will be all because of Ell. ;)
> 
>  
> 
> That Hollstein kisses bless you all until next Friday.


	24. Closures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After so many years, Carmilla meets Ell again. 
> 
> A press conference where everything is finally revealed.
> 
> Laura being totally hardcore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa! Here we are. 
> 
> So, technically this is the last chapter of this long long journey. Yes, there is still a last chapter that's the epilogue. So this here you go! 
> 
> As usual, Niall you're the best beta ever and thank you for all your hard work :) 
> 
>  
> 
> And you know, well, thank YOU so much for bear with me and my crazy writing mess. Please, let me know what you think of this kinda end ;)

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

"We have arrived at our destination. Please unfasten your seat belts and don't forget any of your hand luggage," you say, joking with Hayley and Sloan as soon as your car stops in front of their school. Your daughter gets a fit of giggles, and even Sloan smiles a little at your nonsense as she rolls her eyes playfully.

 

"Hey, hey, hey! You still have to pay for the trip," you cry when Hayley unbuckles her seatbelt and opens the car door to get out. Sloan seems to be at a loss as Hayley clambers onto your lap to kiss you repeatedly on the cheeks.

 

"It's your turn to pay, Sloan," Hayley says as she hops out of the car.

 

"It's okay, kiddo. Don’t worry about it."

Sloan seems to nod in relief, and although you’re a little disappointed, you know how awkward it is for her. Very few are as open and affectionate as Hayley. She opens her seat belt and alights from the back seat, but before climbing out, she stops. When she catches your eye, she steps forward and embraces you shyly, before kissing you gently on your cheek.

 

Your smile at this and the squee that comes from your daughter’s lips. In the rear-view mirror, you can see that her eyes are shining with happiness while she has both hands over her mouth in case Sloan hears her. She obviously doesn’t want to ruin the moment.

 

Before the girls walk away, there is a tapping at the passenger window behind you. When you turn, you notice Laf’s wife Perry signaling you to lower the window.

 

"Good morning, Carmilla," she says, as chipper as always.

 

"Curly Sue," you reply in your most apathetic tone.

 

"You can call me Perry, you know. Whatever,” she replies, frowning. “LaFontaine left in a hurry this morning, but they asked me to tell you that girls can stay with us this afternoon. They said that you were going to have a very stressful day and didn’t want you to worry about them."

 

Why couldn’t Laf tell you this? But you must admit it’s a good idea. In a few more hours you will have to face the ghost of your past, but at least you know the girls will be in good hands. Perry can be somewhat annoying about hygiene and cleanliness, not to mention her opinions on how children should be raised. But she has a heart of gold, and because she’s your best friend’s wife and one of Laura’s closest friends, you trust her completely.

 

"Thank you, Perry."

 

Perry seems surprised, but she also beams with happiness when you call her by her name.

 

You wave one last time to the girls and drive home.

 

After taking a much-needed bath (badly needed after last night’s activities with Laura and the repeat performance this morning); you sit for a moment on the edge of your bed. The two of you were so distracted with said activities and dealing with your daughters that neither of you spoke about the accounts and the interview with your mother. Did Laura get any information from her? Was it so incriminating that she daren’t share it with you? If so, then you have your daughter to consider. Perhaps it’s time, once and for all, to cut all ties with your mother for Hayley’s sake and your own.

 

However, you still don’t know what you’ll do if Mattie admits to trying to kidnap or harm JP to cover up your mother’s lies.

 

You open the drawer of your nightstand and remove the photo you hid there so many years ago. In the photo, you can see a little black-haired girl smiling from ear to ear. One of her arms is wrapped around the neck of a middle-aged man. Although he’s smiling too, you can see a touch of sadness in his eyes, even of nostalgia. His gaze is directed at the little girl in his arms. On the other side there is a woman, with the same skin tone and hair color as the child, but what makes them look even more identical is the perfect eyebrows that both have. The woman smiles as well, although in a more demure way. Her gaze is aimed somewhere between the child and the man as if she didn’t want to interrupt the moment between them. But one of her hands is supporting the girl on the man’s knee, while the other one lightly strokes the backs of the man’s hands as he holds the child.

 

After the departure of your father, you tried to forget him and anything to do with him. But in your darkest moments, you’ve often wondered what would have happened if he had stayed? How would he advise you? Would he be proud of what you have achieved in your life? Would he approve of your decisions? Or would he tap you on the head as he did when you were being disobedient and tell you, _You're a stubborn one, kiddo._

 

For the first time in your adult life, you weep for his departure.

 

“Please help me, Dad. I don't know what to do."

 

The words come out of your mouth before you can stop yourself.

 

"Give me a sign. I've never needed one so much. I feel lost. I don't know what to do. I know you loved her. You weren’t that good at lying. You loved her enough to have a family with her, so there must be good in her. Some of it must still be there. I love you, Dad. Help me to make the best decision, for my daughter and for me. I know that you’d love Hayley, Dad. I know that you’d adore her and spoil her rotten. For her sake, please guide me the right way."

 

You allow yourself to cry for a few more minutes before your cell phone starts ringing insistently. You wipe your tears away even though no one can see you. It helps you to feel in control and hopefully whoever it is won’t know you were crying like a baby.

 

It’s Mattie.

 

"Kitty, is everything okay? What’s wrong?" she asks before you get a chance to greet her. She sounds worried.

 

You don't know how it is possible that your sister knows that something is up; you think it might be that stupid connection you have always shared. Mattie was never the most affectionate sibling, but you know she loves you fiercely.

 

"Yeah. I’m just a little nervous, Mattie."

“I understand."

There is a brief silence before your sister continues.

 

"Carmilla, you know that if I could prevent this, I would. If I had known that Ell would be involved, I wouldn’t have asked for your help. I'm sorry."

 

"It’s okay, Mattie. This isn’t your fault. I know that I have to face my demons and now is as good a time as any."

 

"Well, good. We’re all waiting for you. Ian is here, and the media are beginning to arrive already. It’s pure chaos, and I haven't even been able to speak with Vordenberg or contact Mother yet."

 

"Don’t worry, I’m nearly ready, and I’ll be there shortly. And Mattie? Keep trying to reach of Vordenberg. We need to know what he’s going to say at this conference."

 

"I know. I’ll keep trying. I see you in a few minutes, Bella."

 

You end the call with your sister and take a last look at the photo in your hands. In the background, there’s a lake, and you can just about make out the figure of a little boy standing beside it.

 

J.P.! He is the only one who can settle this once and for all.

 

You try to phone Laf, but the call goes immediately to voicemail. You’re running out of time anyway, so you get dressed to meet Mattie and aid her as best as you can. You’ll just have to try again on the way.

 

When you park outside Vordenberg’s campaign headquarters, you can see the dozens of media trucks from all over Europe in the parking lot. All of them have at least three reporters, and some of them are already doing live links, even though the conference won’t be starting for a while. Hesitantly, you leave your car to make your way inside, but dozens of reporters and photographers spot you and block your path. You’re surrounded and dazzled by all the camera flashes.

 

Eventually, you feel a hand on your forearm that guides you toward the building. There’s a voice that repeats itself over and over saying 'we have no comment to make’ and ‘we will issue a statement at the press conference.’ It doesn’t stop the recurring questions.

 

_What do you know about the accounts in your mother’s name Ms. Karnstein?_

 

_Is it true that your Mother is facing charges about these accounts?_

 

_Will your sister represent your mother in court or is it true that she’s under investigation too?_

 

That last question pisses you off because even if you uncertain whether your mother is innocent or not, those journalists are already treating her as if she’s guilty.

 

As soon as you step inside the building and leave them behind, you realize for the first time who saved you from the journalists. Will smiles at you and winks. You’re so overjoyed to see him that you throw yourself into his arms and embrace him tightly. He’s so surprised that he has to take a few steps back in case both of you fall, but he doesn’t let go and hugs you with equal fervor.

 

"Well, isn’t that just precious! Both of you look like fearful little kittens afraid of their own shadows."

 

That voice.

 

You still recognize it despite not having heard it for ages. After the first year, you’d forgotten what it sounded like.  But not only do you remember that hateful voice again, you remember all the bad memories associated with it.

 

When you turn to face them, the first thing you notice is the penetrating cold blue eyes. She’s even more beautiful than you remember, but her false smile sends a shiver down your spine.

 

"Ell."

 

You speak her name as if it were something that not just leaves a bad taste in your mouth, but as if it were poisonous.

 

"My dear Carmilla. You have no idea how pleased I am to see you, sweetheart. Although I had thought that I would receive a better welcome."

 

"Ell…" begins your brother in a warning tone. But you put your hand on his shoulder to stop him.

 

"I can't say the same, Ell. And you’re not welcome."

 

Ell just rolls her eyes and crosses her arms petulantly.

 

"Carmilla, Carmilla; always so bitter. You shouldn’t bear such grudges, dear. It is the only thing that you have done for so many years. Always hating your father, your mother, even me, your wife. It’s not healthy.”

 

"You are not my wife!"

 

Now everyone’s eyes are on the three of you, and you notice that Ell looks smug instead of embarrassed.

 

"Oh, yes! How could I forget? Who would have thought that your mother would go so far?"

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

"To separate us, silly. Lilita never wanted our marriage to succeed, and she finally got what she wanted.”

 

On seeing your confusion, Ell's smile grows bigger and more hateful.

 

"Oh, my God, you didn’t know! My dear Carmilla, I can see that you are still that same scared little girl. Do you seriously think that Mattie was the one that pushed through our divorce? She’s good, but she’s not _that_ good. Lilita was the only one with sufficient clout to ensure that it was rushed through in a couple of days."

 

You want to scream and yell at her, or even slap her across the face. But you choose to be the bigger person for now. Besides, you have no way of refuting her words. Is it true what she says? Was it your mother who arranged your divorce? Why would she have you believe that it was your sister who did it?

 

"Although I must admit that after what she did, I’m not surprised at the divorce."

 

"What are you talking about now, Ell?"

 

Ell just smiles. How could you have ever have felt anything for this woman?  Now you know that it was never love. Lately, you know exactly what love feels like. It fills you with joy and hope; it’s in the very air you breathe when you see her. Your heart feels like it’s going to burst because it cannot contain the happiness you feel around her. Even thinking her name sends a thrill through you.

 

Laura.

 

"Oh, it’s nothing. Forget what I said. I need to finish the Prime Minister’s speech, and I require your people to make some changes to the election posters that are being prepared this evening after the conference. We need to change the campaign slogan to 'Vordenberg: Truth and Justice.' So, I want you to prepare the changes immediately. When you’re finished, get Theo to approve them.”

 

You swear everyone in the room must hear your teeth grinding at this point. Somehow, you refrain from punching her. It’s just impossible to process that you have to answer to this woman after everything she did.

 

Satisfied, Ell turns to leave, but stops and walks back to you. She steps dangerously close, and your nails are embedded in your palms at this point.

 

"Just one last thing, Carmilla. I need you, Will and Mattie to take the seats I’ve reserved for you at the front when we hold this conference. Because believe me, you won't want to miss the show."

 

 

 

 

  


**Laura**

 

 

 

 

J.P.’s story is like something out of a spy movie wrapped up in a soap opera. How is it possible that Ell has gone to such lengths to ruin Carmilla’s life? How could someone be so vile as to wish such harm on her?  Your girlfriend is like a fluffy, cute and adorable kitten that doesn't make you feel anything other than wanting to love and protect for the rest of your life.

 

God! You have it bad, Hollis. As if they can read your mind, Laf is not impressed.

 

"Laura, focus! We have to reveal all this and protect Jeep at the same time.”

 

They arrived a few minutes after J.P. wearing dark glasses and a trench coat. They might as well have worn a sign that stated _I have something to hide_.

 

It also doesn’t help that they blatantly keep looking around them every few minutes. Of course, Mel spotted them almost immediately, and when she called out their name, Laf engaged in some very dramatic shushing. But it seems the sweet old ladies and the Zetas struggling with _Beowulf_ haven’t the slightest intention of caring what Laf does. If anything, they blatantly ignore the three of you, obviously not interested in getting involved.

 

But you also know that in spite of their concern for J.P.’s safety, your friend is enjoying themselves a little too much with what they’ve deemed Project LOPHI (Laf’s Operation to Hide and Protect the Innocent). Apparantly a ‘lophi’ is a type of anglerfish or something equally weird.

 

You don’t even want to think about how much time they’ve invested in coming up with that name.  

 

"Of course! If what you say is true J.P. and don't get me wrong, I don’t think you’re making this up, but I need something more than your word to corroborate the story."

 

"That’s no problem, Ms. Hollis because when I left the bank, I took copies of all the relevant transfer records that were authorized by my boss. As I said before, the accounts did not have a specific name, but it would be no problem to confirm that they’re the same ones that they’re trying to blame Ms. Morgan for because the amounts are identical in each one.”

 

This is incredible. This is also going to be the biggest story of your career. Even better, you’ll be helping Carmilla and proving her mother’s innocence. Once and for all, you will free the Karnsteins from the unscrupulous claws of Estelle von Habsburg.

 

"J.P. We need this information now. Vordenberg is holding his press conference this afternoon, and I am certain that his new spin doctor is going to name Lilita as the one responsible for the embezzlement."

 

"Lilita, uh? Already calling the mother-in-law by her first name, Hollis?" says Laf with that ridiculous eyebrow waggle they do. But you still can’t help blushing at the insinuation.

 

"That's not… I'm not… I was… Laf!"

 

"Relax, Laura, I’m kidding. But I’m still going to be first in line when you’re handing out the wedding invites.”

 

"Oh, shut up!"

LaFontaine and J.P. just laugh at your embarrassment.

 

Despite being involved in a political scandal and making sure J.P. is kept safe, the scene makes you remember old times. Together, in the same cafeteria; drinking coffee (hot chocolate for you of course), while all of you all try to cram a year’s study into two weeks. Almost like the Zetas bros are doing.

 

You’re distracted from your reverie when your phone starts to ring.

 

It’s Sophia, your boss.

 

"Laura. Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you all weekend. The board is not pleased with your lack of progress in the investigation, and they’ve also been informed that the Prime Minister has barred you from attending this afternoon’s press conference.”

 

"What? He can’t do that, Sophia!"

 

"He can, and he has, Laura. I don't have the details, but everything indicates that Estelle von Habsburg is behind this. She even agreed to give Betty an exclusive interview with Vordenberg as long as we drop from covering the campaign."

 

"Sophia, I know that I haven’t provided the expected results yet, but I can guarantee that I’m working on information shows Lilita Morgan is innocent and also prove Vordenberg’s guilt.”

 

"Laura, I need more than that to convince the board. If we don’t have cast-iron proof, they’ll accuse us of fabricating the evidence, and it will be the end of Channel 3. As I already said, Ell will provide an exclusive interview to Betty as long as you don’t show up. This is great, Laura; I am almost convinced that their statements will bring Lilita Morgan down."

 

It’s understandable what your boss says. Mercenary, but understandable. You can't just accuse the Prime Minister on J.P.’s word alone. That is to say, you believe your friend, but no one else knows who he is. If you can’t provide some other proof to back up your story, then you’ll be accused of defaming Vordenberg and also giving Ell more time to prepare a counter attack.

 

You ask Sophia to hang on for a minute and put her on hold.

 

"J.P. I want you to know that your safety is my top priority but we need to see this through to the end. I know that you've spent the last few months living in uncertainty and fear, but I need more.  I _‘_ m not asking this because of what it’ll do for my career; I’m begging you for my girlfriend and her family’s sake. Are you willing to testify against the bank, the Prime Minister and everyone else involved? Not just today in front of the media, but to take the stand in court?"

 

"Anything to help Millie, Ms. Hollis," says J.P. emphatically.

 

The confusion must be evident on your face when you hear the name.

 

"He means Carmilla, and that’s a story for another time, Laura,” says Laf impatiently.

 

They’re right, one way or the other, you’re going to pester J.P. until he reveals how he knows your girlfriend and why he calls her that little pet name.

 

You nod in response to J.P. and resume speaking to your boss.

 

"Sophia? I have a key witness that can confirm the information I have and is also willing to testify against the culprits when it comes to court,”"

 

"Oh, my God! Laura, you are magnificent! I don't know how that’ll help you though to get into the conference, but we have to follow this up and Betty could…"

 

"No! Sophia, I don’t need Betty or the board of Channel 3 finding out about this. I don’t want it leaked to the Vordenberg team; we need to catch them by surprise. But don’t worry about me getting into the conference; I know someone on the campaign team that’ll get me in."

 

"Oh, yes! How could I have forgotten? I think you know her very well. If I recall correctly, Carmilla Karnstein is head over heels in love with you."

 

"What? What makes you think that?"

 

"Laura, I was at your birthday party remember? That woman had eyes for no one else except you. It’s obvious that she’s in love with you.”

 

In love? Well, Carmilla is your girlfriend now, of course. There are definitely some romantic feelings there. But your relationship is only a few hours old, and it’s a bit soon to say that what you feel for each other is love. Isn’t it?

 

"Oh! Don’t Tell me you never noticed, Laura?"

 

"Uhm…"

 

"Whatever. Look, Laura, I can’t do much from here, but I could delay the live feed until you get in. The interview won’t be until after the conference anyway. But you have to be there before Vordenberg leaves the building."

 

"Thank you, Sophia, you’re the best! I’m heading there now." 

 

You end the call with your boss and turn to your friends.

 

"J.P., Laf, we have to do this now. We're going to save Lilith Morgan in the name of justice!"

 

"Hollis, you really are a nerd," Laf says with a mocking smile while J.P. laughs gently.

 

LaF agrees to return to the cabin and retrieve all the information about the accounts. Meanwhile, J.P. and you prepare for possibly the scariest confrontation you’re ever likely to experience.

 

Despite your nervousness, at least you know your daughters are in good hands. Laf let you know earlier that Perry will take care of them until everything is over. After hearing that conversation between Ell and Lilita, you can't help but feel thankful for the gesture. Maybe it is better to take the appropriate measures, at least for today.

 

It’s a silent drive to Vordenberg's campaign headquarters. It’s not exactly uncomfortable, but you’re thinking about the consequences of this decision. The only thing you can hope for is that you arrive on time and that LaFontaine can return with the information to put an end to this hell. You must clear Lilita’s name, denounce the real culprits and make sure that Ell leaves Carmilla’s life for good this time

 

It's now or never, Laura.

 

 

 

 

 

**Carmilla**

 

 

 

 

It’s only a few minutes until Vordenberg’s press conference. However, his campaign team and Ell have restricted all access to him, and neither you nor Mattie have been able to talk to him. You have no idea what he will say in his speech, and you’ve barely spoken to Mattie because she’s been trying to reach Vordenberg and your mother.

 

Your nerves are shattered. You can’t get in touch with your mother either, and that only makes her look guiltier.

 

Most of the journalists have arrived and are taking their places. Theo approves the alterations you've made to the election posters and content. Now they bear a photo of a smiling Vordenberg with his right hand over his heart and his left hand extended to the viewer as if he’s offering to shake their hand. The new slogan says 'Vordenberg: Truth and Justice' as Ell demanded earlier. The presentation makes you want to puke.  He looks like a sex offender inviting the voter into an abandoned house on the outskirts of the city.

 

From what you’ve seen in politics so far, every word is twisted and warped from its true meaning. The more corrupt you are, the more likely you are to win. You just want this nightmare to end.

 

"By the way, Carmilla,” says Theo “we need your photographer for a quick photo session. Channel 3 has an exclusive interview with the Prime Minister, and we need to prepare a photo shoot with the reporter who’s doing it.”

 

Oh crap! Channel 3 where Laura works.

 

Laura, who was responsible for breaking this story originally and the one who was responsible for investigating the accounts and their links to your mother.

 

Laura, the woman with whom you’re deeply in love.

 

Wait! What? This is not the time, Carmilla, you will have time to sort out your feelings later. You hope.

 

"No problem, our photographer can do the photos, I would prefer to speak with the journalist though, regarding the best way to…"

 

"That won’t be necessary. Miss Spielsdorf is already in the adjacent lounge with the Prime Minister. Just send in the photographer, and we’ll organize everything else."

 

Who the hell is Spielsdorf? Why isn't Laura doing this interview?

 

"Theo, did you say Channel 3?"

 

Theo rolls his eyes impatiently.

 

"Yes, we’ve arranged an exclusive with Channel 3, and Betty Spielsdorf is their top reporter."

 

 _Yeah, right_ you think, but you keep your own counsel. There’s no point in making an enemy of Theo Straka at this stage. Especially as he seems so close to Ell anyway.

 

Ever since you arrived, you’ve seen the way Ell bosses him around and treats him like a lap dog. Just like she used to do to you. Complaining and controlling at the same time. For a moment, you feel some empathy for him. Looking around the room, you find your photographer and ask him to follow Theo’s instructions.

 

Where the hell is Laura anyway? Why isn’t she the one doing this interview? Ell will just charm, manipulate and cajole every journalist in the room. Laura needs to be there; she’d be the only one who wouldn’t fall for Ell’s bullshit. You grab your phone from your pocket, and your fingers shake as you dial her number. She answers after only one ring.

 

"Carm?"

 

"Laura! Where are you? I thought that you were responsible for covering Vordenberg’s campaign.”

 

"I was. I still am. Hold... …accounts… J… we… ."

 

"Laura?"

 

"… car… wait… your mother is… Laf… you’re breaking up…”

 

The call is cut off unexpectedly. Damn it! What was she trying to tell you? Where the hell is she? Why isn’t she here?

 

There are only a few minutes to go to the press conference, and you’re all out of ideas. But then you remember the conversation you had at the weekend with Laf and J.P. J.P.! You need him, but he never gave you his number. Laf is the only one who has it. However, when you dial their number, it was diverted to their answering service. Damn it! You’re clenching your phone so tightly at this point that your hand hurts. If you weren’t surrounded by so many people, you’d fling the stupid thing out the nearest window.

 

"Kitty, it’s time,” says Will

 

He takes you by the arm, and you finally meet Mattie again.  

 

In all the time you’ve known her, she has never looked so furious. Even the time she took your parent’s car without permission to drive you into town because you begged her to buy some comic books that you wanted pales in comparison. Somehow, she managed to crash it into a tree. Even after that, her first instinct had been to check you all over to see if you were hurt, although she had hit her head and the blood was flowing from her forehead. But she had still got out of of the car immediately to hug you and calm your terror.

 

Even in the worst of times, Mattie has always been a hero to you. The driven woman that is afraid of nothing and prepared for anything. She looks resigned to losing this fight.

 

The three of you take your designated seats at the front of the room. The stage is decorated with a huge red banner with a white stripe as a background representing the colors of Vordenberg’s party. It’s a blatantly political move to connect with voters through the colors of the flag. At the front, there is just a podium with a microphone. There are smaller banners hung around the room with the slogan _Vote for Vordenberg._ The whole scene makes you want to vomit. How could you and family have got involved in such a fiasco?

 

Theo takes the stage and begins to speak.

 

"Thank you all for coming. We have organized things a little differently as we I’m sure none of us want to see a repeat of the events from last time, am I right?”

 

Most of the journalists just laugh, and you feel the anger growing within you. You’re furious at his referral to the incident between Mattie and Laura and the way her so-called colleagues laugh at Laura.

 

"The Prime Minister will read a prepared statement, and there will be no question and answer session. All of you will receive a digital and print copy afterward. Then you may coordinate all future interviews directly with me. Once again, thank you all for coming. I leave you now with the Prime Minister, Cornelius Vordenberg."

 

Vordenberg arrives on stage to the sound of music that sounds like a cheap version of ‘The Imperial March.' It’s ludicrous, but not quite as bad as the balloons and confetti that falls from the ceiling. There are cameras flashing everywhere at the sheer spectacle of it. Some of the journalists have even begun to applaud.

 

From your position, you have a perfect view of Ell and Theo standing to one side of the stage. They’re talking among themselves, very pleased with the reaction so far.

 

"Good afternoon to everyone here, and to all watching this from the comfort of their homes in this great country and around the world. It is an honor and privilege to address you."

 

The man looks nervous but doesn’t stop smiling. That’s obviously Ell’s influence; she’s an expert at hiding her true feelings and making people believe what she wants them to believe.

 

"For the last few months, my name and the name of my party have been denigrated by a group of opponents to my campaign. Some fake news outlets and pseudo-journalists claiming to seek the truth, when in fact all they have done is to create an environment of insecurity and panic in the country, have dared to infer that I have abused my position as Prime Minister. They have accused me of raiding public money for my own enrichment. This is an outrageous slander to the Vordenberg name and the long tradition of public service the Vordenberg family have given to the most disadvantaged in this country.”

 

“The only error I have committed has been to trust a person that I thought shared the same principles of public service as I did. For years, Lilita Morgan and I have worked together, and I always thought she was working for the benefit of this great nation. Apparently, Ms. Morgan only saw a way to take advantage of my trust in her.”

 

“Despite our long-standing partnership, I regret that I must issue the following statement about her true motives. But no one can be above the law in this country. I must put truth, justice and the well-being of all our citizens before our friendship.”

 

“The team I appointed to investigate this case has found that Ms. Morgan was responsible for diverting public money to non-resident accounts controlled by her. She abused my trust, the trust of the workers who work tirelessly to serve this nation and the trust of every right-thinking person in our country. This will not go unpunished, and I trust our justice system to do the correct thing and jail her for the rest of her life.”

 

The entire room is murmuring in shock. You can feel their eyes on you, but you refuse to turn around. Will keeps his eyes on Vordenberg and Mattie tries to call your mother. Like all her calls today, that one fails too.

 

"All relevant information has been forwarded to the Office of the Public Prosecutor. This is a source of great personal pain to me, but as a citizen of this country, Lilita Morgan has not only failed me as a friend. She has failed all of you.”

 

“We must not forget that what made our homeland great was the struggle faced by our ancestors, always for the greater good, no matter what the consequences. Today, we must honor those same sacrifices and ensure my re-election so that we continue the never-ending fight against the enemies of Austria. For truth and justice!"

 

There’s a group of handpicked sympathetic journalists that applaud all the nonsense he spews out. But you have no time to focus on them. Vordenberg has just destroyed your mother’s reputation and directed the courts to find her guilty. And it looks like he’s going to get away with it. There’s no coming back from this.

 

Things couldn’t possibly get any worse.

 

"With the understanding that the evidence against her is incontestable, I have reached out to Ms. Morgan and pleaded with her to surrender peacefully and give her full cooperation to the authorities. Fortunately for her, Miss Morgan has agreed to this, and they have allowed her to attend this afternoon to issue her own statement."

 

Time seems to slow; once again cameras’ flash as you see your mother enter by a side door and stand behind Vordenberg. She’s nearly unrecognizable. Judging by the black circles under her eyes, she hasn’t slept in days, and she’s fidgeting nervously with the cuffs of her suit. She’s holding some sheets of paper that you assume is her speech.  She looks broken as she walks to the podium.

 

"Good afternoon, everyone," says a Lilita Morgan you’ve never heard before. Her voice is barely a thread and breaks at the end of the statement.

 

You want to believe that this is all a bad dream, a nightmare that you have yet to awaken from. You want to believe that you’re still in Laura’s home, asleep in her arms or that you will wake up under your chestnut tree while she whispers tenderly in your ear that everything is okay and that she would never leave you.

 

"This will be the only statement that I issue to the media. After today, I will let justice take its course. I, Lilita Morgan…"

 

"Lilita, no!"

 

A door crashes open at the rear of the room, and the place explodes in pandemonium as people leap to their feet trying to see what’s happening. All camera’s turn away from your mother to focus on the person shouting.  Even though they’re blocking your view, it doesn’t matter. You’d know that sweet voice anywhere.

 

"Let go! Let go of me! Lilita, don't say another word! We’re here!"

 

Your mother stays silent and looks hopeful for the first time. Will and you leap from your seats when you see Laura struggling with a couple of security guards. One of them collapses when Laura punches him in the throat, but the second one is almost two meters tall and nearly as wide. He manages to restrain her by holding her around the waist, but Laura continues to fight, and it looks like the gorilla holding her is having a hard time.

 

"Let her go, you idiot! If you harm her, I’ll kill you!"

 

Your hands reach for his throat or try to do anyway, given that you’re about one inch taller than Laura. It doesn’t stop you trying anyway, and in a matter of seconds, Will is by your side doing his best to help. All eyes and cameras are on the four of you at this point.

 

Ell has taken your mother’s place on the podium, and she’s smiling triumphantly as if she planned this all along. She nods abruptly to the security guard who gladly releases Laura. But she’s still struggling and almost falls flat on her face when he lets her go. But luckily, you catch her and hold her upright.

 

"You know how to make an entrance, Miss Hollis,” said Ell with a sneer. “I’m surprised though to see you here considering that you are not authorized to attend this conference.”

 

Laura is not intimidated in the slightest by your ex-wife. If anything, she looks like more someone that wants to drive a stake through Ell, and you’d pay good money to see that happen. Laura gently removes your arms from her waist where you’re still supporting her, and she walks through the reporters, towards the podium.

"I see you've gone to great lengths to keep me away, Ell. I’m flattered that you’re so afraid of me.”

 

This is probably the wrong place and time, but this new dominant side to Laura kind of turns you on.

 

Ell continues to sneer at your girlfriend.

 

"Every word spoken by the Prime Minister this afternoon has been a lie,” says Laura as she advances toward Ell, never looking away. “And I can prove it. I have access to all the evidence necessary to prove the innocence of Lilita Morgan and the economic treachery of Cornelius Vordenberg.”

 

"Miss Hollis, this is pathetic. You’re so dramatic and such an attention seeker. The Prime Minister has already explained everything in his statement, but I’m sure you won’t mind providing all of us with proof of these slanderous statements. You do have this evidence I assume?” replied Ell, raising one of her perfect eyebrows.

 

"Evidence? Of course! Yes! The evidence proving the innocence of Lilith. That evidence! Well… Uh..."

 

Laura’s voice has gone about two octaves higher than normal, and she looks nervously around her. The other journalist’s mood is beginning to shift from curiosity to contempt.

 

"The proof is on its way Ms. von Habsburg, and will be here presently," says a familiar, welcome voice.

 

Ell is completely flummoxed at the interruption as J.P. steps through the crowd and stands beside Laura. Like Laura, he’s confident, assertive and his gaze is somewhat challenging. In the few memories you have of your friend, you have never seen him like this. He was quiet and reserved and found it hard to even look people in the eye when he spoke to them. Now he’s defying not only Ell but the whole room.

 

"Excuse me, but I don't believe we’ve been introduced, Mr. …?" questions Ell.

 

"My name is Jean Paul Armitage."

 

Ell's eyes widen, and her bottom lip quivers a little. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen her look nervous and intimidated. In the meantime, Mattie has joined you and Will.

 

"Carmilla, it’s J.P.!” Mattie says.

 

You nod and shush her because you don’t want to miss a moment of this.

 

"Up to a few months ago, I worked at the Central Bank of Austria. My position in that organization allowed me to monitor and approve foreign exchange transfers to non-resident accounts. The evidence that Miss Hollis speaks of indicates that those amounts which were supposedly under the name of Lilith Morgan, were fake accounts created in her name and money was transferred from Austria to them without my authorization. I can prove that these accounts were set up to commit fraud and that every transfer comes from the pension funds. These transfers were sanctioned by the Prime Minister and signed off by one other person.”

 

“That man was my boss, who is none other than Karl Julius von Habsburg."

 

Suddenly, you can’t breathe. Your mother is innocent! When you turn towards Ell, she looks like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.

 

Vordenberg rises to his feet and begins to shout incoherently that everything you just heard is lies and calumnies against his honor. But he’s drowned out by the journalists who begin shouting questions at J.P. and Laura.

 

Your mother is stunned, but her gaze becomes warm when she catches Laura’s eye. She mouths a silent thank you to her as her eyes begin to fill with tears. When you turn to Laura, she just shrugs and nods to your mother. Your girlfriend doesn’t even seem to realize how hardcore she’s been this afternoon.

 

Wait, when did your mother and Laura become such fast friends?

 

Amid all the chaos, Ell recomposes herself and takes the microphone again.

 

"I’d be very careful with accusing my father and the Prime Minister of colluding to defraud the taxpayer. May I remind all of you that we still haven’t seen a shred of evidence?  If you have proof, then where is it?"

 

"Here!"

 

You will Laf’s voice before you see them enter the room carrying some boxes that are full of documents, files, and several hard drives. They stride through the hall to join J.P. and Laura, and although they’re obviously enjoying the drama of the moment, they still catch your eye and smile encouragingly when they pass.

 

When they reach the podium, they dropped the boxes directly in front of Ell. The sound reverberates through the hall, and you imagine that it’s not only from the weight of the materials inside but also the gravity of what they contain.

 

"This is everything that J.P. managed to save from the bank before your henchmen started following him and making him fear for his life.”

 

"Oh, my God! That was me," Mattie whispers into your ear. ‘I didn’t recognize him. Mother asked me to find anyone who could corroborate her story from the Central Bank and offer them protection. Now I understand.”

 

You nod to Mattie, and you're feeling more than a little relieved. Your sister wasn’t trying to hurt J.P.  On the contrary, she was trying to save him from Ell’s father and Vordenberg.

 

"Oh! And Ell? Don't bother trying to destroy the documents. Because in addition to that, they’ve all been backed up to the cloud and copies have been sent to the State Prosecutor’s office."

 

"No! This can't be happening! They’re all fakes! And I know very well who’s behind it!

It’s you, Carmilla!" says Ell in a rage, pointing accusingly at you.

 

Everyone’s eyes are on you now, and the media begin throwing questions in your direction. For a moment you panic, but you relax when you feel your brother take your hand, letting you know that he is with you, supporting you always. Mattie is there too, giving you a reassuring side hug. You’re going to be okay. You have your family on your side. Even your mother smiles at you but shakes her head to warn you not to respond to Ell.

 

"Of course, it all makes sense now. It had to be Carmilla Karnstein. I don’t believe any of you gathered here today realize that Carmilla used to be my wife."

 

There is more uproar in the room. At this stage, you feel as if you're in a   three-ring circus where each act is seeking out-do the previous one, all to make the audience applaud and cheer like idiots.

 

"I wouldn’t be surprised if you orchestrated all this with your mother to frame my father. Lilita always hated me and tried to break up us up. Do you want to know what’s really going on? Well, I’m going to tell you.”

 

“What the hell are you raving about, Ell?”

 

"Carmilla, your mother was the one who fixed things to make our divorce legal." 

 

"Don’t be ridiculous. It was Mattie. You’re making an idiot of yourself."

 

"Ha! That’s what she wanted you to believe, Carmilla. Poor little Carmilla, always playing by her rules without even knowing it," Ell responds mockingly.

 

"And that’s not all,” she continues. “Your mother paid me to leave you. Open your eyes! You live in a world of lies. Nobody here loves you like I do! That is why your father abandoned you, that's why your mother was never around. Did you think that having a daughter would give you the family you craved? After today, you won’t even have that!"

 

Your blood boils with every word she speaks, yet your cheeks are wet with your tears. Was she always like this?  But she has dared to threaten your family and take your daughter away from you. That’s not happening; you’ll tear her throat out first. No one is going to take Hayley from you.

 

Before you can react, there is a scuffle on stage that draws everyone’s attention

 

"Enough, Ell!" shouts Theo with more bravery than you thought he was capable of. He tries to take the microphone away from Ell, but she slaps his hand away.

 

"Shut up, Theo! You have nothing to say here."

 

"No! I'm warning you. I will not let you continue to attack this family with your lies."

 

"Oh, you want to tell the truth instead. You want it all out there for everyone to know," Ell replies venomously.

 

Theo, for his part he closes his eyes and clenches his fists. As you watch, a single tear falls rolling slowly down his face.

 

But when he opens his eyes, his pained looked is replaced by one of determination.

 

"You're right, Ell. It is time to tell the truth," he states. This time, he’s successful in taking the microphone from Ell.

 

"As many of you know, Ell and I got married two years ago."

 

What? When you look around, a lot of the journalists look as stunned as you do.

 

"Ell and I met when she worked for my father in Greece. As you know, my father’s personal reputation has always been above reproach. However, Ell found me in a compromising situation and threatened to ruin our family’s name unless I married her. As my father was running for the leadership of the main conservative party in Greece, news that his son was in a relationship with one his colleagues would ruin him.  Especially as that colleague was a married man. I…I'm gay."

 

This must be the mother lode for the journalists. Every revelation provides an endless source of headlines, each one more unexpected than the last. Cameras are flashing everywhere, and questions you can no longer hear are being flung around the room.

 

Theo’s statement has made you forget the reason this conference was arranged in the first place. Until you turn your attention to Ell again.

 

For the first time ever, Ell looks helpless and completely frustrated. Every one of her plans has failed, all her traps have been uncovered, and she has nothing left. Her true character has been revealed for everyone to see in this room, but also to the whole country and beyond.

 

She’s ruined. Her career has been destroyed.

 

Even though you’re overwhelmed by everything you’ve learned this afternoon and by the love and support of everyone that helped you through this, you can finally relax.

 

Your mother is not guilty of the crimes that she was accused of.

 

Ell’s father and Vordenberg will pay for their crimes.

 

You don't have to continue with the electoral campaign, and your life will return to normal.

 

Before you know it, Ell is shoving her way through the crowd towards you. But before she gets too close, Will and Mattie step forward and block her approach.

 

It doesn’t stop Ell screaming at you.

 

"This isn't over, Carmilla. You may have ruined my father and destroyed my life, but I swear you’ll never have a moment's peace again. I'm going to make your life hell! I'm not going to rest until I take everything from you and you kill yourself in despair! And I’m going to hit you where it hurts! Our daughter!"

 

"Hayley is not your daughter! And Oh! I think you better turn and walk away from Carm if you know what’s good for you," says Laura from behind her.

"And who’s going to make me? You? Don't make me laugh!" says Ell mockingly.

 

"No, not just me. So will the law. And do you know why Ell? Throughout my career, I have always focused on finding the truth and letting justice prevail. I’ve always done things the right way. This time is no different! You’ve just threatened Carm on camera, and soon everyone is going to know about it. And as you’re fully aware, that is not just sufficient evidence to request a restraining order, it’s a crime.”

 

You can see LaFontaine holding Laura’s cell phone and grinning from ear to ear. It seems that Laura’s social networks and their live transmissions can be useful at times. And your mother is there too. Once again, she’s the strong, powerful woman that you’ve always respected, no matter how bad things got between both of you.

 

"The video and witnesses around us are all that we need. I haven’t taken a case in years, but you have no idea how much pleasure it would give me to step into a courtroom again."

 

Ell looks terrified and steps back, ignoring all the journalists who continue to question her.

 

"Okay Hollis, I’ve posted it online," says Laf. They return Laura’s phone, and she smiles gratefully. But when Mattie and Will hug your mother, Ell steps forward again but this time finds her way blocked by Laura.

 

"JUST WAIT! YOU TWO WILL PAY FOR THIS!"

 

Laura doesn’t move.

 

"Listen to me, Ell! I have enough evidence to lock you away for life. As I said before, I like to play fair, but not when the well-being of the people I love is at stake. So, if you don't want to end up joining your father in prison, you better take the first flight out of Austria and never return. Because if there's one thing I've learned in my years as a journalist is that the media are in truth the fourth estate. If you do not disappear completely from our lives, then I will make a hell of yours. Stay away from my girlfriend. Stay away from our daughters. Stay away from our family!"

 

Ell seems to shrink in on herself as she recognizes just how serious your girlfriend is.

 

"Oh! And if I were you, I’d say a quick goodbye to your father before he’s locked up for good,” says Laura, showing her a live feed on her phone. On it, a handcuffed Karl Julius von Habsburg is being led from his house by the police.

 

"There’s more waiting outside for the former Prime Minister, so I recommend you be careful when you leave, dear.”

 

The last you see of Ell is her being surrounded by journalists. They’re shouting questions at her about her father and his arrest. Of course, the news and photos are probably being broadcast all over the world right now. The internet is good at that.

 

It was so close to being your family instead.

 

On the other side of the room, more reporters are interviewing Theo, as he talks to journalists about his own revelation. It’s been a hell of a way to come out of the closet!

 

Another group is talking to J.P. who tells his story in mind numbing detail, with regular interventions and clarifications by Laf. The redhead looks as pleased as if they’d been handed the keys to the largest laboratory in the world.

 

You look around, searching for Laura, but your mother finds you first.

 

"Carmilla, can we talk?"

 

You nod slowly.

 

"Carmilla, I owe you an apology. I know it was wrong of me to pay Ell to leave you and let you think she deserted you. I thought I was doing the right thing, despite all the suffering her departure caused you. But I can only hope that as a mother yourself, that you understand that things we do for our children are often done from the heart rather than reason. I know that you do anything to protect Hayley. I'm sorry. I hope someday you can forgive me for all the pain that I have caused in your life. Not only because of Ell but for my own neglect. Seeing Laura defend you with such fervor, I would like to be part of that family. Your family."

 

You never thought the day would come that you would have this conversation with your mother. Or that she would ever apologize to you, of all people. Those are significant words from Lilita Morgan. But you’re not ready for them yet.

 

"One step at a time, Mother."

 

"One step at a time, Carmilla," says your mother with a smile. And you’re grateful for her acceptance.

 

There is a moment of silence when you see Laura talking energetically with Will and Mattie after saying goodbye to a tall blonde who was interviewing her. Apparently, everyone gets a turn at being the center of attention today.

 

"Oh! And, Carmilla? I know that I never told you, but, even though your father and I loved Mattie for her strength and your brother for his goodness, he was always proudest of you. I am sure that wherever he is now, he is still as proud of you and your decisions as I am."

 

 Your mother’s gaze is directed at Laura the whole time as she squeezes your shoulder affectionately. And you believe her. He would be proud of you, especially with Laura by your side.

 

Your mother walks toward them, and your brother hugs her tightly again. You’re not ready to do that yet, but someday.

 

"Hey!"

 

_Finally!_

 

Laura is smiling eagerly, and you can’t help smiling like a smitten kitten in return.

 

"Hey, cupcake!"

 

"It's finally over."

 

"Only the nightmare, cutie. The real dream is just beginning."

 

Laura’s smile grows even wider as you hug her by the waist. She wraps her arms around your neck, caressing it gently before her lips collide with yours.

 

Those sweet lips that you will never tire of kissing.

 

"Ms. Karnstein, could I possibly get an exclusive interview for Channel 3?" she asks playfully between kisses.

 

"I am exclusively yours, Cupcake."

 

Laura throws her head back and laughs. And yes, you could listen to that laugh for the rest of your life.

 

"However, the interview will have to wait. For now, the only thing I want to do is go home to kiss and hug our daughters," you reply.

 

"Only our daughters?" says Laura, with a sad pout.

 

"Oh, don’t you worry Cupcake! I have other plans for you."

 

Judging by Laura’s enthusiastic kissing, she’s very agreeable to your ‘plans’.

 

After a nightmarish day, you say goodbye to your mother, siblings, and friends so you can take Laura home. LaFontaine asks you to assure Perry that they’re okay and that they’ll be bringing J.P. with them.

 

When you and Laura arrive at Laferry’s house, your daughters are already asleep and despite Perry offering to keep them until the morning, you take them home with you. All you want now is have your family together in Laura’s. Your home.

 

The girls don’t even wake on the journey home. Laura puts them in Sloan’s bed and kisses them goodnight, kisses they return sleepily. When it’s your turn, Hayley mumbles an 'I love you, mommy.' Sloan smiles and whispers something that ends with 'Carm.'

 

And yes, you did have other plans, but both of you are exhausted. After the day, you both had, the only thing you have the energy for is to lie on the bed with Laura in your arms. She rests her head on your chest as and her legs are intertwined with yours. She hums in delight as you gently stroke and play with her hair. Neither of you says anything; the easy intimacy of this moment means too much to be ruined by talking. Words are unnecessary; you have the woman you love in your arms, and the touch of her body against yours is all you ever wanted.

 

That is the moment that you realize that every day for the rest of your life, no matter what happens, with Laura by your side is going to be a good day. It's going to be one fine life. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was a kick!
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> Tell me what you think!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Thanks again for joining me on this trip, Creampuffs!


	25. Today is different.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hollstein family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, g*d! This is hard uh... well... here you go the epilogue from this amazing journey by your side. You have been excellent readers and lovely Creampuffs. 
> 
>  
> 
> I can't thank you enough to all the creampuffs that took one or two minutes to comment and always had nice words to this work. 
> 
>  
> 
> And of course to my wonderful amazing spectacular beta Niall, this work had been nothing without him!!!
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> Ugh! I have something in my eye, a hollstein probably... so, you just go and read... 
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>  
> 
> xoxo
> 
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> 
> Mckie

 

**_A month later_ **

 

The headlines were still all about the press conference.

 

They tended to concentrate on two things, the arrest of Ell’s father and the arrest of Vordenberg outside his campaign headquarters. It was too good to pass up; Vordenberg attempted to flee but ended up falling down some steps and breaking his left arm and some ribs. The most popular photo was of him lying on the ground, screaming in pain, and swearing vengeance while several members of the police stood by trying not to laugh (and mostly failing).

 

Theo Straka had given several interviews on prime-time television. He spoke about all the years that he had to hide his sexuality and how, now that it was all out in the open, how his father had disowned him. However, his mother had traveled to Austria to assure him of her love and support. There were even unconfirmed rumors that he was seeing someone, but Theo always refused to comment when asked.

 

Lilita, Mattie, and Will began working on a lawsuit against Ell for blackmail, and the Prosecutor's office even issued a warrant for her arrest. However, Ell had already slipped out of the country by taking a flight to Atlanta where she had lived with her mother for a few months after the divorce. It was a relief for Laura and Carmilla to see the images of a sunglasses-wearing Ell struggling with her Louis Vuitton luggage and trying to avoid the press as she passed through the departure gates. She never did say goodbye to her father.

 

Apart from that, Laura as Carmilla enjoyed a well- deserved break from their jobs and concentrated on enjoying each other’s company in the peace and quiet of Laura’s house. They also spent a lot of time with their daughters after picking them up from school together in the afternoons.

 

The week after, the board of Channel 3 invited Laura to a meeting to discuss her future with them. They were exceptionally pleased with her work on the Vordenberg case and offered her the opportunity of hosting her own investigative show on the channel. Laura rejected the offer because it meant she would have to work even more hours than she already did. She had enjoyed her week off with Carmilla because it gave her a chance to regroup and think about what she wanted to with her life. She decided that spending time with Sloan and getting to know her new family was her main priority from then on and informed the board of her decision.

 

However, the board of Channel 3 were so eager to keep Laura that they made her a new offer to present the main evening news with Betty as a roving reporter. It would the first time ever that a woman presented the country’s most prestigious and respected news show. Even though she would oversee the news team and set the editorial agenda, she would still have plenty of free time to spend with Sloan, Hayley, and Carmilla.

 

When Carmilla returned to work after her week off, Ian informed her that he had decided to retire from the  agency he had founded and spend his 'last years' traveling the world. Carmilla had thought of Ian as a father figure and felt it was ironic that her father had left the firm he co-founded for the same reason.

 

However, Ian  had no family and offered Carmilla the chance to buy most of his stake in the company. The sole condition was that the agency would keep his name and that he kept his minority stake until he died. The publicist refused the opportunity unless Ian kept a thirty-three per cent golden share in the business and agreed to advise her on running the agency whenever she needed his help. Ian thought that it was unnecessary and that Carmilla was more than qualified to take his place. Nevertheless, he eventually agreed to her terms in full including the advisory role. Neither admitted that they never wanted to lose contact with each other. 

 

Carmilla and Laura’s relationship meant they had a new daily routine. Laura worked from home in the mornings, preparing her bulletins and directing her team. She was the one who collected the children from school. Carmilla would call in after work to be with them while Laura went to the station to present the evening news. She was always home afterward, and the four of them would eat the dinner that  SJ had prepared. Carmilla and Hayley usually went home after dinner, but sometimes they would stay. In fact, Hayley kept some of her clothes in Sloan’s closet for this very reason, and Carmilla had some of hers in Laura’s.

 

Weekends were usually shared between the two houses.

 

**_Six months later_ **

 

Laura and Carmilla had settled into a comfortable domestic routine. Although Carmilla was spending more time at Laura’s house than at her own, they had both agreed that as their relationship was still new, they also needed some time away from each other. So Carmilla and Hayley would always return to spend a few days at home and to look after Bagheera who now had a bed in both houses.

 

During those months, with the active support and encouragement of Laura, Lilita was trying to repair her relationship with Carmilla.

 

There was another new tradition. Each month, their friends and Carmilla’s family would visit Laura’s home for the weekend. The last time, Laura’s father arrived too. Although they had always been close, especially after the death of his wife, Sherman still missed her. 

 

"Then Laura comes running into the kitchen when I was kissing her mother and got between us demanding that we separate and never kiss each other again”.

 

"All because she thought that’s where babies came from?” asked Carmilla, trying to keep a straight face.

 

"Yes! My little Laura never wanted a little brother. Even though we explained a thousand times that getting a little brother was more complicated than that, Eileen and I had to spend months hiding from her because she wouldn’t believe us."

 

Everyone at the table exploded with laughter. Laura hid her face in Carmilla’s side from embarrassment while Carmilla encouraged him to tell all the stories he had about her. It wasn’t hard because it seemed Sherman Hollis could talk for hours without pausing for breath. Just like Laura, really.

 

"Well, you were just as bad at that age, Carmilla," said Mattie.

 

Mattie always enjoyed these little get-togethers, not that she would ever admit it. Will had told Carmilla that she even stopped working those weekends so that she would be free to come. 

 

"Mattie, what are you talking about? I was never like that," replied Carmilla.

 

"Oh, really? Mother, do you remember the time that Carmilla attempted to return William?" 

 

"I had forgotten! My little William was only a few months old, and Carmilla was disgusted because she was no longer the youngest in the family. One evening, he was having his nap while I thought Carmilla was reading quietly in her room and Matska was doing her homework in the study. It was the perfect time to prepare dinner. Matska had completed her assignments and was preparing her stuff for the following day. I was about to call everyone to the table when I heard Matska laughing and shouting "Mother, come see this!' When I went to Carmilla’s room, William was in a cardboard box with his blanket, some toys, and his favorite plush bunny. The box had a few small scribbles on it, but you could still read ‘return to sender’ on it”.

 

Everyone began laughing as Mattie continued the story.

 

"When I told Carmilla to tell Mother what she was trying to do, she simply said with the most adorable pout, 'I'm returning William to the stork because I don’t want him anymore’. Mother and I could not stop laughing until my father returned and asked what was going on. He thought it was hilarious, but he was the only one who could convince Carmilla that William could not be returned to the stork by mail."

 

It was Carmilla’s turn to hide her face as Laura held her close and patted her back while stroking her hair as everyone laughed uproariously. She couldn’t stop giggling at the story and made Lilita promise to show her all the photos she took that day.

 

Laura truly believed that was how it should be; remembering the good times with your parents was the best way to keep their memory alive.

 

"See! All I wanted was to not have brothers, not return them by mail," said Laura, teasing her mortified girlfriend.

 

Carmilla just groaned and hugged Laura a little tighter.

 

"Wait, wait,” said Laf. “I think that we need more sangria on the table. Don’t tell any more childhood stories until I get back!" 

 

When everyone calmed down, Kirsch and Danny told a different story about how Laura called the police every day to search for a missing roommate and how she posted flyers all over the campus. It was hard to tell who was prouder, Sherman or Carmilla even though it turned out that she had only spent a few days at her boyfriend’s apartment. Laura and Perry listened carefully while J.P. told everyone about the time Carmilla had changed her fishing rod with his. Laura never tired of hearing that story; it was her favorite anecdote and every time they met, asked J.P. to tell it again. Laura loved that her girlfriend was a wonderful, caring person from their earliest years. Carmilla just rolled her eyes at the adoring face Laura gave her during the story, but she was always touched that Laura felt that way about her.

 

Near the end of dinner, Carmilla and Lilita were sitting on their own at the table.

 

"You have no idea how much I enjoy seeing you smile again, Carmilla."

 

Carmilla was still in the process of forgiving her mother for the years of abandonment, but she knew that Lilita was sincere about rebuilding their relationship.

 

"It's hard not to when I’m surrounded by all these dimwits, Mother," she replied sarcastically.

 

"Well, thank you for sharing that touching sentiment," Lilith answered in the same tone. She understood her daughter still used this defense mechanism to hide what she truly felt, especially when she was happy. It gave Lilita hope that one day she’d be completely reconciled with her daughter. She was taking one day at a time, just as Carmilla wished.

 

"You know I didn't mean it that way, Mother," said Carmilla, as she reached over to take her mother’s hand in her own. 

 

And Lilita felt that maybe that day was arriving sooner than she dared hope.

 

**_One year later_ **

 

Laura and Carmilla decided to move in together. After months of thinking about it separately and eventually discussing it, they knew their relationship had developed enough to take that step and that it was the best thing for their little family. Carmilla and Hayley had begun spending a lot more time at Laura’s, so with the help of their friends and family, she moved all her things to Laura’s house.

 

To no one’s surprise, Will and Sarah Jane had announced their engagement a month previously, and Carmilla knew exactly what her gift to them was going to be. It was only right that the two have a home together and where better than the house where they first met. Carmilla sorted all the paperwork with the help of her mother and transferred the house to both.

 

Carmilla even began to appreciate Danny and Kirsch in their lives and consider them as friends. She regularly bickered with Danny especially if she thought she was taking up too much of Laura’s attention, but that was just their way of interacting with each other and Danny grew to trust Carmilla more and more. Each time Carmilla did something sweet for her best friend, Danny became more convinced that Laura picked the perfect girlfriend.

 

Laura and Carmilla were in Carmilla’s old bedroom collecting her last personal bits and pieces when a small journal with pages yellowed by age attracted Laura’s attention.

 

Carmilla was still emptying her walk-in closet, so Laura slowly opened the notebook. However, she closed it again even though she was tempted to find out why her girlfriend had kept it for so long. She didn’t feel comfortable invading Carmilla’s privacy like that.

 

"Hey, Carm."

 

 "Huh?"

 

"What’s this?"

 

Carmilla turned her head and frowned in confusion for a second when she tried to see what Laura was holding, but relaxed as she stepped out and took it from Laura’s hands. She ran her hands over it gently, almost reverentially.

 

"My father gave me this journal. When I was a child, I was always writing or drawing, or at least, what I thought was writing and drawing. I even used to write on the walls, and my mother punished me once by taking away my writing materials because once I wrote all over my bedroom walls.”

 

Carmilla paused for a moment, smiling at the memory.

 

"About a month before my father left, he called me to his study and gave me this. He told me that I had a lot of talent and to never give up on my dreams. I forgot about it for a few years, until I found it among my things some time later. I didn’t write or draw in it every day, just when I felt like it to clarify my thoughts and feelings. I would sit on the window ledge in my room and write or draw in it whenever I was in the mood. When I start dating Ell, I rarely bothered. She always wanted to read it, but I never felt comfortable with her doing that, and eventually, she stopped asking."

  
  


Laura was glad she erred on the side of caution and asked Carmilla for permission first. It had become a lot easier for her to talk about Ell lately  even though Laura knew that Carmilla would never forgive her. However, she was beginning to put the memory of her ex-wife behind her and to speak of her without hatred, which was helping her to heal. She was doing the same with her father and Laura too was coming to terms with her mother’s death. 

 

"When Ell left me, I moved out of the house that we shared and brought the journal with me. I wasn’t writing or drawing in it anymore, but it was the last link I had with my father, and I didn't have the heart to throw it away. Besides, I never realized how much his words stuck with me until the agency offered me a job. I didn’t hesitate for a moment, and from those silly scribbles as a child, I found my true vocation."

 

Laura felt even more curious about the journal, but she knew it was something incredibly personal to Carmilla, part of her very soul even.

 

"Yes, Cupcake you can." said Carmilla. 

 

"What?" replied Laura, very confused.

 

"Of course, you can read it."

 "How do you know that I…?"

"Since when did Laura Hollis hold a mystery in her hands that she wasn’t dying to figure out?” 

 

Laura pouted at how well she knew her, but it was hard to be mad at her girlfriend when Carmilla put one arm around her shoulders and kissed her tenderly on the cheek.

 

"Carm, you don't have to agree just because I want to read it,” Laura said, biting her lip. 

 

"Cupcake, there’s no one I’d rather share it with.”

 

Laura opened the old journal carefully, barely touching the pages as she turned them one by one, as if it was an old manuscript that would crumble if she mistreated it.

 

There was no order to the entries. Some were blank; some had words and phrases written at all angles. There were some unfinished paragraphs as if someone had interrupted Carmilla before she could complete them.

 

There were also several small drawings scattered through the journal. Laura could track Carmilla’s progress and skill as her technique began to improve over the years. The earliest sketches were two-dimensional and crudely drawn, but Laura spent ages looking at each one of them, as if she was trying to impress them in her memory. 

 

Some of the writing also made Laura shed a tear or two and made her wish that she could back in time to assure a young confused and scared Carmilla that everything was going to work out okay.

 

As she continued turning the pages, Carmilla returned to clearing out her closet. Occasionally Laura heard a small sniffle from her but knew that the best thing she could do was give let Carmilla have her own space for now. This couldn’t be easy for her, no matter how much she trusted Laura. 

 

As Laura continued to review the annotations and drawings, she came to a point where Carmilla must have met Ell. There were some brief paragraphs speaking of 'she' without saying her name, and the drawings began to get more advanced. There was an increased use of light and shade and more detail in each drawing. Carmilla’s developing talent was evident in a sketch of an old woman feeding pigeons in the park, and it was fascinating to see how she depicted the inherent goodness of the woman’s character in her eyes. 

 

Even though they were mostly sketches in pencil or ink, Laura could easily imagine the colors of the gray-haired woman's hair or the greenness of the foliage in the park.

 

Both remained silent, Carmilla still checking her closet and Laura absorbed in the journal. It was a habit that Laura had picked up from Carmilla. She used to avoid silence at all costs when her mother died. But when she got to know Carmilla better, Laura noticed that in general she didn’t talk a lot. She made an exception for Laura and would often talk for hours to her alone, but if she felt words weren’t necessary, then she didn’t force them. Periods of companionable silence with Laura were just as precious to Carmilla, as simply having her by her side made her happy. And Laura found that she enjoyed these times just as fervently as Carmilla.

 

As Laura continued to thumb through the journal, there was one picture that suddenly caught her attention. It looked like an ordinary lake, but it she recognized as the one in Silas University. In the distance, she could see the restored library with each window copied in incredible detail. Laura‘s surprise only increased at Carmilla’s talent, but that wasn’t the most amazing thing in the picture. There was also a female figure sitting on a bench beside the lake. Her legs were pulled into her chest, and her arms were wrapped around her knees as she gazed out over the water. She had long hair that covered most of her face, but Laura imagined that she could see a tear roll down the girl’s face. 

 

"Carm?"

 

"Yes, cupcake?"

 

"When did you draw this?"

 

Carmilla came over behind Laura, hugging her by the waist and looked over her shoulder.

 

She remembered the drawing immediately. It was the very last in one she ever drew in that journal.

 

"I’m not certain, but I remember that day well. I was waiting for Ell beside the lake, and suddenly the scene seemed perfect. I took out my journal, which I was keeping from her, and began to draw. Just as I was signing and dating it, Ell appeared behind me and got into a jealous rage because I was drawing someone else. Oh, wait! The date should be here under my signature."

 

It’s then that Laura noticed the dates, written in Carmilla’s distinctive calligraphy. A date she was very familiar with.

 

"Oh, Carm…"

 

Laura began to laugh and cry at the same time; she dropped the journal onto the boxes that Carmilla had already packed and turned to hug her tightly. Of course, Carmilla was delighted (puzzled, but delighted) and pulled her close.

 

"Laura, are you okay?"

 

Laura had grown used to the fact that Carmilla never used her name unless they were having a row or unless she was worried for her.

 

"I'm more than okay, Carm," replied Laura. “I promise.”

 

"Oookay. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

 

"Remember this girl?" said Laura, picking up the journal again.

 

Carmilla frowned, trying to recall that day.

 

"Ugh, No, Not really. I mean, I think I only saw her that one time. I don't remember too many details, only that she looked incredibly sad. But as crazy as it may sound, that sadness made her look so vulnerable yet so incredibly beautiful. I couldn’t see her face but she was the one that inspired me at that moment to capture the scene before me. I believe this same beauty that I was trying to capture in the drawing was what made Ell so jealous of her."

 

Laura laughs again. Yes, how ironic.

 

"She’s sad because it  was the worst day of her life. She had just received news that would change her forever. She had lost someone she loved dearly, but that same loss made her think that it was time to do what she had always wanted to do. To be happy, and because of that, she found love elsewhere."

 

Carmilla looked at the drawing again. She had no idea how Laura arrived at such a detailed interpretation of it.

 

"Carm, that girl in the drawing? That’s me.”

 

"What?"

 

Laura laughed at Carmilla’s adorably perplexed expression.

 

"The date. That was the day my mother died, and after my father had told me, the first thing I did was…"

 

"Go to the lake in Silas to feel close to her because she loved the water," said Carmilla, finally remembering Laura’s words from their first date when they were on the roof of the Morgan Building.

 

Laura nodded as her tears continued to flow and Carmilla could only hug her more. Laura melted in her arms as she felt more tears rolling down her face, tears that were not hers. Carmilla found Laura’s revelation so overwhelming that she had begun to cry too.

 

Laura was the first to break the silence.

 

"Ironic though, isn't it?" 

 

“Uh?' mumbled Carmilla, not trusting herself to speak yet.

 

"Ell. She was jealous of the woman you drew that day, and she ended up becoming your girlfriend.” 

 

Laura exploded into a fit of giggles, and Carmilla just rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help laughing too. 

 

"You're amazing, Laura Hollis."

 

"We have to frame this page. Oh! Perry knows where to buy these beautiful frames that she keeps for photos of the twins and her wedding to Laf. I believe that they even give a discount if you buy a certain amount. I’m sure Perry will help us with that."

 

_ Oh! There is my girlfriend _ , thought Carmilla, as Laura rambled on about Perry’s frames, the price she got them for and her negotiating skills.

 

She stopped listening when Laura began to speak of the time that Perry got a huge discount for the decoration of the family room in their house, but she was still enthralled by her expressions and mannerisms. The way she frowned adorably when concentrating, with her tongue sticking out slightly moistening her lips was a favorite of Carmilla’s. She licked her own in response as she waited for an opportunity to kiss her. But until then, Carmilla continued to study Laura’s every mannerism and gesture, committing them to memory, one by one.

 

That old drawing lacked those finer details, and Carmilla swore to herself that this would never happen again. She didn’t know when she’d draw Laura again, but her face was always going to be imprinted on her mind.

  
  


**_Three years later_ **

 

Carmilla had never felt this nervous before. Well maybe once or twice.

 

The first time was when she held Hayley in her arms, the day she brought her home.

 

The second was almost a year ago, while she got down on one knee to pop the question. 

This was different.

Carmilla checked her appearance for the umpteenth time in front of the mirror, making certain that her outfit was perfect. She wore white trousers with a matching jacket. The jacket had a neckline that allowed a peek of a black satin corset to match the color of her stilettos. She smiled because she knew that Laura would be delighted with the outfit that she chose, certain that in addition to the daring neckline, Laura had an obsession with her in a corset and heels. There hadn’t been many times in their relationship that she forsook her comfort for the sake of her girlfriend.

 

But, today was going to be different.

 

"I never thought I'd see you dressed so well!"

 

Mattie arrived at the tent that Carmilla was using as a dressing room, with William following behind her. 

 

"Whoa, Mattie! You promised nothing ostentatious."

 

Mattie was wearing a red halter-neck, floor length dress with a split at the sides to show off her legs and it even had a train that trailed behind her. Naturally, her shoes were a perfect match for the dress. It was as if she was prepared to parade down a runway or a red carpet, rather than a wedding . 

 

"Carmilla, this is as subdued as I get, without going to a second-hand shop," replied Mattie, rolling her eyes. 

 

Carmilla knew that wasn’t true and that everything Mattie was wearing probably cost more than what she and Laura had spent on the ceremony. But asking Mattie to dress ‘smart casual’ was like asking Laura not to ramble when she spoke, telling Laf to be careful with their experiments,  asking Hayley to cut back on cookies, Sloan to stop reading. Or Will not to be such a bro with Kirsch (Carmilla was still wondering how those two became such good friends).

 

To summarize, it was never going to happen.

 

Will was wearing a black suit, white shirt with a vest and red tie that complemented the flower in his buttonhole.

 

Carmilla couldn’t avoid thinking about the last time she was in the same situation. She had worn a normal navy-blue suit, while her siblings had to wear hideous matching coral outfits **.** Ell had picked them for them.

 

There was a significant difference, however. That time Mattie and Will  hadn’t even wanted to take part in the ceremony. It had been more like a funeral than a celebration.

 

Today was going to be different.

 

Neither of them could hide the huge smiles on their faces.

 

"My God, Kitty! You look beautiful."

 

"Aaaw. Our brother is moved. Are you going to cry at the ceremony, William?" asked Mattie, in a joking tone.

 

"I’m wondering when we'll see you in the same situation again, Mattie. Carmilla and I are younger; yet I am happily married and Kitty here is on her second marriage."

 

Carmilla punched Will in the arm for that comment, at which he let out an overly dramatic ‘ouch.'

  
  


"Oh! Believe me, brother dear. There have been times that I wanted to find someone and live happily ever after. But not after the way things worked out for me the last time. Now when I wake up in various parts of the world, I realize then that I could never be as settled and boring as you two."

 

Carmilla knew that there was some truth in Mattie’s words. She also knew that Mattie didn’t need anyone in her life now. She had been married for three months but her husband died suddenly and she never wanted to go through something like that again. She wasn’t lonely; she simply loved and preferred to be free. She was happy, and that’s all Carmilla wanted for her.

 

"Don’t you have something for Carmilla, William?"

 

"Of course!" replied William, handing Carmilla a small black box with a red arrangement like his.

 

"This is the finishing touch, little sis, and then you’re perfect."

 

Carmilla smiled at her younger brother’s affection, even though she never understood why he felt the need to treat her as if she was the youngest of the three of them. But over the last three years, she had learned to care even more for him and for Mattie.

 

And her mother.

 

"Knock Knock; can I come in?"

 

Lilita came into the tent, wearing a long oil-blue colored dress. Carmilla only knew this because her mother had been talking about it for the past three months and still had no idea what this color was supposed to look like. Now that she finally saw it, she realized how beautiful it was and how well it went with her mother’s pale skin.

 

Lilita and Carmilla were continuing to work on their relationship, and they had come a long way over the last three years. They usually spoke once a week by phone and met at least once a month. Lilita often looked after the girls regularly just so that Laura and Carmilla could enjoy a night alone or go on a date. She had also returned to practicing law, but she only took cases that interested her. Several of them were  _ pro bono _ and were usually for people or organizations that Laura recommended to her when she discovered their plights during her research for Channel 3.

 

Laura and Lilita’s relationship had also grown closer over the last few years. She had become like a second mother to Laura, and Carmilla found it very touching.

 

"Mother, we are putting the finishing touches to Carmilla to make her worthy of Laura." 

 

“Mattie! Your sister is worthy of Laura, no matter how she looks."

 

Carmilla smiled at her mother’s reply and would gladly have stuck her tongue out at Mattie. Nevertheless, it was her wedding day, and she decided to be the bigger person.

 

"Mattie and I are going to take our places, Kitty. We’ll see you in a few minutes," said Will, who was also grinning as he left the tent.

 

Carmilla was struggling with the arrangement that William gave her. She couldn’t quite get it right.

 

"Come. Let me help you."

 

Lilita had it fixed in no time, but Carmilla knew that her mother wasn’t finished with her yet. She prepared herself for the inevitable lecture to take care of Laura. She still hadn’t got used to the fact that Lilita was more protective of Laura than she was, but it wasn’t hard to understand .

 

"You can say it, Mother."

 

"I'm not going to tell you anything that you don't already know. This isn’t the occasion for a sermon. I have already spoken with Laura." 

 

"Ah, okay. Wait, what!?"

 

"Of course, I did, Carmilla. Although I love Laura, you are my daughter.  I am not taking sides; on the contrary. I will tell you the same thing I said to her.  Take care of each other, Carmilla. The decision to marry is one that governs every day of your life. Every day when you wake up, you decide to be with that person. Never take each other for granted, fight for eachother every day. Fight together for your beautiful daughters."

 

Carmilla could already feel the tears threatening to flow.

 

"And here comes the warning. You are adults, and while I know that you may hurt each other unintentionally, both of you are strong enough to overcome it. But if you hurt my granddaughters, you’re going to have to deal with me."

 

“Yes, that’s my mother,” thought Carmilla. “Wait a sec? Your granddaughters?”

 

"Carmilla, surely you don’t think that after all these years, I don’t consider Sloan as much my granddaughter as Hayley?"

 

Carmilla couldn’t hold the tears back any longer, causing her mother to reach into her back for a hankie before her makeup was ruined.

 

"I trust in your love for Laura, as I trust in hers for you. My words are merely to fulfil tradition. I know that your love for each other will be stronger than any problems the world will throw at you."

 

"Thank you, Mother."

 

"You have nothing to be grateful for, dear. I love you." 

 

"I love you too, Mom. So much."

 

At those words, Lilita felt her own tears overflow, and Carmilla took the handkerchief from her hands to wipe them away.

 

"Well, it is time, Carmilla."

 

Lilita had not attended her daughter’s wedding to Ell, but she wasn’t going to pass up this one. This was the way it should have been the first time. She had refused to attend that ceremony, as she knew it was bound to fail.

 

Today would be different.

 

In the meantime, Laura had forgotten how many times she had lifted her dress to check her shoes. They were red satin, encrusted with black crystals. An uncommon choice, but given that her dress was completely white, she wanted to add a little touch to match the colors that Carmilla and her had chosen for  her wedding.

 

Their wedding.

 

After she broke up with Danny, Laura never thought that she would get married to anyone. But here she was, minutes away from joining her life with Carmilla’s and she couldn’t be happier.

 

It was exciting and strange at the same time. Carmilla and her had been living together for three years. It wasn’t as if something was going to magically change when they finally said  _ I do. _

 

However, she couldn’t help feeling nervous and eager at the thought of finally being able to call Carmilla her wife. Laura knew it wasn’t about owning Carmilla as if she was an object. Calling Carmilla 'hers' meant they belonged to each other, body and soul.

 

She was still thinking about the advice that Lilita gave her a few minutes ago.

 

_ 'Take care of eachother, Laura. Decide to be together every day of your lives. Always work on the love you have for each other; and if you ever forget, remember it for the sake of your beautiful daughters.” _

 

Their daughters. Laura smiles every time someone refers to Sloan and Hayley that way. Especially when Lilita calls them her granddaughters. She felt even happier when Mattie and even William referred to Sloan as their niece.

 

She shivered a little at remembering Lilita’s warning that she’d bury both of them alive if she ever found out that either of them hurt their daughters.

 

Laura sighed once more as her feet begin to move. Her red shoes also have another meaning. Her mother’s favorite movie was 'The Wizard of Oz' and Laura wanted to keep her memory close in some way on this very special day. Her red shoes, just like Dorothy’s would take her home where she belonged. With Carmilla.

 

"Well, perfect! I’m here with Laura, you can tell everyone to take their seats."

 

Perry entered the tent, talking through the mic on her hands-free phone. After Carmilla had popped the question and Laura said yes, Perry immediately popped her own question. If possible, she was more nervous than Carmilla when she managed to say 'Laura, will you do me the honor of letting me plan yours and Carmilla’s wedding?’ Laura was so touched and amused that she even jokingly responded ‘I do.’

 

And it had been a real pleasure to have Perry on their side during all those months of planning. Laura didn’t know what she would have done without her. Carmilla also had actively participated in the planning, but Laura secretly knew that at first, Perry almost had to force Carmilla to attend to all the cake tests, food selection, and flower selection and so on. Even though her future wife had attended under duress, it was obvious that she had begun to enjoy the whole process. Laura realized this when her mailbox began to fill up with countless emails from Carmilla with suggestions on flower arrangements, invitations, and other details. She suspected that Carmilla had even dared to open an account on Pinterest to collect all these ideas. Something she refused to confirm or deny.

 

But she did admit at least to having a huge Spotify playlist entitled ‘Songs for our first dance.' Which, of course, Laura immediately added to her own profile, and it was the only thing she listened to for the next few eight months. But the day finally arrived when they had to decide on one song, and after hours of discussion, they eventually settled on playing ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ for it.

 

Yeah, Carmilla won that game.

 

Having Perry to help was a huge relief, but even she couldn't be everywhere to keep things steady. Laura exploded after witnessing a huge fight between Danny and Mattie on the exact shade of red that their dresses should be. Sometimes being between Carmilla and her best friend was like trying to mediate a political debate, but mediating between her sister-in-law and Danny was like trying to stop World War 3. Carmilla called in sick to her own work the next day, arranged for her mother to look after Hayley and Sloan after school, persuaded Sophia to give Laura the day off and brought her out to J.P. cabin.

 

'No cell phones, laptops, just you and me for a day, Cupcake’ was her promise and they spend the day in a blanket fort eating junk food and watching Netflix. 

 

Amongst other activities.

 

Laura would return the favor a few weeks later when Will, Laf, J.P. (and Mattie again) fought over who was going to be Carmilla’s honor attendant.

 

"Well, honey; Carmilla is ready and should be at the altar waiting for you. Do you need anything else?" 

 

"No, Perry. Thank you."

 

Laura bit her lower lip, and Perry knew that there was something else on her mind.

 

"Laura, she’s fine. If you’re nervous, it’s understandable. Do you remember how Laf and I were on the day of our wedding?"

 

"How could I forget it? You were stress-cleaning Laf’s parent's beach house in your wedding dress while I was trying to hide the cleaning supplies and Danny had to physically restrain Laf from breaking into your room to check that you hadn’t turned into a runaway bride."

 

Both women laughed at the memory.

 

"Well. Carmilla is well; a little nervous maybe, but she’s just as eager to finally become your wife."

 

Laura couldn’t help but smile while imagining an anxious Carmilla walking from side to side trying to hide her nervousness. The only thing that Laura couldn’t imagine was what her future wife would be wearing. Both agreed to keep those details secret from each other so as not to lose the magic of seeing each other for the first time. She suspected that Carmilla was so insistent on this as apparently in their first marriage Ell even picked her suit and dragged her to every bridal shop in town before her ex finally got the dress she wanted.

 

Today was going to be different.

 

"Oh! Wait! No, no, no! J.P will enter first with Mattie and then William with Sarah Jane. I'm on my way," said Perry suddenly, waving her hands in frustration.

 

"Sweetie, I have to check in with Lafontaine because they’re having trouble; but I’ll be back in a few minutes when everything is ready for you."

 

"Thank you, Perry."

 

"Don’t mention it, dear. And Laura? You look absolutely beautiful."

 

Laura blushed slightly. Even though Mattie, Danny, Perry and even Lilita had gone with her when she was trying on wedding dresses, none of them ceased to mention how beautiful she looked when she finally settled on this one. 

 

When Perry left, Laura took one last look at herself in the mirror. She had fallen in love with the dress at first sight and even more so when she tried it on. The dress was a classic mermaid cut that flared out at the back until it trailed along the ground, with little crystals on the bodice. Laura loved that the dress was elegant and not too revealing. Even though it had a sweetheart neckline, it had a lace overlay across the chest decorated with more tiny matching crystals. It was also sleeveless and allowed her to admire her newly toned arms. Laura never admitted to friends and family that she had doubled the time she spent on yoga over the last six months. Carmilla had never said anything, but she was sure that her fiancée was going to love it.

 

"Look at you! Look at my little girl, how beautiful she looks today."

 

Laura turned to see her father enter the tent with tears in his eyes at the sight of his only daughter ready to get married.

 

"Daddy! You promised me you wouldn’t cry. If you cry, I cry, and Perry is going to kill me if I ruined my makeup before the ceremony."

 

The blonde tried to lighten the mood when she felt a small lump in her throat. She was sure that all the emotions she kept in check were going to break at the sight of her father.

 

After his first visit to the monthly dinners, Sherman began calling on them more often. Laura knew that this had a lot to do with Carmilla. She knew how to win the heart of her father from the moment Laura introduced them. Both loved the jazz, swing, and blues classics, although Carmilla also loved punk and classic rock. But Carmilla had received his seal of approval when she gave him an extremely rare box set of Frank Sinatra songs for his birthday.

 

It always puzzled Laura a little that Carmilla’s music taste could be so old fashioned and she used to joke that she should have been born a few decades earlier. Carmilla always answered, "That’s real music, Cupcake, compared to what the youth of today listen to’ The blonde couldn't help but laugh each time she insisted on this because Carmilla sounded so much like her own grandparents when she was growing up.

 

"No, no. We don’t want Perry to kill us both. Well, you know that they are tears of happiness, my little Laura."

 

"I know. Mine too," Laura replied, as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.

 

"I know that this is not the time, Laur. But I want to tell you that I regret the years that I wasn’t there for you after your mother’s passing. It was very difficult to look at you without seeing her in your eyes. Your mother was the love of my life and losing her was the worst thing that ever happened to me. However, you and Sloan gave me the desire to move on, and I want to spend the rest of life showing how much I love you.”

 

"Dad! Ugh! How do you expect me not to cry when you say things like that?"

 

Laura ran over to the dressing table to grab another tissue from amongst all the makeup artists’ tools. As her wedding present, Mattie had insisted on providing a professional to help Laura for her big day.

 

"I'm sorry, Laurasaurous."

 

Sherman pulled out his own tissue to do the same with the tears that flowed down his cheeks.

 

"You know something, Laura? Last night I had trouble sleeping. I was really looking forward to this day, and a very vivid memory came to my mind. I don’t know if you still remember her, but when you were eight years of age, you went through a stage where the only thing you wanted was to be grown up and married. The first clue that your mother and I had about your sexuality was when you developed a huge crush on our neighbor’s daughter, Sharon."

 

Laura vaguely remembered Sharon. She was about six years older than Laura, and she used to admire her from a distance. She was in a rebellious teenage phase at the time, always blaring rock music from her bedroom and dressed all in black leather. She smiled at the thought that she was marrying a woman that wasn’t so different from her first crush.

 

"The next thing I remember is that I came home from work one day to find you and your mother working on a little white dress that you insisted you were going to wear when you married Sharon. I’ll never forget that little girl running toward me with her mouth full of chocolate chip cookies and a huge smile telling me that you were going to get married. I just thought that when that day came, your mother and I would be by your side when you married someone that deserved you.”

 

Laura felt her heart building a little. Her mother wasn’t physically present, and she tried not to think about it too much even though she tried to keep her in mind when choosing what to wear for the wedding 

 

"It may not be the exact same image that I had in mind all these years ago Laura. But to see you today looking like the beautiful princess that you are, that's what she always dreamed of. You know that I was always very distrustful of people at your side, even Danny. She’s a good person, but I knew she wasn’t the right one for you. That changed when I met Carmilla. Not only because of the way the two of you get lost in each other’s eyes but the way she treated Sloan like her own daughter. That’s when I knew that she wasn’t just interested in making you happy but in becoming a family, And Hayley is such a blessing. The way that girl protects Sloan even though she’s tiny makes my heart burst with joy.”

 

Okay, so not only was Perry is going to kill her, but Mattie too when she saw what was probably thousands of dollars’ worth of makeup and time completely wasted.

 

Perry did come back to check on Laura. Luckily, she understood and shooed Sherman out of the tent. Then she called the makeup artist and basically bullied her to return and fix Laura’s makeup. No extra charge.

 

"All done, Laura. Lilita is ready to lead Carmilla to the altar, and as soon as you call me, you can do the same with your father."

 

Laura always felt a special bond with Perry from the day she met her. She provided a certain maternal touch that she had missed since her own mother died. She had no idea what she’d do if Perry weren't around at times like this. 

 

But she also thought she’d never be completely happy again after her mother died.

 

Today was going to be different.

 

"Carmilla, if you don’t stop this right now, I swear I will put you over my knee for a spanking!” 

 

"Sorry, Mom. I’m just so nervous…"

 

"Oh, Please! You’re being foolish now. Laura worships the ground you walk on, so it's not like she’s going to call off the wedding at this point."

 

"It's not that. I want this to be perfect. The first time was a disaster, but this time I want everything to be the way Laura has imagined all her life. I want her to have the wedding of her dreams, and I want her to have the best day of her life."

 

Carmilla couldn’t erase the scenes racing through her mind and the nerves she experienced the last time she got married. In retrospect, it was probably her gut telling her that she was making the worst decision of her young life.

 

Today would be different.

 

"Carmilla, dear, Laura will be thrilled just to see you. I’m certain that she’s going to be so focused on you that she wouldn't notice if a giant black cat joined the ceremony."

 

_ Weird _ , thought Carmilla, but at least it distracted her from her nerves as she pictured an imaginary panther walking down the aisle and taking a seat with the other guests.

 

Carmilla gazed at the spot where she was shortly going to pledge her eternal love to Laura. She recalled the time that they eventually settled on this place. After months of frantically searching for places to satisfy both, they were on the verge of giving up. But Sloan, who stayed away from any preparations, was the one who suggested it.

 

‘Why don’t you use J.P.’s cabin by the lake? Mom loves places with water and Carm is always telling stories about her childhood there,' she suggested after one too many conversations about flowers and place settings.

 

Carmilla smiled when she thought of her daughters. Both had grown a lot, although not much in Hayley’s case. She was amazed at how much she had started to resemble Laura in appearance; with all the time they spend together, she had also developed a great interest in Laura’s hobbies and an even worse sweet tooth. They had all the same expressions, especially when they were annoyed about something or when they slept.

 

At the same time, Sloan became more outgoing. She had learned to be more comfortable around people and be more open to potential friendships. In addition to her growing passion for books, she developed a great interest in music and Carmilla felt she would be the happiest mother ever if she developed any skill with an instrument. Yes, mother, because that’s how Carmilla felt about her. Not that they ever spoke about this; sometimes words weren’t enough to describe it.

 

The Wedding March began to play, and Carmilla felt rooted to the spot. She had no idea what to do. But her mother gently linked her arm with hers and helped her with her first steps toward the altar. As soon as they took up their positions, Lilita gave her a hug and whispered in her ear.

 

“I love you so much, Carmilla. You are the best thing that ever happened to your father and me.”

 

Carmilla saw Will arm-in-arm with his wife Sarah Jane, Mattie embracing J.P. as if she was on a Milan catwalk, Danny and Kirsch smiling and giving her a thumbs-up and finally Perry and Laf. The latter was struggling to hide their tears and failing.

 

Then there were her daughters. Hayley wore a sleeveless pearl-colored dress with a red sash and decorated with white flowers; she also had a bow of the same color in her hair. The most beautiful thing about her was the huge excited smile on her face. Sloan chose something less classical, at least for a girl of her age. She had picked a suit like Carmilla’s that matched the color of Hayley’s dress. It was cut a little looser than Carmilla’s, and she had paired it with a red shirt and shoes in the same color.

 

Everyone took their assigned places, and Carmilla took a deep breath to compose herself. It was time.

 

Three years may be a long for some people, but when Carmilla thought about everything that had happened in those three years, it felt like it had gone by in the blink of an eye.

 

Today was going to be different.

 

When she saw her future wife walk down the aisle, Carmilla forgot how to breathe.

 

She always knew that Laura was beautiful, whether she was dressed up to go out or waking up first thing in the morning with sleepy eyes and bedhead.

 

Carmilla had had this dream repeatedly over the last month. She would look up and see Laura in her wedding dress, looking like a real-life princess. 

 

Today was different.

 

This was real.

 

She saw from Laura’s reaction that she too approved of what she was wearing. But after Laura smiled, her eyes went misty with unshed tears, and Carmilla felt she too was about to cry too from sheer happiness.

 

But when Laura finally reached the altar, neither of them could stop smiling. Laura’s father gave them his blessing before delivering his daughter's hand to Carmilla.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey.”

 

Finally, the ceremony began.

 

 

Laura couldn’t believe how lucky she was. Beside her was the most beautiful woman in the world, not only in appearance but also in her loving personality. She was everything that Laura was looking for without even knowing it.

 

Although it was a civil ceremony, both agreed to follow some traditions. Nothing was more important to them than celebrating their feelings and pledging their lives together. Exchanging vows was something that both agreed to include.

 

"Now, Carmilla and Laura will share their love for each other with us through their vows."

 

Carmilla faced Laura and took her hands in hers. The lump in her throat felt so intense that she had to swallow a few times before she could speak.

 

"Hey, cupcake."

 

The guests laughed at the unusual greeting. Laura did too as she looked at Carmilla in pure adoration.

 

"Before we say our vows, there is something that both we agreed to do first. So, if you will allow me."

 

Carmilla let go of Laura’s hands for a moment. She walked over to Sloan in the front row while the guests murmured amongst themselves and knelt before her so that she could look her straight in the eye. It was a little harder than it used to be because Sloan was taller now.

 

"I know that this is somewhat unusual, but Laura and I decided by being here today, we were making a decision that involves more than us."

 

Carmilla cleared her throat once more before continuing.

 

"Sloan, I know that when my relationship with Laura began, you were very concerned about what would happen to your friendship with Hayley. So, I make the same promise that I made the same day. Nothing is going to change between you and her. I know that we have lived together as a family for a couple of years, but today, in front of these witnesses I want you to know that this day that only do I want to be your mother's partner in life forever, I want to be in yours too. I want to be a parent to you, to take care of you, protect you and support you every day, to give you the best of me. I will love you like I love Hayley because starting today, Laura will be my wife, and the two of you will both be my daughters.”

 

The voice of Carmilla breaks at the end as her tears begin to flow. Sloan began to cry too and rushed to hug Carmilla, almost knocking her over. Fortunately, Will was right behind and managed to catch them.

 

Both recomposed themselves, and Lilita offered Carmilla a tissue to dry her tears. Hayley crossed the aisle to hug Sloan before going back to her seat. Laura did the same.

 

"Hey Hollis, come back," said Carmilla, laughing. The rest of the guests joined her, although there was also some sobbing on their part after witnessing the touching moment.

 

“Don’t worry Karnstein, you’re not getting rid of me that easily,” replied Laura as she took her hands again.

  
  


Carmilla gazed at Laura fondly. She wanted to remember this moment for the rest of her life. 

 

"First of all, you look really beautiful today, Laura. There are no words in any language to express the way I truly feel about you. How can I convey what I felt the first time I saw you enter that classroom like a hurricane? You had the same effect on my life, changing everything for the better. Before I met you, I thought the only person I could love unconditionally was my daughter and that I had lost the opportunity to find someone worth risking for a 'forever.'”

 

“What changed Laura is that with you I don't feel exposed. Being with you removed that fear from my life, and I became willing to give you everything, day in and day out. Today I promise you, Laura, that that's never going to change. Today I promise you that you will always have the best of me. I will always care for you and love you and our daughters, our family. That we will share all our dreams together and that every decision I make will be made out of my love for you.”

 

“And even though I know how strong you are, I vow that I will always be there for you when things get too much I will be your rock and that I will love myself enough to ask you for help when I need it. Today, Laura Eileen Hollis, I give myself to you completely, body and soul; and I promise you that I will love you for all the days that we have together."

 

Laura’s tears began falling at the beginning of Carmilla’s speech. She cannot help but look with adoration at the woman who offered her her heart to protect. Mattie passed Laura a tissue, forgetting that it was the same one she used to wipe her own eyes when she saw her sister devoting herself so completely to the woman she loved.

 

She took a few moments to recover, but Laura managed to calm down when Carmilla took her hands to gently play with her fingers and rub her thumbs over the back of her hands.

 

"Wow, Carm! How do I even follow that?" said Laura with a smile while still wiping away the tears. She never thought she could cry so much. Nor that they would be tears of happiness.

 

Laura coughed to regain her composure.

 

"Well, first I also have something to do before my vows."

 

Laura walked over to Hayley who was wiping her own tears and was fiddling with the handkerchief that Will had given her. Danny helped Laura with her dress so that she could kneel before Hayley and she took her small hands in her own.

 

"My wonderful little Hay."

 

Laura couldn’t speak for a moment from sheer nerves, and Hayley tightened her grip on Laura’s hand to encourage her. It always fascinated her how the little girl showed such strength despite her young age.

 

"Hay, I still remember the first time I saw you sitting at that table in the classroom, after standing up for Sloan. My first thought was that I wanted to hug you for having taken care of my daughter, but the feeling was going beyond it. It was like a force that brought us together. Today I know that one can fall in love at first sight and I’m not just speaking of what I felt for your mom, but that from that day, I knew that I wanted to have you in Sloan’s life and my life forever.” 

 

“Today, in addition to starting a new journey with your mother, I promise you that I will take care of you and love you like my own daughter. Today we will officially become a family, but I've always considered you as a daughter of mine. I want you to know that neither your mother nor I want you to feel obliged to call us anything different. No matter what the labels, what matters is how we feel. That’s what makes us a family. As of today, I have two beautiful daughters that I will raise and care for with the help of the love of my life. Whenever you need me, I'll be there for you, to cheer you on bad days and to support you in your decisions.”

 

“And don’t worry, Hay. I’ll even help you out when I think your mom is being too strict," said Laura stage whispering and winking at Hayley. Hayley giggled at that, and everyone else laughed too.

 

"I heard that Hollis!" said Carmilla, as she pretended to look outraged even though the smile on her face gave her away.

 

"Well, maybe only when you want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Because your mom will probably blow up and I have to sneak you out the window."

 

"Laura…"

 

"Because she doesn't want you dating until you’re thirty."

 

“Thirty-five at least, Cupcake. And can we please continue? You’re rambling again, and I’d really like to marry you today if possible."

 

"True. Well, I just want you to know you have me forever, my little Hay. I may not have given you the gift of life, but Life surely gifted you to me.” 

 

Hayley hugged Laura tightly while Laura picked up her up and held her in her arms.

 

"Laura, does that mean I can call you 'Mommie' now?"

 

Carmilla’s jaw dropped in surprise and Laura's smile became even bigger.

 

"Only if you want to, Hay."

 

"Duh! You always take care of me when Mom isn’t at home. You feed me, buy me presents, and read me to sleep, drive me to school and give me kisses when I fall. That’s what mommies do, so I definitely want two moms.”

 

Laura couldn’t help laughing and neither could the rest of the guests. Carmilla was too overcome by happiness to do anything other than wipe her tears away again.

 

Carmilla led Hayley back to her seat and returned to join Carmilla.

 

"Hey again, Carm."

 

"Hey again, Cupcake."

 

"I thought I had already cried all my tears, but this really is going to be difficult," said Laura with a nervous giggle But Carmilla took her hands in her own, and she found the strength to continue.

 

"Carm, I know it sounds so cliché, but I truly believe that you are the love of my life. I know that we went through so much grief to reach this stage. Even though some of these things caused us so much heartache and trouble, I would go through them again for your sake. I’ll never forget the day we first met; I think that I will never be able to erase from my mind that feeling of seeing you for the first time. Because I still feel the exact same way when I wake up every day by your side.”

 

“I never thought that I could ever be as happy as I am now with you and our daughters. Although sometimes I despair of your messiness and don’t understand most of your literary and philosophical references, with you I have learned that love doesn’t mean trying to change the other person to suit ourselves or fit in with our expectations. I love you for what you are, and every little detail that I learn about you makes me fall more in love with you each day.”

 

Laura cleared her throat again and took another deep breath.

 

"I love every little thing we have in common, but I've learned to love our differences even more. Today I promise that I will do everything in my power to make you smile every day because you know that I love your smile. To take care of our beautiful family and share our dreams for the rest of our days. I promise to love you day after day and never let anything separate us. I promise to support you whenever you need it and to let you take care of me when I need it. Today begins a new stage in our lives, and I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else but you. Today, I stand in front of you, Carmilla Karnstein, the most beautiful woman in the world, inside and out, to devote myself totally to you, with the full confidence that this is our forever."

 

Carmilla’s breath was taken away, but she still released one of Laura’s hands to caress her face tenderly. And Laura did the same to Carmilla.

 

The rings were called for, and Hayley and Sloan come to deliver them to their mothers. The exchange of rings was just as moving as they repeated the words of the presiding judge. After signing the register, he finally uttered the long-awaited words 'I now declare you wife and wife' and the audience burst into applause and shouts of joy. Kirsch and Danny even raised their fists in the air and whistled as they were at one of their beloved sports games.

 

Carmilla was so happy that she grabbed Laura's by the waist and pulled her towards her. Laura gave a delighted squeak of surprise and a small chuckle before Carmilla joined her lips with hers, even before the judge could pronounce the traditional "You may now kiss the bride' or in this case 'the brides may now kiss.'

 

Laura forgot all the people around her as and the only thing on her mind was the feel of Carmilla’s soft but eager lips on hers, especially when she flicked her tongue across her bottom lip as if asking for permission to deepen the kiss. Permission that Laura gladly gave.

 

"Hey! Stop that, you two. Save it for the honeymoon."

 

Naturally, it was Laf who had to bring them back to reality.

 

The couple were congratulated by their daughters, parents, siblings, and friends. There were many photos taken that day.

 

Among the guests was Betty, who had been renewed her friendship with Laura in recent years after working so closely together. Sophia was also there, along with her husband and children. Ian returned from his trip around the world because he didn’t want to miss the wedding for anything and surprisingly Elsie who had stopped harassing Carmilla when Laura warned her that Carmilla was hers when they met again. Carmilla usually hated possessive behavior as it reminded her too much of Ell and her self-esteem problems. But Laura was different; Carmilla loved being 'Laura’s' as much as Laura made her feel that she was ‘hers’ and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

The guests took their places in the largest pavilion that contained a  beautifully lit centerpiece that Laura insisted on having. Inside, there were three long wooden tables covered in white linen with chairs decorated in the same material and color scheme. Along the center of each table was a red table-runner with flower arrangements consisting of white Narcissus flowers, the very same ones that Carmilla presented to Laura on their first date. There were also black napkins, which made a beautiful contrast to the other colors used. 

 

Neither Carmilla nor Laura wanted to deal with the seat placements for the invited guests so everyone could sit wherever they pleased, and everyone had the same view. Also, the guests were just their closest friends and some co-workers. Most of them knew each other, so there was no need to allocate seats. It had also driven Perry mad, but she gradually came to accept it.

 

Perry had organized the main table differently; it had two large fancy chairs in the middle and smaller versions of these on either side. The central focus was on the hand carved centerpiece that had ‘Mrs. And Mrs.’ done in red calligraphy designed by Carmilla.

 

When Laura and Carmilla entered the tent, they were astounded at every little detail. Neither of them had seen the tent when it was complete as Perry had given them the morning off to take a spa treatment that their friends had all paid for, while she organized everything. Even though Laura kept sending texts asking how the preparations were going, Perry would only send back a photo or two each time. None of them conveyed the beauty of the place when it was finally finished.

 

After dinner, the first chords of the music begin to resonate in the area reserved for dancing. It was now dark, but the lanterns arranged around the pavilion subtly lit up the whole area with a soft glow. Laura immediately turned in confusion to Carmilla; it wasn’t the song that Carmilla picked when she won, but she didn’t look surprised at all. Before she could say anything though, her wife had taken her by the hand and led her under the soft light in the center of the dance floor. The song continued to play and little by little, Laura recognized the melody that was playing.

 

"Carm…"

 

"I know, Cupcake."

 

"But you won fair and square, and you said that our first dance should be to real music, not some ‘modern crap.’

 

"Laura, you’re my wife now, and I don't care about anything else. You wanted this song, and yes, I won the game to choose the song we played. So, what I chose was to make my wife happy on our first dance as a married couple," said Carmilla, as she positioned her hand on Laura’s back to begin.

 

_ You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down _

 

_ You, you enchant me even when you're not around… _

 

"Besides, I listened to the song carefully because you wanted it so badly for our first dance; and I must agree, that it evokes exactly what I feel for you."

 

Carmilla slowly began to sway from one foot to the other with her wife in her arms to the rhythm of the music. Laura simply followed her lead; feeling her wife so close always made her feel safe and she was always ready to follow her wherever she led. Carmilla was the more accomplished dancer anyway, apart from her already natural grace and poise.

 

"Then I won our first married fight?"

 

"Firstly Cutie, we weren’t married when we were trying to choose the song. Secondly, we didn’t fight; it was just a little disagreement. Thirdly, I won because choosing to make you happy, makes me happy too. And I intend to do that for the rest of our lives together.”

 

Laura hadn’t thought it was possible that she could cry from sheer joy so much in one day. It seemed she was wrong.

 

"Carmilla, I want you to know that I will always choose to make you happy for the rest of my life too.”

 

"I know, Laura."

 

The couple ended the dance with a heated kiss that everyone applauded, along with some whistles and whooping, mostly by Kirsch and William.

 

After the wonderful dinner, the floor was full of couples and groups dancing together. Hayley managed to convince Sloan to dance with her after Will said he was too tired but Hayley saw him dancing with her Aunt SJ later and realized that he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She didn’t mind at all.

 

Even J.P. danced with his new boyfriend, who was none other than Theo Straka. After all the drama of the press conference, the two of them had met up and become friends after the trials of Vordenberg and Ell’s father. J.P. had always found it ironic to say that he had found love in a court of law, but that’s the way it happened. Theo finally worked up the nerve to ask him out on a date after several months. J.P. was uncertain but Laura persuaded him to accept it. She was delighted at the opportunity for a little matchmaking.

 

Sherman interrupted the newly married couple to dance with his daughter while Lilita did the same with hers. Carmilla did not seem surprised at how friendly Laura’s father and her mother became in the last few years. It was nothing more than friendship; she knew they shared a bond that was more than the fact their daughters were married to each other. Both had lost the love of their life; maybe the circumstances were different, but they both know what that loss felt like.

 

Perry was still roaming around the pavilion checking that everything was running smoothly until Laf eventually persuaded her to dance with them. Their twins were running around everywhere leaving minor disasters in their wake as usual. As Carmilla watched, she was thankful once again that her daughters weren’t so hyperactive. Sure, Hayley was still addicted to anything sugary, but she could never match the level of energy of the twins that seemed to be everywhere at once.

 

When Carmilla and Laura rejoined each other, they were met by Hayley and Sloan. The little blond grabbed her new mother’s hand and danced with her, leaving Carmilla and Sloan speechless and slightly uncomfortable at losing their partners. But Laura and Hayley’s dorky dancing persuaded them to dance with each other.

 

"So, Sloan, what you think of the wedding, so far?" asked Carmilla, tentatively. 

 

"Uhm. It’s okay. I guess?"

 

Carmilla was the first to break the awkward silence. "You know that I meant everything I said at the ceremony?"

 

"I know. You know that I … uh… I love you…too," replied Sloan, blushing and hiding her face against Carmilla’s jacket. Carmilla was never one of those people that found comfort or joy in the spoken word because she always believed a person’s actions were a truer indication of their real feelings. But this time, however, Sloan’s words make Carmilla’s heart overflow with fondness for her new daughter.

 

Besides, it sounded like she was having an easier time of it than Laura with Hayley.

 

"Mommie, when will our little brother be born?"

 

"What?"

 

Laura stopped dancing, as she wasn’t sure she had heard Hayley correctly. She looked toward Carmilla who was obviously pretending not to listen.

 

"Isn't that what people do when they get married? First, they become girlfriends, then they marry and then they have children."

 

"I don’t think that’s going to happen to us, Hay. Your mom and I aren’t like everyone else. Also, we already have you and Sloan, and we’re very happy with that."

 

"Ugh, fine then. Can we at least have a dog instead?"

 

Laura couldn’t hold her laughter in any longer.

 

"I think that would much better, Hay," she replied with a smile, as she watched the other two people in her life that she loved the most dancing awkwardly, yet adorably together as the song ended.

 

Hayley dragged Laura over to Carmilla and Sloan to change partners. Laura breathed a sigh of relief, which lasted as long as it took Hayley to open her mouth again.

 

"Mom, Mommy said we could have a dog!"

 

"She what? Laura!"

 

"I asked when we were getting our little brother, but Laura said that we already had us, so then I asked if we could have a dog instead and she said yes."

 

"Uhm. I think that a dog instead of a little brother is a fair exchange, don't you think?"

 

"It is, I suppose," replied Hayley, already dancing as she heard the next song begin. “Well, at least, until my little brother is born anyway.”

 

Carmilla knew that her daughter wouldn’t forget about this for a while, but for now adding a dog to their family would keep her satisfied. Their family. Before she met Laura, Carmilla had never fully understood the meaning of that word.

 

Today was different.

 

Today she did.

 

"Are you okay, Sloan?" asked Laura.

 

"Uh yeah. I’m fine.”

 

"You know what Hayley says about fibs," replied Laura, teasingly.

 

"I don't think my nose is going to get any bigger, Ma."

 

"Oh, I don't know, Sloan. From this angle, your nose looks a little bigger," said Laura giving it a little boop.

 

Sloan laughed softly, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. 

 

"Hey, Sloan are you okay?” asked Laura, giving her a hug. “You know you can tell me anything."

 

"I know. It's just that Hayley calls you 'Mommy' and I don’t feel jealous of that, really I don’t. I know that you love her as much as I do and that she feels the same. But do I have to call Carm that?”

 

"Sloan, Carm doesn’t want you to worry about that, and neither do I. Hayley is Hayley, and that’s what she feels comfortable doing. I understand completely if you don't feel comfortable calling Carmilla that, and I know she would too."

 

"It wouldn’t be odd then if Hayley called both of you Mommy, while I continue calling Carm, Carm?" 

 

Laura lifted her face slightly to look into her eyes.

 

"Do you love Carmilla as a mother?"

 

Sloan nodded, while still avoiding the gaze of her mother.

 

"Then it doesn’t matter what you call her, as long as you feel it and prove it to her.”

 

The girl finally looked at Laura in the eyes and smiled broadly. And Laura knew then that Sloan would spend every day showing Carmilla how much she loved her. 

 

The following morning, Carmilla and Laura said goodbye to their daughters. After the long hours celebrating their union, William and S.J brought the four of them home. They fell asleep in each other’s arms as soon as they got into his car and only woke up to enter their home, undress, and collapse into their comfortable bed.

 

Hayley and Sloan had their own rooms, and it went without saying that each room expressed their personalities perfectly. Hayley had moved on from her addiction to Harry Potter but thanks to Laura, she had developed a fixation with Dr. Who. Her door now had a Tardis painted on it with help from Laura. Carmilla with the help of J.P. and Laf painted the ceiling in Sloan’s room and created a starscape with LED lights that lit up every time the room went dark. 

 

She never did tell Laura that Laf blew the fuse-board twice before they managed to complete this project.

 

There were many hugs and tears between the four of them, especially Laura and Hayley. The two of them had never been apart for more than a few hours since they started living together and now they wouldn't see each other for a week. Although it had been a long journey for Carmilla in repairing her relationship with her mother, she was fully confident that Lilita would take great care of her granddaughters. 

 

The second week of their honeymoon was another present from 'Aunt Mattie,' as both girls called her. She promised to bring the girls to their destination on the second week to reunite the four of them. This was going to be a surprise for them. They would spend a week on the French Riviera, fulfilling Hayley’s desire to go to the beach and Sloan’s eagerness to practice her French that she had been learning with Carmilla’s help. That, of course, delighted Laura when she found that they shared another common interest. Also, listening to Carmilla speaking the language of love was yet another thing that brought her great pleasure.

 

Of course, when it was time to say goodbye, it was Laura and Hayley who found it the hardest, while Carmilla and Sloan looked on and rolled their eyes fondly at the two of them. Laura and Hayley tended to embrace each other for any reason at all and sometimes being apart was like a bereavement for both of them.

 

Eventually, they managed to separate them so that Carmilla and Laura could make their way to the airport.

 

As the plane took off, Laura couldn’t help shedding a tear or two; she missed her daughters already. But on the other hand, she was looking forward to spending some time alone with her wife. Every time she spoke or even thought of the phrase, she couldn’t help smiling. And when she felt Carmilla intertwining her fingers with hers, she thought her heart would burst from pure happiness

 

Laura knew that despite all the trouble and bad luck that life had thrown her way, the future with her wife and daughters looked bright. For the first time in her life, Laura felt that her mother’s passing was the point at which she made all the decisions that led her to this moment. She was convinced that her mother was watching out for her and placed Carmilla in her path, something that made her love her even more. That’s what she thought to herself when she smiled at her wife, seated beside her.

 

Carmilla had taken Laura’s hand to comfort her, but when she saw her Laura’s dazzling smile, she took her chin in her other hand and kissed Laura instead. She was going to be forever grateful for every opportunity to kiss her wife, a word that she’d never tire of saying. When Laura’s smile got even bigger, Carmilla knew then that no matter what obstacles life threw at them in the future, they would tackle them together, side by side. Never was there a day when she had known such happiness.

 

Today, everything was different.

  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like it? Hate it? Say it! 
> 
> Here's my Tumblr so you can say clear and loud what do you think about it to my (digital) face. 
> 
> <http://mckarnstein.tumblr.com/>
> 
>  
> 
> Also... see you soon ;) 
> 
>  
> 
> *She smirks till dies*


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